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i love only to be loved by u [04 Jun 2004|09:55pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | ok i believe but my tommy gun dont- brand new ] update nothins happened reli. mocik is gone for the year :)...well its sad cuz her baby weighs only 2 1/2 lbs n is due next monthish so shes gone. im havin new subs every day so i cut to ajs lunch like 4xs this past 2 weeks...awesomeness. our jr. research essays due monday n the kid i did the project with has the outline n he wasnt here today, n i dont think hes gonna do it. o well. we have 3 more real school days left n we r suppose to have a portfolio. yea i think not. home alone with aj yesterday fun stuff. bah i didnt want to work today but it went by fast cuz sams fun. yea i was suppose to hang out with aj, he had an interview after school n was gonna call me after. i dont think his interview was 6 hours long...still hasnt called. ugh. tom. is sats again. ugh so not in the mood for this shit. last time i got a 980 n its like a given that u improve by 100pts. so as long as im in the 1000s this time ill be happy, i bet ill fukin go down n get like a 700 or somethin. bein stupid sucks. w/e im gonna be a musician wen im older n theres no college that has majors in bein a "rockstar" so yea im good no matter wat heh. i should fukin be at starland rite now watchin matchbook, this sucks. next fri. is bno if i dont go ill be pissed. n of course i have work. fukin fridays SUCK. im stickin to my plan. hopefully ill go thru it cuz im done with this shit. *you* should die, u fukin bastard--> ill walk thru this wasteland before ill ever fukin hold ur hand again ill burn forever before i ever fukin see ur face again *let me know you are the one*.

i miss u so much that it hurts [30 May 2004|10:13pm] [ mood | depressed ] fri.- went to ajs at 7ish. good times as usual :) haha i will call that skank...:) mwahahah its gonna be good :p sat.- work 9-3. fun stuff. jay n his parents got me at like 610, we got v n went to starland. it was a long wait n i was in a bad mood. i miss aj too much :(. once we got inside i was better. got shirts n then went to our "spot" lol. idk who the first bands name was but they were reli good. then 18 visions played, amazin, omg wen the guitarist licked up the fret board hah that was so hot. then i went,all by myself, in for atreyu. wow they were fukin amazin. i had this 1 strong small guy behind me like the whole time actin as my body sheild lol it was great. but then i fell n got stuck by a pit with reli nasty guys but then i ended up back in the same spot. hah they did a bon jovi cover "u give love a bad name" that was fukin great. n wow durin the last song, lip gloss n black i went fukin nuts. so much fun, i still wish aj couldve been there:-\. we stayed for fata, they were reli good. some losers were mosh dancin in the middle of nowhere, a fight broke out, it was great lol. it was fun. got home at a lil after 12. sun.- didnt wanna wake up at all but gah. every time our family friends the heinbucks come over they always come wen im still in my pjs n shit, i got redi reli fast. justinn brought his guitar that he just started learnin how to play, hah they got him the guitar in a box, made me laugh. hell mustve frozen over b/c i was active. i played wiffle ball with just, uncle richie n my pops, n i hit some nice 1s for bein...me lol n threw a football around with my dad hah how not me like is that. then justins lil cuzin jason was dropped off cuz he was goin home with them. he looks like mike, freaked me out. they left at almost 8. wasnt too bad. on fri. my mom told me that tammys (bros g/f) lung collapsed. :-\. that scared me. she has such a small n petite body frame n she smokes alot. today my brother said that she said she was havin back pains n went to the hospital n found out it collasped. he said that they took this tube out that helps her lung, n that shes able to breathe on her own a lil, n she was startin to walk around n eat. on tues. shes havin surgery, he doesnt kno wat it is though. i feel bad about all topse times ive said i dont like her n shit. i was suprised that my parents were bein nice about the whole thing, my mom bought her flowers n a lil cat the meows to remind her of sugar heh. except today b4 my brother left to c her they were talkin bout how much its gonna cost n shit n my mom was like dont u open ur wallet. cuz my parents think she uses him for money cuz he spends a lot on her, cuz it happened with his last gf. n he was like ur always assumin im gonna do that n shit. i felt bad, i was glad he stuck up for himself for once though. hopefully tammy will be ok, i kno she will though, but still. ...ive never missed some1 so much n so bad in my entire life. if this is how i am wen hes gone for only 3 days, how the fuk am i gonna manage wen hes gone for 9?... im startin to realize how badly i need him in my life, i cant ever imagine wat my life would be like if he was out of the picture, i cant breathe thinkin about it. i love u more than nethin aj *let me know you are the one*.

[27 May 2004|08:58pm] [ mood | tired ] sat- aj got dropped off n mom brought us to vs house. we hung out ate chinese food n watch findin nemo, then went to wawa n had ice cream in jays truck bed lol fun. sun- work from 10-6 with sam, fun, minus bein pelted with bread lol. mon.- dont kno tues- 2months for me n aj :) <3 he came over around 430, we hung out for a bit, fought with the testies lol. got dropped off at ihop at 6, harassed eachother then gave in. saw shrek 2 at 730. it was ehh-y. played some games. mom flipped out, n he stayed over till about 940ish. fun nite. <3 wed.- guitar.practice empty apartment. slept all day today- slept in like all my classes. work with v 330-8, fun times remincisin, good times await ;) *let me know you are the one*.

update [22 May 2004|03:06pm] [ mood | productive ] tues.- pops bday, out to eat... thats boot it wed.- guitar went ok, starting to learn empty apartment by yellowcard. thurs.- ajness<3 fun times as usual :-* i love u sooooooooo much sexy. fri.-work from 330-8 with steph. that was about it. i started my 10pg outline at like 9. that was about it today-...werid dream :-\...i finished my outline with 9 full pages, which was the minimum, n i just finished my 5pg forest gump essay for history. im proud of myself. later me n aj mite go to vs house with jay n shit. dunno yet. as long as i c aj ill be happy :-D *let me know you are the one*.

prom/seaside [17 May 2004|03:44pm] [ mood | tired ] thursday- work with dani. fri.- half day. went to the mall around 120 to get angel , ankle bracelets, n hair clips. went to act 3, got my nails done, then my hair. ended up not gettin my make up done by trish but thats cool. aj came at like 430ish, wat a bombshell hehe. our moms were momlike n wanted like a million pix lol. then we went to trishes. took some more pix, waited for jay n nancy. left around 5. the limo was sooo cool, the lights were crazy, nancy hit me in the face lol. i was scared to get on the boat. we took some pix outside. the boat doidnt leave til like 7 cuz there was fog. we ate n joked. it was fun. we got to vs house at like 12 n left around 1 i think, stopped at wawa n left. sat.- we got to the hotel at 2ish, saw vikki n her bf, much confusion, then every1 finally got a wristband. hah trish fell. laugh. wen we were settled in the room we ate like mo'fos n then drank. awesome.then me n aj had some alone time. hehe. spongebob. lmao. sleepin with him is amazin *sigh* so lovely lol. we went to sleep at like 330, then woke up at 545 n were rowdy. lol then we woke up at 12. every1 showered n walked over to 711 then the boardwalk. aj won me a huge nemo, me n trish waste 10 bucks on a tacky small dog lol. we got shirts made, n met up with lots of ppl. we all sat on this chair to test wat we were or somethin i was sexy, aj was loveable, jay was uncontrolable, v was passionate, n nancy was borin hahaha. then we did a love o meter n i was hot stuff, aj was wild, n i forgot the rest. then we went on the carasel, i sat on the lion lol. cuz this bitch was gonna take my horse with the mohawk wen she ended up not sittin on it, snobby bitch.we left at 5ish, went back to the hotel i ended up in a bad mood. i stayed in the room for like 3 hours cryin :-\... every1 tried cheerin me up. then i just sucked it up n realized i shouldnt ruin the weekend. so i went in the other room with every1, drank some bacardi o3. trish braided ajs hair lmao. he like ran off outside cuz he was mad i wouldnt talk to him, we had a lil moment n then it was ruined by us findin 20 bucks on the floor hah that rocked. we were all pretty drunk lol n went to the boardwalk. saw every1 again, went on the carasel hah funny. we went on moby dick n bumper cars n paul n aj went on this buccaneer type thing. it was a fun nite. we walked around a lil, then me n aj took the hotel key n ran off lol. we were alone for like 10mins. then paul n tanoya came back but were in the other room, then every1 came back. things went bad n me n aj left to take a walk around 1 i think. we went across from 711 n sat on a bench n watched these drunk men run around it was funny. "yo that curb rite there is whack" "yo whea bikeman at?"..a police officer on a bike hahaha we came back n slept on the coach, not fun. sun.- woke up at like 830, me n aj werent in the best of mood to talk to ne1. but that eventually went away. we were packed n redi to go at like 9. we were drivin n were gonna go get breakfast. n then "it" happened. jay was tryin to switch lanes n didnt c this guy comin n he hit us. i just remember a boomish feel. jay was like freakin out. the car was bad but not that bad. we were all reli upset n scared. the cop was nice though. jay got a $75 tix for careless drivin n $50ish for too many ppl in the car. we went to eat n jay n v n aj waited for his parents. they came n his dad looked reli mad :-\.. then they just left. then v n trish went home. n basically me nanc paul tanoya n aj were stranded lol. nanc called her mom n she said shed get us at 2. so we walked around. went to the beach, found a fish on a hook lol ew. then we stopped at cvs ajax for 69 cents! woot. lol. then we finally made it to the boardwalk, aj won me henry the flower lol. hten i got i <3 aj on rice, in a lil vile with a lil red rose lookin flower, its reli nice. nancys mom came at like 330. we slept in the car, n got home at like 4. my mom picked me n aj up n ajs dad got him at my house. that was pretty much it. minus all the drama prom/seaside was a lot of fun. today- i was dead, got some pix back. cut into ajs lunch hah i got hit in the head n arm by bottle caps then i like walked into a pole on the way out. funny. some of my pix will be done by 5.. i shall be scannin. "i will drop a tear in the ocean, n wen i find it thats wen ill stop lovin u" <3 i love u so much aj *let me know you are the one*.

[12 May 2004|04:55pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | stolen from some great writer- spitalfield ] mon.- stayed after for a lil with aj, then went to mcdonalds with trish. yay for free kiddie cones. hah the kid wouldnt give aj another so trish talked to the manager n got him 1. funny. then we went tannin with v. then we went to stores n shit. fun. tues.- bad mood in the mornin. went home with v n trish. got nancy n had our talk. then they dropped me off at ajs. heh he was half nude. i played with the moosh n talked with his mom n grandma while he took a shower. bubbles r fun. then we went to go watch fern gully n shit. we ate dinner, n had creamsicles. yummage. hung out for a lil more then bitch of a mom came n crap. wat a bitch im nosey. so i did some "research" n got myself in a bad mood, idk y i just do that to myself. then aj showed me somethin that pissed me off so much. just fukin ugh today- i slept in some classes. things we werid n idk. guitar was ok. he taught me bout findin chords that fit in a scale or w/e thats called. n he said next week we'll go thru my cd again n start a new song. that makes me happy. besides the fact that i kept messin up on reli stupid things :(. i hate myself more today than usual. its been about 3ish weeks alredi n ive fukin GAINED? weight. im gonna fukin like overdose tonite n tom. n fri. n nothin will happen. not fukin fair. i hate this shit. good bye *let me know you are the one*.

ive never fallin in love so fast [09 May 2004|09:22pm] [ mood | loved ] thursday- aj came over, awesome times as usual. v n jay came at 8 n we went tannin. cool. fri.- work with trish. went to pick aj up. things went bad. went to the mall for half hour?. aj went home. trish drove me home. very bad nite :( sat.- work with dani n steph n then trish. things r better n true feelins r exposed lol :). at 8ish me n at aj met up at the mall. hah the dollar tree rocks. fun times. then trish came for a bit. then me n aj walked to the movies. saw van hellsing. worst n longest movie ever. lol. i got home at friggin 1. today- went to brooklyn with mom n jon. thats it. i L-O-V-E u aj, i meant it with all my heart *let me know you are the one*.

i have a reli sexy boyfriend *drool* [05 May 2004|08:11pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | lip gloss n black- atreyu! ] mon.- eyebrows, flower place, tannin then mall with v trish n nanc. then me n trish went to joyce leslie to get her chinese slippers lol. i found a necklace for my dress n shit. then we met up with v at her house n trish facialized me hah. tues.- im a bad girl :). went to school. waited for aj to come in then we went out the art wing doors n v n jay picked us up. yes kids we cut school. wat rebels. first we went to jack frost n aj n jay ate. i was feelin sick b.c im a dumbass lol. then we were gonna go to jays house but his mom was still home. so we went to some lil park hah such fun. me n v were like retarded n went on the swings. lmfao then we all went on this spinnin thing n we got reli dizzy so i jumped off n then wen v did she fell on the floor n was like rollin haha i almost peed. then me n v humped the dino lol. then we went on separate benches. me n aj harassesd the ducks. it was fun n romanticalish. then we went to best buy n looked at car acessories. then we went to jays house. went our separate ways wink. hah shudder. we went to vs to get money then we went to the flower place so jay n aj could order me n vs corsages. then we went to wendys. shit happened. ppl named aj were bitch like n gilli went home saddened. i got home at like 330 n literally held the phone next to me waitin for the school to call, they did at like 720 n i was able to answer n pretend i was talkin to trish. trish came over with a choker n bracelet that matched my dress. then we went to the palmas meetin. today- everythings kosher again with me n my sex toy. i got my yoo hoo wristband that ive been askin for since like dec. lol. school was borin. guitar was fun. steve said i could record my own cd for tiger lily lol. boo yah. then me n mom went to the mall. got new underoos, a bag sexy pjs n annoyin bra for prom n shit. n she found me a mini composition book for the aj n gilli lovart book lol sexual. 3 in 1 day :-\. idc nemore man. i need it to work a lot faster or ill lipo myself with a vaccum n a knife n some thread n a needle. sounds good. tom. is aj n gilli day. yayness. then me n v go tannin. fun. i LOV_ aj :) *let me know you are the one*.

i be missin u [02 May 2004|08:57pm] [ mood | bored ] friday-did nothin sat.- work. was suppose to go to ajs house but my mom is a mega bitch. i hate her. today- work. twas fun. tom. is girls day with trish n v. 1st we go tannin, then imma get my eyebrows done, then trish is gonna give me a facial, then shes gonna do practice makeup for prom for me. hopefully we will go to the mall too so i can get some things, n then go to rosie posies to order ajs pocket rose lol. fun stuff. 2 weeks till prom. gotta talk to kara bout fake ids. i will be comin home with somethin pierced from seaside. unless its reli dirty....adios 1*told me they are* - *let me know you are the one*.

i lov u :p [29 Apr 2004|08:02pm] [ mood | loved ] havent updated in awhile...o well..nothin speshial reli. today was the 1st time in like 2 weeks that me n aj hung out...awesomeness :-D. sigh. thats all i have to say. weeeeee cough *let me know you are the one*.

but i cant help fallin in love with u :-\ [23 Apr 2004|10:06pm] [ mood | scared ] [ music | fools rush in- hi-standard ] wed.- mom = bitch. guitar was good, reviewd n practiced tiger lily. thats bout it thurs.- :( no aj. v n jay drama caused by the ultimate scum bag. they said i helped fix things :) yay. while mom was at work i had a wine cooler.. wen she got home shes like y is there 1 missin..wow wat fag counts them?..my brother got them FOR me.. wats the big deal if im in my room drinkin a wine cooler!...a WINE COOLER. jeez. today- blah. work for 330-8 with trish. fun. i got a dollar yay. i was gonna go out but mother is homo. w/e. aj was suppsoe to call..he did not i miss him too much. in school ill c him b4 a class n then durin that class ill wanna c him again. i dont want things to go too fast n shit cuz its happened b4 n i dotn wanna get hurt. but i kno the last thing he would ever do is hurt me, n thats y he makes it so hard not to ya kno. its not that i dont like or want this feelin or w/e. im just scared. he threw hints that makes me ponder cuz i always think i like a lot more than he likes me n i feel obsessive n gay but then he makes me feel like its cool cuz hes basically the same. sigh. punishment needs to end, i miss him so much :(. sunday will be one month. seems longer but not. yea. i loart u aj . bye *let me know you are the one*.

i heat a [20 Apr 2004|08:11pm] [ mood | worried ] [ music | gettin by with its- reggie n the full effect ] today= drama n shit. this mornin everythin was pretty ok n then moe came over n he was screamin at aj n they got in each others face n shit. gah. then i heard it happened again with jay n him again after 1st period. the rest of the day was ok. i decided to stay after with aj n jay did too, cuz if moe stayed after then shit would be goin down. so it was me aj jay jared tom n his bro matt n we were just walkin around n shit n moe walked by about 5xs n just walked away. n in the mornin he said to aj that after school if he sees him hes gonna kill him or shit n ajs like yea no u wont. he had the chance n basically ran away. then v came n shit. aj lifted for a bit. then me aj jay v n tim went outside to watch the girls track shit it was fun. then we decided to go out to eat at wendys. tim is a scary driver, we almost died about 10xs lol. we went to ajs for him to get money n he said he couldnt come. me n tim met jay n v at wendys. then somethin happened n they left. then i got this reli scary text from aj :-\. n tim drove me home. just talked to v, everythins ok. moe said somethin bout huntin aj down.. yea fukin twat is gonna like sdgujhf. i hate him. i wanna talk to aj reli bad. his phones off n i called his house n his dad said he wasnt allowed to talk to ne1 :-\. im worried. i hope thurs. is still ok. :( 5 days *let me know you are the one*.

[19 Apr 2004|10:07pm] i fell asleep i forget wen, cuz i was soo dead n i didnt wanna go out to eat with my family. at like 5 my mom came in tryin to wake me up, if i didnt show her i was breathin she prob. wouldve thought i was dead. then she thought i was cryin cuz i didnt wanna get up n shes like wats wrong n shit n im like go away. then my dad started bitchin so i was all fukin pissed n got ujp n like stormed out of the house into the car n he was screamin n shit. we went to some deli. i dont kno wtf was wrong with me but like i guess they stressed me out so much. i was just so angry n i just started cryin in a friggin restaurant, i have no clue y. n they were all like wat happened blah blah. yea it sucked, but i got a lil better cuz my dads reli corny n he kept pullin that whole shpeal, yea id like to have a good day so i can remember this before i die. like wtf i hate wen they do that shit ..ugh..ill go 1st. i got happy cuz my mom was askin how aj liked the shirt n she told my dad how i got him a shirt at the concert n hes like thats nice, but he didnt sound sarcastic, which means he actually likes aj, cuz my dad doesnt like ne1, so yea thats cool. i want it to be thurs. me+ aj + wine coolers - 1/2 parentals = mucho fun. :-D *let me know you are the one*.

[19 Apr 2004|03:48pm] [ mood | grumpy ] [ music | mable-goldfinger ] thurs.- 'date night'... aj came over...we watched the goonies n findin nemo...n stufff lol.. my squishy<3 fri.- skate n surf day1... amanda picked me up at like 230...we got their at like 330 we were online for a lil over an hour..first we shopped. the first real band we saw was relient k. they were friggin great, ive waited so long to see them. n they sang sadie hawkins dance, awesome. then we saw coheed, some of tsl, then we went to c sugarcult, they were reeli good too. then we saw the 1st 3 songs of brandnew, awesome.i got home around 1140. hah bandcamp...hah sat.- amanda came at like 1130, we got there 1230ish. we shopped. then we saw northstar, goodness. then we saw senses fail, my chemical romance, midtown, joan jett lol, n we stayed for 3 soty songs. sun.- shecame at 10ish this time. we got there 11ish. the line wasnt that bad. we shopped real fast. i saw brandon from madison, my pal. me n manda went to c hoemgrown. awesome. then we went to catch some of cave in. then saw bno, n early november, reli good. then we were buyin stuff n i saw tim lol crazy. then there was supposedly a fire so we went outside n couldnt get back in for like a half hour, the arcade stage was packed so bad. but we finally got in to c fall out boy , reli good, crazy...lost amanda. but i stayed in for matchbook, i ended up rite behind chris. matchbook was fukin amazin. we left after less than jake. i got home at like 8ish. skate n surf was all around greatness. i cant wait for warped tour cuz every1s goin n its like 10mins. away today- nice day. gave aj his sexy mr shirt. cuz im a nice person :p...school sucks *let me know you are the one*.

[14 Apr 2004|10:51pm] [ mood | cranky ] tues.- yesterday idk wat happened i forgot. we had to stay after to get prom tix n shizzle. me n aj got in a fight lol buttface... i got in like i reli bad mood n then this bitch has to go n give me a dirty ass look...fukin twat... uh aj came over n we chilled n stuff lol, at like 6 me aj mom pops my brother tammy n nick went to applebees for my brothers 21st bday...i kept hintin at some purchasin of wine coolers for me this weekend lol..score!. lots of twitches n pinches went down, cough cough lol. went back home n aj went home at like 9ish. cool today- v n j left me once again...steam...im proud of myself, in child dev. yesterday the beast showed me my grade ,55.5...wow man its sucha bullshit class, just cuz i didnt hand in 1 project. so i handed it in this mornin n i have a b now...yea go me. after school i went to get my hair cut...meh...i havent gotten it cut since like the summer or somethin. i think she cut off a tad too much on the angles n stuff, but its suppose to look like that. it seems a lot shorter though .meh. then i went to guitar.. hah there was a lil fight, it was great. the whole lesson we worked on tiger lily, so i kno the beginnin n chorus, yay. i was happy cuz we didnt go over an exact rhythm for it n i went over n i got the rhythm by myself with the song n he kept sayin how good i was doin :) fun. tom.s date night..yay. bye *let me know you are the one*.

[12 Apr 2004|12:36am] [ mood | worthless ] [ music | tulips are better-atreyu ] sat.- relaxed all day pretty much. was gonna maybe go to the movies with aj or somethin. at like 8 he called sayin he was comin to get me with his cuzins n w/e cuz he was at his familys house. i didnt want him to but like an hour later they came n i was forced to go lol. he drove n i got to sit in the front fun. it was fun. i met some of his family from his dads side. i was nervousish but they r all reli nice. we left at like 940 or somethin n we just hung out downstairs n watched duplex, funny. n stuff hah. i got home at 1230 n shit . today- v n trish came to get me at like 730. us sam n dani worked till 2. it wasnt that bad.. there would be like crowds n then nothin. we had fun. *jerk off jig* "hi im gill nice to meet u" hah silly negro. got home ate like a fat ass. slept for like 5hours. at 8 v told me nancy got her sat score. so from 8 till like 20mins. ago i was tryin to get my score. wasnt worth the wait at all.. the thing just pops up n its like yea heres ur score...im fukin hysterical n my moms like im proud of u, u did reli good. fukin lies. i didnt do good, i dont feel like tellin ne1 wat i got. im never gonna be able to get in a good college. im gonna be a worthless piece of fat nobody till the day i die. i hate this. i cant fukin succeed in nethin, ill never be successful in life. the only career i want is musician, n im never gonna be able to accomplish that either. i suck at everythin. i mite as well fuk school, gettin good grades wont do shit. the sat is wat matters thats it. n if i cant fukin do good on that ill never get newhere in life. i told my mom how im not gonna get into ne colleges n shes like thats not true, n its ok u can go to brookdale... wtf did she not say a few months ago that she refused to let me go to brookdale b4 a real college. yea that shows how great i am. im fukin done with school. theres no point, i should drop out. good fukin nite. i hate me *let me know you are the one*.

i should have known that u were a killer [10 Apr 2004|02:56pm] [ mood | loved ] [ music | kill the drama- spitalfield ] wen i was at work yesterday my mom called n told me my brother was ok n stuff thats good.. it was me trish n steph at work, crazyness... scrotum. hah it was fun, busyish though. i shall never forget the old russian lady that came in...brown n pink yes. hoppy birtday mert. hah i got home at like 810, got dressed n stuff. my mom told me the hood of my brothers car is like folded in or somethin. oy. jay n v came to get me at like 9ish then we went to get aj for our lil double date lol. we went to moores tavern, mm salad lol. then we were gonna go to the movies but it was late so we just drove around for awhile, got home at like 1240. then me n aj were on the phone for like 2 hours. funness. he read me a lil letter type thing he wrote after our fight. smile. he said he wrote me a song a long time ago. but wont let me read it....i will though cuz i have my ways :) preciousness lol i mite c him today dunno depends n shizzle.... im done for now. bye *let me know you are the one*.

i should have known that u were a killer [10 Apr 2004|02:56pm] [ mood | loved ] [ music | kill the drama- spitalfield ] wen i was at work yesterday my mom called n told me my brother was ok n stuff thats good.. it was me trish n steph at work, crazyness... scrotum. hah it was fun, busyish though. i shall never forget the old russian lady that came in...brown n pink yes. hoppy birtday mert. hah i got home at like 810, got dressed n stuff. my mom told me the hood of my brothers car is like folded in or somethin. oy. jay n v came to get me at like 9ish then we went to get aj for our lil double date lol. we went to moores tavern, mm salad lol. then we were gonna go to the movies but it was late so we just drove around for awhile, got home at like 1240. then me n aj were on the phone for like 2 hours. funness. he read me a lil letter type thing he wrote after our fight. smile. he said he wrote me a song a long time ago. but wont let me read it....i will though cuz i have my ways :) preciousness lol i mite c him today dunno depends n shizzle.... im done for now. bye *let me know you are the one*.

[09 Apr 2004|02:33pm] [ mood | worried ] [ music | i would walk 500 miles-allister ] everythin was goin fine this mornin... out of every1 my dad had to answer the phone, i wasnt told nethin, but im pretty much figurin it out.. tammys mom called tellin him jon n tammy were in a car accident, they r fine... my dad said jon said he didnt c the car comin. then her mom called sayin that tammy was gonna drive jon home n my mom like flipped out on her sayin her n my dad had to go c the car. this isnt a good thing. things like this has never happened to us, until tammy came into jons life... a few months ago she told me she was pregnant again. idk if she still is... hopefully not or else this family is gonna fall apart. i hope my brother is ok :(... last kiss came on the playlist... wat would happen if my brother got reli hurt...i hate tammy :( 1*told me they are* - *let me know you are the one*.

ive found a reason [09 Apr 2004|01:09am] [ mood | bored ] [ music | my best mistake-cts ] cant sleep... today was fun, aj came over at like 4 i think, i forgot. we watched spaceballs..foooooooooooooooooooled uuuuuuuuuuuuuu, haha thats hilarious, we had fun wink. i introduced him to matzah pizza..n more kosher for passover foods lol. me hearts u hah, i was readin entries from my journal from last year, omg i dont think some1 could be so fukin gay. it was reli sad, pathetic. i think im a lot more mature n less gay than that, i hope lol. tom. i work, bah i feel like bein lazy, n i cant eat nethin :(...ill prob. break that lol double date with me, aj, jay n v perhaps? we shall c... adios *let me know you are the one*.

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