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[19 Feb 2009|08:18am] |
i baked my first cake yesterday!
actually not my first - i have not baked in ages.
next week i am making cookies. hohoho.
people who see me everyday say i'm getting maternal or rather ladylike. i am a lady ma! and i do enjoy baking and cooking :P
baking is therapeutic for me, so is cooking. i get to stay silent and just watch the food sizzle. my mind gets some rest too.
i'm still missing but i refuse to do anything about it.
i'll just let it eat me up. pain is good. you know you are still alive.
i've been dreaming a lot of late - which is rare. what do i really want?
i don't know and i care even less. i'll just let my heart lead me.
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| me eating |
[19 Feb 2009|09:20pm] |
i'm seeing ribs so i figure i better eat. heck, it rhymes!
cooked cous cous with mushrooms and broccoli. all my favourites :) dad made me chin chow also. so nice.
i'm not feeling fine so i keep coming back to write. super random stuff.
well, mum called from india to ask if i'm happy about starting school in july. she also told me that they've arranged some huge VIP room in india for her to stay and they've even got 3 servants to attend to her. she even lamented that she'll come back rolly-polly.
glad she's enjoying. when i told her to not come back in anger during a heated argument last month, i somehow do not feel like reclaiming my words. instead of struggling so hard to stay afloat, i'm sure she'd enjoy so much more in india. me and jayne can well manage the household. okay, if you disregard the amount of dust in the house right now.
so as i finish my meal, i feel the food quietly sitting in a corner of my tortured stomach.
it's really strange how someone who's only stepped into your life briefly can affect you so much. is it a psychological thing or just some physical longing to be close with the person again?
oh another random thing - if you guys see M&Ms peanut butter fillings, you should try it. yum!
just this week alone, i have at least 3 people telling me to OPEN UP, STOP WORRYING, JUST ENJOY YOUR LIFE.
ok i got it!
hey you know what, my rash is coming back less. maybe i'm finally outgrowing it. or i'm less stressed cos doctor says its attributed to stress. or it's cos i've increased the number of times i smoke in a day. or it's cos i drink more regularly. whatever. i think i'm doing something right.
oh and i told mel. no guys to love, i can still love my friends. :)
i feel like cooking for you all. provided you don't mind it being meatless. and now that i start baking, you guys will get treats every now and then!
ciao....guitar time!
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| fragile - NIN |
[19 Feb 2009|10:11pm] |
She shines
In a world full of ugliness
She matters
When everything is meaningless
Fragile
She doesnt see her beauty
She tries to get away
Sometimes
Its just that nothing seems worth saving
I cant watch her slip away
I wont let you fall apart
She reads the minds of all the people as they pass her by
Hoping someone can see
If I could fix myself id-
But its too late for me
I wont let you fall apart
Well find the perfect place to go where we can run and hide
Ill build a wall and we can keep them on the other side
But they keep waiting
And picking
Its something I have to do
I was there, too
Before everything else
I was like you
lovely.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFCNEfd9mQ8&feature=related
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