i'm moving my journal over to livejournal, which is where i wanted to be all along...

check it out...http://www.livejournal.com/~tylerpistol

Last night we had a hardcore meeting at David and Sanan's, and also celebrated Jenna's birthday. Jacki suggested we watch "the Breakfast Club", and so we did. I can never see that movie too many times. I think it reminds me of how important community is, and should be required viewing for the church. I like how the characters start off as stereotypical teenage-types, and in the end, they find out they all have the same kinds of fears and insecurities. What I find frustrating, however, is that Bender taunts and torments Claire throughout the movie, and by the end, she is attracted to him. Is it just another case of someone being attracted to a total jerk that they know will treat them poorly?

This city is confusing. If it wasn't hard enough to adjust to understand Quebecois French, I have a harder time understanding Parisian French speakers speaking English. The home care lady kept asking me for my "cawwiage", which I eventually figured out meant "carriage", or my senior citizen shopping cart that i use to haul my laundry around in.

Last night we had a church picnic with barely anyone there. It was still fun, though. We sat in a park and ate peanut butter and crackers, and watched dogs and people. The dogs all seemed to run in the big pond thing to cool off. There were a lot of weird couples and people. The park seems to attract men in capri pants, which is both strange and sad. There was also an older couple spraying each other with a hot pink water bottle to keep cool.

I got home to see a Simpsons episode I'd only seen part of before, and a good episode of King of the Hill. It was the first one I'd ever seen where Hank wasn't distraught that Bobby was engaged in an activity or hobby that he considered less than manly.

I'm going for an MRI tonight. Yeah, this is what my life has become. Saturday evening at the hospital, getting a bone scan to look for avascular necrosis in my femur! It was either this, or Wednesday at 11:30 p.m., which is entirely weird. I guess they keep the X-Ray and MRI department open for emergencies that come through which may require surgery, so they just book appointments whenever since they're busy.

Two things have become obvious to me.

1. I really cannot grasp the concept of grafting. I know that they gave me the graft surgery as they believed it was my best chance at avoiding a total hip replacement. However, I can't understand how that works...the bone was dead. I guess I thought death was final, but they drilled a hole in the bone, put some fresh bone in there, and attached the arteries. Then, months later, it appears the bone has totally healed, fully alive, and is on it's way back to normal. It's such a weird idea. I guess I should be used to it. My dad brought orchids back to life by grafting all the time. One time he even saw a nice orchid at an airport, and sliced off a tiny bit with his pocket knife, then grew one at home. The human body and it's healing properties are pretty amazing.

2. You only hear about horror stories. When I did research on this surgery, I didn't hear many success stories. There were a few skeptics dismissing it's effeciveness, but not much else. I guess the surgery has an 80 % success rate, which is pretty good, and the people who had the surgery in the 70's and healed just don't bother telling people that it was good surgery. If it was normally a failure, I'm not sure my surgeon would have gone through with it.

They have these 20th Birthday Cornerstone videos on the Cornerstone website that are pretty funny. Music is a very fickle thing...the musicians who played in 1984 were totally cool at the time, and now look hilarious. Mike Roe (77's) looked pretty goofy in his many incarnations, and seeing the L.S.U. Mike Knott/Cookie Monster mask footage still makes me wish I was there that year.

Last night I had a dream that I could fly. It's a recurring dream of mine. I was walking around my parent's neigbourhood, and started flying around. Then it dawned on me that I had a special ability that no one else had, and that flying is incredibly liberating. I began flying just for the sake of flying, and all of the pedestrians on the sidewalk were oblivious, which I found odd, but didn't much care.

Other dreams included witnessing a bank robbery committed by professional football players, and tricking a piglet-child named Pigli into behaving (she was hanging on a doornob, and I was worried she would fall.)

Here are some links featuring some Christians doing some pretty cool things. I've just been thinking about Francis Schaeffer today, and his ideas about Christianity and the Arts, and how Christians should be taking art to a new level because of their "direct line" to the Creator. Check out these links...

http://www.bandoppler.com/
http://www.damienjurado.com/
http://www.unwedsailor.net
http://www.notperfect.org
http://www.incident-report.blogspot.com
http://www.theooze.com
http://www.microcine.org
http://www.pedrothelion.com

I'm starting to feel older and more jaded about the younger generation on a daily basis. I was just browsing through an MxPx message board, and I found all these teens talking about their first MxPx record. Most of them started with "the Ever Passing Moment", which came out three years ago. Then I think to myself "wait, I started listening to them with 'Pokinatcha' in 1994, and I bought it used a couple weeks after it came out. Most of those kids were in elementary school then." I remember back in those days when the band actually hung out at their merch table at Cornerstone and could play a gig without being mobbed.

My next thought is "Aren't I a little old to be listening to this stuff? Shouldn't I be into something more adult oriented by now?" Adult, scmadult.

I got a fotolog last night...http://www.fotolog.net/tylerpistol

Since I don't have a digital camera, I'll probably just use it to showcase art I make in Photoshop. It's fun, I guess.

I'm going to get my hip looked at today to find out how the healing has progressed. I'm kind of nervous and scared, as I don't want to be told I need a total hip replacement or something ridiculous like that. My hip feels pretty good, and maybe I'll even be allowed to do some walking soon. I've been reading up on the surgery a bit, and there's an 80% success rate. Most cases that have been done thus far manage to save the femur, and I've also read that a good number of cases may never require a hip replacement. It's kind of scary to be dealing with all this at 29, but I guess you can't take this kind of thing for granted...

This afternoon/evening I finished two pages for a new issue of Awkward. It's amazing how good that feels. It was inevitable. After all, I have a whole mess of free time. I've been doing a bunch of creative stuff, like the soon-to-be-launched studioesen.com, and getting stuff together for my also soon-to-be-launched home based freelance copywriting business. I've also got this blog thing, which is making me write more and more, and getting me back in the habit. The juices start to flow, and I got in the mood to write, and next thing you know I'm scanning pictures and doing some hafltone stuff with my scanner, and I've got a zine going. There's something about doing a zine that is exciting and fun. I guess it's the sense of accomplishment of seeing layouts on a page that you made, and that gross feeling of glue stick residue on your fingertips. It's been over a year since I've started a zine, so we'll see how long this takes. Could be a while! I remember how much fun I used to have after coming home from Wal-Mart, sitting and cutting and pasting and listening to good music. David Hitchen and I used to sit and shoot the breeze and do layouts for 54 Isabel zine at the old Herring, too, which was a good time.

In further weather news, I guess it got to be 32 out there, with high humidity. I opened the door to receive a delivery today, and he hallway in my buidling was like a sauna. Thank goodness for the moderately sized white window box that blows cool air into my home.

My parents left for Ontario today, and my brother left on Wednesday morning. Everyone had a good time, and we had some good things to eat. Now it's back to reality, and it's kind of scary and exciting. I found out today that I'll be getting a good sized check from Employment Insurance. That will help out a lot, and my parents won't have to cut me a check for the next while. Hopefully it will last until I can work again. It also buys me some time to start my freelance copywriting business. I'm excited about the future, I think. I'll see the doctor tomorrow about my hip, and hopefully I'll be somewhat weightbearing in the future. Even walking with crutches will help my mobility. It's kind of cool to think that if this freelancing thing takes off, I can just work at home and make pretty decent money.

Apparently it's crazy hot outside today. I'm sure glad I have this A.C. unit in my window, so I can work on stuff while I'm stuck indoors, and not pass out.

My brother brought these dvds of 1930's kiddie cartoons, and in one, this (later proving himself to be gay) angel gives a passing airplane the finger. I'm not making it up.

Mom brought all my Michael Knott/L.S.U. cd's from home. If I wasn't nostalgic before, I sure will be.

Yesterday was quite an eventful day. Jeff returned to Soulseek, and told me needed an emergency appendectomy. I guess it was ready to explode! That was scary and exciting. Then I ended up talking to Cyndi on the phone long distance for the first time in ages...last time I spoke to her she was a single girl, in a studio apartment. Now she's got a bigger place and a fiance, and a Nathan to keep her entertained. She also introduced me to the new MSN messenger, which has some fun new options. You can play tic tac toe with people you chat with, and you can use this decision wheel to help you run your life. All in all, a good time.

My parents and brother get here tomorrow. That will be the first family reunion since 1999. It will be fun. We get to eat out at good places and see the sights. We're going to do things that I haven't even done yet since moving here. It will be good seeing my family again. I can remember back in January when I said goodbye to my parents and June seemed so far away. It seems like everything has changed since then.

"Ladies and gentlmen of the jury, I'm just a caveman."

"I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists."

"Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic makes me want to get out of my BMW and run off to the hills or whatever. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine I wonder, Did little demons get inside and type it? I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts."

"But there is one thing I do know. When a man like my client slips and falls on a sidewalk in front of a public library, then he is entitled to no less than two million in compensatory damages and two million in punitive damages."

"Thank you."

It's getting warm outside today, which is nice. It's been cold and rainy for so long, we deserve a taste of summer. Now I've realized I've got to go pick up that air conditioner Paul and Bonnie are selling me before the first major heat wave strikes. That thing is going to save my life during those days where it gets so humid, you see a haze over the city. You really need to avoid busy streets, as the added heat from car engines is enough to make you pass out. I remember walking home last summer with a disgusting sweaty t-shirt clinging to my chest, knowing my apartment would only be hotter. Since I'll be home recovering all summer, the air conditioner will be nice. I can work at my computer or read a book comfortably, and more importantly, get a good night's sleep. It will give people an excuse to come over, too.

Claudia is bringing over Pillsbury cinnamon buns and Japanese cartoons this morning. Human contact is good.

I was chatting on MSN with Shana (my good friend on the left coast) today about codependency, when I discovered this link:

http://www.recovery-man.com/coda/symptoms.htm

I read it, and commented how these symptoms were an exact description of my former employer. She agreed. I could think of several incidents with my boss for each symptom that was listed. I guess it explains why he was such a whack job. Shana goes to an emergent church, like me, that seems very cool. Check it out: http://www.marshillchurch.org

My crutches are finally taking their toll on my shoulders. I've been waking up the past few nights, and my shoulders feel weird. Then I stretch them out, and it feels like my muscles are all stiff, and I feel the bone popping around. Ugh. I had nightmares all night again, too. I had one dream that Freddy Krueger was after me. Seems to be a recurring nightmare for me, ever since Paul and I decided to watch every "Nightmare on Elm Street" ever made. Then I had a really scary and weird one that I had this huge bleeding cavity in one of my teeth, and another was broken badly.

I received word from a former co-worker that he got laid off by my former ESThole boss. It seems like another step in his Group Advancement Therapy delusions of grandeur to create a Stepford Family-esque cult workplace. My recently unemployed friend and I were the only ones who refused to do the Landmark Forum, and received a lot of tongue lashings and abuse on account of it. From what I've heard from various insiders, there's big trouble in paradise. The end of this story is far from written.

I was joking with Lisa last night (who refers to Windows XP as the "clown interface") about starting a "Save Tyler" website. Of course, I'd never qualify...the creators of those particular sites usually dig themselves an oversized financial hole courtesy terrible spending habits. I just have no income and a serious injury to overcome. Instead of bailing me out financially, I should just start a website where I ask for various gifts....you know, like movie tickets and cds and stuff.

Speaking of which, I need to get my hands on a copy of the new Paperbacks record. I file-share downloaded most of it, and it's amazing. I want to actually pay for a copy, though, so Jack and Doug can get paid for their good work.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention this. I was talking to Jeff yesterday via Soulseek, and he mentioned Music Baron Downtown in Winnipeg closed up. I guess they packed up all the Cellar merchandise a few weeks ago and moved it to the Madison Square location. It's all pretty sad. I got a huge portion of my punk/hardcore education in that store. I'd been going there since I got into punk, and used to like talking to Andy O. about good music. A few years ago, Jeff, Mike and I started going there most every Saturday, where we'd hang out with Ian and Andy, and they'd play me essential albums I needed to have. I bought a lot of my favorite albums in that store, and learned about some amazing stuff there. If it weren't for the Cellar, I would never have seen Repo Man, heard This is Boston, Not L.A., or bought a lot of stuff on the Captain Oi label. I spent many an hour listening to Ian's latest Reggae finds, or having Jeff, Mike, Ian and Andy team up on me and insist I add a cd to my collection that they felt I needed (and they were usually right). Of course, I thought they were on the verge of going out of business three years ago, and they got new management. When the Cellar got moved upstairs, the store started to lose it's feel, and just over a year later the Cellar is gone forever.

Now when I visit home, there's nothing much left to do downtown, except eat at Mondragon and check out A and B Sound.

I woke up again last night, and couldn't remember what day today was going to be. Everything kind of blurs together when you don't work, or have a schedule. My week is defined by what day my physiotherapist comes to see me, and what day Santropol Roulant has something good I want to order for my meals on wheels. Last Tuesday I was convinced it was Monday because I spent the night before watching movies wiht my Sunday friends. It's all so confusing.

Last night I watched a rerun of the first episode of Canadian Idol. It's interesting to see how different the show is from the American version. The competitors are definitely more Canadian thus far, and the judges seem better. I think the lack of slickness is good, too. The host is the son of former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney, and he looks a lot like him, which is freaky. The Winnipeggers who auditioned were very Winnipeg...clothes about three years out of style, and a lot of Le Chateau wear.

This morning I kept up my Sunday tradition of listening to vintage Christian Rock records all morning long. I've managed to lose interest in the majority of the dorky Christian rock I liked in years gone by, but a lot of it is still really good by any standard...see "Shaded Pain" by L.S.U. to see what I mean...