||Fox 5 News @ 10
Everything is shit. I hate this.
The day started bad. The day ended bad.
First of all, it may have snowed three inches today, this morning, stuck to the roads, and everything. We're not out. I watched it snow. All day. It sucked. It fucking sucked (Therefore, it "fucked"). So, I had to live through that. Then.
Maggie and I went down to the auditorium to look at the costumes for the play we're putting on for the British people next Tuesday. We're walking back and... Welll...
Maggie: So, are you going to the prom?
Me: - Since it's school-time during Drama, I'm pretty agressive. - No.
Maggie: Don't have a date?
Me: I don't want to go.
Maggie: You know...
Maggie: I could always take you...
Me: WHAT THE FUCK. - Runs all the way to drama. -
So she comes in. I'm hiding behind Josh. She comes in saying that she's kidding. I still hide behind Josh (Papa Smurf). I don't believe her and keep giving her my "What the fucking fuck is the fuck wrong with you?" She keeps telling me that she was kidding and has no sexual preference. That she didn't like girls or guys like that in that way.
So, anyway. The bell rings. I'm picking up my backpack (Government day, heavy backpack). She looks back at me.
Maggie: But I am bi...
Me: HOLY SHIT - Runs out the door. -
So, I have been scarred for life. This is the same girl who at Karen's party last Halloween, when I didn't know her... Tucked me into Karen's bed after I had passed out and kissed me on the cheek. I know because I woke up, twitching, from it. I am so disturbed. So disturbed.
But that's only the tip of the fucking iceberg, right? Right.
I had a really shitty nightmare last night. It's hard to explain. But everything was normal. There were no big shifts like in most dreams. And everything was so perfectly clear. Only one single part of the dream slips my memory.
My dad asked me to put the dog inside. He wasn't barking like he usually does, so that's odd. The sun was setting. I walked downstairs. There was another dog already locked into Star's pen. I was scared. I screamed, twice. No good reason, to. This dog was identical to my Star. His ears even flopped down like his. But I could tell by the general, call it aura? That this dog was bad news. I also noticed that his nostrils looked evil (Don't ask about that, before I went to bed and had this nightmare, I was working on my year-long project and the last thing I was going over was how to change the shape of the nose). He just looked so damn evil. I opened the pen door. I don't know why. This is what I can't really remember. I don't think the dog said something to me. But I have a feeling it gave me a warning. And it started to shove against my legs. Pushing me. I walked outside on my own, though. Star came running inside of the garage. The dogs circled each other. This is when I noticed part of Star's side ripped out. Only a small bit. And I noticed that the other demon dog's legs were pretty badly gashed up. The demon dog left. I turned to Star, hugged him like I do all the time, kissed him on the wounded nose (only a small, pink cut) and started to lead him inside.
I woke up then. On my side. Facing the left side of my bed. I fall asleep on the right side of my bed. I always wake up facing the right side of my bed. Only when I wake up this way I know that my dream was scary.
But the dream did scare me. To death. Good thing I work up at about 5:25.
And and and.
Fuck you. Just fuck you. You know who you fucking are. I can't stand this shit. Anymore.
Any of it.
The bottom of my stomach dropped out.
And and and.
Shut up! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I HATE EVERYONE WHY WON'T THEY ALL DIE JUST SHUT UP AND DIE NO ONE IS WORTH MY TIME AND I AM NOT WORTH ANYONE ELSE'S TIME FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU YOU ARE SUCH A SLUT SUCH A SLUT I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HAVE NOTHING AND YET YOU FIND SOME FUCKING WAY TO TAKE IT ALL? WHAT THE FUCK?! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!!!!! I HATE EVERYTHING I HATE EVERYONE I HATE EVERYTHING I HATE EVERYONE I HATE EVERYTHING I HATE EVERYONE I HATE EVERYTHING I HATE EVERYONE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE THE WORLD IS SHIT WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE?! THEY ARE ALL SO STUPID SO TRIVIAL SO
So cramped. It feels horrible inside. Why why why why why why why. I hate it all.
Had to wait. At the doctor's office. For two and a half hours. Waiting. Just so I could meet the new doctor (He's very nice) and so he could sign a sheet that said I could go get my blood tests. Starting with that shit again. God. At least I now enjoy the feel of a needle. I really do. If I don't feel it at least every two weeks now, I kinda feel lost. Hm.
I hope the roads ice over. It's pretty icy outside. Poor Star fell a lot going up the ice-covered stairs when I was bringing in the water my bought. I can never get enough water.
At the doctor's office, my mom came. She had a question for him. Since she doesn't have her spleen, she has a "Compromised Immune System" so she asking if she should get the small pox vaccine or not. He didn't know. =/ Fairfax County Schools are making all of their teachers get it. Kendra did a report on that. Her year-long project (Culminating Activity) on the risk of that. =/ It's low. Very low.
Last topic of rant. Finished the project. For English. .gif movie. Starring Arrrnold, Austin Powers, Dr. Evil, the cast of the exorcist and Brad Dourif both from Child's Play and LotR: TTT. Wow.
One last thing. Dell guy. Busted for pot. Oh yeah. Shabing.
Dell Dude Busted For Pot Possesion - AOL inserted a picture of him doing a double thumbs-up. -
NEW YORK (Feb. 10) - Dude! The actor who gained fame and a cult following as the slacker "Steven" in commercials for Dell computers was arrested buying a small bag of marijuana, police said.
Benjamin Curtis, a 22-year-old New York University drama student, awaited arraignment Monday on a misdemeanor drug possession charge.
Police said he was arrested Sunday night on the Lower East Side after officers on a drug detail spotted him buying a small bag of marijuana from Omar Mendez, 19. Mendez faces drug sale and possession charges.
Curtis' agent, Bonnie Shumofsky, had no immediate comment on the arrest.
Curtis' portrayal of a surfer type who proclaims, "Dude, yer gettin' a Dell!" drove up computer sales and spawned T-shirts, caps, and backpacks, along with Web sites and online fan clubs.