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Blurty for Angela.
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| Saturday, June 26th, 2004 |
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From Go-Quiz.com
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| So today hopefully i am going to Loris house until the 4th ... hopefully ... nina is gone for a whole month and i dont know what the hell im going to do without my little one ... i miss lori i am just hoping that Margie (loris sis) will come get me cause otherwise i am taking my happy ass on a bus all the way to lake elsinore ... i am going to see so many people on the 4th that i havent seen in like forever and a day ... people like swiss ... i miss swiss so much i havent seen her in 2 years ... wow thats such a long time for me ... god i love this song that i am listening to ... its mama coleens song from her kids ... i am such a dork i stayed up till 3am doing laundry so i have clothes for the week ... i painted my nails and took a loooooong shower and cleaned my dirty ass room and then my laundry was done so i went to bed ... when i woke up i called lori to find out if travis's friend ruben was going to come get me and he had already left to come home ... i was sad cause that was like my only ride there ... but then lori said she woud ask margie so i am just waiting for her to get home and call me to tell me what she said ... lets all cross our fingers ... well i am going to go get dressed ... <3 Angie Pants | ||||||||
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| Thursday, June 24th, 2004 |
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so i like wrote in here forever and a day ago ... i miss writing in my blurty its so sad that i havent written ... i have had so much going on lately that i havent realied how quickly time has flown by ... i dropped out of school i dont know if i said that a while ago but yes that is what i did and i still dont have my lazy ass a job ... things between lori and i got bumpy but were doing great now ... we broke up for one whole night and all i did was cry like a fucking baby ... the whole reason i broke up with my baby is the one person i would never leave her for and i did ... but i dont love him and i dont ever want to be with him ... i did it for nina but i couldnt stand being so miserable and i couldnt stand seeing the one girl i would want to spend the rest of my life with so sad ... i am so sorry for what i did to her and i swear on my child i will never ever hurt her like that again EVER ... i am going to go get my license and i am going to be able to get my gf then ... i wont have to bum a ride from everyone else then ... i hate asking people to take me places and i hate having to ask people to go get my gf ... i am in the process of looking for a job so i can get the hell out of here ... i would like to do a receptionist job or something lame like that because i am a lazy fuck lol ... um sarah is going to be moving sooner then we expected and i am gonna miss having someone here to harass me about everything ... i know in the end she is making me a better person and i hope that when she moves she finds herself and she is happy ... oh so daniel has moved in right around the corner from me him and kellie have hit a road block and i doubt that things between them will last much longer ... he is always hitting on me and all that fun stuff ... lori was here recently and we spent every waking moment together ... it was great !!! god i love that girl so much i dont know why i had to fuck everything we had between us ... i fucked it up worse then i ever have ever before in any relationship ever ... okay well the phone is ringing i will write more later <3 Angie Pants |
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| Tuesday, June 1st, 2004 |
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| Well since i am in a writey kind of mood i will talk about a extremly randon topic ... my topic for the evening will be ... GARBAGE MEN ... who the hell in thier right mind says "Hmmm i want to be a garbage man when i grow up ... quite frankly i havent met a single person yet that has said that ... i know i wouldnt want to be one ... yah sure i would love to come home to my gf everynight smelling like rotten food and baby shit ... oh yah thats one serious turn on ... um not!!!!! ... another job i would never want to ever have would be one of those girls who work at a perfume counter in the mall ... sure i guess i would like that job if i were a french whore ... or maybe just an average good very smelly american prostitute ... well enough about hookers ... another non angela friendly job would be a gynecologist ... i dont think i could sit around and look at diseased cookies all day ... or stare at bushy preggo womens cookies (yes they do get pretty wild when your preggers) ... that would make me want to never be with another female ever again ... well enough about all of that i am done ... going to go take pics of nina and ra ra together ... nighty night | ||||||||
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| Monday, May 31st, 2004 |
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| 2 year old white female ... blonde hair ... blue eyes ... 35 pounds ... she currently resides in Orange County California ... $100.00 or best offer ... free delivery ... hurry this deal wont last long!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sale Ends Monday June 7th @ 10:00AM Pacific Standard Time | ||||||||
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| Sunday, May 30th, 2004 |
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Name Acronym Generator From Go-Quiz.com |
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| so today ra came home from texas ... im glad shes home i missed her ... tomorrow i am going to be on a mission ... i am going to clean and do laundry ... i miss my lori ... i feel so bad for her ... tonight was the first night in loris entire life thats she slept in her own bed in her own room all by herself ... i am so proud of her ... she was scared ... she didnt know how to react to that situation but i think she is doing just fine ... tonight i wrote her another letter ... it is the second one ... oh wait wait i have to tell everyone about this adorable baby picture that lori sent me in her first letter ... she had just got out of the bath tub and her mommy or someone was drying her hair and she is making the worlds cutest face ... if iknew how to post a picture on here i would scan it and put it on here for everyone to see ... its SOOOOO cute ... oh back to my letter so yah i am sending her her letters tomorrow ... okay well today was a shitty day ... i got my evil thing and i have had a killer headache ... tomorrow i am going to dye my hair back to a humanly color ... BROWN!!! ... okay well i am off to bed night night | ||||||||
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| Wednesday, May 26th, 2004 |
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| i wonder if i will ever find my place in life ... i wonder if i wont find it till im old and gray ... i wonder if i will find it tomorrow ... who knows ... not me ... i think i need to take some time for myself ... i dont mean that i am going to cut myself off from the outside world ... i mean that i am going to find out who i truly am ... maybe i will realize that i am here to help others and i will change my life to help people ... or maybe i will realize that this world is really a bad bad place and i will take the motto "on the strongest survive" into consideration as my life motto ... although that seems a bit drastic for my taste ... i see myself as more of a helper not a hurter ... i know what i am about to talk about is a touchy subject for my girlfriend but i think i want to talk abotu her and her life for a second here ... well right now i think lori is going through a serious change ... i dont know if she is growing up a little more or if she is going to have a serious emotional breakdown but whatever it is its going to happen soon ... i hope its the growing up ... im not saying that she needs to grow up thats not what i mean at all ... i am saying that i hope its that and not an emotional breakdown because i dont think that will help her one bit at all ... tonight we were talking about a very touchy subject for her and i am not going to say what it is but she knows what i am talking about ... i am sort of worried even though she told me that she doesnt mind talking to me about it but i still feel a sense of tension there when she says stuff about him ... i can hear the pain and hurt in her voice and it makes me want to grab her and hold her and tell her that i will make her feel better ... sometimes i wonder if she knows that i will listen to her talk about anything if it will make her stop hurting ... and i know that sometimes she tells me that she isnt hurting but by the tone of her voice i can tell that she is unhappy ... the other day when i sat there and held her while she cried i felt her pain and i remembered what it felt like to not have anyone and to feel so alone ... and then i remembered what it felt like to have someone ... i listened then i talked and i hope ... no i think that i made her feel better ... she seemed like she felt better ... i dont know if she was just faking her happiness but i hope it was real ... i love to see her smile ... i like it even more knowing that i am the one that made her smile ... i hope things work out for us ... i never wanna cry over someone ever again ... unless that is that they really deserve the tears ... like for instance on sunday lori was lying in my arms crying and i cried too ... she didnt know that but she does now ... but those tears werent bad tears ... they were for her because i could feel her pain ... i havent lived her life but at the exact moment in time i felt all of her pain ... every last drop of it ... and i hope that moment that i felt her pain that she didnt feel it anymore ... the tears that came from my eyes were mine but werent mine at the same time ... i felt like my life was a little glass ball in the palm of my hand and i had dropped it and it shattered there right before my eyes ... i wonder if that is how she feels everyday of her life ... if thats the case i wish i could take every last peice of that glass ball and but it back together with every last drop of blood and every last breath in my body ... i would do anything for her but thing i want most to do for her is make her life whole and to make her happy ... well i am off to bed it is very late and i have to be up bright and early nighty night everyone ... | ||||||||
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| Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 |
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| this story will crack you up ... last night ra went out to hang out with her friends ... well when i got home this afternoon and she comes running out of my room to show me her battle wounds ... she has bite marks on her tummy and scratches down her back ... she was molested by 3 girls last night ... she makes it sound like she is the victim but it sounds to me like she had a good time being the victim ... she was being poked in the cookie and bitten on the tummy ... well i will write more later my baby is on the phone bye bye | ||||||
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| Monday, May 17th, 2004 |
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Breathe in for luck breathe in so deep this air is blessed you share with me this night is wild so calm and dull these hearts they race from self control your legs are smooth as they graze mine we're doing fine we're doing nothing at all. My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me, so I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst or break or bury or wear as jewelery, which ever you prefer. The words are hushed lets not get busted, just lay entwined here undiscovered. Safe from the earth and all the stupid questions.. "hey did you get some?" Man, that is so dumb. Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear, so we can get some. My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me, so I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst to break or bury or wear as jewelery, which ever you prefer. Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember, I'll always remember the sound of the stereo, the dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late and the walk that we shared together. The street was wet and the gate was locked so I jumped it and let you in and you stood at the door with your hands on my waist and you kissed me, but you meant it and I knew that you meant it, that you meant it, that you meant it, and I knew, that you meant it, that you meant it. |
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Breathe in for luck breathe in so deep this air is blessed you share with me this night is wild so calm and dull these hearts they race from self control your legs are smooth as they graze mine we're doing fine we're doing nothing at all. My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me, so I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst or break or bury or wear as jewelery, which ever you prefer. The words are hushed lets not get busted, just lay entwined here undiscovered. Safe from the earth and all the stupid questions.. "hey did you get some?" Man, that is so dumb. Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear, so we can get some. My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me, so I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst to break or bury or wear as jewelery, which ever you prefer. Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember, I'll always remember the sound of the stereo, the dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late and the walk that we shared together. The street was wet and the gate was locked so I jumped it and let you in and you stood at the door with your hands on my waist and you kissed me, but you meant it and I knew that you meant it, that you meant it, that you meant it, and I knew, that you meant it, that you meant it. |
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I wanted to start off my journal with something fun considering what i am about to type about is so damn depressing ... so this weekend was amazing ... lori makes everything so much better for me ... i love her so so much ... well now i am here at home all bored and shit ... and i have to go to school tomorrow ... oh so much fun ... actually i think it should be fine cause tomorrow is a new mod ... thats right ya'll i only have 4 more left ... Today is mine and loris 4 month anniversary ... wow 4 months ... in 2 more months it will be half a year ... i am do proud of us were doing so good ... i have never been so in love before ... tonight rara wants me to hang out with her ... i know this thing with darcys dad getting cancer again is really getting to her ... i wish i knew a way to comfort her ... today when lori left moms house i never felt more sad ever ... it was such a horrible feeling ... i think that everytime i leave her i feel worse and worse ... and it makes me want to be around her more and more ... i wish i could be with her forever ... i wish i knew a way to be close to her all the time ... i would never have a sad day for the rest of my life ... i cant wait till the day she turns 18 so i can have her near me 24/7 and i can wake up to her smiling at me every morning ... and go to sleep with her holding me tight every night for the rest of eternity ... i think that things are going great between us ... i feel so comfortable around her ... i want this to work out for us ... statistics say that lesbian couples dont last long but lori and i are both very determined and so i am not at all worried about those stupid statistics ... okay well i am gonna get my butt going and finish up this dirty ass room before rara gets home ... like a 1 legged man in an ass kicking contest ... im out!!!! |
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| Thursday, May 13th, 2004 |
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| have you ever wished you were a bird ... you could fly so free in the big open blue sky ... you could know what it feels like to take a nap all day in the sunlight on top of a cloud ... you could fall in love ... and be with the one you love doing everything you love so much ... sometimes i wish i was a bird ... i want to fly ... i want to breath fresh air all day long ... above allof the pollution and bad things that are here on the ground ... maybe i would rather be an angel ... i would come down and watch all of the people i love all of the time and i would kiss them and leave angel kisses on them all the time ... they might not like that much because then they would be covered with freckles ... people are such beautiful things ... like lori for instance ... the most beautiful living creature ever ... for the people who dont know what lori looks like that read this just imagine the 1 thing that makes you want to cry because it is so amazingly beautiful and thats lori ... sometimes i watch her when she isnt paying attention to me and i ask myself how i could be so lucky , how could i have found the most amazing thing in the entire world ... better yet how could i have found my world in one person ... why did god bless me with such an amazing gift ... why me?? now back to watching lori ... sometimes i watch her and i start to tear up because she is like seeing one of the great world wonders ... see the thing with lori is , is that she may be young but she knows how to love like a grown person ... she loves me like i should be loved and i hope she feels the same way about me ... okay i am done bye bye ya'll | ||||||||
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| Tuesday, May 11th, 2004 |
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| today for the first time in like forever and a day i am updating ... not much has really happend lately ... my baby moved to lake elsinore ... she hates it there ... danny is moving to Kansas (yipee) and Aug 10th ... i am finally free of the horrible burdens he places on me ... as soon as he moves i am going to get his new addy and get him for child support ... i am still going to school ... i have been doing very well on my tests so far ... i havent scored below an 84% ... everyone is so proud of me ... i really hope i get my shit together soon ... i am hoping to eventually move near my baby ... i wanna be as close to her as possible ... i think her mommy is lightening up ... but sometimes she is a little harsh about the things she says but i know she is working on it ... well i am going to update ya'll more later but for now i am gonna go get my talk on with baby lol ... later late dont playa hate participate ... dont hate the player hate the game ... lol dont ask why i just said that i am not a player at all ... i am such a dorky girl ... like shout without the sh ... im out | ||||||||
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| Wednesday, April 28th, 2004 |
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| i guess i can change my icon ... i dont have it because its benji i have it cause i like what it says "i used to know the sound of a smile in your voice" ... thats why i like it but since it makes my girl jealous i will change it ... i almost got into a fight with this short fat girl from my school ... she started shit and shes gonna have to finish it ... loris sis called and said her hubby is out of intensive care and he is doing better , obviously ... hopefully she will be allowed to come down to my house for the week next week ... i really hope she can ... they are moving this weekend for sure ... i hope she likes her new house and things arent as bad as we think they are gonna be ... i mean like the fact that were not gonna be allowed to stay the night with eachother and stuff like that ... i hope that doesnt happen and were allowed to be together still ... well anyways i am going to get going i was hoping lori would be online but shes not ... i guess i will have to talk to her later ... okay love peace and the little bubble thingy im out | ||||||||
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| Tuesday, April 27th, 2004 |
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Dear Baby, I just wanted to write you a letter on here to tell you how much i love and care about you ... you make me feel whole again ... when things get rough your always here for me and in your time of need i want nothing more then to be here for you ... there are so many reasons that were perfect for eachother i could spend the rest of my life trying to name them all ... the sound of your voice in the morning when i get up give my day the most perfect start ... your smile brightens up my day ... everything about you makes me happy and i want you to remember that forever and ever okay baby ... well i am done i love you ... love always , Angela |
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| Monday, April 26th, 2004 |
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| So im home now i have been at loris house for the weekend ... i love spending time with her ... our weekend was pretty intense there was some stuff that was said that shouldnt have been talked about at all ... i need to move on and get over it because i am with lori now and thats all that matters ... i dont wanna upset you baby but i need to tell you the truth ... i almost said that i thought we should take a break this weekend ... but i couldnt bare to see you hurt so i decided to give us another chance ... i love you so much and i realize more and more each day that you are the one who makes me happier then anyone else ever ... i was so happy that i didnt say that i wanted to take a break because i was just upset and i know that i would have definitly regreted it ... i love you so much baby and i would die for you and i just want you to know that i was hurt and i didnt mean to say anything that hurt you ... please believe me when i tell you that you didnt do anything wrong ... i am so sorry that i made you cry you mean everything to me and it kills me to see tears comming from your eyes especially knowing that they were because of me ... i am sorry again and again ... i am going to go to bedd good night everyone ... i love you baby ... love peace and the little bubble thingy im out | ||||||||
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| Wednesday, April 21st, 2004 |
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Ahhh you jizzed on my shoe , you son of a bitch .... ~!*Ra*!~ She was yelling at the girly lotion for jizzing on her new shoes hahahahahah |
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| I dont know what to say so i am just going to ramble on ... i havent been up to too much but i have been busy with school ... i was just getting some songs ... thats not really entertaining ... i got introdiced to this sit its called www.ebaumsworld.com its hillarious ... i am so bored i cant wait till fri cause then i get to see my baby ... she is going to go look at her new house on sat and she is gonna go out to lunch with her mom and her bro and her sis ... so i am gonna be kicking it at the house without her all day ... as much as she would like to think that she wont be gone all day i know she will ... oh well i guess there are consequences to having a gf whos family loves her ... if that didnt make sense let me be a little more clear ... daniels family doesnt like him very much so they tend not to invite him to family things and loris family loves her very very much so they want her to go everywhere with them ... i wish i could go but thats okay ... i dont mind hanging out with mom and papa and whoever else happens to be home on saturday ... well hmmm oh did i mention i am bored ... i wanna go out and get an ID before the end of the world ... this song i am listening to called "can we ride" by Lil Rob is such a good song ... lori dedicated it to me ... its so sweet ... she says a lot of the stuff on this song to me ... she is so cute ... i love her so much ... she is always so sweet to me ... she is such a dork though lol j/k baby you know i love you no matter how dorky you are ... well anyways i am done writing about the same stuff i always write about ... i am done bye bye ...love peace and the little bubble thingy ... im out hahahahahahahaha | ||||||||
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| Monday, April 19th, 2004 |
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Today i had school ... i really like MIBC (med insurance billing and coding) ... there were some really nice girls in the class ... there is this mexcian dude in the class with this awesome Raiders  jacket ... i was gonna ask him how much he payed for it and where he got it so i could get it for lori ... i know she would really like it ... i liked it and the Raiders isnt even my team ... i am starting to like them more then my team ... i think its cause lori though ... she is upset because mandy didnt wanna go up there today ... i am mad at mandy cause she was like "lori didnt impress me at all " ... i was like "what the fuck do you mean by that" ... and she said "well she just didnt impress me" ... and i said "well i dont really care what you think of her i like her a lot ... i love  her a lot and lina loves her too and that is all that matters" ... i could give a flying fuck less what anyones else thinks ... if no one likes that you can kiss my ass ... simple as that ... i am gonna get a good job and a house out near her house so we will be close together ... i can wait till then it will be great ... i will be done with school in October ... actually i will be done in September because my externship will be in October ... well i am done writing for now i am gonna go take a nap ... oh and lori if you read this before you call me dont worry about waking me up because i really need to talk to you its kind of important ... okay love peace and the little bubble thingy ... im out
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Blurty for Angela.
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hopeful.
grateful.
giddy.
frustrated.
lonely.
giggly.
loved.
depressed.
anxious.
happy.
energetic.