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Thursday, September 9th, 2004
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8:06 pm - Wow..
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funny how things always come back to haunt me... a girl i used to date (during one of mine and sandras break-ups) IM'ed me today... i was shocked, she hated me because she thought I cheated on her with sandra, and I never got the chance to explain to her... I remember the last time I saw her, I was standing by her car and she told me about how she knew i was cheating on her, and she just said, "have a nice day tim" closed th e door and drove away, it was the last time i heard from her... that was almost 2 years ago. but back to what i was saying about things coming back, like always all she raelly wanted to talk about was me and sandra... you know she told me sandra was nothing but trouble, actually everyone has told me that one time or another, I should've listened but no, I had to be hard-headed.. hehehe, to think of all the friends i've lost and relationships that could've actually gone somewhere that i've given up to be with her... I guess we learn from our mistakes, Its taken me a while but i think i've finally learned... well, heheh, I guess that's all I have to say, more later!
current mood:  surprised
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| Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
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7:13 pm - Perfect...
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Once again I managed to screw things up! jeez, im such a loser... I was in such a bad night last night and I kind of took it out on her, I was just pissed off about some stuff and I couldn't stop thinking about other stuff and I just wanted to talk to her but she was pre-occupied, I mean she barely said anything, I doubt she even wanted to talk to me, but now I know for sure she doesnt want to talk to me, she said so herself.. I called her when I got off work and we ... "talked" if thats what you want to call it, she was being really mean, and i dont blame her, I was being an asshole last night... but I asked if she even wanted to talk to me and she said "No" ... so I let her go and i tried to text her to see if she would text me back, but nothing... she's probably at work now, i was going to go up there but if she won't talk to me on the phone I seriously doubt she wants to see me... i swear if its nothing one thing... I mean its not like i cheated on her or anything, I just hung up on her cause she wasnt talking... I dunno, i guess she's tired of me... this sucks... ugh! i hate this crap... Ill try to talk to her again later.. im sure she's just going to end up breaking up with me... eh i suck as a boyfriend anyway... she's probably better off... more later.
current mood:  drained
current music: ...
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| Monday, September 6th, 2004
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8:58 pm - so sad....
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I dunno, for some reason I've been thinking ALOT, as you can see by my previous posts... I dont know, Im really not happy with myself... I think about all the things I've done and all the things I should've done, and it kills me because Its too late to be wondering "What if" its kinda pointless. I dont know man, Im so disgusted with everything. Im 22 years old and have no idea what im going to do with the rest of my life. I mean I could go back to school and get my degree, Id only have to go for what, one more year... but like everything else i got bored with that. You know another crazy thing? I hate being alone, but when people are aroudn I want them to leave. I like my job, but hate the people that work there. Its sad... Things weren't this complicated 10 years ago heheh, yeah things were great, no girlfriends, lived with my parents, went to school, had friends, didnt have to work... shit, id go back to that in a second. heheh yeah... good stuff. wish i could start over. Don t take all this the wrong way, im not like some depressed psycho whos going to try and commit suicide, i may not be happy with the way things are but i like life :) but yeah, im bored i guess ill go write a song or something.. more later.
current mood:  content
current music: What's my age again
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6:27 pm - thoughts
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I hate feeling like this, Im tired of doing the same things day in and day out. You know its sad how we often say things we don't mean, and by the time we realize it, it's too late. Its horrible how we only have one chance to make decisions that will effect our lives forever. We seldom realize that there will never be another chance, we only have one life, one short life. Lately it feels like the years go by like days, and the times I've spent are hardly memorible. I remember being with Sandra, I remember spending every waking moment with her, I remember everything, except how it felt. I couldn't tell you what we talked about, or how we spent our time, I couldn't tell you what it was like to hold her, to kiss her. It's only been 5 months, and its sad how something that went on for almost 5 years can end so abruptly. Everything was fine, I loved her with everything I had in me, and then one day everything turned around, and before I knew it, she was gone. She's not coming back either. I don't even think I want her to come back. I look at pictures and try to remember that day, what we did, where we went, but, I can't. It's as if it all meant nothing. I don't know, maybe Im just blocking it out. One thing I do know is, the events of the past 5 years have made me how Iam now. I know I act as though I have no reguard for people's feelings, I say things that are hurtful, but, I don't mean them. People are just so hard to get along with, they can be so hateful and judgemental. Im tired of playings these games, I wouldn't, but I have to protect myself, If I get too involved with someone, I know it's going to end badly. I don't know. Ill get over it, life goes on, right?
current mood:  frustrated
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| Sunday, September 5th, 2004
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10:19 pm - :::WARNING::: VENTING!
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ugh, I need to go back to my apartment I miss it... Its all alone... poor thing, I was there today, but for like 10 minutes.. ugh, I havn't been home all freeking week... my car is screwed up, but hopefully I can get it fixed after monday cause freeking monday is I think labor day... stupid hollidays UGH! I NEED TO GO HOME! Im so sad... Im going to change my phone numbers, im getting tired of pointless calls from people i dont like. Why would you call me just to like make fun of me?? I mean, not make fun of me, but to like ... try and put me down??? prehaps because Im doing much better than you?? hmmm...??? jealous??? Maybe because you've noticed I want nothing more to do with you... Ah, yes, another possibility... Maybe it's because Im happier without you???? Because I "WONT" answer the phone when you call?? I thought that if someone NEVER answered the phone and NEVER returned your calls it was a pretty good possibility they DONT want to talk to you, I know what your triyng to do, and believe me, its not going to work this time. It's over, let it be. Besides, Im sure your waaaaaayyyyy better off without me, ya know, no one to keep you out of trouble and watch your back and do anything you wanted, oh yeah, who the fuck would want that?!?!? i mean seriously. That's just un-heard of!!!! You selfish undeserving cold hearted bitch... I would say I hate you, but I dont, I honestly don't. I pity you. I feel sorry for you, because you will never be happy because you always want more... nothing is ever good enough for you, and THATS your problem, Im sorry I wasn't "COOL" enough or whatever... ya know, sorry i don't do drugs and hang out at parties all night and get into pointless fights and get arrested everytime i turn around .. yeah, real sorry I have a job and other shit to do... yeah man, how un-cool Iam... but you know what, it works for me... and that's really all that matters, I dont want to be part of your stupid little "circle" of idiots, because you see your friends??? seriously, I wouldn't even admit to knowing them, they are the biggest wastes of life in the world and you have the NERVE to call me worthless? Why am I worthless?? because I graduated highschool? because I dont live with my parents?? because I have my own money?? yeah ... all that means nothing... You gotta be into drugs and gangs and getting wasted and not knowing what happened the next day and fucking everyhting that walks, THATS how you become someone, huh? Its sad, you know things have gone wrong when the truth is taught to be hidden. I mean who wants to tell the truth when you'll just get in trouble for it. but a lie is like a poorly bandaged cut, it might be fixed for the moment, but once the bandage comes off all your left with is an open wound and a scar to remember it by. Whatever.. im not pilosopher... not a good speller either, but it doesn't matter.. THIS is why I hate people ... People are so fucked up, yeah I might be a "FAG WITH ALOT OF PEIRCINGS" but who give a fuck??? AM I BOTHER YOU ?!?!? I dont even think I've ever been in the same room as you... Dont fucking judge me.. and NO I dont give a shit that you could kick my ass, you probably could, Im not going to deny it, your what, 8 times my size?? yeah thats REALLLLL FUCKING MATURE. asshole... could ANY of you give me ONE good reason for not liking me?? no you can't... you dont like me because im different, because im not into alot of shit, and thats cool, thats fine, I dont dislike you because of what you do or how you are... I dislike all of you because you dislike me. I may not fit in to your crowd or be loud and obnoxious or addicted to drugs or rich or have a nice expensive car or a big house or be good looking, and you may not like my music or think im stupid and corney or gay or WORTHLESS. but if so, why bother, why waste you breath? I mean seriously, what is the point? Do you see me wasteing my time trying to be your friend ... uhm ... no? do yo usee me trying to "live up" to peoples expectations or trying to "fit in" or trying to be a "bad ass" no... im just me, I do what I do becaues I want to, not because someone or something has influenced me... not because i want tobe like evryone else, or because people dont like me a certain way so i have to change it, no i change for no one. I dont think Im better than anyone... to be honest with you Im nobody, so dont knock me... do what you do and just leave me alone, you can have your opinion just keep it to yourself, cause its not going to make a difference, im not going to change.. get over it, move on... just leave me alone.
current mood: moody
current music: Trapt - Headstong
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| Saturday, September 4th, 2004
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9:10 am - Yeap...
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Wow, Im sooo tired... but yeah, who cares, eh? So, hmmm, let's see, not much to talk about, don't know why I decided to update. Yeah ... so... how bout that "hurricane" good stuff, no? Suck's that I still have to goto work, I mean I know its not going to hit us but ... they closed alot of business', it's just not fair :( Welp, that's all, MORE LATER!
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| Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
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1:17 pm - ::sigh::
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This is never going to end. Im so frustrated. Eh, nothing I can do, it'll stop on day. Oh well, on to better things. Yeah so, haha... yeah :) good stuff, but besides that things are good. I see Yajaira alot, yeah, thats working out pretty nicly, Im happy with it! :) Wow, things have changed like so much... yeah I was thinking about it last night, everything is so much different then it was this time last year. Its crazy how much has changed in such little time, I was thinking about it cause of a friend that called me last night (Sara) I havn't talked to her in some time, and Ive known her for years (NO I DID NOT SLEEP WITH HER) but anyway, I was telling her about my tattoos and peircings and she was just like "Wow, you always thought that was so gay" yeah, Im a big hipocrit, yeah she said I sounded different too, I dont know how but whatever, Yajaira said I sounded different but she said my voice got deeper which i dont see how but thats besides the point. Yeah Sara meant I sounded different like, the way I talk. Eh... who cares :) but yeah thats the end for now, more later.
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| Sunday, August 22nd, 2004
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2:04 pm - IAM SO FUCKING MAD!
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GOD DAMNIT!! THAT BITCH I HOPE SHE FUCKING DIES A HORRIBLE HORRBILE DEATH AND I WANT TO BE THERE TO WATCH HER FUCKING SUFFER!!!!!!!!!!! GOD DAMNIT! SHE LIKE KEPT CALLING ME FROM SOME NUM BER AND USUALLY IF I DONT KNOW THE NUMBER I DONT ANSWER, BUT SHE KEPT FUCKING CALLING SO I ANSWERED AND SHE WAS LIKE "I J UST WANTED TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY" I WAS LIKE DUDE YOU A LITTLE LATE BUT YEAH THANK. AND THEN I HUNG UP AND SHE CALLED BACK AND SHE WANTED TO TALK SHIT AND OH MY FUCKIGN GOD I WISH SHE WOULD JUST DIE AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE IM CHANGING MY NUMBER I NEVER WANT TO HEAR FROM HER AGAIN IM SO FUCKING FURIOUS RIGHT NOW. GOD DAMNIT SANDRA FUCKING DIE OR SOMETHING PLEASE.
current mood: FUCKING PISSED
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1:25 pm - My sucky birthday!
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IM WEARING FLIP FLOPS ITS SOOOO WEIRD! but yeah so needless to say my birthday sucked! I didnt even freeking do anything, well, we went to six pockets last night ... yeah, ya know the place we ALWAYS go... jeez... but yeah.. I guess it was fun, we all made fun of mary she's this chick that like tries to bang every guy in six pockets... good stuff.. NOT! yeah .. but uhm.. yeah .... got some batman jammies.. i like'em. Yeah I didnt even get to see my girlfriend yesterday... JEEZ! that sucked, i even think she was mad at me or something... FIGURES! but anyway... I guess my birthday wasn't too bad, it could've been worse... i guess... yeah but okay well, im doing laundry at my parents house and i think its like almost done or something so i have to go check on that ... yeah nothing really planned for today... probaby wont do anything, but i dont mind, im tired i might just sleep all day... good stuff there! but yeah im going to go because im running out of things to talk about ... more later..
current mood: mellow
current music: On the way down
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| Sunday, August 15th, 2004
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11:14 pm - Strange but good day! :)
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Yeah so ... me and ya ya went to the op mall today and then from there to the ... ugh... avenues... yeah i hate that place, two of sandras friends work there, and we were luckly enuogh to run into not one... but both of them! fucking great right? not shortly after walking away from the first friend i recieved a phone call from a number i didnt know, and of course when i answered it no one said anything... ugh, i knew sandra would call me cause i knew her friends would call her and tell her they saw me with ya ya at the mall, and of course just as i expected she called me! what a supprised right, she's fucking called me everyday this freeking week and its really starting to annoy me, you'd think that after calling and calling and me never answering the phone you'd give up eh??? .... jeez, shit's annoying. but yeah ... shits great... love it... today was my dads birthday we went out to eat, that was cool, i bought more clothes today.. yeah like my new style HELL YEAH BABY !!! haha... but yeah... im tired and about to go home so more later ppl!.
current music: Bother
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| Thursday, August 12th, 2004
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12:07 am - good stuff man... REAL good stuff.
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wow... thats all ive got to say :) things have been freeking awesome! ... wow... hahaha! yeah man!!! sorry, im a little excited.. heheh anyway.... i see yajaira more than i used to now, things are going pretty well if you ask me... yeap, pretty freekin good man! yeah... lets see whats new.. uhm got my lip peirced and dyed my hair black.. dunno if i wrote about that yet.. hrm... managed to get two flat tires.. yeah that sucks.. OH WELL! got new tires.. just uhm... kinda left them in my sisters car... i'll get'em tomorrow, yeah ... but wow man she's great... i miss her when i dont see her :( ... but i saw her today so im good for the moment... :-) yeah... evil like called me and let a message last night, saying "i was thinking about you and blah blah blah blah" i.... didnt really care.... yeah, she sucks! but yeah! heheheh, dont know what else to write about, ugh i gave yajaira one of MY cd's... man do i regret it... she makes fun of me now :( i mean damn i know it sucks but jeez!!! ya dont gotta make fun of me, atleast not to my face... oh well, i still love her... ;) yeah ... not looking forward to work tomorrow, but then again... when am i ever lookiing forward to work ... anyway! im done for now, more later.
current mood:  happy
current music: On the way down
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| Sunday, July 25th, 2004
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6:43 pm - man...
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yeah so, long night last night... i left my house at like 12 in the afternoon and didnt get back until almost 10 this morning... i went to work and i was supposed to go hang out with jeremy at his house cause he was having something there, but i didnt. i wetn to luis' house and then we picked up this chick i met at 6 pockets the night before then we got alex and we went to the sahara... it was cool, ya know, we ate, smoked some hooka... yeah god stuff, but anyway we were all outside sittin on the car and my little sister and her friend pull up.. (yeah luis is her ex) so, ya know, needless to say he didnt want to be there anymore, so we went back to his huose, then me and alex left and got some beer and we headed back up to six pockets... where we drank some more (i had left that chick at 6 pockets earlier) we chilled for a little bit there.. ya know, b/s'ed for a while.. well then we all went back to my hosue listened to some music and then everyone went home... it was okay... too bad i had to drive everyone home cause im the only one with a friggin car... but i dont mind.. i was talking to yajaira last night through AIM on my phone while i was at six pockets, and i told her i was hurt thats why i wasnt answering the phone, when she had called me. and i was man im not going to lie, i dont know what to say, i mean am i supposed to pretend that we're just friends and crap when i like ... ugh, its hard to explain, i think about her all the freeking time... and its not her fault, really... i mean i understand the situation., i know whats up... but it really sucks... i know i prolly sound like im blaming her for stuff or something, but im not... like i said its not her fault... its no one's fault... its just the way things worked out i guess... i miss talking to her i wanted to talk to her so bad last night too... i dont know why i didnt answer the phone.. .im such an idiot. but honestly, what would i have said?? ..... well, whatever... its too late now anyway... we're never gonna be together, and im gonna have to get over it.
current mood: exhausted
current music: My Place - Nelly
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| Friday, July 23rd, 2004
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2:13 am - And so, it ends.
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not very happy right now... kinda tired too... cant believe this shit, i thought we'd end up getting together.. but i guess i just wanted something i couldnt have (as she put it) i really miss her, she's so great... ugh, it sucks that we'll never be more than friends, i swear i should've kissed her when i had the chance maybe things would've been different but i guess she's right that we dont see eachother often, but damn the time i do spend with her.. is awesome. she's just... man i couldnt even say.. i was mad when she told me she needed to move on cause it was all b/s... i didnt think it was b/s.. i really like her. Then she wanted to say something like You know your going to end up getting back together with sandra... and OMG that mad me so mad, i mean i swear its like no matter what i do i cant escape her, everyone has to always say something about her or something GOD DAMNIT! i hate that fucking girl, i swear to god if i could take back the last 5 years i would, i wish i never met sandra.. i wish i didnt even know she existed. I will NOT go back to her, i would rather die first. damnit... ugh... i guess i was meant to be alone.. im probably better off, ill never understand girls... i really miss yajaira... and i swear when we got off the phone earlier it felt like it was the last time i would ever talk to her, that shit killed me i really thought it would work out, i swear to god i tried to see her as much as i could i guess i just didnt make her feel like i wanted to be with her. i just didnt want to disrespect her or anything ,so ya know, i was being like .. really distant, and i can see how my being distant could be taken the wrong way... but.. there's nothing i can do about it.. wish she was here... or i was there, or that i could atleast talk to her, i got off the phone with her earlier to go hang out with some friends... i didnt want to, but at the same time i didnt wanna hear her talk about how we could never go out or date or whatever.. it was really making me mad, not mad in the sense that i wanted to kill someone but ya know just not happy. man... this sucks, this sucks bad... more later, i guess.
current mood:  sad
current music: Maroon 5
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| Tuesday, July 20th, 2004
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1:46 am - update
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been a couple of days since ive updated... havnt really had much to write about... but check this crap ot last night me and luis(my best friend) alex, havi and sagie went to play pool at Riggsys.. where me and luis always go, and we got a table then i got up and got a beer and i put it down and was watching luis play well, when i turned around alex (whos not 21) like took a sip of my beer, and the owner came up to me and like snatched it out of my hand and was likie he's under age, you all have to leave, and im like what??? im the one drinking, then he told me he saw alex drink it and i was like man, fucking alex!!!!!!! and well me and luis walked out and alex of course had to make a big deal out of it, so me and luis and the others are at the car when alex comes out talking shit to the old man that owns the place... yeah then like 20 freeking rednecks come out the place lookin all crazy and shit... i was soo freeking pissed cause i like going there, now i cant... yeah and then today luis informed me that they are trying to blame us for breaking into his next door neighbors apartment... yeah, good stuff there... anyway... on to more... happy things! :) uhm... went and hung out with yajaira and he friends the other night, her friends are pretty cool, yeah.. we went to steak and shake and i got a steak burger that looked anerexic.. and the french fries were like.. all stuck toegether .. yeah, but it was good... yeah... last night yajaira came over ... it was fun we watched a movie.... she tried to hurt me.. ya know... good stuff. it was nice though. real nice... kinda wished she didnt have to leave, but yeah, she did... oh well, there's always next time.. im such a punk. heheh, atleast i can laugh about it eh..? more later..
current mood: tired
current music: Sayin Goodbye - ME!
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| Thursday, July 15th, 2004
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2:30 am - what a day...
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ugh, im so freeking tired.. im glad this day is finally ending.. im at my parents house, im spending the night over here.. well, just put in a nice 13 hour shift at work, after a night of virtually no sleep, im spent. oh yeah and now they're fixing the phone lines at my house so my freeking phone doesn't work, but they said that it should be working by tomorrow... assholes.. anyway, im kinda man that i didnt get to talk to yajaira today AT ALL... first time since i met her that i havn't talked to her... i wonder if she's mad at me or something, oh well, i guess ill find out tomorrow... im going to orlando tomorrow too.. thank god not tomorrow morning though, im going at like around 4 or so, hopefully ill get to see yajaira before then... i kinda miss her. but yeah, moving on... im sitting in my old room and it looks so much bigger without all my crap in it. granted i only lived here for about 3 weeks before i moved into my apartment, but ya know.. i dunno, yeah im really tired. got a new watch today... i like it.. wow, i have nothing better to write about than a stupid watch.. yep you can tell I have no life.. oh well... driving home i had alot of things running through my mind... i drove all the way home with the radio off just thinking... ya know, dispite how tired iam and how shitty today was, i feel pretty good :) i lost the bottom to my eyebrow ring sometime last night, have no idea what happened to it, so now have a gold bottom on it, yeah it looks kinda gay but ill get a new one either tomorrow or the next day... i wonder if she's asleep... i would really love to talk to her right now, she's so great...i think we would be good together.. but unfortunatly, we're not.. im still working on that though, hopefully she'll read this and it'll make my chances better :) heheh yeah ima dork... well, ive wasted enough space on this entry... ill update tomorrow so .. yeah.. .like i always say.... more later.
current mood: lonely
current music: D12/Eminem - How Come
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2:30 am - what a day...
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ugh, im so freeking tired.. im glad this day is finally ending.. im at my parents house, im spending the night over here.. well, just put in a nice 13 hour shift at work, after a night of virtually no sleep, im spent. oh yeah and now they're fixing the phone lines at my house so my freeking phone doesn't work, but they said that it should be working by tomorrow... assholes.. anyway, im kinda man that i didnt get to talk to yajaira today AT ALL... first time since i met her that i havn't talked to her... i wonder if she's mad at me or something, oh well, i guess ill find out tomorrow... im going to orlando tomorrow too.. thank god not tomorrow morning though, im going at like around 4 or so, hopefully ill get to see yajaira before then... i kinda miss her. but yeah, moving on... im sitting in my old room and it looks so much bigger without all my crap in it. granted i only lived here for about 3 weeks before i moved into my apartment, but ya know.. i dunno, yeah im really tired. got a new watch today... i like it.. wow, i have nothing better to write about than a stupid watch.. yep you can tell I have no life.. oh well... driving home i had alot of things running through my mind... i drove all the way home with the radio off just thinking... ya know, dispite how tired iam and how shitty today was, i feel pretty good :) i lost the bottom to my eyebrow ring sometime last night, have no idea what happened to it, so now have a gold bottom on it, yeah it looks kinda gay but ill get a new one either tomorrow or the next day... i wonder if she's asleep... i would really love to talk to her right now, she's so great...i think we would be good together.. but unfortunatly, we're not.. im still working on that though, hopefully she'll read this and it'll make my chances better :) heheh yeah ima dork... well, ive wasted enough space on this entry... ill update tomorrow so .. yeah.. .like i always say.... more later.
current mood: lonely
current music: D12/Eminem - How Come
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| Tuesday, July 13th, 2004
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11:00 pm - .... ugh 2.
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okay well.. yeah i got a TV YEY!! first time ill be able to watch T.V since.... the accident... im on the phone with yajaira... she's like.. reading something im not really paying attention to.. anyway... work was good today... i guess, kinda boring... yeah well im at my moms house so ill do this later... PEACE.
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| Monday, July 12th, 2004
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1:36 am - tired...
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well today was pretty much just like any other day .... i went to yajairas house today.. it was okay i could only stay for about 20 minutes cause i had to get to work, but hey, atleast i saw her... yeah... work was work... ya know, dont really wanna be there, but hey... they pay me so i cant complain i guess. didnt make it out to my parents house tonight like i had planned... too tired to drive all the way down there, oh well, ill go tomorrow after work. yeah... i found out some stuff tonight, actually not too long ago... isnt it funny how you think people are your friends until they pretty much turn on you, all the while smiling to your face because they know you dont know whats really going on... great isnt it... story of my life though... anyway... im really tired, didnt goto bed until like 7 this morning, cause i was working on a few things here... mainly my comp. wanted to get to bed early tonight, but it doesnt look like thats happening either... oh well... maybe more later.
current mood: tired
current music: Bizzy Bone - This is for the weed
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| Sunday, July 11th, 2004
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10:17 pm - Back online!
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Yeaaaahhhh! man... Im back online at my house... Im just using the other comp now... its slower but hey .. it works.. im working on my main one though.. ill have it back to normal soon.. oh well, more later.
current mood: happy
current music: This Luv Maroon 5
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3:34 pm - last night.
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wasnt in the best of moods last night.. dunno why, just fed up with alot of crap... i left target when i really really didnt want to, but i had no choice, and that kinda pissed me off. im gonna miss working there. oh well... i was also mad cause my best friend choose to hang out with some chick instead of me after we had already made plans to do something last night... yeah, i cant be mad abuot that though, i did the same thing to my friends friday night... heh but it was wroth it. anyway... i was also thinking about moving back to my parents house too.. i hate my apartment... its always so quiet and shit, and there's nothing to do... its horrible. i hate going home sometimes.. like last night, i realyl didnt want to go home.. but i had nothing else to do, well i could've done some stuff but i didnt feel like, i was in a bad mood.. ive been at my parents alot recently, ilke ever since last friday ive been here like almost everyday... i like being here, i feel... comfortable, ya know. anyway... yeah shit sucks... gettin worse.. wanted to see yajaira today but thats not lookin good either... well she pretty much told me i wouldnt be able to see her today.. ugh, kinda miss her, but whatever... it sucks cause its not ilke ill see her all the time anymore, cause i dont work at target anymore... thats like the main reason i didnt wanna leave, cause i knew i wouldnt see her as much, and then after friday (which was awesome) it made it even worse cause we like talked about stuff and got a little closer then usual and stuff like that i wanted so bad to kiss her but i chickened out (IM A PUNK) but ya know, next time i'll do it, really. it felt really good when i was huggin her the other night, i didnt wanna let go, but she pushed me away cause i suck :( ... oh well, im done for the moment, more later.... probably much later if i dont get my damn comp up and running.
current mood: content
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