Shit on the DL
Friday after work was fucking crazy. I got off work around 12:30 and headed out to Brandi’s again, off Jeff Davis. I was the first one there, so I just say and chilled with Brandi and Mike for like an hour talking. Mike is like my favorite dude ever, so chill and cool, I dunno. So people start showing up at like 1:45, even a bartender from Red Lobster, making all kinds of nice drinks. Everyone’s drinking except me, ‘cause I had work crew the next morning, and they always randomly pick out like 5-10 people to breathalize, and I’ve heard sometimes they breathalize everyone. Last Saturday morning I showed up drunk and almost got busted, so I wasn’t gonna do that again. I wanted to get fucked up though, so I was like, “I want some weed.” I put up $5 and everyone else chipped in and Mike got me a dime. Somebody else takes the bowl and smokes for awhile and give it back to me and I take a hit and inhale a bunch of weed, like all up in my throat and mouth. Mike and some dude that lives next door left to go somewhere. Then I smoke like 5 bowls in 10 minutes, just sucking ‘em down, then Miranda left ‘cause April got there and they don’t get along, and it was Miranda’s bowl, so I was shit outta luck. All of a sudden, someone gets a phone calling saying Mike and this other dude got pulled and they need someone to drive the car back. Brandi’s walking around screaming, “FUCK FUCK FUCK, EVERYONE’S BEEN DRINKING!!!” Then she looks right at me, and I’m like, “I’ll do it” like trying to be a hero and everything. The dude that mike was riding with, well his wife drove me way down Jeff Davis. Right after I get in the car, I realize I reek of weed, I’ve had nothing to drink or eat to cover the smell and she has nothing. My mouth starts getting like crazy dry. Not only do I reek, but I have bits of weed all over me, in my mouth and everything. So we finally get to the spot where they were pulled and they’re standing on the side of the road. I get outta the car and the other dude gets in and his wife drives him off. Mike throws me the keys and I unlock the doors and get in. I’m so high at this point, it’s not even funny. I’m trying to get this ghetto piece of shit car started and the key won’t go in the ignition. Then this Mexican starts stumbling towards the car holding his stomach. Mike’s like, “Devin, let’s get going, we don’t want him getting over here.” I’m like, “I’M TRYING, I CAN’T GET THE KEY IN THE IGNITION!!!” Mike tries and it’s his car, and he can’t even find it he’s so drunk. The Mexican dude comes up the car mumbling some espanol and Mike’s like, “Amigo, no hablo, no dinero.” Mike rolls down the window I dunno why and this dude is sticking his arm in the window. I’m like totally freaking out, but I finally got the car started and drove off with this dude trying to get in our car. Turns out the ignition is on the dash, not the driveshaft. So I start driving and the cops have been watching this car to see who was gonna drive it just so they could pull them. So I’m going down Jeff Davis with a cop on my right side and another one right on my ass. Luckily, I drove perfectly or I would’ve been pulled and then raped up the ass with a DWI. So I got us back to the party and chilled for a little while before I left to get a couple hours of sleep at Amanda’s.
Saturday night I’m at work and this girl that works in the kitchen that everyone calls Minime is being a real bitch to me. I’m like asking her for salads and she’s like, “Make ‘em yourself,” and shit like that. She used to be really nice to me and I’m all confused and I was talking with this dude Nick about her being such a bitch to me. Apparently he went and asked her why she was treating me like that and she told him she couldn’t tell him and he asked why and she said management said so. He came back and told me that and I was like fuck this, I’ll go ask the managers then. So I went to Dori and Lorraine, our Server and Bar managers and asked them what was going on. Well they had no clue, but they called Cristal in the office with me and asked her about it. She starts off, “Well, Devin touches me and makes me uncomfortable.” I’m dumbfounded at this point, never remembering doing anything to this girl. She says, “One day back at dish, he bumbed with his…(and nods her head towards my “lower region”) and once he put his arm around me and touched my stomach. I’ve already talked to Butch (the kitchen manager) and Dell (the general manager). Lorraine goes, “Honey, everyone bumps into everyone back at dish, I don’t think that was intentional.” Then I said, “Look I’m really sorry, I never meant to touch you or make you uncomfortable.” The managers were like, “Just keep your distance and everything will be ok. I’m relieved because I was scared I was gonna lose my job. Next night (last night), she’s working again, but got off fairly early in the night and just kinda hung around smoking and stuff like she does a lot. My boys Chris and Alan came in to eat free biscuits and drinks and shit and just hang out with me. All of a sudden Cristal comes and sits with them, apparently they’re all good friends from school. The night before when I’d gotten off work, I’d told Chris the whole sexual harassment story but just referred to her as Minime. Anyway, I motion to Chris that that’s the girl I had been talking about and he’s just as shocked as me. Cristal’s like, “These are my friends” and I’m thinking, “Bitch, these are MY friends.” Cristal’s being all nice to me like the previous night had never happened and shit. I just go along with it and wait on them and she orders food and gets Chris to pay for it for her. We’re all talking and stuff, and she brings up beach week, coming up with a story about how the person she was going to go with isn’t going and shit, and then asks me who I’m staying with. Well, I told her I’m putting together a house and she has the audacity to ask me to stay in my fucking beach week house. I told her that we were full. What kinda bitch is gonna claim sexual harassment one night and next night ask to spend a week with you at the beach?!? While I wasn’t at the table, I guess it got brought up and Chris and Alan told me that she said she had gone to the managers because this dude Brandon that works in the kitchen saw me put my arm around her and she didn’t want him to think we had something going on or something. Well I went straight to my managers Butch and Dori who were there and told them all of this. They totally took my side and said they’d deal with it. That’s some wack shit is all I can say.
So I had court today at 1:00. In order to get out of school and not get in any trouble, I decided to fake a stomach ache this morning at my house, so my dad would see it. So I just stayed in bed until he came in around 8:00 and asked me what was going on. He didn’t argue, and just let me go back to sleep. I ended up waking up at 11:30. I went to the bathroom and realized my dad was still home, I was like WTF?! He was still sleeping though, and I really needed to shower and shave before court. With no time to go to Amanda’s to do that, I had to do it at home. So I took a shower and I guess woke my dad up, ‘cause he was up by the time I got out. He told me he hadn’t gotten much sleep last night and decided to just go in after lunch today. I was freaking out, ‘cause I didn’t know how I was gonna get outta the house, especially dressed all nice for court. So I went down to eat some breakfast and came back upstairs and heard him in the shower, I was rushing around trying to get stuff together, but then I heard him get out and I was like, “FUCK!!!” Somehow he get back in the shower and I got all dressed and ran up into his room and was like, “I gotta go take pictures for photo class with Amanda before she has to go back to school, see ya later.” So I went to court, and sat there for like an hour hearing other cases and then I got up, and talked the judges’ ear off about how it was sleeting that night and how my tires and breaks were bad, and how I must not have seen the light go yellow right when it did. The cop was an ass telling the judge how his light was green for a good while before I came through the intersection in front of him, running the red light, but the judge was really nice, only charging me with Failure to Obey a Highway Sign which carries no points and I had to pay $70.00. Basically, he told me I made out like a bandit and was as lenient as he could be. So it went good.
This poison ivy or whatever I have is getting way outta hand. It’s consumed two fingers on my left hand, on the back of my right hand on my right wrist, left elbow, stomach, totally covering both my feet, and now it’s on my lip today. God damn, I just wish it would go away!!
Beach week plans are doing ok. Amanda’s getting really excited about the house I picked out in Nags Head and so now, we just need money from everyone, and the website said we only need a chaperone that is 21, so unless there are exceptions for that weekend since it’s beach week, we should be good ‘cause we have a couple people we could ask. It also says they only rent to family groups, so I guess we’re all gonna have to be “family.” I dunno how we’re gonna pull off the black guys if anyone asks, I guess they’re brothers and they’re in our family through marriage or something, haha. But it’s looking good, as long as all you guys get your money together, trying to get $200 this week, but we’ll take as much as you got.
I’m still gonna use MDD, I just couldn’t post this there because everyone had access to it, so this is like my secret diary where I write stuff I don’t want everyone knowing.
Song of the moment: brand new “Don’t Wanna Think About You” by Simple Plan