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JaMiE

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long time [11 Jun 2003|06:16pm]
[ mood | overwhelmed ]
[ music | boys of summer * the ataris ]

i haven't written in such a long time. but im really stressed out lately so i have to write. finals are going on. they just started today. i had my algebra2 final. god it was such a waste of time to even go to. im so scared that im going to fail that class my mom will absolutly kill me. i will NOt have a summer. schools over on monday!!!!! i have to go for one final and them im done! im kinda of upset. i mean i wont get to see m* .. well that situation is soo wierd. i want him sooo bad but i just cant. there are so many reasons but when it comes down to it i still want him. i just never know if he wants me. i mean i know he says this stuff to me like he does but than im like well you know i have t* but i dont know who you have besides talking to me, and i know he has to have other people. t* he just pisses me off. since last time i wrote i have hung out with him like everyday. its a lot, too much. ugh i dont know i confuse myself sometimes. i have to shower and then study for finals. ill be on later tonight and write more.

(2) * love

[13 Apr 2003|01:28pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]
[ music | ur makin me high * toni braxton ]

ahhh my sweet sixteen was last night!!@@$#$@@ i had sooo much fun! tommy got me a reallly really cute stuffed animal a shirt n this bracelet with xs and hearts its sooo cute.. hes so cute. took him forever last night though to b normal with me but wutever........ *jesse, i always got DO for that right??*


ugh i wrote that before but i never updated it.. okay i try to hang out with my boyfriend.. yeah we never do because he is always with his goddamn friends. i hate it soo much its not even funny. and spring break is coming up and im never gona fvkin see him i know it. god it makes me soo mad!@#$%

(1) * love

to get to know me [11 Apr 2003|03:42pm]
What is your name?? Jamie Lynn Jakubik

1. Who do you love? Tommy

2. Were you named after anyone: nopez

3. Do you wish on stars?: yea... mosta the time they dont come tru tho : (

4. Which finger is your favorite?: i dont know

5. When did you last cry?: about 10 mins ago

6. If you were making a movie about yourself, who would play you?: Julia Stiles..

7. Do you like your handwriting?: sometimes

8. Who do you admire?: my mom

9. What is the #1 priority in your life?: to get good grades so i can get into college

10. What is your favorite lunch: muffins yummmi

11. Any bad habits?: Biting my finger nails

12. What store would you never be caught dead in?: i dont know.. *stereotypin aint cool*

13. If you were another person, would you be friends WITH you?: yea

14. Are you a daredevil?: nopez

15. Have you ever told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: yea

16. Have you ever stolen anything?: nah

17. Do looks matter?: to a point

18. Do you pray?: no

19. Have you ever met anyone famous?: nah

20. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: hmm maybe

21. Are you trendy?: i guess.

22. What do you do to vent anger?: curse people out

23. Are you passive or aggressive?: agressive

24. Who is your idol?: julia stiles

25. Who is your second family?: i dont know, i dont really jus have that one friend im always with, i guess ild gota say jess's if any


26. Do you trust others easily?: hell no.. you cant trust anyone anymore

27. What was your favorite toy as a child? my barbie jeep

28. What class in school did you think was totally useless?: all math & science classes

29. Have you ever been on radio or television?: nopez

30. Do you like sappy love songs?: yes

31. Do you have a journal?: yea..

32. Have you ever intentionally hurt someone?: feelings, yeah

33. Do you like sarcasm?: sometimes

34. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?: nopeZ

35. Do you feel understood most of the time?: nope

36. What was the happiest moment in your life?: i'll let ya know when it happens

37. Do you know what `sctief' is?: huh? wha?

38. What is your nickname?: jamos

39. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?: no

40. What are you worried about right now?: cant say

41. Do you ever wear overalls?: when i was younger

42. Do you think you are strong:? to everyone else yeah. but when it comes down to it. not at all

43. What's your favorite ice cream flavor: coffee!
(2) * love

ahhhh [11 Apr 2003|03:26pm]
[ mood | cryin` ]
[ music | where r u goin` * dmb ]

hey! im really bad at updating this thing because so much shyt has happened within a few days. so yesterday marquis was talking to alot!!! like at lunch he was totally at my table like major time. it was weird so i thought something was up but i didnt kno wut was going on so i ignored it. then after lunch he walked with me to 5/6, hes in my class but he usually goes a different way. so that was another weird thing. so the in english(5/6) he told me "i think you should break up with tommy" n i was like wut why n he goes "isnt it enough that i asked you to?" and i was like wow. so then we started writing a note back and forth n i go. but why are you asking me to? so he goes are you serious or do you just want to hear it. n i go i think i want to jus hear it but i want to make sure that im thinkin the same thing that is going on. n hes goes because of me and you. what did you think and i go that but i wanted to make sure. and he goes but you seem like a shy girl. so i go what u mean shy girl n he goes like if i was to call you u wouldnt talk or if we were to chill you would stay as far away as possible. and i go no but you wouldnt kno bc u never called n we never chilled n he goes well we can change that. n i was like oh okay. n he goes wut time can u be on the phone until? n i was like whenever its my line. so he goes ight so then it stopped. *this was on thrusday* so i had such a busy night that i get home layed down at 10 jus to watch tv well im thinkin tommys asleep n i didnt get to talk to him but wutever i didnt care. 11 hits n im jus bout to fall asleep and marquis called me. so we were on the phone for about a half hour. and we jus talked like it was weird because it felt so normal. damn thi boy got a bangin phone voice. so he sed something like well would u mind if i interferred with you and tommy n i was like umm i dont know. i mean i dotn know n like he goes well how bout you get back to me tomorrow about it. so i was like fine n we got off the phone cuz he went to shower.

then today (friday) in english marquis was like normal. and he goes so whats the answer n i wrote him a note that said what kind of interference and he goes thats up to you, your the one with a boyfriend, n i was like oh okay. i never answered him though because i dont know what the hell to say to him i mean wtf! wut do i do ! my heart leads me to tommy but like my brain is all for marquis. so track today was inside. marquis was liftin he is one bangin boy. so after track i was waitin for my mom. n i cant see down the hall way but i thought he was looking at me so i waved to him n he was like wut me and pointed to himself n i was like yeah n shook my head. so he came down n we jus small talked. i dont kno wut im doing i mean im gona fuck myself over i do this all the freakin time. reply and tell me wut u think..

love

time flys by [08 Apr 2003|06:38pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | unbreak my heart * toni braxton ]

Its been a long time since I have written in this. But I think I’m going to start again. Well I’m over Ryan, and have been for a while now. All this shyt happened with marquis, well not really happened. But stuff was said like him wanting to get with me. I was all into that but then Tommy started talking to me. Well I fell for him and dropped the marquis idea. I mean there are a lot of things that would never let the marquis thing go. Which is okay because I really like Tommy. So after a while with talking to Tommy he asked me out (a week ago Sunday) well marquis found out and gave me shyt about it. But its not my fault because he never mad a precise move. Well the week went on last week fine besides comments from marquis.

Friday night I was going to hang out with Tommy. (Sunday was my b-day) my friends decided to go out to eat and didn’t like the idea of me not ditching Tommy to go chill with them. Well its aight now but they were mad but I went with Tommy anyway. Saturday I had track all day, got home shower, and went to the mall with Erin and then chilled home with my brother and his friends. Sunday was my birthday so I stayed home n chilled and family came over. so Monday was ight. It freakin` snowed snow in April that’s crazy. So we had a half day … Erin Mel Janine Kelly Tommy Ryan and Doug came over. it was weird having Ryan here with Tommy but whatever it was ight because I don’t like Ryan any more.

Well Tuesday, today, Tommy walked me to my locker before 3rd. and I gave him a kiss. Well that was a big ordeal because marquis was standing there. He was saying shyt like where’s my kiss blah blah blah I told him down the hall way (Laura was down the hallway) whatever then in Horowitz he was saying shyt again but I don’t get the kid he’s kind of “with” Laura so it aint my fault! He could have had a little something with me before Tommy even came into the picture and didn’t, not my fault. Whatever I don’t care its just annoying hearing it everyday. My sweet 16 is on Saturday. I’m so nervous and I’m sooooo not ready. I still need shoes and I don’t know what I’m going to do

Today in track we ran around the school and we played man hunt, it was actually really fun. But then my shins started to hurt so zurk told me to stop. So I stopped but they really hurt bad lately. And I hate it so much. I mean I hate people thinking she cant hack it because if I couldn’t I would be there but I don’t know it just sucks

(6) * love

f v k h e a d [08 Mar 2003|11:57am]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | none ]

jus got home from staceys sweet 16... it was ight.. boring...candles were fun * ha janine* i dont kno barely ne one danced.. i was sooooo good too! i didnt cry! first one i havent cried at !!!! ahhh! lol..well he wasnt there so it doesnt totally count but wut the hell lol !!!!! well i called chris like he told me too. his voice mail picked up so wutever duschbag . haha jp! i didnt really wana chill neway. he jus wants ass. he would prolly get it too if i chilled wit him.. but wutever. anywayz. i come home n now im online so im talking to ryan. well heres the convo to set it up.

Jamios5487 [11:41 PM]: i need a qoute for my profile
Kenny5onJerzey [11:42 PM]: really have you seen mine latley go to the webiste on it
Jamios5487 [11:42 PM]: no i havent seen it

so i look at his profile because i havent looked at it because it hurts. well to my surprise it has changed.

Statz-Single
*I want you to know that i miss you i miss you sooo.....* Finch

okay thats wut it says now. that qoute was never there. it hurts so much. as much as i want that to be for me i kno its not n its killing me. when i saw that tears jus poored out. he can be sucha cox sucka mosta the time. whys he so fvking stupid (answer*he has a dick) UGH

(1) * love

f e e l i n ` [08 Mar 2003|10:23am]
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | x gona give it to ya *dmx ]

i havent written in a while.. we had testing this week. okay well there has been a lot going on. mad feelin` floatin around. okay first ive been tryin to talk to ryan lately. so he decides to ignore me in school fine i was having problems wit that but i was dealin. so during testing i was sittin with marquis.. well im having some feelin` for that boy. n thats not good. not because of eyesite problems, but because of his ex/talking or whatever she is. because of alot. i just dont know. he cant know anything either. i want him so bad but its like a one way thing so i can never let him know. god i want to tell him but i cant because held prolly laugh at me. uhhhhhh i dont know. so ive having trouble dealing wit that, bc we're in english together and we talk ALL the time. uhh. so last night i went to his basketball game..it was a big game.. they lost to redbank...*rather play wit skill then win wit refs* but so they were upset. i feel bad bc it was a big game n i kno how it is to loss a big game (field hockey). they will be fine though. so then we went to sherbans...*erik.ryan,joey,brad,pete,mike r, georgie,mel,kait,erin, n i* well ryan decided to talk to me there n at the game. i dont get him!@# hes such a jerk sometimes its unbelievable. i hate him sooo much half the time! n the other half i just dont think about him anymore. so atleast 1/2 the time is good haha. i dont know im just so wierd in the feelin` department lately. well i kno who i want but he dont n no one else does either but with the ryan thing i think its bull shyt. n then i talk to joe a little lately too. thats some stuff.. but i dont wana talk bout that one. ima bounce

love

loooong time [27 Feb 2003|09:54pm]
[ mood | restless ]
[ music | girls all the bad boys want * bowling for soup ]

sundays always blow! i had to work from 9:30-2.. not that bad. went pretty fast. then i went to michaels wrestling match he won all 4 matches! the team won 3 .. lost the 4th to team delaware. not bad tho it was close! mike pinned all four kids! go michael! hehe its his bday tuesday, we're going to breakfast for him! i get my baby tomorrow! ahh! lol im gona die! so then my mom brought me to dunkin donuts. n then i did homework n have been watching this movie on channel 4 its really really really goood! its not over yet tho! n it started at 7! ight im gona go finish watching it n do some homework! haha

monday * got mah baby! hehe Zachary Daniel.. school was school... n then i went tanning.. Zachary was good that night. walmart experience wit my embarrassed mom and brother haha!@ mad shyt went down in school-erin


tuesday* zachary was good. nannie and poppy left for florida.. poppy will b bak in a week nannie 2 weeks. simon is with us. i hope they are enjoying their stay. i got involved in that mad shyt from monday.. ugh!@

weds* uhhh problem teacher wasnt in school...good, got to blow off steam haha. zacks soo cute lol

thursday* hmmm today was a normal day. i talked to mr horowitz and apologized for everything. he sed i was dragged into it. well i was but whatever i dont care. i still think i want to switch out. i think no matter what itll be easier even if he is my favorite teacher..ughh i dont know. different subject... im trying to talk to ryan but its soo hard hes never online when i am. maybe its a sign not to talk to him. but i think its about time i talk to him. hmm i dont know comment me n tell me.. u hafta read my first journal entry though and then tell me. i found my "get over someone fling" .. hahah its joey. hes nice to me. i like him but like i dont like him like him ya know?? lol ive been talking to chris lately too. but that cant happen.. i already tried that and he wasnt on more than a friend with benifits thing with me but atleast we talked it out. ryan well jus kinda ignored it. god i miss him. even as just a friend i want the friendship back atleast. ugh im jus so depressed kinda latelya bout it. i want that friend back. ughhhhhhhh i dont know what to do! comment and give me some ideas hehe.

(1) * love

sat nightz..... [22 Feb 2003|10:09pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | i WILL survive * aretha franklin ]

hmmm saturday night and im chillin home babysittin. its not that bad. there wasnt anything to do anyway. well i slept til about 9ish today and then i heard my dad bytchen to mike to wake up cuz he had practice so it woke me up. watched television for a while. then erin called at like 11 ((damn she was up!)) so we were gona get our nails done but my mom wasnt home cuz she was at the rec. wrestling match, where i should have been..oopz! mah bad! so then around 1:00 she got home and took erin and i to vesica to tan. because it was rainging, no walking for us today! haha. so we went tanning and then we ran to zen to get our nails done. i like mine i got tips and a french manicure, erin got tips and baby blue sparkly nail polish with a snowflake and a diamond on one nail its really cute i like it! n then she got her eyebrows done. dude there was this chick in there forever! before erin. she had ta get a full out bodywax...eww painfuL! damn! anyway, so then erins dad picked us up and brought me home. then i got home showered n did my hair n round 7:30 my mom n dad left so im babysitting cuz they went to a parents wrestling dinner. randy has nick over and joe has jeffery over. not really bad, could be worse. i just made them vaniilla milkshakes. what a good babysitter! haha! they were wrestling n shytz before. now theyre watching tv i think they finally mellowed out. ugh i hafta work tomorrow from 9:30-2:00 sucks butt really bad. whatever though. ight ima go n chill out. luvies!@

love

f I r S t E n T r Y [21 Feb 2003|10:12pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | CSI-television ]

ahh! finally! my first entry! thank you soooo much to babiegurl. ur an awesome girlie! hehe thank you so much! where should i start! well i just redid my profile. finally its not all about ryan. truthfully the profile is just for show. i dont want people to see how hurt i am still. i mean its been like two weeks now and im still hurting. i know i shouldnt be, because we really were never anything but friends/hookup buddies. well as he would say "i think feelings change really quick" or "i think we are on more of a big friendship level that it seems weird to be like more than that " which ever one he wants to keep saying fine, it hurts equally bad. i don't know whether it was the right thing to tell him i dont want to be friends or it was the wrong this, because it shows how much he gets to me. ive liked him since 8th grade. he just doesnt understand what he does to me, i dont even understand how he can have this effect on me. since he told me he didnt want nething more with me than a *big friendship level* i havent spoken to him. its been soo hard to see him and know i cannot talk to him. looking in his eyes as we pass each other or at our lockers kills me. he looks at me like he wants to speak to me and is hurt by not talking to me, and then we turn away, no matter how much i try to believe he truely does care about our friendship, deep down i know he doesnt care and im just another one to add to his list. wut i hate even more is a cried a flippin river for this boy and he jus paddle right along in it to his next 8th grader. he doesnt deserve me and i know that but it so hard to move on especially with someone who you truely have deep feelings for.

on a brighter note, my day actually was good, compared to last week. algebra//well that was just the same ol' boring class, except mallory and i find a way every day to laugh.wierd huh? spanish//ugh boring..slow..we have a quiz tomorrow and i do not know what is going on with it, but i really dont care at all. ugh randy is the most annoying kid in the woorld! history//FINALLY! we talked about our research papers! too god damn bad i wrote mine and now i have to rewrite the entire god damn thing! lunch//hmm nothing exciting.. erin played with her digital camera! lol english// we didnt do shyt. it was boring horowitz flipped the shyt on erin for nothing tho. that class is flippin annoying. chemistry// we took our test. i dont know whether to say i did good or bad. i feel that they seemed too easy, ya know? wutever though. gym// a e r o b i c s sucks ass very much! jayne and i gossiped about people tho haha! children&you// we had a test. haha g Ue Ss eD! ahh i get my baby on monday!#^@ okay this is my babys name if it is a boy ... zachary thomas....or.....Dylan thomas..hmm i dont kno yet.. and if its a girl Skylla Marie.. ((yea mo fo u took my name when u sed u dont like it so fvk off bc ur a bytch and i fvking cant stand you at all right now)) hehe! anywayz.

today was boring it was a friday! WeEkEnD!@$@ so i was gona chill home tonight but cait called so i went to the bball game wit her.. WE WON! go tigerz! it was a gmc game thank god we won haha.! n then we went to the wrestling match wit mel,chris,mike,nick, and andy. it was ight.. fvk head was there! haha! wutever though! have fun! n now im home bored as hell. writing in this@ okay well im watchin csi right now n talking to a few ppl.. ttyl lyl byebyebye!

(1) * love

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