*Each* emotional injury leaves behind its [mark]

Subject:	Yeah-Yah!
Time:	11:57 pm.
Mood:	happy.
Music:	"Return of the Phantom Stranger" Rob Zombie.

Today there was a lot of bad and a lot of good, but the good always outweighs the bad! Emily P. was being an immature bitch, as usual. I don't feel like going into it, but Christine was as pissed as I was, and Emily H. was sooo livid! It was great. Anywho, I went over to Christine's house today. It was fun. We walked to 7-11 and hung out. We got some Slurpee's, and went back to her dad's for pizza. It was yummy. Then we went to Wal*Mart, and her dad dropped me off here. Christine is so awsome! She is a really good person to talk to...and so understanding! [Thank you sweetie!] So all in all, it's been a really awsome day! :] *grin*

Entangle me in hoplessness

Subject:	Well then..
Time:	5:51 pm.
Mood:	okay.
Music:	"Something for Nothing" Rush.

I knew I had a bad feeling when Hana spent the night at Brit's house. Brit cheated on me...big fucking surprise. I got so angry, and I cut myself. I couldn't help it. Self-control just went bye bye. Oh well. So I told my parents and showed them, and I ended up sleeping in their bedroom. So that made me feel a bit bitter. This morning told my mom told me Brit is going out with Hana and Heather. That really made me laugh, and kinda pissed off at the same time. More so laugh, because that does not surprise me at all. That girl will never ever change. Hana is also just as bad. I'm just glad I know what I want in a relationship, and I sure as hell can't get it from Brit, or any of my ex's. She said she wanted to try and be friends, and not so pissed off at eachother like last time. I'm not gonna be pissed at her, but I sure as hell am not gonna be her friend. I am glad to have true friends who will never backstab me in any way.

Entangle me in hoplessness

Time:	1:37 pm.
Mood:	good.
Music:	"Hallowed Be Thy Name" Iron Maiden.

Today has been really good so far. I got up at 11 ish, cause Mario called me. I swear that boy is so desperate. Anywho, I watched some Rush in Rio with my mom and Tim. Geddy Lee is so funny. I really want to learn to play the bass to "YYZ." It is so awsome! Heh Heh. Then I talked to Nikki for a bit. Got some food, and now I am here. I'm going to the Aftercare Group thing at Snowden tonight. I'm excited. I get to see my friends and the staff. I miss them. :] I'm in a super mood today. Also, my honey bunches of oats is coming down to visit! YAY! I really hope I get to see her. I probably will. I'm so excited! *grin* Oh happy day...

Entangle me in hoplessness

Time:	11:49 pm.
Mood:	good.
Music:	"Smoke on the Water" Deep Purple.

I'm really bored. No one is online that I really feel like talking to. I was playin a lil bit of my dad's guitar...or trying anyway, lol. My dad then busted out his guitar skills. He played Smoke on the Water and Stairway to Heaven. Those are such awsome songs. Then he started making up his own junk, lol. So tonight has been pretty good I suppose. I kept myself busy. I had some yummy ice cream and cheese cake. The weirdest thing is, people keep asking me if I either lost weight, trying to lose weight, and telling me I look slimmer. *confused* I ain't trying to lose weight, and I didn't lose any. But my legs look slimmer, I dunno about the rest of me, lol. La dee daa. I'm really bored. Maybe I'll find some quizes or something to do...

Entangle me in hoplessness

Subject:	Blah.
Time:	6:12 pm.
Mood:	sad.
Music:	"Shiny" The Decemberists.

Today has gone by really fast. I guess that's what happens when you wake up at 12. I watched Lord of the Rings 3, and hung out upstairs. I havn't even taken a shower yet. I must do that. Today has been kinda boring, and kinda sucky now. Hana might spend the night at Brit's tonight. I really don't like that at all, and I invited her over today, too. I guess I shoulda called sooner than I did. :[ Oh well. :/

Entangle me in hoplessness

Subject:	Sigh
Time:	11:39 pm.
Mood:	depressed.
Music:	"The Bachelor and the Bride" The Decemberists.

I went and saw Shrek 2 today. It was a really cute movie. I wanna see it again. I didn't do much other than that.

I havn't really been in a good mood today. I wish it would just go away. I don't wanna fall back into my previous state. :/ I'm such a fucked up person. I may be pretty, but I'm not perfect. I don't see how anyone could ever think I am perfect, or even close. I wish I could see what they all see.

I feel like everything I worked on in Snowden just disappeared. Maybe I should just go back. I was actually kinda happy with getting treatment and such. I wish something in my life was fucking fair. It would kinda help too if I didn't fuck up so much. Grrrrrr. I wanna cut and cry so bad. I can live without cutting. But ever since I have started the Zoloft it has become extremely hard to cry. This happend to my friend Jamie when she was on meds. It's really sucky.

Oh well.

Entangle me in hoplessness

Subject:	Well then...
Time:	11:20 pm.
Mood:	tired.
Music:	"Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect" The Decemberists.

I havn't updated this thing in a while. Hmmm let's see, where to begin. Sometime this week, my Baby Brittany came over. :-D I was very happy about that. I love laying with her soo much...*still smiling*. Thursday I went to her softball game. She did really good. Made 2 good hits, and some good steals. I didn't wanna leave, lol. I woulda asked for her to spend the night but Friday I had Partial. Speaking of Partial, yesterday was my last day. It's a shame too, cuz it is a lot of fun. I met some really awsome people. It really helped me a lot too. I am sooo glad I went! *Happy Dance* I will miss it. Last night Brittany spent the night. :] It was so wonderful. Laying with her, and falling asleep with her is something I missed so fuckin much, and now I got to do that last night! Yay! I was very happy. But very sad when she left. I really didn't want her to leave! *wimpers* I must pull myself together. Hehe. That might take a while. So today, I did some clean up stuff...not too much, just spread mulch. But we gots $25 for it, plus a nice dinner. During this week, me, Tim, and Logan are gonna paint the curbs and parking numbers. That will take a whole lotta time, and we shall make a whole lotta money. :] I can't wait to get my bass. I'm so excited..I'm gonna have so much fun. Woot.

I guess that's all I really have to say. Laterz.

Oh almost forgot...I went and saw Harry Potter (yes again) with Brittany, Christine and her daddy. It was pretty fun. Brit kept wantin me and Christine to kiss, lol. So we finally did, just for her. It was all good. Christine is pretty cool. I'm glad I met her, and she lives so close by! Woot! I love friends. :]

Entangle me in hoplessness

Subject:	Hmm.
Time:	10:30 pm.
Mood:	happy.
Music:	none; family is watchin a movie..

I don't feel like writing much, so I guess I shall be very brief.

I went to Snowden from the 2nd, up until the 9th. I feel better than ever, besides a few occasional depressed moods; but I guess that is normal. I feel stupendous about getting better. I'm in the Partial Program at Snowden until, I think, Friday. The councelers and everyone else said I am a good patient, and that I do very good. :] That makes me happy. Hehe.

Yesterday, my Baby Brittany came over. Words can't express how happy I was. I love her so much. I never would have thought I would be with her again. But I am glad I was wrong. ;] We laid together in my room. It was very very nice. And I kissed her again!! I absolutely love kissing her, and laying with her. Just being with her. It is the best feeling in the whole entire world. :]

I miss all of my friends and teachers. I kinda wish I could go back to school before the year is over. *Sigh* Oh well I guess. I got a nice plaque from Mrs Saylor though! An "Academic Acheivement Award" for Geometry. Cuz I scored the hightest on...something. Don't know what though.

I love my new room!! The ceiling is dark pink with clouds. One wall is light pink; the other is light blue; another is light purple; and the last one is light green. I like the change in environment, and the colors are very pretty. I don't think I can put all those posters up again; it'd cover up my pretty wall.

*Happy sigh* I am in such a good mood. I am sooooo glad to be home and happy again. :] I feel excited for something...but I don't know what. *ponders*

That is all for now.

To all my loving friends: I miss you all very very much, and I love you guys very very much!! *muahs* *X*O*X*O*

Brittany: I love you with a very, very strong, most intense-est-er passion that swells up every inch of my heart and soul. Ohhhh I think I won that time.
Brittany::1 Jessi::1

Heh Heh Heh.

<3 Jessi

2 Deteriorated

Entangle me in hoplessness