09:20am 08/07/2003
  I have a live journal now...see me on that now. http://www.livejournal.com/users/trendy_deadfish/  
I Miss The Good Ol' Days   
06:41pm 05/07/2003
mood: regretful
music: Steve Miller Band-Midnight Toker
sk8erpunkduck: ok joelle
sk8erpunkduck: !!!!!
tReNdY dEaD FiSh: okay scott
tReNdY dEaD FiSh: !!!!
sk8erpunkduck: okay joelle!!!!!!!!
tReNdY dEaD FiSh: okay scott!!!!!!!!!!!!
sk8erpunkduck: okay joelle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
tReNdY dEaD FiSh: okay scott.
sk8erpunkduck: i am the weiner
sk8erpunkduck: !!!

Why did i fuck things up with him? I hate me.
Fuck the world   
02:17pm 05/07/2003
music: Dashboard-Screaming Infidelities/ my own sobs..
I'm actually listening to Dashboard Confessional...

Why does it seem like I drift away from people so easily?
Why do I let myself let go?
I should care but I don't, I'm so fucked up.
My mom wanted to know why I burnt myself well I think that the fact that i don't care even when I want to.
I'm sorry to anyone that I have let go that I have loved.
I'm going to grow up and be alone
I'll be a fat old lady with over grown eyebrows and no one will want to love me

I'm missing your bed
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak,
And this bottle of beast
Is taking me home

I'm cuddling close
To blankets and sheets
But you're not alone, and you're not discreet
Make sure I know who's taking you home.

I'm reading your note over again
There's not a word that I comprehend,
Except when you signed it
"I will love you always and forever."

Well As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs
And sit alone and wonder
How you're making out
But as for me, I wish that I were anywhere with anyone
Making out.

I'm missing your laugh
How did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as you 're pretending.

I am alone
In my defeat I wish I knew you were safely at home

I'm missing your bed
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have speak, and
This bottle of beast is taking me home.


Your hair, it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities
And taking its wear.
07:51am 05/07/2003
  You represent... loneliness.
You represent... loneliness.
Always alone and always sad about it... unlike
angst, you don't have to look for a reason to
be miserable. You want to be in the company of
people but aren't sure how to act when you're
with them. Sometimes you have to make an
effort. You can't always wait for others to
come to you.

What feeling do you represent?
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Punk Rock
PUNK ROCK : Like a revived species of nearly extinct salamander, Punk Rock Asian Girls are a rare type, but slowly climbing up to existence again. Your passions are mainly music and anime and you've probably dyed your hair some odd color of the rainbrow. And if you haven't, you probably will. You often feel like you are misunderstood, but don't worry. Just think about thongs. Very funny.

What Asian Girl Are You?

Romantic movie! You probably won't star in a porno
anytime soon. You seem to be really into the
whole "love" thing...romantic sex
with perfumed sheets and candles all over the
place. You're probably a hopeless romantic. You
value sex and respect your partner too much to
do anything like porn. AWWWWWW! <3

What kind of porno would you star in?
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What kind of typical high school character from a movie are you?
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I am a sniper/professional killer.

Which cat that thinks it's human are you?
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11:32pm 01/07/2003
mood: loved
music: Riff Randells-MO
IlVienerlI: good night joelle you are my sun shine!! :O)
I <3 him so much. Every moment I spend with him makes me happy. Ya hear me! I cry happy tears when you say those things to me! I want to be with you right now but you need sleep so SLEEP! I'm going to smoke some pot and pass out now. I love you all. The world is being good right now, i like it.
     Read 1 - Post
Look At These Cuties   
08:20pm 01/07/2003
music: Postal Service-Sleeping In

Adorable Huh?
07:34pm 01/07/2003
mood: hungry
music: Hot Hot Heat-Touch you Touch You
Whos a member of Mad Rad Hair? Could it be....Joelle? Yes, I do think so! WOW. I got called over the intercom at K-Mart today, my new name is Jonelle. If you say it right it sounds like a black woman's name. I'M PROUD, I'M BLACK, I'M JONEEEEELLE! Oh yes.. I got two Pokemon shirts that shop and save today and one striped shirt...whats with me and stripes?? The only place i can find clothes I like is the little boys section...see...i'm a boy. I also got a jean bag with a six on it and a question mark and a star on it....i don't know how to describe it except 80'S, allll the way. Very 80's. I liky though. My brother downloaded 28 Days Later so I'm going to watch that and my mom bought Gangs Of New York. And we are having my favorite dinner tonight, chicken, pees, gravy, and wild rice....its sooo good. Well Vi is on his merry way down here. We get closer and closer everytime we see eachother...i hope its not going to be like what Juliet says in Romeo and Juliet, that if you go too fast it will end fast....NAH! Well I smell food. LATE.
04:15pm 29/06/2003
mood: blank
music: Modest Mouse-Dramamine
Have you ever...
-01. Fallen for your best friend? Yes but I have never done anything about it.
-02. Made out with JUST a friend? haha yes..
-03. Been rejected? I have never asked anyone out...it always...just happens.
-04. Been in love? i don't think so...
-05. Been in lust? yeah, Jake.
-06. Used someone? Not that i know of.
-07. Been used? yes...Jake.
-08. Cheated on someone? fuck you.
-09. Been cheated on? yes..Jake.
-10. Been kissed? yup yup yup
-11. Done something you regret? I wish i wouldn't have been such a fucking ditz with Scott when I had the chance..

Who was the last person...
-12. You touched? haha a Drag Queen at the Gay Pride Parade.
-13. You talked to? My mom, she asked if i wanted a burger.
-14. You hugged? Vi
-15. You instant messaged? Kelsey
-16. You kissed? Vi
-17. You had sex with? heh...
-18. You yelled at? Some people on the street
-19. You laughed with? Kelsey and Rissy
-20. You had a crush on? Vi
-21. Who broke your heart? Scott

Do you...
-22. Color your hair? BLACK
-23. Have tattoos? nope
-24. Have Piercings? Nope
-25. Have a boy/girl friend? yep, Vi
-26. Floss daily? NEVER!
-27. Own a webcam? yep
-28. Ever get off the damn computer? To hang out with Vi or take a poo.
-29. Sprechen sie deutsche? ichs wuwg veill zeitchf gast? ....0_0....
-30. Habla espanol? a little.

Have you/do you/do you have...
-40. Considered a life of crime? Vi and I thought about insurance fraud a couple of times..
-41. Considered being a hooker? haha onyl when I'm with Khanh.
-42. Considered being a pimp? I'm the OCG pimp.
-44. Split personalities? yes
-46. Obsessive? over my art
-47. Obsessive compulsive? thats my mom.
-48. Panic? not often
-49. Anxiety? yes but people probably can't tell.
-50. Depressed? It comes and goes.
-51. Suicidal? no
-52. Obsessed with hate? i hate hate...yet i use that word so often.
-53. Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore? I dream happy.
-54. Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them? yes
-56. What would you be doing? Being less ugly.
-58. What are you listening to? Modest Mouse-Never Ending Math Equation
-59. Can you do anything freakish with your body? I can do things with my feet that I should only be able to do with my hands.
-60. Chicken or fish? chicken.
-61. Do you have a favorite animal? Deer
-Current Clothes: Pink roxy shirt that i only put on because my cat got my other shirt hairy, my brown cords.
-Current Mood: BLANK
-Current Taste: burger.
-Current Hair: 10 different kinds of gross.
-Current Annoyance: an itch i can't scratch
-Current Smell: Nag Champa
-Current thing I ought to be doing: cleaning my room...again. Or calling Vi because i don't all enough...I HATE THE PHONE.
-Current Desktop Picture: Riff Randells
-Current Favorite Group: The Postal service..or Loudermilk, Loudermilk
-Current Book: The Second Summer Of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants!
-Current DVD In Player: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
-Current VHS In Player: Nothing
-Current Refreshment: Pepsi
-Current Worry: Does Vi have less feelings for me? How am I going to look in a bathing suit when I finally go swimming? Why am I all itchy?????
-Current Crush: Vi
-Current Favorite Celebrity: uhh...i don't feel like choosing right now.

-Food: food is the enemy
-Drink: Jones, cherry.
-Color: turquoise, bright blue.
-Shoes: the turquoise converse i don't have and mt brown cord ones.
-Candy: swedish fish
-Animal: Deer
-TV Show: I don't watch much TV anymore.
-Movie: a lot.
-Dance: The Freddy
-Vegetable: egg plant!
-Fruit: star fruit, peaches, oranges.

-Understanding: if it is justifiable.
-Open-minded: very.
-Arrogant: if people make me
-Insecure: sometimes.
-Interesting: people say i'm predictable....no?
-Hungry: not at all
-Friendly: people think i'm a bitch when they first meet me.
-Smart: no..
-Moody: very
-Childish: very
-Independent: on some things
-Hard working: no
-Organized: certain things, yes.
-Healthy: no...i'm fat and i have bad eating habits.
-Emotionally Stable: Its like a rollercoaster
-Shy: sometimes.
-Difficult: very
-Attractive: People say I'm pretty but i think i could improve a lot...i look in the mirror and see a project...a project i never work on.
-Bored Easily: no
-Thirsty: for pear juice.
-Responsible: for somethings
-Sad: a lot of the time....my family thinks i am completely stable..
-Happy: sometimes.
-Trusting: with certain people..
-Talkative: If I feel comfertable, yes.
-Original: i try to be but no one can be completely original
-Different: I am half Polish...thats kinda different.
-Unique: Of course.
-Lonely: yes, i don't know why.

-Kill: 0_0 no.
-Slap: only Scott when we are doing out handshake
-Look Like: Kelly Osbourne.
-Be Like: me only less stupid.
-Talk To Offline: Scott

On You...
-Hair color: artificially black
-Birthday: nov. 30th
-Eye Color: brown
-Righty or lefty? righty
-What's your sign? Sagi.

On Dating...
-Long or short hair? long..?
-Dark or blond hair? doesn't matter
-Tall or short? taller but short works too if they are cool enough
-Dark or light eyes? irrelivent
-Pierced or no? doesn't matter to me
-All American, homey G, or grunge? whoever they want to be
-Accent or American? Accents are cute but i don't care.
04:01pm 29/06/2003
mood: sick
music: Modest Mouse.
. First best friend(s): Carey, he was the first kid on ym block that wasn't afraid of me.
. First real memory of something: as a baby i would pull around my turtle and look up at my grandma...i actually do remember that.
. First car: HA!
. First date: Jay, he was in the 5th grade and i was in the 3rd.
. First kiss: 7th grade, Kyle Dewey, ew.
. First break-up: Jake, i was 14 he was 17...I said i loved him and he dumped me and a week later he asked for me back...i said no..
. First job: With my step mom at the Taste of Washington.
. First screen name: jewjewbee44
. First self purchased album: Weird Al...the micheal jackson one..
. First funeral: haven't been.
. First pet: Cocoa, my dog. She is now old and fat and lives in Seattle with ym dad.
. First piercing/tattoo: I had my ears pierced but i took them out when i was little...now i'm a boy.
. First house/flat/apartment: still with my mommy
. First credit card: I got a pre paid one from my dad for my last birthday.
. First love: I have yet to feel what being in love is like...i think.
. First enemy: Reana...
. First big trip: Pft..i never go ANYWHERE, ever. I went to Canada.
. First play/musical/performance: kindergarden, sang about a Gooney Bird that had seven chicks.
. First musician you remember hearing in your house: Micheal Jackson, i grew up around him and i love him if you hate him i hate you. he is a beautiful person and i don't belive shit about him molesting children...he never had a childhood so he is making up for it...i understand why he wouldn't want to hang out with adults..he has helped hundreds of dying children. How could anyone be so cruel to someone with such a good heart? I'M DONE...
10:42pm 28/06/2003
09:12am 28/06/2003
mood: chipper
music: heh chipper...NOTHING! WHATS WRONG WITH ME??
Vendetta Red was MARVELOUS! I'm engaged to Chris the Winterfresh Guy, haha. Okay I'll start from the beginning of the wonderful evening. Scott picked me up around 3:50 and we got down there around 4:30. He bought me a slurppie and we headed down to Tower Records.We hung around for a while before anyone else showed up. The first person to show up was Angie...then later Kelsey and Rissy got there. We watched the show...mosh SUCKED. I thought there would be way more people there but oh well. Later on we were waiting in line to meet the band and we had a little water fight, haha. I was SOAKED. The front of my shirt was covered in water, it looked like i was lactating. AHAHA! there were these girls in front of us...the blonde one was wearing Lucky Brand Jeans...those are like 80 dollars...we got a little bit of water on her and she was all like eehHAHHAHsklj;lasdf;aldlsdfmlmglmEEEEEEEEOMGOMGOMG. I was like "Water drys darling, don't worry it won't ruin your 80 dollar jeans" Then the Winterfresh guy came....we had a bagfull by the time we were done. We made out names on the Radiohead wall with breath strips. The Winterfresh guys took pictures of it. We could be on the website or in an ad. When we were stealing more breath strips I saw this kid sitting in one of the bean bag chairs. I asked him to be in my rap you know to throw in the mo fos and biatches but he said he couldn't because his mom was right there. It turned out that he was the bassist's little brother, weird huh? So we hung out with him and got out shit signed by the band. Right before we were leaving I said bye to Chris (the winterfresh guy) and he gave me a ring! I got my bag signed, haha. Joseph wrote "Nice breath enhancers" I touched Zack's penis in the mosh! hahah. Anyways...i had a really great time. I have to go and get ready to go down to Jackie's to help her with Austin's b-day party. PEACE OUT.
01:44pm 27/06/2003
mood: blah
music: The Explosion
1] Makes you want to dance: Hot Hot Heat, Tsunami Bomb
2] Makes you happy: the postal service, Pedro The Lion, Loudermilk
3] Reminds you of an ex-lover: Linkin Park?
4] Reminds you of an ex-friend: One Carper Green
5] Makes you cry: The Most Depressing Song by The Get Up Kids
6] Makes you laugh: Spared No Expense, Blink 182? haha
7] Makes you ponder life: Postal Service, Loudermilk
8] You never want to hear again: nothng
9] You once loved but got sick of: nothing
10] You love [ band/artist ] to hate: Holy Molar
11] You sheepishly admit to liking: Yellowcard
12] You'd do anything to see played live: Loudermilk, Postal Service
13] Reminds you of your childhood: The B52's Love Shack
14] Sums up your teenage years: Blink 182, haha, all the pop punk stuff.....
15] Most people like but you hate: Avril Lavigne, Good Charlotte
16] You love the lyrics of: Loudermilk, Postal Service
17] You used to hate but now love: Pretty Girls Make Graves
18] Is best played in the car: At the drive in, Postal Service, anything!
19] You like to fall asleep to: Loudermilk (97 ways to kill a super hero)
20] You like to wake up to: the distillers
21] You like out of your parents record collection: My mom's....
22] You love that you wouldn't know if it wasn't for a friend: Loudermilk, Postal Service
23] You love the video more than the tune: Whitestripes, Seven Nation Army
24] Is good to listen to whilst holding hands: postal service
25] Makes you think of sex: the postal service.. OCG, haha
26] You love to hear at clubs: i'm a loser
27] Is not your "typical type" of style but you love anyway: Michelle Branch...!
28] You can sing really well: Garbage-I'm only happy when it rains and cherry lips
01:05pm 27/06/2003
mood: jubilant
music: what the hell is Jubilant? Aphex Twin, Avril 14th
Oh haha hehe hoho.
Lets see....3 more hours till we leave for the show....My mom got her car fixed so I think I should have her take us really early to get a good spot....oh well. We have a racoon around our parts now...my brother was feeding it out of his hand. He is such a dOrK he says "Its touched me!" haha, dweeb. My room is infested with ants!!!!!!!! DIE YOU LITTLE RAT BASTARDS! AGH! Vi gave me the "If you need space just tell me" talk...I think he suspects that I am interested in other guys...i hope he knows that I love him and that if he ever left me i would be heart broken. He is my one and only. I know it won't stay that way forever but right now it's the truth and I live for the moment.
11:15am 27/06/2003
mood: dirty
music: Postal Service..Sleeping In.
I'm starting to get sick of Adam always being such a man whore...

god all i want to do is wriet down Postal Service lyrics for some reason

last week I had the strangest dream where
everything was exactly how it seemed
where there was never any mystery of who shot John F. Kennedy
it was just a man with something to prove
slightly bored and severly confused
he steadied his rifle with his target in the center
and became famous on that day in november

don't wake me I plan on sleeping in

again last night I had that strange dream
where everything was exactly how it seemed
no concerns about the world getting warmer
people thought that they were just being rewarded
for treating others as they'd like to be treated
for obeying stop signs and curing diseases
for mailing letters with the address of the sender
now we can swim any day in november

don't wake me I plan on sleeping in

Postal Service is the best band ever...maybe not ever but i love them. I'm going to have their babies. I stink...i should shower now.
11:10am 27/06/2003
mood: tired
music: The Postal Service....Me and Vi's song..
Will someone please call a surgeon who can crack my ribs
and repair this broken heart that you're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over: I will block the door
like a goalie tending the net in the third quarter
of a tied-game of rivalry

So just say how to make it right
and I swear I'll do my best to comply

Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better
then making you my bride and slowly growing old together

I feel I must interject here, you're getting carried away,
feeling sorry for youself with these revisions and gaps in history.
So let me help you remember. I've made charts
and graphs that should finally make it clear.
I've prepared a lecture on why I have to leave

So please back away and let me go
I can't my darling I love you so...

Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better
than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures

I admit that I have made mistakes
and I swear I'll never wrong you again
you've got a lure I can't deny,
but you've had your chance so say goodbye
10:00pm 26/06/2003
  Ichabod Crane from Sleepy Hollow
Ichabod Crane:
He may be a bit nerdy, but he sticks by his
beliefs. Doesn't always fit in, but is
extremely intelligent.

Which Johnny Depp character is your ideal mate?
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09:41pm 26/06/2003
Happy Deathday!
Your name:trendy_deadfish
You will die on:Thursday, November 14, 2013
You will die of:Fall Down Stairs
Created by Quill
09:57pm 25/06/2003
mood: bored
music: Blood Brothers
At Nate's, Mila ditched us. Waitng for Vi to come save me.
06:22pm 25/06/2003
You are the playful pin-up! Do you know how to be

What Type Of Retro Gal Are You?
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Cookie Monster
You are Cookie Monster!

What Sesame Street Character are you?
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you're SUZY LEE. you wail on all righteous and
smooth. wicked, man.

Which White Stripes Song Are You?
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Yaoi Boi
You're A Yaoi Boi (Gay Boy)!
Sensitive and caring, you just want some boyXboy
love! Is that too much to ask?

What Type Of Anime Character Are You?
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I'M NEMO!   
10:44am 25/06/2003
  You are NEMO!
What Finding Nemo Character are You?

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