Dizzy's Day

Monday, December 15, 2003

2:49PM - Firefly

I haven't been able to update because of a freak windstorm which honestly scared me to death. I have an odd phobia of windstorms and falling trees that intend to crush me while I sleep. Or while I'm awake. Either one. This weekend I finally put up my new bed and rearranged my furniture in my room so I actually have a room now. I even have a real mattress. Not two foam thingys stuck together. No no. It's a real mattress. Quite godly at that. The weeks before Christmas usually leave me feeling empty. My grandpa died the day before christmas eve when I was seven, I think. Ever since then it's left me. I stopped caring, I guess. I don't like it when people give me things when I don't have the money to give them something in return. I don't feel worthy of anything because I'm content with what I have. I finally told Mike. It should've left me in some horrible depressed state but I'm more relieved than sad. There's a twinge of regret but it's all for the better and it's what's right. I'm free of it now. Ashley, however, has been getting on my nerves as usual. Her constant pestering about me doing a favor is driving me insane. Why should I do anything for her anyway? She's not a big help with anything. She has her moments when she cares about other people the moment comes and goes like the light of a fire fly. You know when you take a firefly and put it in a jar with no airholes? Yeah. That's tempting.

e n d .

Current mood: annoyed
Current music: blink 182 - I miss you
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