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Friday, November 21st, 2008
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8:22 pm - Crap ...
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Friday, November 21, 2008
Thank Inanna it's FRIDAY! Of course Mother woke hating the world this morning, yesterday when I got home found out the new neighbors called the Sheriff on her because our dogs attacked their dog in their yard, and it tied. Bonny and PJ I think. They also attacked Paulie, so now he and Merlin live indoors. This situation has just got to improve. I'll work on it some. But I didn't overeat, will not overeat today. Will go to the gym tonight. Mother wants fast food tonight, if I do that I'll have a grilled chicken sandwich.
Later, 4:05 p.m. Ah crap I shouldn't eat the rest of the day. Joe brought me a HUGE piece of cake and I ate it, mindlessly, without thinking. After I did it I thought, why didn't I wrap that up put it in my lunch container and give it to Mother when I got home!? WHY did I eat it?! He wouldn't have known the difference. I'm so stupid sometimes.
11/21/08 -255
Brk Sand - 360
Coffee - 77
Cheese - 50
Crackers - 60
Lean Cuisine - 240
Fruit - 70
Yogurt - 90
Raisins - 130
Cake - Like, 4,000
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Total - Just shoot me.
Left - none for the rest of the weekend!
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Sups:
Vitamin -
Antihistimine -
Enzyme -
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Exercise:
[ ] Off
[x] Tread 3.0 @ 5
[x] Standard Weights
[ ] Floor Exercises
[ ] DVD
current mood:  disappointed
current music: Nothing
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, November 20th, 2008
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8:28 pm - Day Fifty-One at the Gym!
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8:15 pm - Bad Day at Its End ...
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Thursday, November 20th, 2008 4:16 p.m.
Today he is pissing me off and I'd like to shoot him right in the head. But I'm staying true to my program and not indulging although the milky ways are sounding very very good right now. I will go to the gym tonight and it's cardio only. I will go home and not overeat. I will forget all about this day as soon as I walk out the door.
11/20/08 -255
Brk Sand - 360
Coffee - 52
Cheese - 50
Lean Cuisine - 270
Fruit - 70
Yogurt - 90
Raisins - 130
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Total - 1082
Left 718
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Sups:
Vitamin - x
Antihistimine -
Enzyme - x
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Exercise:
[ ] Off
[x] Tread 3.0 @ 5
[ ] Standard Weights
[ ] Floor Exercises
[ ] DVD
current mood:  tired
current music: The Exorcism of Emily Rose
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 19th, 2008
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10:06 pm - Today, Not So Bad ...
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Tuesday, November 19th, 2008 9:38 a.m.
Today is again a lovely day, going to be very busy and probably very frustrating. I'm hoping Mother can start the tape tonight without a glich and I can safely make it to the gym, to do a full workout this time. I will NOT overdo calories like I did yesterday, ended up consuming 2400 of them. Without snacks today I'm at 932, so a good start over all. Yes the weight is correct, I've gained another 5 pounds. Anyone else would give up. I'm not.
Later, 2:16 p.m. Getting tired I have really worked today. But I'm still going to the gym. Calories are only up to 1042. So far so good. I took a couple of Ibuprofen because I was a tad sore from last night. Better now, no relapses. Guess this will be it for the day, about to have to kick into high gear.
Later, 10:04 p.m. Everything went great today. Good workout, taping went smoothly. Hopefully things will continue to be good and smooth.
11/19/08 -250
Brk Sand - 360
Coffee - 70
Cheese - 50
Crackers - 60
Cookies - 130
Lean Cuisine - 230
Fruit - 70
Yogurt - 90
Raisins - 130
Dr. Pepper - 150
Skillet Din - 360
Ice Cream Cone - 280
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Total - 1962
Over 162
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Sups:
Vitamin - x
Antihistimine - x
Enzyme - x
Ibuprof - x (2)
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Exercise:
[ ] Off
[x] Tread 3.0 @ 5
[x] Standard Weights
[ ] Floor Exercises
[ ] DVD
current mood:  satisfied
current music: Noori
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, November 18th, 2008
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8:27 pm - Day Forty-Nine at the Gym!
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Well, I did it, I got back in the gym. I'm having a real problem with the weight room. I did cardio only today because I wanted to come home to watch The Biggest Loser, but I MUST do weights tomorrow and I'm SO tired of the guys hogging the room. It's not that bad except on the one machine I need the most ... the lat pull. Seems to be their favorite too, as it's hardly ever free for more than 5 minutes when there are a lot of guys there. I guess I just need to suck it up, when I get ready to use the machine ask the guy nearest it if he's done with it for the moment, and hope I'm not stepping on any toes. They look at me as if I am when I've done that in the past.
But I did good on the cardio, I got my mileage in but my right leg kind of caved, but I think it's because it's used to being lazy. It needs to get over itself, it gets harder from here. Anyway I had a basically good night at the gym, here's hoping tomorrow goes smoothly in all areas.
!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!
Starting Weight: 250
Short Term Goal: 230
Weight Last Weighin: 250
Loss Last weighin: 0
Me In The Beginning at 250
Me at State One Goal of 174
Me at Goal Weight of 124
Fwog/Lilipad
current mood: tired
current music: Tthe Biggest Loser
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(comment on this)
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8:13 pm - Well, Better Tomorrow ...
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Tuesday, November 18th, 2008 1:38 p.m.
Today is great, it's COLD outside, sunny, breezy, and the boss is gone! I'm hellbent to get to the gym tonight and start my exercises. I truly can't wait to really kick this into high gear. I can already feel the north winds lifting my spirits and pushing me into a higher sense of awareness and renewing my vitality. Today is a good day calorie wise and it will be an awesome day exercise wise. One day at a time, that's all I can do.
Later, 4:45 p.m. Here's hoping Joe is having a blast in Beaumont and not due back till this evening. I posted some to my sparkteams, will maybe post some more when I get home. I went to the post office to FINALLY buy the stamps he's been harping for me to buy and the lady there had cherry mini 3 muskateers bars there, and didn't like em, so of course she gave them to me. Only a little sack full I've had about a serving, or 180 calories worth and no more. Going to put me a little over calories but what the hell I'm working out tonight so it's all good. I AM working out tonight you bet your sweet bippy I am.
Later, 8:06 p.m. Just got in a little while ago from the gym. Did cardio only and only got in a mile. I don't know what I'm going to do about weights, I wanted to do weights today but so many men in the room, I have to get over this. Also I wanted to get home and watch The Biggest Loser. Ate too much, today's actual take is below, and not pretty.over 300 calories over. Nice. I did feed some of it to the dogs though. That's something
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Sups:
Vitamin - x
Antihistimine - x
Enzyme - x
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Exercise:
[ ] Off
[x] Tread 3.5 @ 2
[ ] Standard Weights
[ ] Floor Exercises
[ ] DVD
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Breakfast
Calories Fat Carbohydrates Protein
Jimmy Dean Muffin Sausage Egg & Cheese Sandwich, 1 serving 360 21 28 13
360 21 28 13
Lunch
GV Raisins, 1 serving 130 0 31 1
GV Light Nonfat Strawberry Banana Yogurt, 1 serving 90 0 14 8
Stouffer's Lean Cuisine Ginger Garlic Stir Fry w/Chicken, 1 serving 290 4 46 17
Diet Dr. Pepper, 16.9 oz 0 0 0 0
Dole Bowls Tropical, 1 serving 80 0 19 0
590 4 110 26
Dinner
Tyson: Country Style Ribs, 1 serving 140 5 0 24
Bush's Best Great Northern Beans, 0.5 cup 80 0 17 6
Knorr Pasta Sides Cheddar Broccoli, 1 cup 320 205 48 9
Dr. Pepper, 12 oz 150 0 40 0
690 210 105 39
Snack
Ramona's Coffee, 10 oz 26 1 6 0
Butterfly Exchange Cinnamon Stick, 1 serving 280 16 32 3
3 Musketeers Mint Minis, 1 serving 180 6 30 1
486 23 68 4
2,126 258 311 82
1550 - 1900 40 - 70 202 - 292 60 - 158
current mood: tired
current music: Tthe Biggest Loser
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1:37 pm - Thursday and Monday
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Thursday, November 14th, 2008 1:16 p.m.
This morning sucked. My check was way short because of the overdrafts, we can’t pay the house note, Mother flat out accused me of not paying my share. I’m so miserable right now I just want to find a quiet place, an alone place, and cry my heart out. I also want to eat everything in my drawer, but then again my stomach’s upset. I’m so frustrated. I’m quitting the gym, that will give us an extra 40.00 a month. After I pay my bills after each paycheck I’m going to transfer every other cent over to her account, just not keep money in mine. Until she passes on I’m never going to have anything or be able to do anything or be able to accomplish anything or be able to BE anything, and that’s what I have to live with.
11/13/08 -250
Brk Sand - 390
Coffee - 35
Deli Creat'n - 310
Fruit - 70
Yogurt - 90
Raisins - 260
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Total - 1250
Left - 550
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Sups:
Vitamin - x
Antihistimine - x
Enzyme -
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Exercise:
[ ] Off
[x] Floor Exercises
[ ] DVD
Monday, November 17th, 2008 12:37 p.m.
Ok so I’m not quitting the gym, Mother said don’t. She’s calmed down quite a bit on matters, that helped. So back to recommitting and trying harder. Down today, Richard chat if I get home in time I do still have a Walmart romp to do. But I’m going to try really hard, and visualize success.
11/17/08 -250
Brk Sand - 390
Coffee - 70
Lean Cuisine Bowl - 240
Fruit - 70
Yogurt - 90
Raisins - 260
Cookies - 130
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Total - 1250
Left 550
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Sups:
Vitamin - x
Antihistimine - x
Enzyme - x
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Exercise:
[x] Off
[ ] Tread 3.5 @ 2
[ ] Standard Weights
[ ] Floor Exercises
[ ] DVD
current mood:  aggravated
current music: Nature Outside the Window
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, November 17th, 2008
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8:21 pm - Not Living Up To My Expectations ...
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| Friday, November 14th, 2008
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7:11 am - Entries for Wednesday and Thursday ...
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Wednesday, November 12th, 2008 10:49 a.m.
Today's goals are to do cardio only at the gym, 1.5 miles minimum. Stay within caloric limits (cheese and crackers today, no cookies) and keep focused on completion of daily goals. I've gotten a lot of positive feedback from the groups on my accomplishment and I'm feeling a lot stronger. Incorporating operation SAUCER tonight, Inanna give me strength! I'm tempted to write Richard but I'm kind of tired of the form letters. Pisses me off he calls everyone but me on that damned group. He'd be more sympathetic if I had more than 200 pounds to lose I guess.
I'm going to try to participate in some of my forum discussions, I sure have a lot of them I'm signed up on and not participating in. That's a good goal for today, participate!
11/12/08 -250
Brkfst Sand - 390
Coffee - 70
Cheese - 50
Crackers - 60
Deli Creat'n - 320
Fruit - 110
Yogurt - 90
Raisins - 130
Chicken, hominy, green beans
Ice Cream Cone
Vienna Sausage Sandwich
2 cokes
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Total - 1120
Left - 680
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Sups:
Vitamin - x
Antihistamine - x
Enzyme - x
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Exercise:
[x] Off
[ ] Tread: 3.5 @2
[ ] Standard Weights
______________________________
Thursday, November 13th, 2008 1:00 p.m.
I was just horrible last night. Too much dinner (saucer didn't come into play) then had a vienna sausage sandwich on top of dinner and ice cream. Hopefully today we're just having a skillet dinner and it won't be so bad. Had two cokes too. Better today, as is indicated by my food intake. I didn't go to the gym yesterday because Mother blew taping Ghost Hunters for me and I had to come home, so we start fresh with that next week.
Later, 3:36 p.m. I just had some cookies, only one serving so it's all good, still going to the gym tonight full workout. I'm already tired, and I've succinctly tried to talk myself out of the gym, but I'm going. Today will be a success.
Next Morning ... ended up eating a half box of Mike and Ike's, chips and dips after dinner, the usual ice cream cone. Didn't go to the gym either.
11/13/08 -250
Brk Sand - 390
Coffee - 70
Cheese - 50
Cookies - 130
Deli Creat'n - 320
Fruit - 70
Yogurt - 90
Raisins - 130
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Total - 1250
Left - 550
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Sups:
Vitamin - x
Antihistimine - x
Enzyme -
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Exercise:
[x] Off
[ ] Tread: 3.5 @2
[ ] Standard Weights
current mood: disappointed
current music: News
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, November 11th, 2008
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9:27 pm - Day Forty-Eight at the Gym!
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Ok before I get to day forty-eight at the gym, I'd like to share with you something new I'm doing, and the epiphany that ensued in the practice.
During the day, as I'm an obsessive diarykeeper anyway, I stop and pull up a blank word processing screen, and write about my weight loss goals for the day. Not tomorrow, not next week, just today. And as the day wears on and thoughts creep in about it, I add to the entry. Ultimately it's going to end up on my blog, and printed out for my diet notebook. Here's the epiphany part, I share this part of the entry with you, because it amazed the heck out of me in the realization it was true:
"Later, 12:58 p.m. I'm amazed I have a drawer chock full of junkfood that I've barely touched. KitKats, Milkyways, Bottlecaps, Ike and Mike (tropical my fav!), Quakes, crackers ... untouched virtually for WEEKS. Am I finally kicking the habit? This, to me is the ultimate goal. To be around food that is bad for you and not have the desire to eat it. That, to me, is breaking the addiction."
Ok I know a lot of you are saying HEY you shouldn't even have that crap in your drawer!!!! Well, yes and no. With the program I'm following you're allowed anything you want, you just watch your portions. The healthier your choices the more food you can eat. Tempting food is going to be around me ALL the time for the rest of my life. I can't hide from it. It's better, in my opinion, to teach myself control rather than try to continually hide from "bad" foods. If I can control myself to be around them, and not overindulge, then that's half the battle.
Ok so after work I went to the gym for the first time since recommitting and I'm very very proud of myself. I'm going to be doing some awesome stuff by the end of the week, and I already feel better. I had lots of water today and kept hydrated during all phases of my workout, even got in extra steps by having to stop at WalMart on the way home. I am really REALLY going to kick my butt to keep focused. And I think now is finally the time :).
Here's the complete entry:
Tuesday, November 11, 2008 9:18 a.m.
Today's goals are simple. Stay within caloric limits and get to the gym, full workout. I weighed, 250 on the nose. Not good but there and inescapable, at least for the week. Perhaps by Monday morning it will be down some. I'm taking in the water, my 32 oz cup is full and I'm gulping it down. Hope to get two of these in me today if not three. No soda for lunch this week at all diet or otherwise, forgot to buy any forgot to bring one in from home, so none until dinner and man does that one taste good. I'm also looking forward to my weekend workouts if you can believe that one. I'm looking forward to the core workouts I have planned. I think those will do more good than anything.
Later, 12:58 p.m. I'm amazed I have a drawer chock full of junkfood that I've barely touched. KitKats, Milkyways, Bottlecaps, Ike and Mike (tropical my fav!), Quakes, crackers ... untouched virtually for WEEKS. Am I finally kicking the habit? This, to me is the ultimate goal. To be around food that is bad for you and not have the desire to eat it. That, to me, is breaking the addiction.
My exercise:
Trad Lat Pull 2 sets of 12 @ 40
Chest Press 2 sets of 12 @ 45
Pec Deck 2 sets of 15 @ 20
Ab Crunch w/Rom 2 sets of 12 # 60
Delinear Bike 15 minutes moderate pace
Tread .5 miles 2.5 speed 2 degree incline
My Food:
Brk Sand - 430
Coffee - 70
Cookies - 130
Deli Creat'n - 280
Fruit - 110
Yogurt - 90
Raisins - 130
Salisbury Steak - 240
Instant Potatoes - 250
Lima Beans - 80
French Cut Green Beans - 35
Dr. Pepper - 140
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Total - 1985
Over - 185
!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!
Starting Weight: 250
Short Term Goal: 230
Weight Last Weighin: 250
Loss Last weighin: 0
Me In The Beginning at 250
Me at State One Goal of 174
Me at Goal Weight of 124
Fwog/Lilipad
current mood:  bouncy
current music: Law and Order
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, November 10th, 2008
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8:31 pm - Monday Night Chat with Richard ...
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| Thursday, November 6th, 2008
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6:50 am - The Morning After: Day Forty-Seven at the Gym!
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| Tuesday, November 4th, 2008
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8:30 pm - Day Forty-Six at the Gym!
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| Tuesday, October 28th, 2008
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9:34 pm - Day Forty-Five at the Gym!
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| Thursday, October 23rd, 2008
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8:03 pm - Day Forty-Four at the Gym!
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| Tuesday, October 21st, 2008
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7:38 pm - Day Forty-Three at the Gym!
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| Thursday, October 16th, 2008
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8:31 pm - Day Forty-Two at the Gym!
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Well, not really. I went Tuesday, but only did .63 miles. It was one of those days where I was trying NOT to go, went anyway, and still after 10 minutes on the tread just wanted to cry, so I gave up and went home. On the way home I gave myself THE ultimatum. "Lose big numbers in 20 days or it's quitsville for the gym. You're not going to waste 38.00 a month and not succeed at this, and you're not succeeding." I finally got home, tripping over my lower lip all the way into the house. I turned on the television and started flipping channels. It was there I found my 'spark' again.
The Biggest Loser was on, and I watched. This woman who looks older than me got eliminated. Of course they show the eliminated as they are today. She was down to a size 10 and looked like a model (to me). I was just amazed. I told myself LOOK, there is a woman starting out almost as big as you are, OLDER than you are, and had JILLIAN for a trainer and look at her now. And you want to sit there and say you can't do this??
Today I got on the tread and reached cruising altitude. I'd used my inhaler before I got on just in case. When I hit that magical .5 miles I set the speed at 3.3 and the incline at 3. I still have to hold on at the higher speeds but I'm working on that. I broke the mile no problem, other than burning calves, but that's a good feeling, isn't it? Then I pulled 2 sets of 12 reps at 60 pounds on the lat pull, 2 sets of 20 at 20 pounds on the pec deck, 2 sets of 12 at 40 pounds on the chest press, 2 sets of 12 at 60 pounds on the leg extension, 2 sets of 15 at 60 pounds on the ab crunch, 2 sets of 12 at 60 pounds on the ab twist. There is a new machine I'll be adding next time, it's like the leg extension except for thighs. Can't wait!
!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!
Starting Weight: 258
Short Term Goal: 220
Weight Last Weighin: 245
Loss Last weighin: 2
Me In The Beginning at 258
Me at State One Goal of 174
Me at Goal Weight of 124
Car/Road
src="http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/wA1aWHs
/weight.png">
current mood: tired
current music: I Have No Idea
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, October 13th, 2008
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7:32 pm - Day Forty-One at the Gym!
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| Tuesday, October 7th, 2008
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8:29 pm - Can You Believe It?? Day FORTY at the Gym!!
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| Monday, October 6th, 2008
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9:06 pm - Day Thirty-Nine at the Gym!
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happy
crazy