[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Wednesday, April 30th, 2003|
Talking about what? Who's talking
I am not much for rambling. I don't say much of anything really. I hate talking to people. I just keep to myself. I used to write in journals frequently. Then I realized. I have nothing to say. Writing out my feelings has grown a little futile. What does it matter? I think on-line journals are the cowards way out for me. Whenever I wirte something about someone I am secretly imagining I am speaking to them & letting them no what I feel. Of course in real situations. I burn bridges. Well,more than burn. I pretty much demolish them. I cut off all communication. If they try to talk to me, I don't say anything. Not a word. Sometimes I want to kick myself. I always feel like I should have let them know what I was thinking. By,that time of course it is way too late. It's just that the more I say,the more I dwell. So,I pretty much shut down & move on. No one gets second chances. In all honesty I am not so sure if I care or not. Like this guy Chris that I used to know. If had the chance I would call him a whiny faggot. I hate that word & would never use on any other occasion. I just know it would hurt his feelings. I probably wouldn't stop until he lashed out back at me.
Then somehow,I'd feel justified. I want them to hurt like I do. I just don't have the balls to do it. I just walk away. Talking takes way too much.
*Sigh* Who knows.
|Friday, April 25th, 2003|
The never ending cycle of bullshit
No call. Damn him. Damn him to hell. Why the hell do I go through this? The funniest thing is I don't care. I think I am more angry that I don't care. Atleast,I won't have to find something to wear. Ex bf called & his phone went dead. He didn't call back & now he isn't coming to my party either. This blows. Oh well. I am in a fairly good mood for some reason though. Yea,it sucks that no one ever comes through. But,hey you have to keep the faith.
|Wednesday, April 23rd, 2003|
Waiting for anything...
What a fucking boring day. I spent the whole day excersing. There was nothing to clean,so I watched t.v. My niece was asleep most of the time so I didn't have to watch her much. I waited for a call that never came. Sometimes I feel so pathetic. On the bright side, I am going drinking this weekend with my best buds.Good times.
Well,not too much of anything went on today. This is the second on-line journal that I have. I don't really know why there is a need for two. But hey you can never write too much. I guess...
Current Mood: lonely