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Tom the milkman

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[23 Oct 2003|12:38pm]
Today Chrissie bit me on the head, because i was writing some mean things on the internet about her. I think Tim would agree with my comments though. Perhaps it was a punishment for sending my kitties to sleep...permanently.
I love christina more than kittens. she doesn't have hair on her shoulders.
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I enjoy kissing midget's little hands [22 Oct 2003|10:09am]
Dear Diary,
I can't stop obsessing over on how dirty my kitties are :(
I should of wrapped them up in plastic before i buried them. Now the soil is spoiling their rotting fur. I miss sharing my milk :( Perhaps I should steal... I mean 'borrow' Kibbles from christina and share my milk with him. But i think the little shit hates me now because I made fun of his ginger cat girlfriend.
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[14 Oct 2003|10:47pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | The Birdie Song ]

Man I really feel like some milk right now but theres only enough left for either me or the kittens. Oh well looks like the little shits will have to starve. Perhaps i could feed them asprin as a substitute.

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I can't stop stroking the pussy [14 Oct 2003|12:25pm]
[ mood | and hopeful ]
[ music | Some Gansta' Shit! ]

I miss talking to Gemma. But she's so scary when she screams. I'm afraid she will kill me with her green wellies. I still do miss her though. She has nicer hair than me and Tim put together. I envy her.
I like playing with my cat and penis. But it's not easy playing with both at the same time. Once I shot Mister Whiskers in the ear. the vets was very indeed pissed at me. But I just told her to shut up and if she wants me to pay for the goddamn medical bills she should put out. That's what I'm talking about. Bam! Vets are soooo hot. But not as hot as me.
Christina caught me with my trousers around my ankles. I asked her to switch off the tele.

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[13 Oct 2003|12:29pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | Boyzone ]

Dear diary,
I feel so alone. Friday night was good I suppose. They played brilliant music, such as Abba and Celine Dion, and I had such fun dancing to them but... I don't know. I just wish I could of taken someone home on my milk float that night. I feel afraid that I'm not attractive anymore. I can't grow a moustache like Pat Mustard. I feel so cursed. I'll never be sexy.
-Sigh- Chrissie took great care of my kittens. But I threatened to kill hers.... I'm a naughty bastard. I couldn't stop crying. I should tell her I'm really sorry and that I am a tit. Her hair is really bouncy and shiny. I have to ask her what conditioner she uses because my hair has been lacking a certain je ne sais quoi. -Sigh- I really do feel bad. I think I'm going to sit by the fire with the three cats with my favourite pair of furry slippers and a book. I'm such a tit.

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My first entry [10 Oct 2003|10:30am]
Dear Diary,
This mornings rounds were very stressful. The kittens wouldn't stop crying!!!
I got up early this morning to deliver the community's milk and hadn't had time to have a proper breakfast. So I was very indeed pissed at the locals, but I still delivered all the milk with a smile.
All my friends think I have a gorgeous smile. But why haven't I had a date for what seems like forever! Maybe I should just switch on the 'tomanator' and head off to the clubs tonight! PAR-TAY! Wooooooo! I enjoy dancing and pelvic thrusts. But who will look after the kittens tonight? Maybe I should give Chrissie a ring and ask her if she would take care of them tonight.
BYE BYE DIARY! Or should I say dairy! LOL....OMG!!!!111...WTF1!!!11!!1!11!
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