Almost Laughing   
11:05pm 12/12/2004
  Her gaze wanders to the pictures in her room. Faces of friends she once knew stare back. She wonders what has become of them and why they no longer talk. She misses them, but do they miss her?

She knows that somehow it's her fault, that somehow she ruined it, ruined them, but she doesn't know why. Why would she leave them? Why would she lose touch? Why didn't she try?

Maybe she was scared. She almost laughed, even though the thought wasn't funny. She had always had trouble letting people in. She was never quite comfortable sharing her whole self. She was so afraid to be hurt that she ended up hurting other people. What irony.

She sits up straighter. She would change. She would open up. She would make it easier to know her. She would let someone in. She would still be afraid but it wouldn't matter. She would not let her fear hold her back anymore. She would be brave. She almost laughed again. Instead she cried.

Because she knew that she would never change.		  
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troubleystrife