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Monday, February 23rd, 2004
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4:18p
hee hee hee. My hair is now a new shade of perhaps... redish purplish brown. It was a boo boo. Somehow the blonde in my hair tangled with the Mohagany die and turned my hair a different color than what was on the box. I rather like it. I didn't want redish though... some many people have it. Now i have DRY HAIR! yes. I have a new hair cut too. I told the lady to just cut it real short... about an inch would be left... because i was trying to get rid of the blonde. THen she was like, hey can i bounce it off you or tell you? Yes, this was a very puzzling moment and i gave her my ... please stop it hurts my brain look. She said.. I have an idea, you want to be surprised or want me to tell you. I thought for awhile and said surprise me. I rather like this too. She did a better job than my imagination would have. It took me months to figure out what i wanted to do and all i could come up with was short short short inch long hair. Obviously hair ladies do infact know what they are doing. Or perhaps anyone who eats chick-fil-a does indeed rawk the hair cutting socks. lol.
Unfortunatly i saw someone i did not want to see my hair. Like the great personal secret that my hair is... i did not wish for them to be in on it. They should go die now. That just pissing me off. Its like they came just for the cake at the party. Not a gift or anything. Just lies and a messy plate to clean up at the end. Yes, I see how much you are my friend. Better yet... i enjoy not seeing how much you are my friend. Perhaps the worst friend i ever had. And don't worry, I'm not waiting for you to come over anymore and I'm not worrying how you feel. Perhaps I should be an asshole, being nice never got me too far. Of course realizing that I was a nice person and far better than your horrible ass did infact make me leave you once and for all. You are just a horrible person to me. You do not deserve to see me hair. No.
BAD.
current mood:  dorky (1 comment |comment on this)
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9:43p
And as if breaking my heart and destorying the last happiness I ever had was not enough... torture me with a piece of shit note of being unloved and without my friendship. How low could you possibly go. You did not even have enough guts to tell me. My gosh how hard is it for you to just talk to me. Just leave me there on my doorstep with a note of how horrible you feel and how i do not care. Like you fucking know. You know nothing. You think this journal lets you in on all of my feelings about this shit? It most certainly does not. I cannot believe this. Leave me there. Stir up all of these damn emotions I have still left inside of my itty bruise heart. What? Do you want me to kill myself, because you are doing the best job at making me feel so horrible and sad and completly unhappy. Seriously I am just tired of crying. What do you expect me to do? You do not talk to me for days and just bounce on me like everything is fine. The unresolved issues we had during that hell are still within me. Afraid. Thats all i get from you. "I'm afraid. I was afraid to come over and cried." what the hell are you afraid of? As if i could hate you when you say something. You have said nothing to me for the entire month and I hate you. Such shittiness you have done to me. You are just so selfish. Have you ever thought about how all of this made me feel? How you ever considered for a fact that I did love you and what you did sent me through a loop.
Yes, i am being a person that says one thing and does another. Until you learn to be a human being, I reverse to let you even be near me. Because, you are killing me. I am dying. And you will not stop. You have yet to come over to have our talk. That shows exactly how much you care about the situation. I am tired of the excuses of being afraid and am tired of your carelessness. Get over your deal and your pietiful excuses.
Sadly enough I do care. Hopefully you will just kill me and end this stupid shit.
current mood:  crappy (6 comments |comment on this)
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