Entertainment Weekly #720 ; July 25, 2003 Entertainment Weekly #720 ; July 25, 2003 Entertainment Weekly #720 ; July 25, 2003 Entertainment Weekly #720 ; July 25, 2003 Entertainment Weekly #720 ; July 25, 2003 Entertainment Weekly #720 ; July 25, 2003 Entertainment Weekly #720 ; July 25, 2003 Entertainment Weekly #720 ; July 25, 2003

Saturday, September 20th, 2003

Finish Time:1:11 pm.
Mood: awake.
Music:B2K feat. P. Diddy - Bump, Bump, Bump.
has left the building


you're never too far behind to come back.
Friday, September 19th, 2003

Finish Time:8:52 am.
Mood: lonely.
Music:Brooke Allison - I Miss You.
"I miss you, so bad tonight.
You were the one who loved me, and helped me, and tried ...
In everyway, I miss you, so bad tonight."

I don't really mean all that in that way, but I do miss you, Brooke. Hearing your voice made me realize that so much more. :\ The set is really empty without you around, even though we're nearly done. Here's more hope towards SM3.

you're never too far behind to come back.
Wednesday, September 10th, 2003

Finish Time:2:10 pm.
Mood: crappy.
I've fucked up yet again.

::As he stands and retreats to his left, his form leans over towards the side of the armchair he now sat upon, slowly opening the small trinket box upon the cherrywood coffee table. Fingers delicately laced upon a small-sized cigar, almost hesitantly, before tweaking the bit of it then placing it past his lips. A silver lighter soon careen within his palm, and with a -click-, the small fire ignited. Placing the flame just at the tip of the smoke, eyes gestured up to the ceiling, then slid to a close as he took a subtle drag.::

So much for that.

13 took the rideyou're never too far behind to come back.
Thursday, September 4th, 2003

Finish Time:11:27 pm.
Mood: contemplative.
Music:Norah Jones - I've Got To See You Again.
Wanted to note ... that I am indeed back "home."

Forgive me if I don't answer my calls or anything of the sort. I need a little "me" time.

There's far too much on my mind. . .

5 took the rideyou're never too far behind to come back.
Tuesday, September 2nd, 2003

Finish Time:12:30 am.
Mood: contemplative.
Music:...Milla drinking my Mango Madness..
Random note-age to one's self.

I think it's horrible to feel so romantic, and a need to want to be romantic, but have no one that you can be romantic with.

Did that make sense? ... I suppose.

Having fun in Tahiti; Milla came in today, while Brooke seems to have wandered off. I'm extending our trip to Wednesday night, or perhaps even Thursday morning. Leave me a message if "you" need me -- Whoever "you" are.

37 took the rideyou're never too far behind to come back.
Monday, September 1st, 2003

Finish Time:11:52 pm.
Mood: amused.
Which smiley... )

... Ahaa.

Edit More.

How horny... )

Whore?... )

42 took the rideyou're never too far behind to come back.

Finish Time:1:44 am.
Mood: sleepy.
Tahiti. Nice place, but I wouldn't want to live here. Well ... Maybe in a decade or three.

Brooke and I arrived early afternoon, and had a late brunch. Light conversation, as always; it was nice to see her smile again. I missed that on the set, even if it was a brief time those months ago. She spoke of her troubles, and I could see the hope of dismissal in her face, however subtle. She seems well, though. ...

Mid-afternoon, we swept off to our condo for the few days near the beach. The body of water was a mere twenty or so feet away, which was more than just a luxurious convenience -- it was also a killer view. And this pool ... Man, this pool is awesome. No words, really. Just look at it. Brooke was ecstatic to be some place so exotic. She mentioned being on vacation somewhere like this before, but not Tahiti itself. It was nice to be with someone who seemed to excited over glorious nature, as stupid as it may sound.

Later, we retreated to our condo. She seemed particularly ... quieter at night. We watched television, she sprawled out on one of the couches and myself on another, and eventually, she made way over and curled herself against me, murmuring things about how she wished "things would get better already" and how "confused" she was about particular items. I just gave her short, reassuring words, nestling her hair behind her ear and again, until she eventually fell asleep. I didn't want to move her, but I did the "brotherly" thing, bringing her to her bed and tucked her in, so now she's asleep in the next room, and I'm here in my room, dabbing on the laptop like a blundering idiot who can't get sleep. ::Quietly sighs to himself, eyes rolling in their sockets before nestling shut for a short while; as he blinks, he stares at the screen, sniffling.::

My left nostril is stuffed. Oh, how I hate it when that happens.

Might as well try to get some sleep, anyway. Playing tourist is so much more fun at eight in the morning.

12 took the rideyou're never too far behind to come back.
Saturday, August 30th, 2003

Finish Time:12:19 am.
Mood: amused.
Hello. Leonardo DiCaprio is my best friend and I love him to death.

The end.

+++ Oh yeah. Check out the Official Spider-Man 2 website today.

13 took the rideyou're never too far behind to come back.
Friday, August 29th, 2003

Finish Time:10:43 am.
Mood: mellow.
I think it would be super cool if someone made my friend's page move.

+ Might as well write a little something; since my arrival home, I've slowly nestled back into my humble solace, but ... I feel as though something, or things, I have said in the past five days are relatively stupid. Maybe not in general, but just ... for myself.

I've realized that ... it's true : sometimes you need to make time for yourself, and stay home, and just ... waste time. Waste time well spent on someone so deserving sometimes whom we often forget -- ourselves. I've direly tried to make "everyone" happy, here and there, but some of my efforts have failed. Regardless, I'm definitely home for a short while, however it seems Brooke wants to go to Tahiti. ... ::Smiles:: I guess ... I'm going to Tahiti for a few days in the very not-so-distant future of this week.

I like things being mellow as they are, though. Being alone isn't so bad.

Although. ... Franco seems to have something on his mind that he can't quite bring out to me. Hmm.

7 took the rideyou're never too far behind to come back.
Sunday, August 24th, 2003

Finish Time:10:32 am.
Mood: uncomfortable.
Music:Evanescence - Solitude.
Before I leave, a song.

Evanescence - Solitude )

10 took the rideyou're never too far behind to come back.
Friday, August 22nd, 2003

Finish Time:1:02 am.
Mood: contemplative.
Music:Danny Elfman - Alone.
It's been two weeks since I generated an entry truly worth something -- Something to give myself a read aside from the normal antics and hi-jinx of regularity and that of the sort. Natalie's already fast asleep in her room across the hall, tuckered out from the long day we had. It was ... rather enjoyable, actually. After the events of last night [ which, I will elaborate on further down the way ] we decided to initiate carpe diem -- to seize the day, primarily at the beach; yes, that is indeed a man fishing in the picture. .. I couldn't help it. Sort of reminded me of my father, in a sense ... but anyway, the water was pretty damn cold, but not too. It was sort of like a warped dream, or malfunct version of Temptation Island with all the lackeys running around in two pieces and thongs, hard-rock bodies and whatnot of the nature. It was amusing, to say the least, and it almost seemed too perfect that Natalie and I failed to stand out amongst the charmed crew. With the humble crowd that encompass the sandy shores and tranquil sea, we were nothing more than a mildly built man of 5'8", and petite subtle beauty. Just the way I like it. Nice and unnoticeable ... for the most part.

Regardless, we swam and "played" in the water for hours on end, stopping between for lunch and breaks, just enjoying the scenery. Given she tried to drown me once, twice or ten times, but I matched her full-wittingly. ::Grins to himself:: I'll show you, "Padme"! It was a change for her, I'd think, because George had been nice enough to lay her off for the greater remainder of the day. She'd only seen so much as past her suite doors, and the various sets and scenery specifically sighted for the film. Luckily enough, I was able to get a sneak peak at some of these in particular and I can't say anything more than they're sheerly beautiful, earthly montages; George knows his stuff when it comes to environmental scenes. Anyway, off the tangent and back to reality, we had dinner, lounged over coffee and tea, then retreated to our respectable suites. Great day, honestly.

So I guess this is the part where I speak of last night -- or don't speak of last night. Natalie and I were just returning from my pickup from the airport, and a quick stop for ice cream and I got a phone call from Kiki. I... ::A crane of the neck gave way, as his eyes slowly careen to the left, peeking at the cellular phone upon it's charger in the near-distance. A barely audible beep come from it, the minuscule light blinking as well as the screen flashing a name. His eyes swirl back towards the laptop before he, continuing:: ..Hn. I've changed my mind .. at least, momentarily. On elaborating that is. ::He pauses, reclining in his chair, however palms never fleeing entirely from reach of the keyboard. A loose wisp of his bangs falls just between dual eyes as he pauses almost unnaturally, then continuing:: ... It was just something that was rather unexpected, but .. logistic, I suppose. All that rings in my head now, is the scene I had with James in Spider-Man ...

"It's just, you never made a move, Pete." "You're right. ... I didn't."

I'd intially intended this entry to be more generous, but... it's just not going to happen. At least, not tonight.


9 took the rideyou're never too far behind to come back.
Thursday, August 21st, 2003

Finish Time:1:37 pm.
Mood: amused.
Music:Nirvana - Mr. Moustache.
Short update. Very.

I'll be extending my stay in Australia two more days, so I'll basically be back in L.A. by Sunday afternoon.

For now, she and I are going to check out the beaches, then possibly elope with a feral marsupial. G'day!

4 took the rideyou're never too far behind to come back.
Wednesday, August 20th, 2003

Finish Time:2:52 am.
... Change of plans.

I'm leaving for Australia in approximately two hours. Natalie, I'll give you a ring when I've arrived.

To everyone else, I'll be gone for roughly two days, but you can call or IM or text me if you need to.

See you around.

12 took the rideyou're never too far behind to come back.
Sunday, August 17th, 2003

Finish Time:12:40 am.
Mood: mellow.
One. Natalie is adorable, and she must come visit me soon.

Two. Leo's assumption of my being "sexually frustrated" is wrong. ... Yes.

Three. Jimmy is a dog. Well, at least he was tonight. Haha.

Four. I miss her already.

Five. I hope she isn't still mad at me.

The end.

4 took the rideyou're never too far behind to come back.
Saturday, August 16th, 2003

Finish Time:12:30 am.
Mood: contemplative.
"I wanted to tell her everything."

"There's just so much to tell."

17 took the rideyou're never too far behind to come back.
Thursday, August 14th, 2003

Finish Time:2:53 am.
Mood: awake.
Music:Randy Newman - To The Line.
I finally accomplished my long, personally-awaited layout. Please check it out, because I'm quite proud and adore it as much as I possibly could in accordance to being remotely humble.

Leo is on his way back into our world once again, streaming away from the hustle and bustle of the "biz." Do welcome him back, hm?

Nothing much more to say at the moment, other than my initial posse are running amuck this very minute. God, I really love you people. ::Chuckles:: Good-night.

P.S. • Why do women love to torture me so? ... There's one in particular by the name of KIRSTEN that looooves to see me squirm. Gee whiz, mommy Kiki. So harsh on the heart. ::Clench of the fist over shirt::

P.S.S • ... I'm sorry.

32 took the rideyou're never too far behind to come back.
Wednesday, August 13th, 2003

Finish Time:10:50 pm.
Mood: amused.
Music:Beethoven - Symphony No. 5 [ 1st Movement ].
Kiki likes to kiss my balls for luck.


11 took the rideyou're never too far behind to come back.
Sunday, August 10th, 2003

Finish Time:9:09 pm.
Mood: sick.
Music:Nirvana - On A Plain.
Franco, you dog.

5 took the rideyou're never too far behind to come back.
Thursday, August 7th, 2003

Finish Time:2:29 pm.
Mood: aggravated.
Music:Evanescence - Farther Away.
...None of this was meant to happen.

Ryan. I appreciate you more than you could possibly understand, man.. Just don't stick up for me. Stick up for your family. I'm good. Same goes to everyone else. Really.

As far as everything else goes ... people need to back off. That's all I'm saying.

Don't push your luck. I don't care who you are, and what you represent, but if it doesn't concern you directly, then don't get on my tail. This is between myself, and the appropriate parties. This isn't highschool, for God's sake.

you're never too far behind to come back.

Finish Time:1:06 am.
Mood: numb.
Music:John Coltrane - Dedicated To You.
... I hurt. Immensely.

::He sat, closely pinned to the wall within the hallway of his quiet home. Lights were out, and those which were not were dimmed severely, casting little shadows upon the interior and it's decor. A tape recorder lay nestled within his palm quite loosely - the mildly rough fingertips barely pressed upon the plastic of the buttons. All that could be heard was the faint mellow tones of John Coltrane in the far background, and the small recorder with it's wheels winding, recording every second as it passed. A heavy sigh passed his broken lip, soon followed by a hacking cough.::

... Another alternative to journal proceedings. ::A rattle to the contraption was given, arm then falling back to rest against the chilly floor.:: Tape recording. If you're "listening" to this right now, that means I've gotten off of my ass and converted it onto the computer for all to hear before passing out. ... Something like that. ::His voice remained at a low toned manner the whole time, barely indicating emotion whatsoever.:: There's just so much to tell ... So much that's happened and I couldn't bare typing it out tonight. ... Even if I could.

My hands ... tainted with pulping blood. Most of my own. Some of his as well. ... Yes, that's right, folks. Chasez finally approached me about the occurance with Christina. Let's just say it wasn't pretty. ::Eyes traveled to the left most corners of their cubicles as his face contorted, spitting upon the floor; a mix of blood and mucus dripped onto the wooden finish, ringing in the recorder's playback.:: ...excuse me. ::His palm careen across his mouth dawdlingly; the wrist catching all of the leftover spat upon his lips. Eyes slid shut in utter pain, and he adjusted himself enough to remain comfortable for the most part.:: ...I told him I didn't want to fight. I never ... wanted to fight. I'd like to say that I'm not one to get into that state of mind, but so much has happened in the last half-year, and I've done things that I'm not particularly proud of. This, however ... fell right into that bitter and inescapable hole of shit and tard.

::Huffs of breath came from him as the tape rattled again; this body tense with immeasurable pain from the various blows to his muscles and limbs - the dry blood splattered upon his attire.:: It wasn't pretty. ... It was all by surprise. He ... he just came up to me, screaming; Infuriated with .. just the sight of me. He blamed me for his not being able to touch his own wife. For not being able to "have sex" with her anymore. ::He shook his head, almost smiling in utter disgust:: ...Whatever. I don't feel that I should be blamed for incompetent sexual behavior, afterall. What's done was done, and is done, and I've apologized countless times, gotten over the hill from under it, and even done my own personal penance. ... If they only knew how many times I'd wanted to ... to just toss myself over a bridge, or drink liquor until my eyes fell out of their sockets.

If they only knew.

But no. I wanted to keep myself stable. I wanted to sustain what little pride I had left, and what I felt I'd deserved. ... It seems I needed a reminder. A hurtful and appraising one at that. A lack of ingenuity was apparent, and I still held myself back ... but he hit. He hit hard.

And I matched him for every blow. I gave the last punch. Every blow was one unto myself, however ... I repeat. I'd never wanted it to be this way. Again... I blame myself for even going to this point. For hitting back and retaliating, harder and harder. I wanted to deeply hurt him, for hurting me. ... In a way, I felt as if I was hurting myself, for hurting her...

But his words rang through my head over, and over ...

"So it's either you fight back, or I'll kick the shit out of you"

::That smug, yet charmingly defined smile crept upon his face; lids slid over, barely allowing his eyes a moment to peer across to the empty wall. A tone changed within his vocal, surprisingly enough.:: What more could I do, but let this be over with? I don't know ... I really don't. Just when things were starting to look up, my tender, tiny rain cloud decided to stream over head once more. ::Yet again, another huff came, and a shuffle gave way as his shoulders shrugged. A grousing wince came forth, as did another smirk.:: ...Damn.

So many .. complications right now. I'd gone out with the group for a day of complete and utter fun, then kept busy with Franco and Kiki during filming, only to come home to crap. Things such as making sure Brooke is all right after the whole Spider-Man two thing, or .. that Brittany is eating correctly seemed so much easier when things started to get heavy again. It's bad enough I've lost contact with Zhang, but this ... "thing" going on with Milla. ::He paused, allowing ten seconds of time between words, indicating much contemplation of what to say:: ...I can't even tag it because I just don't know. I find myself ... getting jealous. Feeling like I'm not needed. I read her journal, though - And she spoke otherwise. Why don't I feel it though? Am I so ... so self-emerged that I can't even see what's going on around me? Am I so ... repugnantly appalled by her finding interest in someone else other than the misleading love of her life that I can't stand the mere thought of her finding solace within someone else?! ... ::He sighed, dropping the conversation entirely. His vocal mood seemed to change.::

I don't know what I feel anymore. Not about anything outside of business, that's for sure. ... At least, not right now.

::The right index finger careened over the "stop" button repetitiously, contemplating whether to discharge the recording or not. The din of his rising from the floor crinkled and supported by mild grousing beneath his heavy breath. Eyes winced like before, beholding a tenth fold of pain in his facial s. His body ached, beaten to a numbness he'd not felt for a long while now. His good arm supported his stride down the hall, as lethargic as it was; the rough palm frisking against the wall with his stagger. He sat the tape recorder down upon the night stand as he reached his room - his body falling onto the plush contour of the bed sheets and comforter. The music still echoed within the vicinity, and his body shuffled within the sheets, attempting to feel at ease with his locality. Right arm extended towards the night stand, grasping the recorder and holding it before his hand, voice dropping to a mild tone of a whisper.:: ...I want to remind myself of what happened today. A reminder of what I don't want to be, or become, or allow myself to reduce to.

Christ. Sam's going to hand my ass over to me on a stick when he sees my face.

Bruises fade . . . but the pain remains the same.

::His index finger pressed inward upon that same "stop" button. The wheel's churning ceased movement, and his sore limbs gave their utter last energy, returning the small contraption to the night stand. Hand nestled lightly upon his chest, breath lightly passing through his lungs and nostrils, eyes sliding shut.::

13 took the rideyou're never too far behind to come back.

Perchance to Dream ; back 20 entries.

Back to the Gates

• S H A Z A A M ! •

Hello. My name's Tobey Maguire; to some and such as my family, Tobias Vincent Maguire. My birthday is on June 27th, 1975, making me a prime candidate of the Cancer Sign. I'm originally from Santa Monica, California, now residing in the greater Los Angeles / Hollywood area. My best friend is Leonardo DiCaprio, and we sort of have this circle of friends in which we're infamously commonly known as "The Pussy Posse". :V This is my journal. If you don't like it, then don't read! You can contact me via Tobey Vince M if need be.

Anyway, how about some Tobey 101? Much do to my love for cooking, I wanted to take culinary arts while in school, however my mother bribed me to take acting instead. I met Leo while shooting for Parenthood. I have a humble ninth grade education, and not a good one at that, but I made up for it in due time. I like things such as playing dominoes and yoga, which I practice daily. I'm also a vegetarian. I do not drink, nor do I longer smoke. Call me clean, but I'm far from unexperienced. Healthnut Maguire! Okay, so I'm a member of the AA. So what? Any help is better than none, I say.

• The Inner Posse •

Leonardo DiCaprio • My best friend of over a decade now, it seems. I love you more than words can say, primarily for your support, inspiration and good times.
James Franco • The Robin that never was? Perhaps. My remote "partner in crime", the brother I never had, yet never wanted. Thanks for being there, man.
Kirsten Dunst • My pretty red-haired babe ; you will always and forever be the #1 leading lady in my life, aside my mother, and yours of course. Don't forget the pecan pie!
Elizabeth Banks • I never met another lady as charming as you, and in your own unique way. Never change, and I hope seeing my mug in three movies in a row didn't scare you too much.
Reese Witherspoon • My beautiful and talented "twin." I love your family like it were my own; never let your sparkle fade.
Milla Jovovich • Plain and simple : The Spongebob Twin, less the toe socks and booger-flinging action. I adore you.

• F I L M O G R A P H Y •

  • Spider-Man II ; 2004
  • Seabiscuit ; 2003
  • Spider-Man ; 2002
  • Cats & Dogs ; 2001
  • Don's Plum ; 2001
  • Wonder Boys ; 2000
  • Ride with the Devil ; 1999
  • The Cider House Rules ; 1999
  • Pleasantville ; 1998
  • Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas ; 1998
  • Deconstructing Harry ; 1997
  • The Ice Storm ; 1997
  • Joyride ; 1996
  • Duke of Groove ; 1995
  • Empire Records ; 1995
  • Revenge of the Red Baron ; 1994
  • A Child's Cry for Help ; 1994
  • S.F.W. ; 1994
  • Spoils of War ; 1994
  • This Boy's Life ; 1993
  • The Wizard ; 1989

  • P R O D U C E R

    F I L M O G R A P H Y

    Maguire Entertainment

  • Rock of Ages ; 2003
  • Seabiscuit ; 2003
  • Whatever We Do ; 2003
  • 25th Hour ; 2002

  • N O W

    P L A Y I N G

    July 25, 2003

    • P H O T O S •

    w ; leo

    w ; leo

    w ; kiki

    w ; james

    w ; liz

    P E R S O N A L

    S O U N D T R A C K

    - Peter Yorn -

    - Chad Kroeger f/ Josey Scott -

    "Learn to Crawl"
    - Black Lab -

    "Somewhere Out There"
    - Our Lady Peace -

    "Let Go"
    - 12 Stones -

    "Caught in the Rain"
    - Revis -

    "Not Enough"
    - Our Lady Peace -

    "Somebody Else"
    - Bleu -

    "Back Up"
    - 12 Stones -