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Monday, December 29th, 2003
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8:44 pm
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I am the breath of fresh air you long to inhale.
current mood:  curious
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(comment on this)
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5:46 pm
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I've started to dream again while i'm sleeping. In color, the smells, the emotions, the realness of it all. I wake up and i just want to slap my unconsious for even suggesting such things. I keep dreaming... of her. As if she was just meant to be in my mind, only to haunt the visions of my sleep. I kept kissing her. She kept touching me. I wonder why these visions torture me so. lol... wetdream. lol.
I bought aroma therapy stuff today... i shall use them much... one for relaxation, one for awakeness, and one for "woman power." Yes that is what it says... it claims to cure "the blues", lack of energy, and irritablity. All things that are me today. I'm terribly tired... i have not been sleeping so well. Yes, i guess i do need to school in my life... something that seems to be not in chaos.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, December 28th, 2003
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8:58 pm
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Politics really confuse me sometimes. Also, the people that vote for whom ever in an office do too. So,... my mom's republican... she only votes for republicans. What would happen if she sensed a good vibe from a democrat. Thats what i don't get. Shouldn't we vote for the person, not the group. I have no idea what i'm talking about. I'm just all confused. Of course... you know... i guess, yeah we do have to vote for the group considering one person cannot lead the country. I want to say some really mean things about bush, but i'm not even sure if i know enough to say them. I hear so many stories from the news and people and my family. It's all chaos. I'm not sure, who to be mad at. The president for just being himself or the people, for voting him in? It's not his fault, its the common people's fault. Of course, he might kind of represent the common people... hint hint... the majority of people are not too bright... i have heard. His beliefs on gay people and all the issues surrounding them are um... not cool. The way he insist that they cannot marry their loves could possible represent the common people. It's sad really, knowing theres still so much hate against differences. I watched on the news this jewish kid's car got trashed with all of this shit and the words... kkk... spray painted on it. Really, I sometimes wonder, what kind of world of free speech and religious freedom is this. We have freedom, more than most countries i know that, but we have restrictions. I wish i could say... I am proud to live in the United States... but i do not truely feel that way. If you cannot do what you want here, in the land of the free, than where can you? Canada?
Speaking of Canada... what is in there? The indians of america tried to run away there and we captured them and told them no. We tried to capture Canada itself about 4 times... but we couldn't. What is in Canada thats soo... intriguing? I must learn... off i go.
Ooo the rumbles of my mind. Take them not into offense, they're only my non-treatening opinions.
Also, anyways, gay people should not want to get married... it leds to ruin. Well... thats between opposite sexes... oh whatever. I hate issues.
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, December 27th, 2003
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10:16 pm
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Oh yeah.... well the color of my aura is GOLD! Emode told me so, and they also said this...
We don't need a psychic to tell us that you're giving off a Gold vibe. You couldn't ask for a better color — a glistening gold aura is as good as it gets. A lively blend of yellow and orange, gold people are happy, playful, energetic, sensitive, and generous. Always up for adventure, you'd give a friend in need the shirt off your back. You're spiritual, too — all those halos in old paintings aren't colored gold by coincidence. Almost childlike in the carefree, joyful way you live your life, you're popular and outgoing with your large circle of friends. Chances are you're so full of light and energy that you sometimes find it hard to sit still and chill out. Instead, you're constantly looking for excitement, no matter how risky or impulsive the occasion. Happy-go-lucky and always laughing, you truly are as good as gold.
You are emitting a lovely Green Love ray.
You're clearly most in love with the world. People
are great, but for you, it's what's around you
that really brings the most joy and passion
into your life.
What color of love are you most glowing with?
brought to you by Quizilla
Did i mention that i'm in love with your metallic glow of destruction?
Hot hot heat... they frighten me, yet i'm drawn to their weird sound. It's weird... sounding.
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9:34 pm - Z awesomeness of peter pan
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Peter Pan, the movie, finally saw it. I laughed, made fun of it, cried, and then adored it. yes, i actually cry over sad love-y parts. Indeed, this peter pan was very different from the movie i was brought up watching. Pan's love affair with Wendy was so cute. So, unbelieve-ably cute. She gave him a timble. hee hee. He turned pink. lol. aw. Clearly, you all must see peter pan! Pirates, love, hearkbreakers, mermaids of evil, ladies worth 20 boys, weird chester cat grins, faeries... and oh my gosh that cute little dance peter had with wendy. Oh, i'm in love with peter and wendy's love. Adorable. Fantastic. Utterly Orgasmic. Exciting. Thrilling. Pillage and plunderishly great. Oooo, their love affair made me cry. It was just too cute. But then, of course, like an asshole Peter said that of course the feelings were make-believe, right? We all know where that goes. Poo on him. AWESOME! lol. Real drama lies within faerie tales, obviously. The land called Neverland (not micheal Jackson place... ew) is a real hot spot for some loven. *sigh*
If you haven't seen Peter Pan, go see it. If not for peter's awesome flying skills, then for the sexy pirates or zzzzzz faeries! lol.
No more movie picking for me. I cried all over the place. then i practically peed everywhere from laughing. Me and carmelas side commentary was rather funny. That could be why i liked it so much. Peter pan... the whore of neverland. Wanted to rape wendy... clearly... and then her brother john, but forgot his name. lol. Then, torn by unwantedness, Hook tried to kill pan, because he wanted him and since he was an old man, pan wouldn't have him. Now, the mermaids... the seeds of evil didn't want pan... and he was rather pissed at this, so he hissed at them. The one of the mermaids, being lesbian of course, tried to seductivly pull wendy into the water as she was romantically gazing into her eyes. Yes, indeed. Pan is an equal opportunity employer. aw. amazing. I really enjoyed that movie more than anything i've seen all year. Forget Lord Of The Rings and my cult worshipping them....
I DO BELIEVE IN FAERIES, I DO, I DO!
lol. That was beautiful. *sob* Clearly. hee hee.
Goodnight people. Goodnight. I love you all so very much.
current mood: Insane, duh
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, December 26th, 2003
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8:21 pm - I guess we're not going to no punk rawk show
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MxPx finally going on tour again... and of course, they aren't coming to Virginia. Sometimes, i do hate this state very very very much. I think... i'm giving up on them. On tour with Simple Plan and SugarCult. I enjoy their bouncey music that sends millions into a moshing craze. But NO... they decide not to bring their asses here. AW. Clearly, they MUST die now.
So, besides being heartbroken over MxPx, I hate people that think the only way of communication is... the computer on the im. lol. Er. I've been trying to stop this, and i think i've been fairly good at not using it as a source of communication. Unfortunatly, Carmela left me some sort of message on her away message thing that i got at 7. Of course, she thought i was to call her, but i thought she had gone somewhere with her family. O woe is me. I missed Mr. Peter Pan. Then i called Carmela's cell and things got cleared off, but i'm pretty sure i sounded pissed off. I can just tell when my voice gets all deep and I'm talking with my teeth together... it's never a good thing. lol. I have no control over my emotions and i cannot hide them at all. They're INSANE. lol. Hopefully we shall see peter pan tomorrow and I will call her.
You know.... I have about maybe 1 and a half years left here. I wish my friends would, you know, realize the short time we have left together and just hang out. Technology is surely killing the time we spend together. It makes me sad. Without them, my highschool years would have sucked shit. Well... my highschool years still do, but its more awesome with them around. All of them.
I love you all, as i always will. You are all adorable. I wish to father your childern. *gasps* lol.
current mood:  crazy
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, December 24th, 2003
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9:03 pm
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I have many pin up girl things now. I feel so naughty. Perhaps you should come over... *wink wink* lol. thank you Carmela. Little enchantress.
Michelle is an elf.
I went with Kim to Farm Fresh. She bought food and did i mention she loved her present. She kept saying... I love my Elizabeth, I love her. Hee hee. It was awesome to know she liked it a lot. Really a lot. Yeah. It was fun. I think i keep having candy crashes... it hurts my brain. och. DAMN YOU, YOU WOMAN PROBLEMS. Thats is the ONLY bad part about being a woman. That damn week or two before the.... curse.... it could drive a person to kill! My back hurts... theres a shoting pain and it doesn't feel so lovely. So, clearly i must stab my back and kill it. I'll go do some yoga. yeah.
I have a um... a lot of money at the moment. It's a lot... i have no idea what to do with it. Of course some of it will go to "someone's" birthday present and some will go to seeing PETER PAN. That movie looked lovely... even... splendid. *sigh* I'm a pirate, pin-up girl, penguin obsessed little chica. Indeed, a pirate's life for me. ping-up girls always look so funny and classically beautiful. Hee hee.
So, indeed, carmela came over to give me my presents and she was looking oh so sad. Something is wrong, obviously. She said she'll call later. YOU BETTER CARMELA! lol. really though, she was so happy last time i saw her. It's painful to she her fall and practically tear up before me as she says she doesn't know why she's feeling like this. I don't know, but i really do hope she'll be ok. Being sad on the holidays cannot be such a great a feeling. I love you. Don't be sad. Hopefully we shall see mr Peter Pan together soon. Mr. Peter Pan shall cheer her up if i cannot. lol... mr. peter pan. You all know he's a man whore, right? Oh... well thats what i thought. lol. I really don't know whats wrong. It's beginning to eat into me now. Poo.
It's Christmas Eve! AHH! Merry Christmas everyone, including you mizz glam bug, bessie. Cheer up little chica.
current mood:  loved
current music: Brian Setzer Orchestra - The Nutcracker Suite
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| Tuesday, December 23rd, 2003
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9:04 pm
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I drew a picture of michelle and I. I kind of look asian... i must learn to draw myself. But it looked cute. Michelle is so pretty, if only she'd get over that thought of her being fat. She's not fat. She's just like a 50's pin up girl i believe. lol.
Today... yeah... i just drew everywhere then went out and bought a polka dotted shirt from the gap. Yeah... the gap. In the Collausum (sp) mall the gap is full of all sorts of colors and weird patterens. I want to make sweet sweet passionate love to it. It's like a rainbow there! I'm so tired right now. not really... i think eating all of that candy this morning has made me have a massive crash.
I want to see Peter Pan, theres pirates in that movie. It just looked so cool. Everytime i see the previews i get all girlish like and scream and go... hee hee hee. I called michelle today, on the phone she kept telling me i was odd. She asked why did lesbians like girls that looked like boys. I said it was the emotional aspect. She wanted to know how i could know such a thing. I just do.
Yeah, I'm tired.
Hmm... no, I'm more along the lines of moody and lazy. Damn woman problems. lol. What the hells wrong with me? lol. this is clearly very odd. Hm, on a brighter note, i mailed my christmas cards out to my special people aka becky and letisha. I sent them pictures of me too. They'll love it. lol. I know i like pictures of me. I'm so odd.
Everything is so slow right now. I should finish my homework this week, so next week I can just sit back and dance around .... lol....elvis music.... in little circles.
People... i feel bad. It could be the weather or something else, but i'm not feeling the christmas spirit. Theres no christmas shows on tv. It's like 70 degrees outside. Theres no snow. I have no egg nog. I just don't know... it feels like every other day except with obsessive buying of presents and such. Maybe i should watch the pirate movie... that would surely put me into the mood on christmas. No, not really. It's the weather... i know it is. It was so pretty and springish like outside, not at all like the weather one would expect around christmas. Poo. Maybe i should eat another candy cane. Yeah. I should. hee hee hee.
I'm such the mongoose. I was watching the news and they had a special on how and when to tell your childern that santa isn't real. The man psyhcologist said at about 7 tell them that they are now santa, and its time for them to give presents. I liked that. I am santa. I am some big fat man with a big ol' white beard wearing a red suit directing reindeer from house to house. I'm so happy. Really though, i think that could confuse a child. What? I'm santa? Huh? My mom told me that i came up to her and asked if santa was real. She responded by saying he's the spirit of christmas. yeah... or something like that. You all know that santa is a fae like creature, right? well, he is. I cannot wait until he's spirit like self installs the spirit of christmas in me. Hm.
Here comes santa claus right down santa claus lane.
Feliz Navidad. perspero ano y felizidad.
I wanna wish you a merry christmas from the bottom of my heart!!!!!!!
Happy holidays to you all. Have fun. Love ya.
current mood:  embarrassed
current music: Elvis - White Christmas
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, December 22nd, 2003
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9:48 pm - Love me tender, Love me true
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Ok, so as i was responding to my lovely mizz violets comment i came to some sort of realization that prehaps I am very lighthearted, like a person of fae. Of course, i know, i am insane. lol. Really though, it could explain that when relationships or situations get serious,"hairy", unattractive, not fun, scarey, frightening, boring, the same-ol-same-ol, dark, and um... seem to be not as great as i thought it to be, i tend to perhaps freak out and get depressed and unhappy. As much as i like to complain that i'm alone and have no one to love me or fall in love with... i don't because every relationship type thing i've had turned out to be not so wonderful or ful at all. I think the feelings that come with the falling for someone, are too serious for me. I could be immature, yes i know. I'm apparently not mature enough to handle such a thing as another persons love or heart. I get too into things emotional and then i'm worn out and quit becuase it's boring and never changes.
Also, the people i've been involved with... aren't like me. They tend to wear all black and such... i... am a little colorful to a very full extent. Yes, lets discuss how our clothes are an omen for the horrible realtionship we shall have. lol. Really though... I don't think i fall for the right people. I'm usually a very happy and hyper person, i just am attracted to and attract sad people. Of course, perhaps this is all i know. Half of my family are depressed and the other half are on anti-depressants. I could say, that besides being a very moody teenager, I'm the happiest person in the family. I get sad too... but not everyday or not for long periods of time, unless something dramatic happens to me.
So, this relationship thing, obviously not for me. I fully realized this when carmela came over and i don't know... i enjoyed her more than ever. Either it was because she was happy or because of something unseen. I haven't had fun with carmela in a long time. I love her more as a friend. I was so happy and thrilled i even gave her a kiss on the cheek before she left to cross the road. lol. It's insane. Of course she said that she was mad that now i gave her a kiss, but she said it nicely. Clearly, me and carmela are made to be friends. I couldn't imagine her not in my life. I believe we shall many happy days ahead together as friends.
So, like an elvish, fae person, i hate anything that causes distress and sadness to my life. Even like them, perhaps i could die in the pressence of real pain and sorrow. OOoo. I'm fickled. Obviously, lighthearted. I'm air. I run around giggling and dancing in little faerie circles. I'm meant to come into your life and shed light upon you, but you cannot capture me. I was meant to roam free, to fly. To cage me would surely kill me. I can be your friend. I love very lightly. I need to find someone out in the wide world that loves as i do. Someone to have fun with that doesn't being me down. I need to fall for someone happy and as weird as i. I must go on a search for my faerie queen, when i'm ready, but i'll be looking for her.... are you her?
My mom... she keeps saying she'd rather be a lesbian than marry another man (my father still lives with us and yes, they are married, but they don't sleep together. She doesn't like him... i don't either... I hate half of myself then.) Yes, and then today she said she had a dream about being a lesbian. I'm concerned and um... feel very odd about this whole thing. It makes me laugh though. Hee hee. Mother is oddly odd.
By the way... i have a strange um... dream. I want my nipples pierced. I told mother and she asked if i was into s&m. That is indeed a good question. Am i? I don't think so... but i just want my nipples pierced. Unfortunatly... i have common sense. damn. I do want a tattoo though. Something tells me... i shall be a very odd person when i actually get of age.
Ok... to summarize what i learned about myself...
I'm lighthearted
I need to fall for someone similiar to me (aka... insane lol)
I'm a faery...
I hate seriousness and sad things
I'm immature (as all of my family is)
I want pierced nipples because they'd be fun to play with... hee hee.
lol. Goodnight everyone. Love ya! Happy holidays!
current mood: Gigglish and tastily sweet
current music: The START - Glimmer Man
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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5:40 pm
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I'm having a weird feeling or am experiencing a weird feeling. I want some chicken. I should have gotten up today, but i did not. I relaxed completly with tv and mizz cat. I watched the 50 greatest women in the era on vh1 and enjoyed it much. I'm going to draw a penguin now...
current mood:  lazy
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, December 20th, 2003
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10:06 pm
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Hee hee hee!
Yes, my birthday party has come and gone. I had a blast, of course, with michelle, kaitlin, and jessica. I took pictures with my new polirad (sp) camera. I was very striped. If i ever figure out how to post pictures on this thing, i must show you all my magnificent mohawk with flowers. I got very strage looks all day from it and my ap history teacher asked what happened to my hair and i said... it's my birthday. lol. I must admit, i enjoyed being stared at, being the strange things in advanced classes. Weird people with mohawks are smart too... though they are fickled and ditsy at times. But anyways, back to my birthday thing... it was fun. I can't even describe it. It was just fun. I laughed and had orgasms everytime i opened a present. I also peed on kaitlin... mentally. We all saw it coming. So... i got presents, right... well here they are...
From darling kaitlin, i received, a mix cd full of awesome music with a cover of me as a pirate she drew. (i dyed when i saw it and thats when i peed on her). The card she gave me was actually a poster board of stuff that I'm about... like green and mxpx lyrics. lol. I love green. I love kaitlin even more so after this. I must keep her around for next christmas. lol.
Michelle gave me many penguin things. A penguin top and panties. A chilly willy sports bottle with chilly willy himself standing on it. A walking and talking penguin that now chases my cat. (hee hee) a regular beany baby penguin (i have 2 of him now). The mary poppins penguin on this mcdanold toy. A card with a farting bear. I think thats it. She always gets me a lot of things with penguins. She rawks my lesbian striped socks too. lol. I love her much so.
JEssica gave me hers at school because she was suppose to go away, but she did not and that was awesome. She gave me a book to draw in and as soon as i got it i started to draw in it. lol. I got colored pencils, always good. And she printed out some pictures of CARD CAPTURES for me. lol. go away. YEAH! WE ALL LOVE JESSICA!!!!!!!!!
Kim wasn't there but she got me socks.
Sara gave me candy and wished me happy birthday.
Helen gave me a magnet with a very distressed woman tied up in ropes on a train track with a train coming. Sexy beastie.
Erin gave me a chocolate orange ball. She didn't know i hate chocolate... but i just smiled and said awesome.
Everyone gave me candy! lol. I love everyone.
Carmela... lol... our favorite person... never talked to me, never came by, never called me to wish me happy birthday, and i doubt if she tried. Surprisingly sara who lives in new york did call me to just talk and wished me happy birthday when i said it was my birthday. It's so funny, i like lose a friend every 2 years. But it's so funny, because they always seem like such mean people at times. SO carmela thinks i'm mad at her again. Perhaps this time i am. Anyone that doesn't say happy birthday to me that goes to my school, lives like 5 walking minutes away from me, was at one point my love interest, and is my "friend"... is not cool. Thats like my parents walking around wondering who i am and why am i in the kitchen eating their food. I don't understand. I really don't. But that just completly sucked ass that she did that. That was horrible. Mean, rude. Shitty. My gosh. I have her present here and everything. It's such a shame. You know, i really did think carmela was a wonderful person even though we went through all of that shit. I really did. Now... we'll find out when i have a rant about it. bastard.
MY birthday did rawk though. Ballons, laughing, pictures, peeing, cake eating, pizza, talking, just had an awesome time. It was cool that jessica and michelle have a lot in common. I could tell jessica was amazed. The things we talked about we kind of funny, but sometimes it was serious... and funny. odd stuff. Jessica had her rant about kristina and said lets go vandelize her house and then i think michelle said lets go vandalize carmela's house. lol. But we didn't. Unfortunately I was not really born with a cruel bone, but it's growing. errrr. That just pisses me. o, I'll get over it. Finally, i can say i'm over her too. Way over her. An important day in my life and you just act like it doesn't exist... whats wrong with you? It's weird that all my friends understand, and i don't. I will someday. I'll understand something about all this.
Thank you ever one for an awesome, orgasmic birthday! Thank you little journal friends that said happy birthday! ViOlet, mizz glam bug thank you mucho! I love you all. aw
the now not 16 year old, insane, interpret dancer that loves and adores you all,
Elizabeth / Claire
by the way... for fun....
How Soon Is Now: You know what's going on with your
life and others around you. You know when to
tell them to stop and when you've had enough.
You are in touch with nature as well as mind
and soul.
()()()() WHICH t.A.T.u. (tatu) Song Are You? (awsome pictures) ()()()()
brought to you by Quizilla
current mood:  crappy
current music: Swing babah, swing
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, December 18th, 2003
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7:33 pm
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AHHHHHHHHHHH! Birthday for me tomorrow! Pirates and hula girls! *romatic sigh* HEE HEE HEE HEE.
Yes, i have just recieved 20 dollars from my dad's brother... nice to know that NOW they decide to take part in my life when i'm almost GONE! ... weirdo...
Michelle is still distressing me. Perhaps i worry over nothing, but i don't like the fact that she gets drunk so often. why worry, i do it all the time, why worry. It's killing me, forget about it. hee hee. Just quoted AAR there. Oh gosh, i'm clearly insane.
I was doing my ap history project of something about a writer and sembled across the prettiest poems. My new lover is... Ralph Waldo Emerson. lets read my favorite of his poems... i read only 2 so far.
To Rhea
THEE, dear friend, a brother soothes,
Not with flatteries, but truths,
Which tarnish not, but purify
To light which dims the morning's eye.
I have come from the spring-woods,
From the fragrant solitudes;—
Listen what the poplar-tree
And murmuring waters counselled me.
If with love thy heart has burned;
If thy love is unreturned;
Hide thy grief within thy breast,
Though it tear thee unexpressed;
For when love has once departed
From the eyes of the false-hearted,
And one by one has torn off quite
The bandages of purple light;
Though thou wert the loveliest
Form the soul had ever dressed,
Thou shalt seem, in each reply,
A vixen to his altered eye;
Thy softest pleadings seem too bold,
Thy praying lute will seem to scold;
Though thou kept the straightest road,
Yet thou errest far and broad.
But thou shalt do as do the gods
In their cloudless periods;
For of this lore be thou sure,—
Though thou forget, the gods, secure,
Forget never their command,
But make the statute of this land.
As they lead, so follow all,
Ever have done, ever shall.
Warning to the blind and deaf,
'T is written on the iron leaf,
Who drinks of Cupid's nectar cup
Loveth downward, and not up;
He who loves, of gods or men,
Shall not by the same be loved again;
His sweetheart's idolatry
Falls, in turn, a new degree.
When a god is once beguiled
By beauty of a mortal child
And by her radiant youth delighted,
He is not fooled, but warily knoweth
His love shall never be requited.
And thus the wise Immortal doeth,—
'T is his study and delight
To bless that creature day and night;
From all evils to defend her;
In her lap to pour all splendor;
To ransack earth for riches rare,
And fetch her stars to deck her hair:
He mixes music with her thoughts,
And saddens her with heavenly doubts:
All grace, all good his great heart knows,
Profuse in love, the king bestows,
Saying, 'Hearken! Earth, Sea, Air!
This monument of my despair
Build I to the All-Good, All-Fair.
Not for a private good,
But I, from my beatitude,
Albeit scorned as none was scorned,
Adorn her as was none adorned.
I make this maiden an ensample
To Nature, through her kingdoms ample,
Whereby to model newer races,
Statelier forms and fairer faces;
To carry man to new degrees
Of power and of comeliness.
These presents be the hostages
Which I pawn for my release.
See to thyself, O Universe!
Thou art better, and not worse.'—
And the god, having given all,
Is freed forever from his thrall.
I understand it and i like it. How amazing is that? lol
well world, next time we meet i shall be another year older, another year "wiser", another year to live amazingly, another year stronger, another year for AWESOME CONERTS!, another year to love, another year to hate, another year for crying, another year to learn. Hee hee. I'm so old. Yet still... oh so sexy. *wink wink* Oh so what if i'm a little too into myself? I like me. I think i'm interestingly odd. Yet sexy. lol. No, not really. But i do believe myself to be oddly cute.
Love you!
current mood:  creative
current music: AP history is all i need!
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, December 17th, 2003
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5:14 pm
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Only 2 more days until my birthday and my hawaiian themed birthday party!!!! (leave it up to me to be thinkinng about hawaiian themed parties in the dead of winter) lol. Orgasms EVERYWHERE! I love my birthday, and I'm sure all of you do too... because without it... there would be no... me.
I love love love love love everyone! I shall give everyone kisses upon their noses and wish them a very merry christmas or whatever they be celebrating. I'm so happy. I'm soooooo completely thrilled. I'm in love with the world and this winter wonderland. I love life. I'm in a loving mood right now, as i was yesturday and the day before. All this month I have been so happy. But, oh my, what is this is a false illusion of happiness? Sometimes i think that happens. Oh, but i enjoy this, even if it is not real. I love you! You are so rawking my world right now. yes of course i mean you. Silly.
I stayed after today with kim in z history room with erin also. When we left... i got to see the SEAGULLS SOMEONE RAN OVER. lol. Holly crap my panties. It was disgusting. They were like, the whole bird all sqashed and wet and dead. ew. There was like 7 of them... dead, moist, gray, and with little timy yellow feet still attached. I saw their brains. I'll never look at a seagull the same again. Of course, you do know that who ever did it, is certainly going to hell. What kind of person in their RIGHT mind would run over a bunch of seagulls? Yes, i know they are annoying, but it's like killing an annoying human... 7 of them... really small flightfull humans, with little yellow feet. Ok, so after being horrified by these sights of dead birds...ew... we dropped erin off and went to the mall. By the way Erin said i was looking cute today. hee hee. and then she said, but i always look cute. hee hee again. lol. And then i touched her with kim's toothbrush. Kim also said funny things today... like... i have a nice butt. I feel so flattered! lol. Straight girls just brighten up my day with interesting comments. And... my butt is nice and i was looking awesomely today. lol. I'm so giddy.
Fiesta en clase de espanol! yes! I love that class when i don't have to learn about things that aare spanish, besides learning songs, dances, and eating their food.
Hee hee. Tomorrow is thruday. Such a sexy day and one day before my birthday. lol.
O, mizz carmela gave me a hug in the hall today. weeeee. I love her. I must ask her if she still wants to perhaps come to my party. I wanted her to... but she thinks she'll ruin it. I assure you no one, but my parents, could ruin my party or my happiess. Of course... if no one showed up for my party... then that would suck. Aw... I'm scared now. lol. Poo.
Michelle is obviously insane. Forgot my birthday party was friday and asked when she was to come over tuesday... why would i have a party on tuesday? That angered me a bit. Also, for the fact that she said she got drunk to make her cold stop hurting disstressed me a little. Maybe it's people's stupidy that angers me. Because of course... getting drunk to ignore the signs of a cold or flu just makes it go away. You can't ignore things... it's like trying to tune out your body. Tist tist. People these days. Thinking every problem can be solved by drugs (illegal and legal) and alcohol and other various things. I just don't know. That makes me sad.
Goodbye lovely star gazers. Have fun with wintry goodness and fortune cookies. *kisses*
current mood:  bouncy
current music: Gloria Gaynor - I will survive
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| Monday, December 15th, 2003
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10:00 pm
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I have an obvious obsession with mexicans... *queal*
Today was just pure awesomeness. A sub. in spanish and non-stop talking to kailtin about farting and various other random insane topics instead of learning ugly spanishy things. WEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Only 3 more days of school after tomorrow. 2 more projects to go and 2 more test to go. Icky.
I am running off of an hour of sleep. I stayed up doing my spanish project which we ended up not having to turn in today. My brain is fried. Funny thing though... i was extremely jumpy and happy all day long. I want sleep now......................................
Because cassie insist.. i shall do my physics project instead of sleep.
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| Saturday, December 13th, 2003
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8:02 pm
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Just for kixks.........
Your soul is bound to the Rose Bud: The
Naive.
"I keep all of my secrets somewhere inside
and though I haven't let myself shine to the
world, I'm good for something but too good to
give to you."
The Rose Bud is associated with innocence,
curiosity, and confidence. It is governed by
the god Cupid and its sign is The Dewdrop, or
Puppy Love.
As a Rose Bud, you may have grand ideas about love
and you may well be inexperienced. You tend to
be optomistic, idealistic, and curious, but
it's just because you like being a positive
person. You also may have high thoughts of
yourself, and can come off a bit conceited, but
it's just a mask to hide your lack of
experience.
What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
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yes yes.... i already knew that. I'm naive and innocent... yes i already know.
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7:07 pm
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With words that I can not speak, these songs shall strum upon my heart and confess all...
Yes, it is true. I shall be another year older next Friday. Indeed. Lucky 17. Lately all of my heart has been into this story i wanted to write for someone. Theres so many ways to begin it, so many ways to end it... like life.
I'm drained.
Falling deeper into an unknown realm.
Chashing mongooses.
Watching angels fly by.
Hearing sorrow swell in my eyes.
Dancing upon posionious frogs.
Kissing winds, hoping to find her.
Finding a path to get lost within.
Drawing visions of distorted princesses.
Dreaming in color with captions.
Always... Always... falling.
Went to z mall today. Worked on my birthday invitations of my pirate themed party. Got presents. Lip sang to every cd i own. Played a confession of my love for you on my galaxy of jupiter.
Such a green mist this night, such a deathly cold surrounds my heart, such an enchantment you place upon my mind. Torture me with those visions and ripples you send through my blood. Drink all of me. Be drunk with my taste. With my blood touching your lips and your named tattooed across my heart, will you finally believe that you did destroy me. I'm in a mood of changing, in a thought of choas. My mind is racing. It runs far from me. I run far from you.
Sometimes... i swear... i need to get out more. I think way toooooo much. I'm feeling nothing and am making myself try to feel something. Maybe i need to stay in more.
My Birthday day is FRIDAY! Lucky Lucky Lucky 17. Even though i resemble a youthful 12 year old. Poooo.
current mood: I HATE POPUPS!
current music: Tegan and Sara - Don't Confess
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| Wednesday, December 10th, 2003
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3:54 pm - *orgasm* *die* *twitch* *twitch*
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I love me Letisha! Weee! I miss her so much and she finally responded to my e-mail. Oh, my lovely little letisha. She seems so busy now in Georgia. I must send her my ring dance picture... because of course she doesn't know i have blonde hair or that my hair is super short or that i actually wore a dress. lol. Ah, the excitment i cannot contain. I must make something special for her for Christmas. If you must know... Letisha is my buddy ol' pal from years long ago. In about 7th grade I constantly talked to her on the phone... our longest phone conversation was from 10am to about 10pm... so like 12 hours. I stayed home alone a lot when i was younger... hee hee hee, but it never dawned on me to actually do anything besides hw and watch tv and read. Odd. Anyways, she moved to Georgia in 9th grade and i was so sad. During 9th grade, also I lost contact with her except during the beginning of the year I would walk her to her class after lunch. lol. I am odd. Gosh... i miss her and love her so! Everytime i do something that is "odd" to me... i always think of her and how much i would kill to tell her face to face of my craziness.
Yes... I apparently went to school today. I got that little 9th grader to help me with all of my drawings in that damn class that pisses me off now. I can't measure anything to save my life. poo. But yes, she helped me a lot and she is quite funny. I must go to z play and laugh at her funniness. Then i went to English and drew random pictures as i tried to take notes. I drew scarey pictures. The stuff thats in my brian is not meant to be seen. I think i scared sarah. Physics sucked... ashley is getting on my nerves and that class irrates me. I hate science. Let it burn in hell!!!!!!!! no, not really. Math was awesome... suprisingly. I will never say that again. OOO... the cockroaches banged on the door and were laughing at us. Menchville... the roach capital of the world.
...I'm such a mess, but I hide it well...
I got my birthday cds, if i didn't mention before hand. Fabulous Disaster, The Flipsides, and Tegan and Sara. Don't asked what prevoked me to ask for Tegan and Sara... but i'm enjoying it... I haven't listened to it fully yet... but i'm enjoying it.
Birthday Party at my house! hee hee hee. Come one and all to me little birthday jig. Country Fried Chicken, Cake, Pirates of the Caribbean, Fabulous Disaster, Candy Canes, and Polarid Pictures! AHHHH! I'm a dork. aw. Yes. I still have yet to know who i shall invite. Wanna come? It's the 19th of December... 9 days!!! *orgasm* *dies*
Love you all.
current mood:  cheerful
current music: Fabulous Disaster - Pain Kill Her
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| Tuesday, December 9th, 2003
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4:56 pm
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| Saturday, December 6th, 2003
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10:27 pm - Ich my allergic to fungus growing in my school eye
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 You are pink. You are in limbo. Not pure and manipulated like white, not impure and noble like red. You are unsure of your real identity, but whatever you chose it to be, you can be it. That is your power. You change everyone you touch, and everyone remembers you. In literature, pink represents the place between heaven and hell. You are the one we will never forget. What inner color are you?
I'm...*singing* unforgettable.....lol. I'm gonna be quiet now. shh.
You are a freeform writer. Individualistic with a
sense for the different and challenging, Walt
Whitman and his poetry lacking meter and rhyme
is just what the doctor ordered. You're quick
to write something that the rest of the world
doesn't accept as poetry, quick to separate
yourself from the average joe. An author with a
true sense of self, you have confidence in your
abilities and aren't afraid to show it. :) GO
YOU!
What's YOUR Writing Style?
brought to you by Quizilla
Ok.....
find your element
at mutedfaith.com.
Holding a grudge longer than i say i do... heh... *cough cough* I think perhaps i do, but not as long as my mother does. She's still pissed over my accidently dying my hair pin with that spray stuff that was SUPPOSE to come out. Don't put that stuff on bleached hair kids. It stays in. damn.
Pondering....you can't seem to keep your mind on
immediate issues....hey does the light really
turn off?
What JTHM moment are you?
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I knew I thought too much.
Mummy bought a new car today. It's red. It doesn't make the scarey sound that her old car did and it doesn't make me want to vomit when I'm sitting in it. I can also listening to my lovey NFG while speeding down the road being yelled out because I always have the last word in. Yes, apparently trips to see christmas lights in hampton + me driving = fight over my driving skills. What? Mother makes a comment about that i don't drive good (i think i do for my experience) and I must defend myself. What do you expect? For me to just sit there and take that crap. Hell no. I'll attack you for your bad driving skills. Speeding tickets in the same place more than once? I think that was you. ah ha ha ha ha. Rawr. I need to do my history, math, physics, and spanish homework. Off i go... at 11:05 pm saturday night. Um... yeah.
I think i'm bitter today... lol. It makes me laugh. Poo. It's also very cold at the moment. And my toe is sleeping. aw.
current mood: crazy
current music: Something Corporate - Konstantine
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| Friday, December 5th, 2003
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11:04 pm - so sorry so
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It's honestly ok. I'm sorry you're super depressed now. I don't know what i want to do anout this, but before i actually decide on anything for certain, we do need our talk. If anyone of us ends up crying, so be it. Things need to be said and said they must be. No matter how horrible, how torturous, how stupid, how sad they are. I actually have a basic idea of what is needed to be said on my part. If you need to say anything to me about this... then please do in our little discussion. Sometime next week (this monday or tuesday or wednesday or whenever before next weekend) we should have it. God this feels stupid. I'm sorry things didn't go so great. Sorry if I gave up so soon or if I let you down. Sorry you had no hope from the very beginning that it would work. Sorry you think you have nothing to believe in anymore. I'm sorry you want to die more than ever because I'm fickled and broke your heart. As much pain as we caused to each other during that time, I would think that we'd be better off not being together or more than friends. I won't forget you and what you did actually teach me.
Bye bye my little carmela and be happy for once.
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