Mel's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]

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you're standing on my neck [14 Dec 2003|11:32pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]
[ music | theme song to Daria ]

I'm going to tell everyone who reads or doesn't read this a story. Hold on tight.

Once upon a time, a girl named Mel got a really bad cold during exam week. She thought this was the WORST thing that could happen, but it turned out well in the end. Because of her sickness, her best friend drove up to visit her on her deathbed. A night of house parties and dancing cheered Mel up, and even though it made her sicker the next day, was well worth the extra effort. She even dragged herself away from studying in her cave the night of the Chancellor's midnight breakfast, where she and her Breese babes feasted on scrumptious over-par food, at least under Blackhawk standards. Mel turned out to be the smartest girl in all the land, or at least the girl who studied hardest. She passed her exams with flying colors, then packed up her things and was driven home in her chariot, complete with leather heated seats and Christmas music playing softly in the background. Her homecoming was not as gracious as she had dreamed, but she felt happy to be home. This happy feeling was quickly squelched by her unsuccesful attempts at Christmas shopping, and a lonely time being stood up by friends. The next day proved to be better when Mel picked out the digital camera she wanted for Christmas, had a cookie baking marathon with her favorite aunt and cousin, played piano and danced with her favorite 9 year old, Ali, and helped pick out the most PERFECT Christmas tree--her first real tree in her whole entire sheltered-from-foliage life. Decorating it tonight, she felt content with her pudgy tree and twinkle lights. Too bad this feeling won't last for her, because for the next four days straight she will be working 8 and a half hour days at Walgreens pharmacy, where she is surrounded by cretins; employees and customers, alike. Mel is glad to be home; however, she misses the company which was found in Oshkosh. "Three weeks," thinks Mel to herself, "tough it out and you'll have them all back." But she wants it all back now. No more working, spending mopey nights with parents, no more phone calls to friends because they are too far away. She misses the wonderment found in the quaint little town of Oshkosh, and the love she has found for herself there. The countdown begins...

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why hello, 67.... [04 Dec 2003|10:30am]
[ mood | busy ]
[ music | So Long, Astoria--The Ataris ]

things I think are stupid:
my stupid math class, stupid english portfolios, bio, chem, I'm getting fat, PA Mel who wrote in to fucking GLAMOUR because she thinks she's cool or something, the Destiny's Child xmas cd that the bitches down the hallway play at night, Univ. Books and More, garbage trucks, winter

things that have made me happy since the last time I updated:
huggy moment in "say anything," Elf, hanging out with Stace, reading in bed, Taco Bell, little cousins Cole & Kailye, going to Erbs & Gerbs instead of Butts & Guts, adventures with public transportation, doing good deeds, craft making for a dollar, crochet seminar, going out to eat with all my girls, 4th floor Breese, random visit last night from So Mil boys at 1AM, super good hugs, banana nut loaves

things I thought were sexy in the past few days:
suits, sexy blue eyes, haikus, John Mayer

back to doing the shit-load of things I need to do before next week...wish me luck, kids. and don't worry...despite finals and portfolios and everything, I still love it here. GO OSHKOSH, GO!!!! :o)

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it's been a while... [24 Nov 2003|11:39am]
[ mood | cold ]
[ music | "Here Without You" -3 doors down ]

it's been a while since I updated....and I don't want to do my bio or math, so here I am. Everything has been SO hectic lately, I've barely had time to do anything. I haven't played guitar, read a book for fun, I've barely gotten to write in my normal journal. Damn busyness....but I don't mind. The last couple weeks have been the best I think I've ever had!!

Family birthday was a success...everyone came and now I have lots of money again. yay. :o) and stace and erin came over and we played guerilla style scrabble and laughed our asses off about it. lol. those girls are the greatest. Tuesday was our Oshy thanksgiving at Alissa's...she made us the best thanksgiving dinner EVER!! There was soooo much food, and all of it was so good. I think she was really stressed out about it, I wish I could have helped out more. :o\ Then Wednesday was my was honestly the best birthday ever, I wanted to cry about it but I couldn't because I could not stop smiling for the life of me!!! I got so many "happy birthdays" and signs and presents and hugs....and I got my bellybutton pierced!! it's so parents came up to take me out to dinner, and the girls from my floor baked me a cake, and paul baked me one too...they all sang to me and we ate cake in my room....then the rest of the night was spent at alissa's where we got trashed in honor of my birthday...ha, let me just say that I got everything I wanted out of that night....laughs, fun, booze, cigarettes, spooning, and a random drunken birthday kiss from some guy I had never met before. Yes, I love Oshkosh. lol. Friday night I went out with OC people...we did power hour at this girl's house...I did half shots and sat out A LOT, but still got tipsy and had lots of fun laughing at matt's dancing skills and singing to "we are the champions" at the end...we went to another house party after that to meet up with audra kat and em, but left after a little was really expensive and smoky and we felt like it would get busted...but it was still fun. Saturday night we all went 'cosmic bowling' with the blacklights and stuff until midnight...I really wanted to steal the shoes, they were so fucking awesome...but I felt bad. Damn morals. I'm excited to go home for the rest of the week, I leave tomorrow morning. I just have a lot to do before then. ahhh. oh well. I can't wait to lounge around in my pajamas and eat tons of home cooked meals and sleep in and see friends and read books and magazines for fun until my eyes fall out....SO excited. :o) But i'll miss my oshy people... :o\

Austin and I have been talking a lot lately. Like, for hours at a time. Half of the time one of us (or both) is inebriated, but...we still have some really good conversations about stuff...why the hell is florida so damn far away from here??? It pisses me off...I hope he comes for Christmas. :oD

I had such a crappy sleep last night...our door makes this weird knocking noise, I think because it's so windy sounds like someone is trying to get in, and I hate that, so it took me forever to fall asleep...this morning's chem exam sucked royally....but my HP paper is handed in, and now I'm going to lunch with Kristin before she leaves...yay....i love college...i can't wait until next semester. :o)

ps-it's only 18 degrees outside, but i guess it technically feels like 1 degree. OUTSTANDING! :oP

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a few keen observations [12 Nov 2003|03:39pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | "It's You" -Michelle Branch ]'s crappy outside, and I am in a fairly good mood, so here are just a few keen observations about Oshkosh in general...the campus, the city, the people:

1. The weather is always twice as crappy here as in Milwaukee. It's either stifling hot, freezing cold, or as in today's case, raining which has turned into some of the biggest snowflakes I have ever seen. At least we have heat now. Until yesterday our radiator was broken and we were living in a virtual tundra, covered by mounds of blankets at all times. Mr. Radiator fixer came yesterday, and now we are comfortable like everyone else. Yay.

2. People on campus are all REALLY friendly. Seriously. If someone is ever crabby it is because they are having a bad day, not because they hate it here. We all love it here. The boys are all such gentlemen, too. They'll hold open doors for you on the way into a building, strike up a conversation with you in the library, and even let you have free drinks at their party and help you stumble home afterwards. I heart them all.

3. The main activity to do here on weekends is to drink. If you are not into drinking, the only other option is to work or sit by yourself in your dorm room and watch movies. That gets old. Pretty much everyone here gets tanked at least once every weekend. It makes for fun Monday stories.

4. TITAN WEB SUCKS. All the horror stories are true, folks. On registration day, it never works the way it's supposed to, and once we all finally get the hang of using it, they change it so we can all be confused again. I think that may be because the computer guys like the extra phone calls. Maybe it's just me.

5. There is a little bit of mystery in everything here. For instance, who wrote "thanks for the weed" on my door last week? How did the tiny mystery sock get into my laundry bag? And once I taped it to our door and was even going to make a picture and theme song for it, who stole it? It really saddened me to see it go. The only way it would be forgiven is if the original owner found it. If not, that person is going to hell.

6. I love the food at Blackhawk. Sure, it's said they put laxatives and depressants into everything, and I definately believe that,'s just so damn good. It's comforting to sit there for hours with friends and not feel stupid for eating the same amount of food as the football player sitting next to you. After eating a full meal and an extra entree, no one even comments when you grab that ice cream cone...and extra cookie. :o)

7. I have the coolest CA in the world. She helps us work out *ahem* issues, comes to dinner with us, and just last night we had a dance party in her room and prank called a guy she likes. I feel lucky. Everyone else I talk to says their CA sucks. Nope, not mine. She's cool with us and what we do, and reminds us, "just don't stumble too much when you come back, I'm on duty tonight."

8. The city of Oshkosh isn't anything to boast about. Sure, it's great to go to the Super Wal-Mart at any time of day or night, but if that, or other food chain stores doesn't turn your crank, the only other option is to drive twenty minutes out of the way to Appleton. Now, there's a quaint town that know's what's up. How is it that Oshkosh doesn't have one Barnes & Noble??? Aaaahhhh.

9. Nothing on campus is more than a 10 minute walk away. This is another reason why I'm glad I didn't get accepted into UW-Madison. I have woken up at 745 for an 8am chem exam and have made it on time after washing my face, putting on clothes, and grabbing a ho-ho and juice on my way out. I'm also glad everything is so close because I am one of the laziest people I know and walking long distances tends to make me ornery.

10. To be perfectly honest, I hardcore miss my friends from back home. I didn't think I could ever go on without them there every night, to hang out with every weekend. But I'm dealing. I have met some of the coolest people here who I can go out and have fun with, others who I can play guitar and sing with, and still others who I can tell all my problems to, receive advice, and get a hug from afterwards. It's hard to feel lonely when I'm surrounded my so many wonderful people. I also love the random dance parties in the hallway, shower parties, and all the other silly things we do on a daily basis.

When I left Milwaukee, I thought I would never again find such a wonderful place with such great people. I was wrong. I love Oshkosh.

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fun friday [11 Nov 2003|10:59am]
[ mood | cold ]
[ music | "Breathe" -Michelle Branch ]

yay, my weekend was awesome. Friday Lauren, Shannon, and I went to Alissa's and got a little drunk...but the good kind, where we thought everything was funny, and where you love everyone and everything. It was so great, Alissa drunken pierced our ears, we made drunken cookies, and I got to spoon with Matt, the 22 year old from downstairs who smelled like Axe. Mmm...I love weekends here.
Saturday I went shopping with Lauren in Appleton, and came back around 7. I put in a movie around 8 and fell asleep for the night somewhere around 930. I was pissed because I told three different people I'd meet them out somewhere, but...whatever.

8 days until my birthday!!! WOO HOO! :o)

I love my, and back home....they're the greatest, and they make me so happy.

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tired like the wolf [07 Nov 2003|10:35am]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | "Me and the Moon" -Something Corporate ]

Man, am I tired today....I even went to bed early last night....even though I couldn't sleep when the Emily's came home drunk and felt like screaming and banging things around. Blah.

I placed into Spanish 204, yay. So if I get a B in it, I get all the retro credits and am done with foreign language for my major. Hooray.

After talking to my sistah last night, I've come to the conclusion that I am juggling too many boys right now. It's really not a good thing, as happy as they all make I'll do something about it. Who knows.

I'm REALLY looking forward to this weekend.

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funny how things change... [02 Nov 2003|09:55pm]
[ mood | crazy ]
[ music | "You & I Both" -Jason Mraz ]

First off, why is Jillian the only one who updates their Blurty anymore? Seriously, I feel really out of the loop.

Second, so many things have happened since the last time I updated, so I'll write a brief synopsis of what happened in chronological order according to my old fashioned paper journal:
~Kim's wedding rocked...I had more fun that I thought I'd have...hardcore. :o) AND I didn't have to pay for, gas, booze...yes, free road trips rock my world.
~Avon party on our floor was exciting. Yay, free make up and being silly with the coolest girls ever.
~awwww little trick-or-treaters came! I wanted to steal one and make it live with me in my dorm.
~woke up at 745 for a 8am chem exam....but made it and got a B on it. *whew*
~ The Jason Mraz/Michelle Branch concert was really good, but it was waaay too long. In the crowd I found Alissa Lauren Shannon & Katie....Shannon tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I would live with them (Alissa Kristin Lauren Shannon) my Junior year...I love those girls!!! I'm so excited now, even though it seems like forever before I'm a junior..
~Paul and I have been hanging out more....Chris sort of walked in on us watching a movie and went way psycho...I hate that God. We saw Finding Nemo tonight!
~someone shit in the showers here, it was the grossest thing ever...almost.
~So my family is now the proud owner of a pick-up truck...yeah....a big fucking red one. It's crazy. My dad made me drive it, and sadly, I enjoyed it. I even made the honking semi motion while driving. Awesome. Bluey is mine...ALL MINE!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA.
~confessed EVERYTHING to my mom...woooooah weirdest thing ever, yet strangely liberating.
~lunch with Sarah was happy...i miss my big sister. :oD She's the coolest.
~ Amanda and I hung tons of xmas lights up in our is now a sex palace. Yes, you heard that right.
~ I didn't realize how much I miss home until this weekend....I love having friends who hug me and who laugh with me and do nothing with me, just so we can see eachother. And I love having a bathroom all to myself, and a HUGE room where I don't have to share anything....I love my parents and some of my other relatives....and Milwaukee, oh GOD MILWAUKEE. I can't say enough about the best city on the planet. I plan on staying there forever. *sigh*

Stuck between wanting things to change, and wanting things to stay the same....

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at last.... [26 Oct 2003|06:44pm]
[ mood | thankful ]
[ music | "When You Say Nothing At All" -Allison Krause ]

FINALLY I've found someone here that I can be with, who wants to be with me. ahhhh. It's been so long since I've felt all of this...that weird feeling in the pit of my stomach when he puts his arms around me, nervous energy yet total comfort when we're around each other, feeling like a princess every time he opens a door for me....he's serious about Italy, I'm going to start paperwork for my passport when I go home this weekend. It's I wasn't expecting this at all, and especially not from him, my Odyssey leader. Ha! Fate works in mysterious ways, I guess. I'm *really* glad it does. :oD

....but I'm really sick of all the psycho Chris drama. Fo real. I want him to leave me the hell alone.

ugh, I wish I were going through menopause. :oP

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take me away from this place, have a new name and face.... [23 Oct 2003|10:05am]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | "The Hero Dies in This One" -The Ataris ]

ahhhh I just had the weirdest breakdown ever. my head hurts. i want to sleep until forever comes. honestly, I don't know why so much shit has been happening to me. I'm doing horribly in my classes, it's hard for me to be happy, I'm becoming a hermit...if it weren't for Alissa and HER friends, I'd be such a loser. I don't want to be here anymore....I want to go home and be with my friends and my parents and work at the mall the rest of my life. Who needs a college degree to be happy, anyway? On a brighter note, Amanda called about the wedding. Operation: get-smashed-two-nights-in-a-row-because-it's-free is officially going to happen. And I couldn't be happier. I really REALLY need a break from everything here, if only for a weekend. God, I could use a hug right now.

"sometimes this all feels like a dream...i'm waiting for someone just to wake me up....from this life." (ataris)

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what is going on here? [21 Oct 2003|06:58pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]
[ music | "Bright Eyes" -Jason Mraz ]

where am I? why am I even here? what have I become? what happened to my friendships?


....all the somethings I had, all the things that were going right for me.....aren't anymore......all I have is, I can't say that....I have a few people here who are way more than something....but.....AHHHHHHHHHHH I don't know anymore....I feel like I don't belong in my own room here, in my own fucking I hide out at the library.....I live for Monday lunches, and Thursday bonus lunches, Real World/Newlyweds Tuesday nights, and other excuses I make for people to hang out with me. I let too many people walk all over me. I don't like it.

Dan talked to me online today...isn't that the most baffling shit you've ever heard?

......I just want to go home.

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HAHAHAHA my chapstick landed in my shoe... [20 Oct 2003|07:12pm]
[ mood | dorky ]
[ music | "One Year Six Months" -Yellowcard ]

I'm a Cosmopolitan, discover your ALcoHoLiC personality!

ahahahaha tonight has been one big geekin' out fest. FO REAL. yay, tonight was premiere night with Alissa! We were talking about next year, and here's the plan!!!!! I'm going to get a single first semester and then she wants to live in the dorms with me second semester! AHHHH we would have waaaay too much fun. having evil laugh contests and eating chocolate and watching weird movies and whatnot. That seriously brightened up my spirits for the future. *whew* Okay. Survey time...maybe I'll post it if I get really bored later. PEACE!

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this is why I go to college... [18 Oct 2003|10:22am]
So...last night was kind of what I thought it would be. But that's not a bad thing at all. I ended up going to the Beta house with Andrea, Matt & Amy, but when we got there we were seriously the only people there at first, it was really weird. We found a case and opened it, but I barely had half of mine, I wasn't in the mood to drink at ALL, which is really weird for me....drunken calls from friends made my night and I decided to go back to the dorms. :o) Then Amanda and I ordered pizza....DUDE!!!! A large pepperoni pizza from Domino's was only $5.24! I couldn't believe it, I think I'm going to pig out at midnight more often. :oD Yay for going home tonight to carve pumpkins and see friends.


....and Happy Sweetest Day, too.
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I'm gonna hold you closer than before.... [17 Oct 2003|12:21pm]
[ mood | loved ]
[ music | "Just Friends" -Gavin DeGraw ]

ahhhh, last night went SO well....

Paul and I went to see a play called "Fuddy Meers" last night. The play was really really good, I'm glad we got to go. He's so sweet....he dressed up, and wore cologne, and held open all the doors for me....and we talked about anything and everything. He made me so happy. :o) After the play we went back to his room and hung out with his friends. He had to make a lot of phone calls for his job, though, and I was getting bored, so I said goodbye and left. Apparently he felt really bad because he came up to my room after I was already in my pajamas and watched part of Two Towers with me for English. :o) It was so refreshing to go on an actual date and have butterflies in my stomach and that spark of electricity every time our arms touched....which was during the whole play. lol. We hugged at the end of the night, and it was good.....ahhhh, I can't believe something in the boy department could actually be working out for me. Crazy shit, let me tell you.

Hopefully going to Beta with Andrea tonight.....I want to go out SO bad! :oD

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looks like I'll be eating alone again.... [16 Oct 2003|05:26pm]
[ mood | hungry ]
[ music | "Unwell" Matchbox 20 ]

Well folks, the clouds have officially lifted, and I am out of my mega-funk. My grandma sent me a card yesterday, and my mom & dad sent me a package full of the COOLEST stuff ever. I love them, I'm so excited to go home this weekend. Then after classes Lauren, Kristin, and I went to the mall in Appleton and had fun shopping and whatnot....when I came back to the dorms Alissa was across the hall and acted sad that I was leaving, so I ended up staying through the WHOLE BACHELOR instead of doing homework...after that, she decided she didn't want to see Katie yet, so she came back to my room and we ate like half of these chocolate pretzel things my mom made and were totally geeking out and laughing our asses off over the weirdest things. Ha, talk about being too happy sometimes. :o) I'm glad she's at least here to make me feel better though. After she left I remembered I told Paul I'd stop by, so I did and we sat in his room with Tyler and the other Mel for a while....we're going to see a play tonight. Teehee. I'm fairly excited, so in honor of it I went to the library for 3 hours today to get homework done so I'd have nothing to do tonight. woo hoo. ahhhhhh online yesterday, chris goes "Hey, I bought you something, you'll get it saturday" and then mysteriously signed off....ahhh saturday is sweetest day, I'm SOOO SCARED. Good thing I'm leaving at noon though...hopefully it won't be before that or i'll have to hide in the closet or something. Eesh.


I'll be home saturday if anyone wants to hang out call the cell. :oD Off to the Hawk to eat alone. I know you're jealous.

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all I'll never be.... [14 Oct 2003|10:34am]
[ mood | gloomy ]
[ music | "Bright Eyes" -Jason Mraz ]

....really on my way to having a nervous breakdown.

the littlest things keep pissing me off to the point where I just want to kick people. but I can't do that. so I complain to other people, but even that's getting old. I miss my friends. here I feel like even though I am constantly surrounded by other people I am alone. I feel that a lot here. except when I'm with Alissa or Kristin, or even (gasp!) KATIE. but....the honeymoon is over, folks. Mel wants to come home. I've somehow managed to see Stace & Erin the last four weekends in a row, and that's been I'm going home again this weekend. I don't want to be up here, especially if my girls will be gone, too. I'm going to carve pumpkins, and sleep in, and be hugged as many times as I can until I cheer up. ....people can be so obnoxiously loud here. I love some of these people to death, but screaming on a cell phone, playing the same song over and over, and turning the im sound ALL THE WAY UP really can start to bother a person after a few weeks. And it has. everyone has a boy, it seems, except for me. I know, I know, it's still early...but I miss the way they smell, and the hugs they give, and being able to take naps and cuddle. I even miss being picked on for my love handles, and having messy hair, and eating tons of food all the time. I don't know....I really don't anymore.

(turning from her computer, Mel climbs into her bed, and dives under her covers) "Tomorrow will be better," she says, half believing, half hoping her statement is true.

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don't you love those leaves? don't you wish the orange stayed forever? -saves the day [11 Oct 2003|11:56am]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | "More Than Anyone" -Gavin DeGraw ]

that was an awesome roadtrip...and somehow we made everything work out.

Thursday: ran out of bio lab early, sped/geeked out all the way to Madison and actually got there on time, met Andy and went to Noodles with him & Erin. Sara picked us up and we went to her apartment for a little while. Then back to the dorms where we hung out with Jared, Erin, and The Admiral. :o0 Cranium is the best drunken game ever. Seriously. Animal Crossing, Hitchhiker's, was nice.

Friday: left Madison at 1030 and didn't get back to Milwaukee until 115. Holy cats, we had to go through miles of road work where we came to a complete stop...Alissa kept having nervous breakdowns because she was afraid she wouldn't be there for her friend's Aveda test. But somehow we made it (even early!). She didn't have time to find parking, so she just gave me her car and I got to drive it around downtown for the day. Pizza Shuttle, Harry W was a good time. I picked her up and continued to drive us downtown since we had to waste time until 7. Erb's & Gerb's, little shops on Downer, Dorky Yorky ice cream, then we drove to the lake. We walked around, took pictures in a tree, geeked out some more, sat on a park bench, and i drove us back to pns. We parked next to Stace's car and tried taking a nap, but people kept calling her phone and we geeked out AGAIN about "Stacy's Mom"...I don't know, it was so funny. We have way too much fun when we hang out. So we went to Taco Bell and stuff until Stace got off work. We decided to go ahead of Erin, etc to the Rave since they'd be late and we didn't want to miss the first two bands...but we sort of got on the wrong express way and got really really fucking lost downtown at night. We were seriously in the ghetto, and I just wanted to cry...i felt like all of yesterday I was lost in cars. I hate that feeling. grrrrr, but somehow we found it an hour after the show had started. The guitarist from The Early November swung around and hit the singer in the head and knocked him unconscious for 5 minutes, but we missed it. Hearing about it was still funny. The Starting Line was really really good, I'm glad I got to go after all. Then we went back to Stace's and passed out in her family room.

and now I'm back in crazy and nerve-wracking as this road trip was, I think I'd rather be doing that again than here. Everyone on my floor went home for homecoming, and I honestly don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of the weekend....oh well. I'm taking advantage of everyone being gone by sitting here typing this in my bra. :oD Teehee.

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AHHH! YAAAAAY! :oD [07 Oct 2003|09:58pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | "Follow Through" Gavin DeGraw ] :oD YAY!

1. Mad blowing off classes friday to go to Madison with Alissa on Thursday....then if she gets rid of her on call we're staying in Milwaukee friday night and that means I get to see the Drive Thru Records tour at The Rave with Stace & Erin! YAY!

2. My mom got in an accident with my car that I'm buying this summer. WAH. A 75 year old turned right in front of her in guess what kind of car? A BUICK. I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE FUCKING CARS!!!

3. My grandma sold her house, yay!

4. Amanda taped me up for her Athletic Training class tonight and got a 95%! YAY!

YAY MADISON ON THURSDAY!!! I have to finish my paper :o)

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I know you well enough to know you'll never love me [06 Oct 2003|04:20pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | "Outside" 311 ]

Today all the power from the whole campus went lots of classes were cancelled. None of mine, unfortunately, but one did let out early because of the whole lack of seeing thing. Meh.

I talked to Kristin over lunch's so funny, I haven't talked to her for the weekend, but we had so many stories it was like we've been gone for months. She, Lauren & Shannon signed the lease for their house next year! It's on Cherry!! CHERRY! I'm excited...I really REALLY hope Alissa stays though. I know she's really excited about New York and everything, but....she keeps me sane here. I need her to stay with me.

The trip thing really won't be working out on account of it being sweetest day and state marching competition. Fucking Shit.

AAAAAAAAAAAAND I think I need Paxil. Or Wellbutrin. Or maybe even Seroquel...I've been feeling so down and mopey, and schizophrenic lately.
1. I procrastinate WAY TOO MUCH and now I'm up to my ears in all work and no fun. NO FUN MAKES MEL SAD.
2. I feel like I'm sidling in on people's plans and friends here. I know they love me,'s just the way I feel sometimes.
3. I want a Chris, or a Nino, know. That's what I want. Something tangible instead of these broken dreams.
4. I'm really fucking sick of Blackhawk, I want to throw up everytime I think about eating. So if/when I go, I just get one really small thing. Yes, I'm on my way to having an eating disorder.
5. I still don't know what I should do with the rest of my life, and damnit, I don't want to take any more math or science classes....EVER. THEY BLOW.

I'm in the kind of shitty mood where I just want to go to a friend's house, be wrapped in a blanket, and either talk, watch a movie I've seen a thousand times, or have a book read to me. I just want to feel better.

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[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | Matt Wertz ]

this weekend started out WAY better than it ended. Exhibit A:

Friday: went and saw Taking Back Sunday & Saves the Day at the Rave in Milwaukee. TBS totally rocked, and I almost died when they did the swaying push thing, but Pete saved me and I sang my heart out. I love them. While we were in the balcony watching saves the day we noticed this guy behind us who turned out to be...THE BASSIST FROM TAKING BACK SUNDAY!!! I gave him a hug, he goes "how are you?" and I just screamed "I LOVE YOU!" ha..he took my hands in his and just said "I love you, too." AHHH HE LOVES ME TOO. I orgasmed in my pants about 8,002 times after that one. Seriously. Then we went to the UWM dorms to visit this Matt guy Jenni's kind of seeing (Jenni, by the way, was really civil if not super nice to me that night. And I felt bad being anything but nice back, all worked out.)

Saturday: Work 1-7, hung out with Stace at Best Buy & Solid Gold McD's then to Erin's for a while and then to her house to watch snl. I miss that girl SO MUCH. She's my favorite ever.

Sunday: found out some bad news about my grandpa dick :o( Went to April's baby shower, then back to Oshy. I sat at Alissa's for a while talking about the weekend and doing homework...then back to my room to be frustrated about how I am such a procrastinator...

On the bright side....I may be going on a trip the weekend of the 16th. Let's hope it works out!

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AHHH TODAY IS FRIDAY! [03 Oct 2003|11:09am]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | "If you really wanna hear about it" -The Ataris ]




ps-huge thanks to alissa & her cheesy potatos, lauren and her crazy drinking goggle straw and dirty dancing, kristin, and shannon for last night. you guys all rock.

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