I'm leaving cos i tot this site crashed. created a new one. who cares about the past...
http://tuababao.blogspot.com/
goodbye tortiti
Another weekend is over. Played games on thur and fri at sentosa. The same bullshit, different yr. All abt how great the company is. U know, they actually said that they wanna plan for career fir the gen Y. How to see a career with the company when most of the gen Y are holding 2 yr contract wif the company. Logically speaking, they will b out in 2 yrs! Talk abt retention rate. CRAP.
But it was quite fun though. I mean, if u got no choice, jus enjoy it lah! Plus the best thing is I am not the organizer. I better not grumble, cos I hate it when I organise something n idiots jus sit there n complain. So smart u do lah!
I also damn shack after the 2nd day of running ard. Walking ard to b exact. Yesterday I fell asleep after breakfast. So damn lousy rite? Alamak!
I wish things will jus go smoothly. I mean like my boss said. Dun panic until we have to.
Oh yah, btw, i guess I ain't affected by the restructure. I hope. I checked ard for rumors. See panic for nothing.
Waiting for my washing machine now. Socks in the wash. I think I can overcome any challenge, superbun!
So excited! It's giving birth season!!! Haha.. Crude.
My 2 frens r giving birth at the hospital rite now. Makes all the work prob Seem like peanuts! Work is not everything, though I think it's impt to enjoy my job. I am tuning my mind to learn to love it.
I wonder how it feels like to hav a bundle of joy.
Actually I still owe pple lots of stuff, but nothing cannot b solved. I want to settle down here I gotta b ready for all challenges.
I need to go on a diet. Have been eating fried food n cakes for a few days. I getting fattter!!
But honestly I get fatter means I am less stress. Good appetite. I got used to it. After throwing up a big fuss last week I lay dormant now.
Now jus need to get a hang of myself. I need to get myself on track. I wonder if I am too hard on myself. I guess I need to be fair to myself. Today was a good day. one day at a time n I will jus get thru it. Jus one step at a time.
I was told I shld go for a papsmear test. Scarly got cancer. Plus check up. Scarly got Diebetes. Worry so much for wat? Ok lah.. Will go n test. When I got the mood. If I die now I wonder wat to do.. Wat will everyone do?
I didn't seem to do anything significant. Die Liao wasted. As though I can choose.. Haha!
I always tell myself that I need to b happy. I hope I can maintain this! Chiong ah!!
U know, I dunno why I got so worked up tat day. Mus b cos o the stress I had n the anger against the company. I am such an emo bun. Basically jus can't get over the fact tat I may face changes n disrupt my plan. It's kindof crazy.
Had a crazy week. I dunno why it was stressful also. Can't rememberwhat happened. Strangely today turned out fine.
Bun picked up a bell today. I tot the person in front of me dropped her keychain so I picked it up n asked her. Then end up she tell me it's not hers. Oops. A stray bell is scary. I know it's a no no but how leh? I touch liao. Bun better pray nothing bad happens.
Anyway, the week ended off well, wif some of the problems sort of solved. I hope I get to enloy the weekend. It's so impt. Get a fresh boost to for next week. Chiong ah!
Oh yah.. Gotta control my mood swings.. Its getting worse. Not free n easy bun. Got lots of responsibilities. Lots of choices to make.
sometimes rumors are very dangerous. as the story spreads the thing gets more and more distorted.
i dunno if this one is true. for the first time in history, the reorg WILL affect my team. i was so demoralized that i took leave today.
super sian one leh.. i have only one conclusion from this. boss doesnt like me. well, smart rite? my team isnt really doing a fantastic job. if the pie is only so huge, why share it with cost centres? u eveything also approve then of cos my centre will look unproductive lah!
i dunno lah, pple are like tat one.. why work so hard? jus ask someone else to do it lah!
but then again, i cant do anything about it also.. unless i quit lah. of cos such shit is decided by the top management. bun jus small fry let them transfer me where ever they like.
hiez.. k told me everywhere is the same... i can survive better on familiar grounds. at least i got my backings from various depts... basically i wont die lah.. but if too stress then quit lor..
haha.. so easy to say... reminds me of what i always tell other pple.. too stress then quit lor.. but its true mah..why kill urself over work rite?
i dunno why i am so affected by this... i am jus freaking out before anything happens.. tats not my usual style. its jus tat i am super jumpy these days... everything seems to aggitate me..
good to have a break once in a while... hmm.. work life balance. i need to achieve that... i go home earlier these days... i think big boss doesnt like it... thinks that we should slog our lives away.. stupid idiot.
took a day off to clear my mind.. i hope..
the decision is final. i must go on... i must persevere...
Went to ktv with the young ones.. Haha.. Ling time never sing Liao.. Feels good!!! I was feelin like shit this morn but now I am like damn bloody high!!!
I shld do this more often! More of this kind of shit to excite my stressful life. At least I know I can survive. I am uttering rubbish. Can't sleep. Shit shit shit!!
Muahahaha.. Lala ooo lala!! So much energy inside bun! I gotta increase my metabolic rate. I got the POWER!!!
Tml then come n die!!! Oooo... Oops! It IS TOMORROW ALREADY!! Shucks, past midnight liao still online. How to make sense tml? How to make good sense of all the crap!!!
Panic no use. I jus gotta be fast n quick. N those that can't be done jus SCREW IT!!!!!!
Ok, shall stop talking abt work. Jus chiong ah! Do a dirty dance n rule the world! Madness!!
I love my house, I love my hubby, I love my family!! I will pray for uuuuu!!!!!
BUN is BACK! watch out!
Its another weekend with usual activities.
Except I burned the base of my electric kettle. Cos I put it on the stove. OPPS!
Sounds dumb but I jus wake up mah, so damn blur lah! Aiyo!
I think I did spend time well, did some washing n cooked eggs this morn. Tats how I burnt the kettle.
I going to bkk!! But strangely I dun feel happy. Dunno why. Maybe I got depression? OMG! Life is getting into me. I'm starting to feel unsatisfactory with my current state of life! But what shld I do?
I dun wanna talk abt babies as though it's a proj. I like surprises. Tats more exciting. N I dun wan disappointments too. Already so stress at work still wanna worry this kind of thing tar I can't control.
As usual bun tries to remain worry free. But all these talk has made me worry. Relax lah bun. Steady!
Mind empty. Go chat
I wasn't hungry when I woke up this morn, so I skipped my usual cup of oatmilk. Last night bun ate one big plate of bee hoon n regretted. So sinful.
At night shldnt eat so much. Esp when I am trying to slim down. Anyway, I tot that plate must have kept me full but I was wrong!
I shld have followed my usual procedure. Now I am popping in my mentos to ease the hungry pangs. Later sure eat more, then get fatter.
Also, dunno why I keep feeling sleepy these days, yawn. But strangely I feel more awake when I work then when shopping. Omg! Am I becoming a work freak? Or does the stress keep me going? Some pple work too much they forget what is play.
Some pple forget other humans exists. It's bad... Bun demoralized so suddenly, not tat I too stress or what.. Company gonna have a reorg. It's usually bad. I hope my boss stays, hope I dun Lena more arrows.
Haven been concentrating on my prayers . Gotta buck up.
i feel so old school. pple are facebooking and tweeting but im still at the bloggy days..
anyway, jus wanna let u all know... i saw something disgusting yesterday.
went on the bus and saw puke on the floor.. wah lau... the whole floor was orangey and dunno what the idiot ate man... didnt dare to look cos i scared i end up puking too.. so inconsiderate... stink up the whole bus then never clean up... tsk tsk tsk...
i know its not nice to say such things about merlions.. but aiyo, get off the bus n puke lah!!! or u taking bus dun eat so much lah...
havent puked for a long time.. except for the ocassional burp that has puke in it.. but managed to swallow it so its not considered... fortunately.. tat means my health not bad... i hope.. but i shalt not be so cocky.. tat day i almost puked after the headache.. lucky i didnt eat much so got nothing to throw up anyway...
yucks.. dun feel like continuing liao.. eeeee....
Eversince tat day bun LS, bun got constipation. Ironic rite?
Must be the charcoal pill tat day, dry up all the water so my shit became tough.
Anyway, I was feeling all stuffed up n shitty for the past week. After 4 shitless days I got a bit of hope, squeezed out a small drop. Which was neglible... The next day I tried again. I huffed and I puffed and SQUEEZED wif all the forced out a little brown sausage.. Along with some chilli sauce. Backside damn pain but still walked out wif a poker face.
Then today the big one came!! Purposely eat sambal last night.. Lubricant.. N I was hoping it would trigger but didn't. This morn drank half cup of kopi, sat down n I felt the urge.
Rushed to shithole and used all my force n might! NGGGGGGGHHH!!!! PLONK! I could hear the splash as the bomb fell into the water! Had a smile on my face! Of cos success always come a price . A heavy one. I think my anus tore while the bomb went thru. Or at least I feels like it did. It's the worse kind of pain I have felt in years lor! Poor bun winced and hobbled out.. Lay on the sofa and jus took deep breaths..
I think I mus have pulled a hundred ass muscles to relieve myself today, intestines feel light n liberated.
Hiez.. I hope I dun get this often man.. So tiring..
Bun kena bully. Bun angry. Bun shall not b a nice bun. Humph!
ITS NOT MY JOB.
I know we should help each other but where were u when I needed help? It's not as if I am charity ok?
Sick of office taichi. Sick of all the pushing. I look v naive issit?
PISSED OFF!!!!
How can u do this to me? I dunno lah, I know I am a sweep shit dept, pls understand tat I need to settle enough shit at my end n dun add more.
I'm a bad mood bun now. Dun come near me. I will bite!!!
Got the mixed bun feelings.. Saw boss yesterday, when I have kids I wanna b like her. Wonder if I can though..
These 2 days my 2 juniors accomplished something wif some little help from me. Im proud.. Hee.. Hiez.. I guess they r more experienced now.. I can leave them soon..
Anyway, I'm sticking on to the job for the time being until next yr. Although sometimes I feel like going.. The time is not right. I guess I need to refocus on my goals.
Aside work, life is really great for me n k. I realise we still communicate after marriage.. Although not thru phone. Gotta maintain tat.. Thinking of doing some romantic stuff.. Wonder wat.. Picnic v hot lei.. Hee
Lots of pple asked me go holiday.. I am so excited!!
Waiting for my frens to give birth..Can't wait man!!
One of our members jus recovered from cancer after tumor got removed. No chemo!! Relieved!
Who cares abt work.. Haha
Weekend well spent. The fun started on fri nite, went to wendy wif Soks n chatted till 1am. Lucky got transport home.. I was wide awake tat nite.
But sat was a damn shitty day. I woke up n LS.. then lost my appetite.. Then I got a headache some more.. Took afternoon nap Liao still no cure.. As though I drank wine the previous nite. But of cos I still insisted on doing wat I usually do on sat. By nightfalll I was getting better.
This morn woke up feeling really thirsty. Drank water Liao still damn thirsty, bought a bog pack of drink n gulp down on the way to hui Hse. Long time never seen hui Liao, she looks tired but happy to see me! Haha thick skin..
Went to in laws Hse in the afternoon. Watched 2 episodes on transformer. Boring.
Sleepy now. Nites!
U know, sometimes I really wonder wat on earth I am doing. Is this wat I really want. I can't seem to get a hold of things. I dun wanna chicken out. But I am jus getting lazy. So exhausted...
I wanna jus take a break from responsibility. Jus dun look at me anymore.. I dun wanna b boss. Can I jus do my own thing? It's so stressful. I really grumpy these days. So freaking moody.. I dunno why I can't seem to cheer up. I Need motivation. Lots of it.
Yesterday ate supper cos dinner not full enough. I think I really should cut down. But how? Maybe I should learn to love my job. Then happy means I dun get so exhausted when I come to work. Go home Liao still fill wif energy.
But honestly I quit I also dunno wat to do. It's a big change. I can't even seem to Do the simple job well. I jus wanna go away. Y generation wants meaningful life. I guess pple ard me getting bored wif life, need to find a mission.
Boring... Now at k parents home. NOthing nice to watch. I got a phone to play. Got addicted to one of the games.
Oh no!!! I got FAT!!! I got can't button my skirt! Pants too tight. Now I button my pants then the belly blobs out. Yucks!!! Gotta cut down. cut down on sweet fatty stuff.. Started on the kopi o again.
Sian, dunno wat else to blog. Bye!
Another day filled wif non stop action. Bun is so bz. I would v much like to help but I can't afford the time. N I dun like to stay back late. Too often n I'm gonna get a burnout. I'm not tolerating work life imbalance so i better try to do things right.
Went to eat wif s today, burger!! Damn filling, chatted rubbish after tat.. It's good to have young pple in the company, brings out the life in me. I feel younger too. Haha..
I send a lot of time talking these days. It's s form of communication. Im glad the reattach of the team understands me, I think they see how hard I try, how often I fet slammed, but I still gotta thank all of them, plus boss also. I jus wish to quit sometimes but yet I still wanna hang on to prove tat bun can do it! It's not often u get such a supportive team n boss,. I am still clearing shit now , picking up the pieces n carrying on wif life... I guess I gotta live wif the path I chose.
U know, I wonder if all these stress will affect my health.. But mentally I am a stronger bun. N I will survive!!!!!!!
K is cooking tonight.. Yummy!!! Salmon is high in omega but may b mercury high too? Aiyo, jus eat n see how la, once in a while won't kill
I think I am spending too much time on the iPhone. U know, long journies r really boring. Fruitful weekend, relaxed wif some activites. Playing games is such a waste of time. Or am I jus overly worried, why shld this kind of thoughts jus worry me?
I gotta calm down, stop trying to achieve something every moment. Stop trying to aimlessly ram into something useful every second. Panic attack, I guess it's jus tat I am so bz everyday I worry abt wasting time. Sometimes I get so obsessed wif the list of to dos tat I get frustrated wen things fail.
Well, I visited in laws today, n my parents. K mom commented I am v bz every week. I begin to think I am not spending enough time wif the oldies. Lucky k is used to me being like tat. Always bz bun.
Got a religious proj due on wed. Wonder why i even bother. Stress. But then again, u never know, maybe thru this I learn something, I get to pass on this knowledge wif others, is it my mission? Haha..
Reach home Liao, gonna play wif k.
Tired.. But I jus in a great mood today..
K surprised me wif a cake last nite, how sweet.. Awww...
I am so tired.. I couldn't sleep wellthis morn.. Wore my shirt the wrong way today.. But it's good to have a big ball of energy inside me.. I'm getting the drive..
I'm jus so thankful I got support. Thru my struggles I will emerge victorious, I am queen bun!!
Jus do the tua ba pao chant wif me!
Bun grew older yesterday. Dun feel sad cos I am matured enough to know tat it's a waste of time to have regrets.
Went out wif k, then had dinner wif my parents. Simple but meaningful day, though I was a bit eager to accomplish something.. It's jus the drive inside me I can't stop. Something tat I Ned to learn. To sit back n jus enjoy life, dun rush into every minute. Jus relax..
Been meeting up wif pple.. So happy to gather wif my frens.
I have this urge to invest n get a kick of the stock market again .. Or to dabble into ppty, get passive income.
Anyway Life is short, I shld try to enjoy simple stuff more
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