| it's a rainy day |
[24 Jun 2009|03:43pm] |
i'm cold
i'm hungry
i'm tired
i'm not seeing well
i'm shaking inside
what a perfect person for this lovely rainy day.
i would like to garland you with a necklace threaded with my tears. i would like you to feel how heavy it is. but i'm sure you feel the same way too.
|
|
| quit talking |
[22 Jun 2009|09:02am] |
talk is too damn cheap
show me what needs to be done instead
i can't stress this enough can i?
if i suppress any longer i may just burst.
keeping it in check now.
still wondering how one start painting so many pictures at one go, and not realise that the paint may not be enough to complete all the works?
strange.
|
|
| mee day |
[19 Jun 2009|02:24pm] |
after trying for a week, we finally made it to the kopitiam on time.
i had mee tai bak. awesome stuff - full marks for the fried onion pieces.
for lunch, as usual it's friday. fridays are for mee soto.
a tad too oily. but equally amazing :)
for dinner, a trip down to bugis must always end at fortune centre. every time i crave for something warm, it's the vegetarian fish head bee hoon (made of deep fried seaweed balls) i lust after.
3 meals of mee.
|
|
|
[17 Jun 2009|01:34pm] |
how come the words and actions don't quite match?
i think i should speak out less. it may work against me if i say further.
i'm just very confused.
i may just choose to let it flow through my ears.
i am slowly disbelieving again.
|
|
| it's friday! |
[12 Jun 2009|02:18pm] |
every week there's a friday.
but i'm not sure why i'm so excited today.
maybe it's cos i've always liked the idea of travelling. especially friends and me love. oh not forgetting the ramly burgers i'd be stuffing myself with. not to forget the endless smoking as well :)
now i'm clearing the clutter on my desk...filing them away! feels so good to see everything in their place. if only my bedroom is this clutter-free :(
this weekend is for fun and rest. when we get home, we're gonna start revamping our den again.
have fun u guys!
|
|
| mad world. |
[05 Jun 2009|03:21am] |
i can't help looping this
this song is drawing me like some of the songs i loop daily for months.
i just found it..i'm sure many of you must know this.
i dunno how to describe the feel of this song...i wish i can come up with something like this.
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Goin' nowhere, goin' nowhere
Their tears are fillin' up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world
Children waitin' for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sits and listen, sits and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world
A raunchy young world
Mad world
|
|
| impatience |
[01 Jun 2009|08:06am] |
there's this desire in me to put everything back to where it used to be.
maybe it's this major shift in my life.
this fucking impatience to get everything moving.
i'm scared because i don't even like the songs that i write anymore.
makes me just wanna burn everything up.
what if this is the end of it all?
somehow, even i feel that nobody is interested anymore. the second voice in my head tells me that people are no longer interested. they are just being diplomatic.
i'm a little confused.
a little muddled.
and fuck, i think i'm a lousy yoga teacher. my classes have been cancelled twice in a row (haha!). so much for wanting to go into it full time.
i am looking for a baseball bat now. i wanna whack everything out that i do not like to see. that includes myself.
beating myself into pulp will not be an easy task though.
|
|
| my neighbour |
[26 May 2009|01:15pm] |
just yesterday i told mr neon noise that an old lady got crushed by a reversing trailer just near my house.
i got more details of it today from my "inquisitive" mum - who is soon getting initiated into the market aunty's club.
turns out the lady is my neighbour. she walks with a limp so she couldn't have escaped fast enough.
if i didn't hear correctly, her body was broken right up to the neck. or her head is totally smashed.
such a horrible way to leave for such a sweet old lady. she shared soil with me when my cactus was dying. she allowed me to cut some of her pandan / curry leaves whenever our kitchen ran out of them; i got lime from her too.
now that i know it's her, i feel like crying. i was probably one of the last few to have said bye-bye to her that morning :(
|
|
| mixed |
[26 May 2009|12:53pm] |
|
angry, disappointed, sad.
|
|
| still |
[20 May 2009|08:50am] |
i keep sleeping and each day i sleep earlier than before.
i just don't feel like doing anything or saying anything, and perhaps, even fighting anything.
i just stay silent and watch.
there's some kind of tired, and rejuvenating going on. so strange. lol.
|
|
| heng ah.... |
[05 May 2009|10:55am] |
i thought it'd never come. then boss handed me the letter...
MY BONUS AH!!!!!!
the amount inside is very pleasing to my eyes too. i can pay in full for my school fees liao...together with my loan of course.
i don't have to worry anymore!
*puts on hula skirt and starts shaking hips.
|
|
| ho ho ho ho |
[29 Apr 2009|10:30am] |
was lamenting this morning that my life would be tough shit just surviving on $200 each month.
then.....the unexpected phone call came!
had spoken to this lady from dbs couple of weeks earlier. they were looking for a yoga teacher - someone who wouldn't charge them the sky in fact. and someone recommended me.
so yeah they're hiring me at $70 per session which is a tad low but definitely very helpful in enhancing my quality of life, and very useful for buying textbooks!
so am very very happy.
*looking forward to tioman with reg next weekend :)
|
|
| snapping around |
[22 Apr 2009|05:58am] |
never learnt how to use those dslr type of cameras
so mr r brought me and taught me how to use them
some of the shots we got while out snapping:
i quite like this as well
a tad too plasticky for my liking
damn! lol. cannot draw straight line..take photo also the same.
me getting purplish
|
|
| for the curious |
[21 Apr 2009|05:15am] |
nah! you wanna know who he is. here's how he looks like :
okie. that's very kiam pah. lol.
let me get a shot first.
|
|
| what if? |
[20 Apr 2009|03:49pm] |
ok those who know already know.
and i haven't been this happy in a very fucking long time! lol.
however, i can't help but feel afraid that whilst i'm gradually getting accustomed to this happiness thingy, my wings get plucked off and i fall down from heaven.
it somehow seems too good to be true.
somebody tell me i'm dreaming please.
|
|
| my hands are warm |
[15 Apr 2009|02:15pm] |
loads of orange juice
strawberry pocky
never hungry
weekend getaways
snapping colored lights
lazing around
dozing off
|
|
| this game |
[06 Apr 2009|08:19am] |
in a game, there are winners, and definitely losers.
i never ever wanted to be a loser. but i have lost my fair share of times.
now the thing is to learn how to concentrate on the game, and possibly enjoy myself.
this, i am currently doing. but what i'm concerned about is how the loser will feel. i'm so used to losing that it probably will just scratch me and i'll be walking again in a week.
hahah maybe i'm thinking too much again. i should care-less.
today, i surprisinhly woke up early and made myself a huge-ass pasta lunch. slurp! can't wait to gobble it down now.
oh, and i didn't mention. i've got a couple of friends down from india. it's just so strange. everytime i see my teachers i just drop everything and want to be with them. i suppose it's just like wanting to be with your best friends. compared to (i really shouldn't compare) the more mature spiritual teachers i've come across, this group is in their late 20s just like me. it's just too cool talking crap, eating and hanging out. i really miss india.
air tickets are just 180 now, inclusive of tax! but my stay there will cost USD400. i hope USD plunges in october. then i can go. the other alternative plan, as conveyed to my mum by my teachers, is to go stay there for 3 months after i'm done with my degree.
i can't wait!!! i'd love to travel around india with the gang!!!
but before that, it's tioman again for me in may :P i just love love love the place, but only for short periods.
take care y'all.
loads of love.
|
|
| spend money again |
[01 Apr 2009|10:57am] |
it's just the start of april.
got a wedding and a baby shower.
i'm still short of 1.5k for my school fees. i'm also not sure how much my bonus is. oh oh oh oh oh.
|
|
| wahhh |
[26 Mar 2009|10:22pm] |
just went to school today and signed 3 years of my life away.
lol.
and at that i pushed a cheque for $12k over the counter....and i still have to cough up another $7.5k by july. how that is possible remains to be seen.
which means after i return from tioman, it's back to my low budget days. i'm forsaking india as well. unless...a miracle happens :)
between 2-4 modules per semester. at least 2-4 lessons per week. one semester is 4 months.
i may have to wear my red underwear outside my pants. wait...i need to spend money to buy red undies too.
oh and not forgetting 3 weeks in UK at the end of it all. and if god allows, i'll raid some corners in europe as well.
not gonna think of how to dig out cash till i'm down salting my skin.
tioman here i come! *splash!!!
|
|
| midweek |
[25 Mar 2009|08:04am] |
so fast! in a blink of an eye it's nearing friday.
yipeeee!! tioman here i come!
(picture me splashing around in neon bikini, with a float around my waist)
(running away from butterflies also can)
i've noticed a change...ah..i change all the time anyway. this year, i'm just relaxing and doing whatever i feel like. not worrying too much about cash and all. just flowing and knowing that things will take care of themselves, and all i need to do is enjoy :)
i wouldn't have spent my money like that previously. i'd have thought it to be frivolous. but money is meant to be spent and even if i save, it'd be gone. so i'm treating myself to a long overdue retreat in india again! I MISS THAT PLACE SO MUCH. you have to experience it to understand.
the money i've blown so far on treats for myself can easily pay an instalment at school. can be earned back wan la! i'm still saving whatever i have left.
work is picking up and i'm glad cos it means i may still get a decent bonus next year. it's pretty stressful cos i'm taking on new tasks..AGAIN! but i like it. i get to put what i learnt in school to use. oh and the siao chabor - well, it's just reduced to the occassional taunting these days. i guess she's realised that she's totally powerless against me. i feel like i'm stepping on her head and spitting on it these days too. makes me feel pretty good :P
music wise, i'm pretty much running out of ideas. too distracted so i'm ignoring every thing.
i just took a peek in my cupboard last night. tonnes of toys left untouched. the mouldy ds lite, that box of crayons and sketch book, my new camera....alll forsaken cos of the evil internet. am wondering if i should bring my toys to tioman. but i'll risk having them trampled upon by the monkeys i'm going with. maybe just the sketch book.
powers are back you know, just not willing to quieten down and let them show me what i've got. soon. perhaps in india.
ciao peeps! i'll bring back some of the sea.
|
|
