Last night
Can't believe what I was hearing
Tellin' me to have a nice life
Tonight, I don't think I'll spare your feelings
Ima do for me what's right

[13 Aug 2003|11:59pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]
[ music | Unchained Melody- Justin Guarini version ]

Word of the Day for August 13th, 2003

deleterious \del-ih-TIR-ee-us\, adjective:
Hurtful; destructive; pernicious;


I'm sorry for all the deleterious things I said tonight. They aren't true. But I meant what I said about me...

I'm not worth it.

1 heating up | It feels like something's..

[09 Aug 2003|05:56pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | U + Me = Us ]

Guys! Guess what!


That's right. You've been CRAVING it. This time, there's gonna be even more, WORD OF THE DAY

Not only will we learn new words and improve our vocabulary and mental skills, we will also learn more of what's going on in Justin Timberlake's everyday life.

Isn't it

So let's get this show on the road.


Happy late birthday, JC. No, I didn't forget

tchotchke \CHOCH-kuh\, noun:
A trinket; a knickknack.

Yeah, that's the word. Tchotchke. It's totally unpronouncable, but I love it!

The Sentence

In persuing the stores for JC's birthday present, I found a tchotchke that he really might enjoy, something about a dog and some music notes. It was pretty tacking. When a lady started talking to me about Animal Husbandry, I could only laugh. Good times...

And that concludes the WOD for today. Stay tuned... oh yeah, you just wait. More exciting words to come!
6 heating up | It feels like something's..

[06 Aug 2003|11:49pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]


Updating sucks. But... I don't wanna write a lot right now.

Why is it bad... what am I scared of... I don't want to pull away....

I should wish for things I can't have.

3 heating up | It feels like something's..

[27 Jul 2003|06:19pm]
[ mood | okay ]

Well, here I am, chilling in Pittsburgh or some shizz

Yeah, it's been crazy. Christina and I haven't seen much of each other this weekend because she's busy and I'm busy. I haven't even seen our target commercial yet.

The tour's almost over. In a month. It's very hard to believe. Feels like I've been here forever, like I should be doing this forever. But nothing's forever. And I mean nothing.

So I hope everyone who hasn't caught the show is going to catch it. As for me, I'm gonna grab some dinner. Maybe I'll write something worth reading later.

Oh and... new icons. Yeah, you know you wanna look.

It feels like something's..

[22 Jul 2003|11:28pm]
So yeah...

I just got down with my House of Blues show. It was cool. I really like the intimate club scene. I really feel like a singer and a performer, a songwriter... all of that. Cause it's part of that package. This gig isn't all about being really really cute. It's about so much more.

I'm looking forward to the show tommorow. It'll be lots of fun. United Center is a great venue. I know I'll have a lot of fun. The tour is so much fun because...

... yeah, Christina and I decided to try things out. See how it would be if we were together. Like dating and stuff. So far, it's good. I've always been attracted to her. Who can deny that she's a great, strong, wonderful person, not to mention very hot. She keeps me in line. And she can kick anybody's ass for me. That's what I look for in a woman. As long as she keeps our promise... I know everthing will be okay.

But so much can happen, you know. I hate that part of life sometimes. There's always... risk...
3 heating up | It feels like something's..

[10 Jul 2003|06:39pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I'm a very confusing person.

I know what I want... I want lots of things... but really. Sometimes I do not feel worthy.

I don't wanna lead people on and stuff. It's just that... sometimes I'm lonely. Sometimes I'm lazy. I don't wanna work for it sometimes because... I like everything just coming together, just for me. Which is pretty selfish I must admit.

I was lonely last night... and sad. Is that an excuse? Is that an explanation? No, it's just words. I have plenty of words. But they don't go together. They don't make sense.

I called Britney today, like out of the blue. Just to say I was sorry for being mean. I don't want to be mean. I don't want to feel this way anymore. I need something to change. But... I was never good at starting things. I just need something to be different... and I can think of a couple of ways I want it to go.

We're both scared... or something. Hesitant. It's me. I always give mixed signals.

Korina, your ticket will be at the American Airlines counter at LAX. It leaves 12:35, first class, to Atlanta. There's one layover in Vegas. It was the best I could do...

1 heating up | It feels like something's..

[09 Jul 2003|08:26pm]
Whoa, I haven't updated this thing in forever.


Yeah, that's all I can come up with.

Spent the fourth in LA, saw the fireworks, it was nice.

I don't know where I am, Christina's not around for me to ask. I don't see her much, she's always busy. This really is a coheadliner tour.

See? This is why I'm not updating. I hate typing and writing and thinking and spelling. Ugh, it does not go. I wasn't meant for this type of work.

Who's coming to visit? That's right. No one. That's okay. You don't have to like me. Because my mom likes me. Right? Mom? MOM!

My Emotion
A poem... by Justin Timberlake

A stone in my hand
water splash
ripples like memories
strong, large
fading slowly out
away towards the shore
life like the memories
it seems like it'll last forever
until it trickles away
down to the shore
stuck in the middle
so far away from ground
trust long forgotten
how does it feel
words unrecognized
feelings cut
like a knife sharp
drawn across the wrist
it doesn't hurt so much
that way
the way most things occur
no time but to look back
that doesn't happen fast
it's slow
spreads out
much like those waves
going out to the shore
but instead of fading
it only gets deeper
and deeper.



3 heating up | It feels like something's..

[22 Jun 2003|11:02pm]
Everyone updated today, so I'd thought I'd update as well. It's not gonna be a novel though. Because right now I'm too tired tonight.

The bahamas was... an experience. Our fall trip should be to Las Vegas. And just because this one wasn't one big barrel of laughs doesn't mean we shouldn't do it again sometime. I loved being with everyone, for the most part. And I had fun. It was so beautiful there. I'll miss it.

Denver is calling my name. I don't actually know where I am right now. But where ever I'm supposed to be, that's where I am. The rest of the summer will be non stop. I've got to make a new video for my single.

I like that part of my life to be nonstop. But there are certain parts that I would love to just... freeze in their tracks. I know what I'm talking about. It doesn't make much sense but I wish that I could make it happen... somehow.
1 heating up | It feels like something's..

[17 Jun 2003|06:44pm]
[ mood | sad ]

A lot of stuff has gone down lately. I've been meaning to write about it, but it keeps going on in my head. There's no escaping it.

I could start back before the vacation. When Britney came to see me in Sacremento and we had our talk. You know, I thought that getting everything out in the open would help. You know... but it didn't.

I guess it was my fault. At first. But then it just got ridiculous. I don't even know what to say. I really don't like this. I don't like feeling guilty or unhappy or sad or mad. Whatever I do is what I do. It's nobody's business, nobody can control me. I don't know what else to do but what I'm doing. I mean, it's gotta stop sometime right? Because it's not my fault, not really. I didn't end the relationship. There's no reason to be mad at Christina. I wasn't cheating on you. She's just my good friend anyway. There's nothing... to fight about.

There are times to think and be by yourself. I spent the last couple of mornings on the beach, watching everything so peaceful and quiet. I miss my friend, I really do. She used to be my very best friend... and now we're not even allowed to look at each other.

Last night, the fire... it was like she was trying to erase me. I don't know. Being hated... not the best feeling in the world. I regret what I did now because I really liked that watch. And now I don't know what time it is, since all my other watches are at home.

What do you do when a big part of you is missing? How do you make things be the same again? How do you move on? How do you change? Even Randy doesn't have the answers to this one. I just know... how things are... are not how I'd like things to be. I want to go back in time two weeks. Maybe then I would have cried like I wanted to and she would see just how serious I was.

But... there's no time machine for me. Just have to deal with the way things are now. I know that we all should try to enjoy the rest of the vacation. How many times do we have to be together like this. No matter what shit is going down... we'll still be friends. I hope so. Because everyone... has helped me. And that means a lot to me.

Speaking of everyone, something really strange happened last night. I ran into someone I haven't seen in a long time. Korina, you know, that girl in the Gone video with me and the boys. It was quite a coincidence. It's not like we haven't talked at all since the video but running into her... wow. We took a walk, it was a short one, because she had to go. She said she'd call me later. She's here for a photoshoot. It'll be nice to catch up, I guess. She's a really sweet person.

Wow, this sure was an emo post. Um... has anyone else heard me talking in my sleep?

4 heating up | It feels like something's..

[10 Jun 2003|04:11pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

What am I gonna say?

I was mad before but I might be now, the more I think about it. Just leave me alone! I'll get around to it when I feel like it. If I ever feel like it. It's all about me.

We're in Oregon. Last night, Christina and I were lamenting about... things. But you know, maybe it isn't all that bad. At least I can do whatever I want. Maybe I want to grow up and be lonely and old and spend all my money and go bankrupt.

I'll be in LA really soon for three days. I hope a majority of you will have the chance to catch the show then. And to whoever might want to see me... you'll have to make the first move.

5 heating up | It feels like something's..

[08 Jun 2003|05:56pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | It's fun to eat at four-thirty pm-- Diet Dr. Pepper rocks ]

Welcome to Washington where the rain falls and the roads are flooded like everyday.

That's where I am. Tacoma. Getting ready for the show tonight. Last night I spent sleeping. We flew up here late after spending a little bit of time in Oakland. After this, we go back to California. It's pretty weird if you think about it. Why don't we just finish the Cali set before going to Washington? I guess I should have asked before. I'm excited about the show tonight. I've really found my groove and I feel comfortable with it. Now all I have to do is have fun. Having fun makes the show better. There's no need to be nervous anymore.

And I am having fun. I thought it wouldn't be possible but I am. I have a great team with me. My dancers, my crew, the company. Of course there's Christina and her dancers and personal people who I get to hang out with too. This co-headliner thing was a great idea. We give the audience so much variety and entertainment. I love it really. I want to share it with everyone. That's why I want everyone to see my show.

I'm not as lonely as I thought I would be... especially after... and I'm not as sad. Not all the time. One thing I am is busy. And friendly. I can do whatever I want. Be with who ever I want, though most of the time I'm by myself.

Christina's a lot of fun. We joke around a lot, but she's just my good friend. I don't spy on her as much as I make it seem.

Talking on the phone yesterday... I must have seemed mean. But I was just tired. Truth is I'm a little scared of a possible visit. I don't want it to be like phone calls. And I want a friendship... I just don't know how right now. It sounds dumb and it is dumb, but it's how I feel.

So we're having a "team" dinner tonight at Red Lobster and they are going to close it down for us and I'm gonna have lobster and shrimp and I hope someone doesn't die of a seafood allergy. That's about it.

4 heating up | It feels like something's..

[03 Jun 2003|01:55am]

I think Carson's a little too obsessed with me...

::points to icon::
3 heating up | It feels like something's..

[02 Jun 2003|06:20pm]
[ mood | busy ]

Update with substance.

Rehersal is killer. I still can't believe it. 2 days. Just 2 days until the tour kicks off. I laid in my bed all last night thinking about it. It still seems far from perfect. I've never said this before but I think I'm actually nervous. Imagine me... nervous. I never get nervous, not really, not like this, to the point of bad dreams and stuff. It's a lot of stress. Nobody but me to get me through.

We taped the movie awards the other night. It was a lot of fun and even more fun were all the parties afterwards. You guys have to check it out because I was hilarious. A lot more funny than Seann. Yeah, it's possible. Comedy may be my true calling. It's hard to be great at everything, you know?

Today at rehersal I slipped while I was dancing and I totally pulled my knee or something. It killed. I didn't say anything and I went through the rest of it. It hurts so bad now, though, like it hurts so much, it's burning. I got someone to rub it for me and took some pills and laid on the couch with King and watched some movie on Starz. The last hour of Signs. But I wasn't really watching it. I was thinking. About... stuff. People who make me angry and sad and longing and confused and embarrased and hateful and happy all at the same time. People who can't make up their mind. Who make it worse. Who should just leave me alone forever and never think about me again. Because it would be easier that way. If only they would do that, everything would be better for me.

So, I don't know, I should probably go to bed early. We're practicing ALLLLLLLLL day tommorow.

1 heating up | It feels like something's..

[02 Jun 2003|12:26am]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Showdown- R Kelly ]

This what happens when Tony leaves us late at night...

No cut tags for you!

mesticletonyx has left the room.
Claretastic: right
Claretastic: and tony left while i was dead
Claretastic: thats not cool
Claretastic: *cries*
Claretastic: *for ever and ever and ever*
xJustinxTimbs31: ::cries with Clare::
xJustinxTimbs31: ::even longer::
xJustinxTimbs31: He-he was... my... BUDDY!
Claretastic: *hugs justin* we can survive this hard time together
sebbyfromdablock: oh no,
Nessa is Roxie: I'm good
Claretastic: we can do it he will be back
Nessa is Roxie: *sips a oda & eats chips*
xJustinxTimbs31: Noooo I can't survive
Nessa is Roxie: *soda
xJustinxTimbs31: I'm gonna drown myself in a puddle!
Nessa is Roxie: how's it goin Seb?
Claretastic: *through fits of sobs* he was...SO ....SEXY *cries hysterically*
Claretastic: *goes to take my toaster in the bath?*
sebbyfromdablock: *laughs* Oh my god. I'm good nessa.
Nessa is Roxie: *hides toasters*
Nessa is Roxie: great!
xJustinxTimbs31: ::goes face down in a puddle::
Nessa is Roxie: *pulls Justin's head out of the puddle* no
xJustinxTimbs31: But I want to!
Nessa is Roxie: no killing of the selves
Nessa is Roxie: NO!
xJustinxTimbs31: But it's fun!
Nessa is Roxie: I SAID NO
xJustinxTimbs31: Okay Nessa. ::shrinks away::
Nessa is Roxie: *smiles* thank you
Claretastic: but blink lyrics are nice
Nessa is Roxie: I don't care
Claretastic: okay i still have my tony blow up doll *sigh of relief* i think ill live
Nessa is Roxie: you live.
Claretastic: *hands justin one* they are the new and improved talking ones
xJustinxTimbs31: ::takes it::
Nessa is Roxie: *laughs*
sebbyfromdablock: do they sing to you? I love it when tony sings *laughs*
xJustinxTimbs31: Tony?
Nessa is Roxie: Seb wants one too
xJustinxTimbs31: You're my buddy!
Nessa is Roxie: *smirks*
Claretastic: oh yes ofcourse
Claretastic: *pushes tonys no no spot and listens to him sing*
Claretastic: *sways*
Nessa is Roxie: *dies*
xJustinxTimbs31: You touched his no no spot!
Claretastic: each part of his body says something different
xJustinxTimbs31: That's a no no!
Claretastic: NO ITS NOT
sebbyfromdablock: *laughs* Oh god.
Claretastic: i like his no no spot *cries*
Nessa is Roxie: Sebby
Nessa is Roxie: you're pink by the way
xJustinxTimbs31: No no places are off limits!
sebbyfromdablock: Yessssssssssss
sebbyfromdablock: *dances*
xJustinxTimbs31: Unless your bathing or touching yourself or married!
sebbyfromdablock: *dead*
Nessa is Roxie: *dead*
Nessa is Roxie: touching yourself?
xJustinxTimbs31: its allowed!
sebbyfromdablock: *runs to put that in the profile*
Claretastic: ...
Claretastic: *bathes with tony*
Claretastic: *touches his no no spot*
Claretastic: HAHA WHAT NOW
xJustinxTimbs31: No... bathing yourself!
Nessa is Roxie: I guess Justin like to touch himself
Claretastic: he has "problems"
Nessa is Roxie: haha
Claretastic: im just err merely helping
xJustinxTimbs31: Everyone does
Claretastic: *touches myself*
Claretastic: *gropes my arm*
sebbyfromdablock: *dies* wtf
xJustinxTimbs31: That's right
xJustinxTimbs31: perfect natural seb
xJustinxTimbs31: Let's not laugh kiddies
xJustinxTimbs31: come on, you can say it
xJustinxTimbs31: Peeeeeeeeeenis
xJustinxTimbs31: Vagiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiina
sebbyfromdablock: Penis
xJustinxTimbs31: Breasts
sebbyfromdablock: Vagina
xJustinxTimbs31: Scrotum
sebbyfromdablock: Brests
xJustinxTimbs31: clitoris
xJustinxTimbs31: anus
xJustinxTimbs31: shaft
sebbyfromdablock: clitoris commander
xJustinxTimbs31: nipples
sebbyfromdablock: reporting for duity
xJustinxTimbs31: fornicating
xJustinxTimbs31: sexual intercourse
Nessa is Roxie: *laughs* no Seb
xJustinxTimbs31: the penis goes into the vagina
xJustinxTimbs31: pleasure is experienced
xJustinxTimbs31: until an ooooooorgasm
xJustinxTimbs31: at which the man releases his sperm
xJustinxTimbs31: and the girl pretends
sebbyfromdablock: really justin, becuase i thought that orgasum was impossible with you involved.
sebbyfromdablock: *dies*
xJustinxTimbs31: Haha, Seb
sebbyfromdablock: the girl pretends. that sucks for you
Claretastic: *fakes a gasm while in the bath with blowuptony*
xJustinxTimbs31: That's good Clare. Keep working on it!
Claretastic: err yes blow up tony ofcourse that was the best sex ever..*shifty eyes*
Nessa is Roxie: *fakes a gasm for the hell of it*]
Claretastic: *humps blow up tony until it pops*
Claretastic: *cries*
sebbyfromdablock: Gasp
sebbyfromdablock: oh no
sebbyfromdablock: tony died.
Claretastic: i guess theres a weight limit
sebbyfromdablock: clare killed him with all her love
Claretastic: i did
Claretastic: oh no
Claretastic: *sneaks into justins house and steals his*
xJustinxTimbs31: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Claretastic: *runs back to the bath and continues the humpage*
xJustinxTimbs31: ::runs and grabs blow up Tony's arm::
xJustinxTimbs31: Nooo!
xJustinxTimbs31: Mine
Claretastic: NO NO NO
xJustinxTimbs31: Blow up Tony
Claretastic: MINE
xJustinxTimbs31: You're no no places
xJustinxTimbs31: they are being destroyed!
xJustinxTimbs31: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
xJustinxTimbs31: TONY!
xJustinxTimbs31: ::pulls on blow up tony until he pops::
xJustinxTimbs31: Noooo!
Claretastic: NO
Claretastic: SHE WHAT YOU DID
xJustinxTimbs31: His no no spots are on the floor!
xJustinxTimbs31: They are limp now...
Claretastic: SEE
xJustinxTimbs31: You killed him!

Yeah. Be online at night like the cool kids. Thank you.

4 heating up | It feels like something's..

[28 May 2003|10:33pm]
[ mood | blah ]

I feel kinda numb. Like, I wake up and everything's good and going well and then... I remember. It's weird. It's like I'm not normal. I guess you already knew that though.

Well, the tour is coming up so fast. I've got to work and focus on that. It's so not ready and there is just so much other stuff going on. I'm a little overwhelmed.

Everything's different now. I feel really different. It's not easy to fail at things. I just wish she'd stop pretending like things are normal or something. Because they aren't. And I really have no desire to speak to her or have her speak to me. It might be childish but that's the truth. It doesn't make me happy. It only makes me uncomfortable. That doesn't help anyone.

I liked crashing at Christina's. She has a nice house and she's a great hostess. Of course, she's gonna get sick of me! But I'll take her good nature while I can take it.

I can't wait until Mike my Numba One Groupie comes and visits me on Tuesday before I leave for AZ... I think that's before... we'll have a good time. Someone please do the boy's laundry!

2 heating up | It feels like something's..

[26 May 2003|10:47pm]
[ mood | angry ]
[ music | R Kelly ]

So... this is how it feels.

Nothing last forever, Justin. Thanks for reminding me.

I'm angry. It's easier than being sad. Hurt. Unloved. Betrayed. Dumped.

So, you know what? I've got my own life. I've got other things. I've got other friends. Interests. Outlets. This is my time. I try not to forget. We have never existed in my time. Here it is.

I've got no one to share it with.

Well, I didn't do a good job of it, did I? Here I go, getting sappy. I said I was going to be mad. You know, think about her... just want to blow up. I can use it in everything I do. Anger's an emotion you can work with. It makes everything better.

This is it. I'm through. I'm not doing this anymore! It's too hard. It hurts too much. No. It makes me angry! I don't want to be angry. I just want to be me. I thought I had everything. And I do. I only need myself.

So this is to you. I hope you find whatever you're looking for, that I couldn't give to you. I was lying. I don't need you. We'll be better apart. Thank you. You did me a favor.

I'm out.

4 heating up | It feels like something's..

[23 May 2003|06:34pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Everyone look at my icons now! I call it... Old School.

I'm glad Monday is two whole days away. Because it's gonna take that long for me to muster up a good feeling about seeing her.

Good thing I have people to see and parties to go to tonight. I guess that'll help.

5 heating up | It feels like something's..

[22 May 2003|01:57am]
[ mood | indescribable ]
[ music | The Way You Do- Britney Spears ]


I haven't updated in 10 days.

I'm in LA now because Europe is over.

I'm gonna host that one awards show with that one funny drunk kid.

It'll be fun.

Britney is gonna stay with me, I hope, because... she's selling her house? Anyways, I need someone to wash the windows. I mean!

can't have sex if you don't have brothers in the band

RUBEN! I'm glad he won. But we all loved you too Clay. In a strictly... non gay... way.

Where's JC, Brain, Trace and Mike?

Jesse Bradford and I are new BESTEST friends.

Kel Kel had a weave

Ha. I get to be his new bestest friend. Not you.

It's late. It's like... late.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and I think. I think... what about the bunnies.

They always forget about the bunnies.

No more paaaain. No more drama.

People, don't hate. Appreciate. So tommorow we're playing Duck Duck Goose.

When you skip in circles, you may get a headache. Do it at your own risk!


The final frontier.

There. Your friends page moved. I know nobody loves me. You just like to laugh at me. Don't bother to comment. I'm crying already.

12 heating up | It feels like something's..

[12 May 2003|10:38pm]
I'm really having a good time here. An even better time now that Lance and Brit have come to hang out with me.

Now it has come to my attention that many people will be in London this week. Perfect! That means you can all catch a show. If you don't, you will be sorry. Why you ask? Because you would have missed the special timberlake british brand of sexiness. Yes, you heard me right. London engagement only, the show will be hotter than ever! So get your asses in the front row. That is all.

It's really late here. Besides, what am I doing on the computer when Britney's in the same room. That's enough updating from me.
2 heating up | It feels like something's..

[05 May 2003|03:25pm]
I just got back from hanging out around here. We saw some crazy soccer action and did a little shopping. I got these cool sunglasses although I don't really need them, it's so cloudy. Feels like I haven't seen the sun in months. The soccer was cool. Or excuse me, football as they insist on calling it. Someone got beamed in the head with the ball while it was going like 90 miles per hour or something. I don't know, but that must have hurt. I think all their soccer players are like smashed or something when they play because the guy acted like he didn't feel it. Everyone in the audience seemed wasted and I had a few, they serve the beer in like tubs, it's really cheap though. So I got a taste of the country. I don't know what I'll do now. I have to get up early tommorow and do some promotional stuff, a little rehersal of the end of the show. The first show in wednesday. I'd be lying if I didn't admit I'm a little nervous. But you knoq, being nervous two days in advance, that's not cool! So I'm trying not to think about it. It's 9:30 at night here, where you guys are it's the afternoon. And the plugs are different. That circuit city commercial is full of truth. I miss LA already, especially Britney. But it's only two weeks. After that, I'll be ready to hook up with Christina and start taking over the USA. Here's my tour schedule in Europe.

05/07/03 - Sheffield, UK Hallam FM Arena
05/09/03 - Manchester, UK Manchester Evening News Arena
05/10/03 - Manchester, UK Manchester Evening News Arena
05/11/03 - Newcastle, UK Telewest Arena
05/12/03 - Birmingham, UK NEC Arena
05/14/03 - London, UK Wembley Arena
05/15/03 - London, UK Wembley Arena
05/17/03 - London, UK London Arena
05/18/03 - London, UK London Arena
5 heating up | It feels like something's..

[ viewing | Staring into the present ]
[ go | This is me... then ]