i love mudvayne   
01:41am 09/09/2003
  "World So Cold"

When passion's lost and all the trust is gone,
Way too far, for way too long
Children crying, cast out and neglected,
Only in a world so cold, only in a world
This cold
Hold the hand of your best friend, look into their eyes
Then watch them drift away
Some might say, we've done the wrong things,
For way too long, for way too long

Fever inside the storm,
So I'm turning away.
Away from the name
(Calling your names)
Away from the stones
(Throw sticks and stones)
'Cause I'm through mending the wounds of us

Keep your thorns
'Cause I'm running away,
Away from the games
(Fucking head games)
Away from the space
(Hate this head space)
The circumstances of a world so cold

burning whispers, Remind me of the days,
I was left alone, in a world this cold
Guilty of the same things, provoked by
The cause,
I've left alone, in a world so cold
Fever inside the storm,
So I'm turning away.
Away from the name
(Calling your names)
Away from the stones
(Throw sticks and stones)
'Cause I'm through mending the wounds of us

Keep your thorns
'Cause I'm running away,
Away from the games
(Fucking head games)
Away from the space
(Hate this head space)
The circumstances of a world so cold

I'm flying, I'm flying away,
Away from the names
(Calling your names)
Away from the games
(Fucking head games)
The circumstances of a world so cold

Why does everyone feel like my enemy,
Don't want any part of depression or
Darkness, I've had enough
sick and tired, bring the sun, or I'm gone,
Or I'm gone

I'm backing out, I'm no pawn,
No mother-fucking slave to this,
Never lied
Never left
Never lived
Never loved
Never lost
Never hurt
Never worry about being me, or anyone else
Not a care, no concern, don't give a shit about
Anything

Backing out, giving up, no mother-fucking
Slave to this,
Never lied
Never left
Never lived
Never loved
Never lost
Never hurt
Never worry about being me, or anyone lese
Not a care, no concern, don't give a shit about
Anything,

I need to find a darkened corner,
A lightless corner,
Where it's safer and calmer,

I'm turning away.
Away from the name
(Calling your names)
Away from the stones
(Throw sticks and stones)
'Cause I'm through mending the wounds of us

Keep your thorns
'Cause I'm running away,
Away from the games
(Fucking head games)
Away from the space
(Hate this head space)
The circumstances of a world so cold

I'm flying, I'm flying away,
Away from the names
(Calling your names)
Away from the games
(Fucking head games)
The circumstances of a world so cold
 
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wow i havent written in this damn thing in forever...   
01:09am 09/09/2003
  um alots been going on...i went out of town for a while came home and my gf had a hickey on her neck that was effin huge...everyone says she fucked her ex....the boy that threatened to kill me a real long time ago...um my parents sold the business...i found a new job....did my 1st drag show,,,i think it went well to be honest....and thats about it...shorter version of course

oh and bradlys a bitch cause he doesnt update ever
 
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03:36pm 17/07/2003
 
mood: blah
music: some shit on the radio
you dissapoint me...i cant prove it but i know you had a part in it...and as far as everyone else goes your all assholes...not that you care or anything like that...but i took melissa eleanors and lisa's advice and did what would make me happy...if you cant be happy for me then fuck you...if you have to be stupid and childish and pull the bullshit that your trying to pull then go for it...but your not going to piss me off and your not going to get to me i really dont care anymore...
 
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09:29pm 08/07/2003
  so yea...i miss krista...i saw her today and it was reallllllllllly hard....  
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08:09pm 16/05/2003
 
mood: aggravated
you need to mind your own business and stay the fuck out of mine
 
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wow that sucks more than anything   
02:59am 25/04/2003
 
mood: gloomy
i dont know what id do if it happened to me...all i can say is im sorry and i wish i couldve been there with you
 
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"friends or whatever else"   
03:10pm 23/04/2003
 
mood: disappointed
music: evanescence....i know im addicted
i never mean for these things to happen...i know that sounds lame and over used but its true....im sorry i hurt you but i didnt know what else to do....
 
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dont try to fix me...im not broken   
08:44am 21/04/2003
 
mood: confused
music: evanescence
so i dont read or update my journal often......um lets see whats been going on in my life????(not that its an interest to any of you)....krista and i got together again....not dating just got together....it was nice...i miss her alot though...lacey wants to hook up but im just not feeling that its fair for me to do that when im not completely into it.....dont get me wrong i love the girl to death....weve literally been through life and death together.....she cried soooooo much the other night when i talked to her on the phone because shes "in love with me".....i dont know what to do....i know that krista and i wont be anything more than what we are...not for a long time at least...and i can deal with that...but im not sure if i could be faithful to lacey or whatever as long as krista and i keep going the way we are....and i really dont want us to stop...i guess its because i care about her so much....so it unfair to lacey for me to do that....i dont know maybe im letting my conscience get the best of me....anyone else know what i should do ?
 
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hahhahahahhahhaaha   
03:11pm 10/04/2003
 
mood: cold
music: radio
aids



You Should Give Your Ex AIDS!


Wow, your ex must have really hurt you.

You loathe this guy extremely.

Give him AIDS and his immune system will soon get so weak that even a little cold can kill him.



What STD Should You Give Your Ex?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
 
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my song for you...if you keep your shit up your gonna end up like the rest of this song...   
04:05pm 07/04/2003
 
mood: crappy
your already the fisrt couple of verses.....sorry babe but thats how i see you,,,and everyone else sees it the same.....you need to stop while your still ahead...or your going to wind up dead....i dont want to see you in the gutter some place when i turn on the news...

You wonda why they call U bi**h
You wonda why they call U bi**h
You wonda why they call U bi**h
You wonda why they call U bi**h
You wonda why they call U bi**h
You wonda why they call U bi**h

Look here Miss Thang
Hate to salt your game
But yous a money hungry woman
And you need to change.

In tha locker room
All the homies do is laugh.
High five's cuz anotha ni**a
Played your a*s.

It was said you were sleeezy
Even easy
Sleepin around for what
You need

See it's your thang
And you can shake it how you wanna
Give it up free
Or make your money on the corner

But don't be bad and play the game
Get mad and change
Then you wonda why these muthaf**kas
Call you names

Still lookin' for a way out
And that's OK
I can see you wanna stray
There's a way out

Keep your mind on your money
Enroll in school
And as the years pass by
You can show them fools

But you ain't tryin' to hear me
Cuz your stuck
You're headin' for the bathroom
'bout to get tossed up

Still lookin' for a rich man
You dug a ditch
Got your legs up
Tryin' to get rich

I love you like a sista
But you need to switch
And that's why they called
U bi**h, I betcha

You leave your kids with your mama
Cuz your headin' for the club
In a skin tight miniskirt
Lookin' for some love

Got them legs wide open
While you're sittin' at the bar
Talkin' to some ni**a
'bout his car

I guess he said he
Had a Lexxxus, what's next?
You headin' to his car for some sex

I pass by
Can't hold back tears inside
Cuz, lord knows
For years I tried

And all the other people
On my block hate your guts
Then you wonda why they stare
And call you slut

It's like your mind don't understand
You don't have to kill your
Dreams ploten'
Schemes on a man

Keep your head up, legs closed, eyes open
Either a ni**a wear a rubber or he die smokin'
I'm hearin' rumors so you need to switch
And ni**as wouldn't call you bi**h, I betcha

I guess times gettin' hard
Even harder for you
Cuz, hey now, got a baby
On the way now

More money from the county
And thanks to the welfare
You're about to
Get your hair done

Got a dinner date
Can't be late
Trick or treat, sweet thang
Got anotha trick to meet

The way he did it
It was smooth
Plottin' while he gamin' you
So baby, peep tha rules

I shoulda seen it in the first case
The worst case
I shoulda never called you back
In the first place

I remember back in high school
Baby you was fast
Straight sex
And barely move your a*s

But now things change
Cuz you don't look the same
Let the ghetto get the best of you
Baby, that's a shame

Caught HIV and now you 'bout to be deceased
And finally be in peace

So where your ni**as at now
Cuz everybody left
They stepped
And left you on your own

See I loved you like a sista
But you died to quick
And that's why we called U bi**h, I betcha.

Dear Ms. Deloris Tucker
Keep stressen me
f**kin' with a muthaf**ken mind
I figured you wanted to know
You know
Why we call them hos bi**hes
And maybe this might help you understand
It ain't personal
Strictly business baby
Strictly business

So If you wonder why we call U bi**h
You wonder why we call U bi**h
If you wonder why we call U bi**h
You wonder why we call U bi**h
 
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recap of the weekend...actually let do the week   
12:52pm 06/04/2003
 
mood: bored
i did the normal things running around til all hours of the night and being dumb through the week....this weekend however was not the normal thing...i spent pretty much all of it with lacey and ellenor....friday was the play so we rocked that....then i played double d for the night, because everyone decided to get high...i wasnt so i drove....i lost my wallet at the flower shop and we had to go back after it...then we went to moms and lacey hung out with krista for a long time...we left and went back to motown to sleep and then saturday we went to mount morris and got adreas car light fixed...then everyone decided to get drunk around 7...so we got drunk and everyone was being so dumb....lacey played the double d and ellenor and mary puked out the doors and roxan got ready for the club and then told me it was too bad lacey liked me because she couldnt do that to a friend...all ive got to say is damn....
 
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09:48am 03/04/2003
  i think it just hit me that kevin is fighting in this stupid war...i hope hes ok...i just want him to come home safe  
     Post
 
   
08:48am 03/04/2003
 
mood: bored
music: stuff on the radio
well last night...without reading my post...bradly called me and we went out for pizza and did our stupid normal things...driving around looking at cars and houses and then we tried to get lost and it just didnt work....so natalie and genis (gyna) called us and we went with them to motown for like 3 minutes and then we picked up bradlys mom...after we drove around the parking garage for like 15 minutes...well bradly forgot his phone on the booth thingy so we had to go back and get it and then i slept all the way home....i had a fun night...when i got home i slept more and now im at work....i didnt have school today so im working...anyway all of you have a good day...im hoping to....i wish bradly werent in school....him and heath are cute together,,,ok im leaving for real now...
 
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06:15pm 02/04/2003
  for some reason im in the worst mood ever...i think im a scitzo sometimes...i know im not but damn these mood swings gotta go.....i need sleep...im worried about things and cant sleep....theres so much shit going on and nothing i can do about it...i know its not my problem but i really do want to help...i dont know what there is left to do anymore...  
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its april fuckin fools day bitches   
01:06am 01/04/2003
 
mood: angry
hmm...im not sure how i feel about anything anymore....im almost to the point where i cant stand anyone...i dont want to go to school because i know that people will put me in a worse mood...i care about my friends...dont get me wrong but im so easily pissed off anymore...i feel so bad for chrissy and chelsie and i want to help them but i dont know how or if they want my help.bradlys got a bf now and no time for me....i just finished the speech i was writing because i got so mad i decided not to finish it and then i decided i might as well finish it cause i dont want to fail.....i wrote a really mean rap about someone...i cant wait til this weekend is over...no matter how much i miss her shes still the same old person and she wont ever change,.,,,and thats just something i cant deal with right now...there are so many more things i need to worry about...ex graduating,,,anyhow i need to sleep even though i slept for almost the whole day....night kids and bitches should die...."they just aint worth it" to quote a fellow blurty journal writer
 
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04:39pm 27/03/2003
 
mood: depressed
music: evanescense
"Going Under"

now i will tell you what i've done for you
50 thousand tears i've cried
screaming deceiving and bleeding for you
and you still won't hear me
don't want your hand this time i'll save myself
maybe i'll wake up for once
not tormented daily defeated by you
just when i thought i'd reached the bottom
i'm dying again

i'm going under
drowning in you
i'm falling forever
i've got to break through
i'm going under

blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
so i don't know what's real and what's not
always confusing the thoughts in my head
so i can't trust myself anymore
i'm dying again

i'm going under
drowning in you
i'm falling forever
i've got to break through

so go on and scream
scream at me i'm so far away
i won't be broken again
i've got to breathe i can't keep going under
 
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12:09am 25/03/2003
 
mood: blah
I started out on the wrong foot, now I'm not myself
I am Jekyll, I am Hyde, found this place to hide, come seek me
Oh, so up and down, so back and forth, so insecure
Can't get this taste out of my mouth, swallow it down, pretend

And hold it, hold it all in
Let it build up, oh, build a bomb
And blow it, blow it away
And clear it all out, just end it

I'm just a normal person without those problems, when did it change?
Admission so embarrassing, I'm on the verge of tears again

I'll hold it, I'll hold it all in
I'll let it build up, oh, build a bomb
And blow it, blow it away
And clear it all out, just end it

Oh look, I took the band aid off. did I take it off too soon
Hysterical confession, my big courage is blue

Don't gasp at the predictable, a comforting lie can't last
Preordained checklist of this awkward love it's so sad

Oh, hold it, hold it all in
Let it build up, oh, build a bomb
And blow it, blow it away
And clear it all out, just end it
And sort it, sort it out
Oh, just give it back, no thank you
And toss it, toss it away
Eliminate, just give up

I, I can't decide this tug of war
I'm feeling weak, yeah
 
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11:56pm 24/03/2003
  i miss her...it took today to realize just how much  
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11:38pm 19/03/2003
 
mood: annoyed
war is stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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12:34pm 19/03/2003
 
mood: angry
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~i fucking hate my school and all of kristas friends....sorry just needed to vent
 
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