Jaime made me do it   
07:16am 14/06/2003
  THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
Death
Dying Alone
Tornados
------------------------------------------------------------
THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
Eddie Izzard
Jaime
Shaun
------------------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I LOVE:
Connor
Jaime
My friends.
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THREE THINGS I HATE:
Boredom
Insomnia
Failure
-----------------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
Idiots
Old people who still live in old times
Jaime's Mom
------------------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
PC
Cigerettes
Ashtray
------------------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
Listening to Jaime play about Animal Crossing
Pondering answers
Typing
---------------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
Debt Relief
Finish school
be married to Jaime
------------------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
Play many musical instruments
anything that I wanna do *Blue's Clues theme*
cook
------------------------------------------------------------
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
Sarcastic
Funny
Talkative
------------------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
write very well
sleep
dance
------------------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
music
advice
peaceful forest
------------------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
bad advice
telemarketers
awful music
------------------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
Shit
What the hell?
huh?
------------------------------------------------------------
THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
Chinese
Italian
more chinese....hunger
------------------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
to understand women ;)
SQL
child talk
------------------------------------------------------------
THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
Diet Mt Dew
Water
Diet wanna-be sprite
------------------------------------------------------------
THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
Cosby Show
Full House
Family Matters
------------------------------------------------------------
RANDOM QUESTIONS..
Your name backwards: Leinahtan
How did you get your live journal BLURTY name? hehm you should ask Jaime that ;)
Are you homosexual? No
------------------------------------------------------------
Relationships
Three ideal mental characteristics of a partner:
Funny
Understanding
smart
------------------------------------------------------------
Three ideal physical characteristics of a partner:
Great Eyes
A little meat on bones (dont want no Pencil)
great kisser
------------------------------------------------------------
Three things your partner should know and understand about you:
I'm insane
Ive lost my mind
Im a Musician
------------------------------------------------------------
Accomplishments
Three things you've done and are proud of:
Found Jaime
Musical ability
1st in family to goto college
------------------------------------------------------------
Three things you've done and regret:
lying
not finishing school
restarted smoking after lung surgery
------------------------------------------------------------
Three things you plan on doing:
Get married to Jaime
Getting a house
having a kid of my own physically
------------------------------------------------------------
People
Three people who have influenced you most:
Mom & Dad
My grand parents
Jaime
------------------------------------------------------------
Three fictional characters you best relate to:
Chandler dealing with Monica aka Jaime
Dagwood - we have the same appitite
Garfield - love that lagsanga
------------------------------------------------------------
Three people you'd like to meet:
Bill Gates, just to slap him
G W Bush
Eddie Izzard
------------------------------------------------------------
Ideals
Three things you'd like to see more of:
Money
Weight loss
World
------------------------------------------------------------
Three things you'd like to see less of:
this pc
those really long surveys
debt owed
 
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Ironic   
06:02am 14/06/2003
  Jaime is a cancer. I'm a taurus and that's what she got on hers, Taurus. Guess it's meant to be.

cancer lover



You'll Fall in Love With A Cancer!


You value having the emotional support Cancers bring to relationships.

Cancers are typically very nurturing and have lots of love to give, to everyone.

You are on the lookout for the parent to your future children - and Cancer fits the bill!



The only downside to your Cancer's incredible love is that they tend to be possessive.

Cancers don't want to spend so much time caring for someone, only to be left later on!

So, they are a your Cancer may be a bit guarded at first and more prone to jealousy.



Take care of your Cancer's insecurities, and your relationship will be a success.

In return, you'll find the deepest love you've ever known...

As well as the freedom to express your emotions openly, especially during sex.



What Sign Should Your Lover Be?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
 
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Several Things   
02:23am 14/06/2003
 
mood: energetic
music: Various rock - atm: Rock of Ages by Def Leppard
Today, I had my interview with Ecampus.com. hopfeully here from them in a week. Also will most likely returning to my job at Meijer in recieveing/layaway. Better than nothing. Also turned in apps at Harbor Frieght, Insight, Interplex Plastics (my father's company). Surely no one is gonna called during the weekend. so may not hear anything til Monday. I;m not gonna talk about what i owe only b/c it would put a depressing mood and im wanting that tonight, though Jaime is sick, yet asleep, which is good she's needs her sleep to rest her body so it can fight her illness. I need sleep too, but I'll survive and live.

Now onto the band idea again. Covers I'd like to work with til originals are written: Black Oak Arkansas - Black Betty, Commander Cody - Hot Rod Lincoln, .38 Special - Trooper with an Attitude & Hold On Loosely, Def Leppard - various songs undecided, Collective Soul - Shine, Seven Mary Three - Cumbersome & Water's Edge, Sister Hazel - So Long & All For You, MatchBox 20 - Various undecided, Dave Matthews - Tripping Billies. This is only a list I've compiled for now. Others will be added and some removed. If you cant tell I want to aim a very wide age range audiance. Older rock mix with newer rock, plus writting Originals.

The Interview process for band members will likely follow as:
General Conversation (Ice Breaking)
Introduce myself
How they feel about their playing
Past Experiences good and bad w/ previous bands (if any)
Feelings about a democracy within a band
Lyrical writting skills (examples if any)
Tape of playing - also live playing if needed

Im sure I'll readjust as needed. Since Jaime will be assisting in the decision process. I trust her judge of character along with mine, but should i miss something and she catches, I'll listen to her. She'll likely come up with some questions too, for me to ask.

Well, to end this post for now, i need to go get cigerettes
 
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Music   
04:35am 13/06/2003
 
mood: weird
music: Black Oak Arkansas/Kenny Wayne Shepard
I like to restart a band, but if and when I do, I'll be picky about my bandmates. For one, I dont want self-rightous guitarists who think they're the next van halen, santana, Eric Johnson, Satriani..etc. or even bass players who think they're les claypool or gene simmons. I myself being a drummer dont think im the next buddy rich, niel peart or even Steve Smith. I want bandmates who are serious musician but also play for fun. My band wouldnt be "MY" band. It would a democracy, where everyone likes something or not. no 1 againist 3 for an idea. Til originals can be written, covers to start. I want to cover a couple of Black Oak Arkansas and Commander Cody and various older artist for the older age crowd, BUT also newer bands for the younger crowds like MatchBox 20 and Eve 6. Im for various sounds, so the music doesnt all sound the same. Pla some blues rock, moderate rock, couple heavy stuff. Heck maybe a bluegrass song you never know. But gotta have that job first, before i go interviewing ppl for a band. Yes, i said interview ppl. get to know about the person then listen to their playing ability. Why? well just talking to someone i can determine how they uphold to my ideas of an ideal band, Then i can judge their playing skills. Im sure Jaime will be by myside during the interviews. as a second personal opinion.
 
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Job hunting   
04:27am 13/06/2003
 
mood: sleepy
music: Hot Rod Lincoln
Tis the night before interview(s)
and I'm still awake
One is definite
another one to make
2nd shift at my fathers
a job is a job
but some happiness
is better than a sob
Though I still hunt
a better job to find
a computer job
I wouldnt mind
PC skills I lack
I'll find a way
wont be school
how, I cannot say
Good luck to me
a job a seek
a better one more so
tongue in cheek
Sleep I go
may rest i get
I sound like Yoda
else are here I sit
 
     Post
 
I f*cked up again   
06:43am 12/06/2003
  The subject says it all. I just messed up again. I lied to Jaime, and why? Mostly b/c i want her to be happy with us and for some reaason i have to lie about it. I've lied about so many things. that sometimes i do wish i can go back and fix it but i cant. It will be my fault if she leaves me, cant say that i dont blame her. Had someone done this to me i dont think i would stay either. So what am I to do? the onnly options i have arent much. no job, no money to pay the car off, thus meaning its going to get repoed. My brother moved home b/c of his divorce. plus my nephew currently lives there too. so me moving home might be a problem. cant live out of the car, if its repoed. i could ask friends to stay with. dont have many of those either.
So i screwed up my life. Ive made Jaime mad and really upset. My past hurts me in the present, b/c i want to cover up what i've really done. B/c I'm happy with Jaime and Connor. Im ashamed of what i've done and i cant take it back. I want Jaime to be happy, even if we do split, and right now that looks very possible. I cant say how sorry i am, and i dont blame her. My fuck up, my problem. It will hurt me alot to see her go. for I do truly love Jaime. Everything about her i love, and i lied.
People usually joking tell me i need help. thing is, its true i do need help. though i cant afford it. Although, they dont make drugs to fix compulsive liars. yes i need to be more honest, yes i shouldnt lie. im not even a good liar. But for now i should go sleep on the couch. Sleeping with jaime in our bed might piss her off more at me. and i dont want her to be upset more than she is. I like to try and save our relationship though it looks like am past and beyond repair. I fucked up and all can say is I'm sorry.
 
     Post
 
Entry #1   
12:24am 12/06/2003
  This is the Start of my Journal. So Welcome all. I'm sure I'll have plenty to write during this time of my life. Being Jobless and trying to find one. Lack of Money to do anything. and bill collectors wanting what I dont have.
My mind tells this is enough for today. since setting up an account takes awhile ;)
 
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