| Thinkin bout deletin my journal .... |
[09 Apr 2003|05:46pm] |
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mood |
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 enraged |
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music |
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Dead inside .... song i wrote last year |
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i'm thinkin about deletin this shit .... i'm not consistent with it ne way plus i jus dont see the purpose in talkin about my day that much ne more .... i dont comment on ne onez journal except maybe once a month or somethin like that ..... i'm not sure .... i mean when i do update my journal it never seems like someting worth tellin .... n besides i'm slowly but surely turning back into my old self again .... sorry .... prolly disappointin a lot of people by sayin that but oh well .... i cant make everyone happy ..... i cant even make myself happy ..... i walk around here n pretend everything is fine but in reality everything iznt fine .... sorry but itz true .... i've been lyin to people sayin shit wuz cool but fuck it .... itz not cool .... nothin iz cool .... the only thing that keeps me from goin off the edge is christina n jessie ..... other than them i dont really have shit to hold on to ..... i have pretty much managed to push everyone else away ..... kinda wish i didnt .... but i did .... i pushed away someone that i loved soooooo much n i cant get that back cuz i fucked up .... but it jus goes to show that no matter how good a person has shit things always fuck up .... oh well ..... i'm so fuckin ready to graduate .... my grades are slippin .... i guess thas cause i got really depressed cause of my parents n shit .... but fuck it n fuck them ..... i'm graduating n they arent gonna fuck this up for me ..... then after graduation off to Cali i go .... ha ha .... not really lookin forward to it .... people down there be trippin .... oh well .... well ne ways i found out my peeps arent goin to graduation .... thas fucked up my parents aint graduation ..... oh well ..... fuck em .... like i said .... i'll walk across the stage reguardless ..... well .... i'm out .... muahz
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[20 Mar 2003|06:19pm] |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISSI ...... I LOVE YOU GURL .....
for the rest of u haterz .... suck a dick ....
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[03 Mar 2003|09:13pm] |
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right now i'm feelin blank n i dont have shit to say .... so i'm out ....
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| fuck school |
[26 Feb 2003|12:06pm] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
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music |
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what by eve |
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okay so i might be getting suspended ...
yeah thas right.... all cause of these
stupid ass teacherz ... so i wuz talkin to
my friend in class today n i said somethin
n then my teacher goes why arent u doin
ur assignment n i said we only have ten minutes
i started on it i got frustrated cause the computer
wasnt workin n he goes well ur not gonna sit here
n talk n i wuz like ok n then he goes well sit down
n i'm like yo why u yellin.... n he said something
so i wuz like yeah wutever .... my friend darell
wuz tryin to boost that shit ... n i wuz like dont
boost that shit darell n he wuz like laughin so
then the teacher goes u need to be quiet n i
wuz like i wuznt talkin to you.... so then he
goes we aint gonna do the attitude thing today
n i wuz like wutever .... so then he goes jus
be quiet n i wuz like wutever n he started yellin
n i wuz like man dont yell at me n he wuz still yellin
talkin bout be quiet .... n i wuz like man dont yell
at me ever again n i jus took my stuff n walked out
so i might get suspended over that dumb shit.....
i dont give a fuck ne way .... i'm bout to
graduate ne way .... i told my mom everything
n shez gonna go down to the school with me
tomorrow .... so itz wutever i'm chillin....
i'm out
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| tha fight |
[25 Feb 2003|07:46pm] |
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bitchy |
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music |
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none |
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okay so i fought my ex best friend jorge today ... yes we literally fought ...
it wuz madd drama .... he shouldnt have said wut he said .... i would get into the whole story but itz madd personal ....
so today he came up in my face n it wuz curtainz .... we squared down right then n there .... n letz jus say he didnt win ....
well right now some thingz are goin down with shay so i'mma end this .... muahz i love you shay ..... feel better mami
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| been a minute.... |
[21 Feb 2003|07:51am] |
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change tha world by bone |
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blah blah blah
it has been a minute ... havent been motivated to update my journal .... nothing exciting has been happening lately .... n ya'll know something exciting always happens in my life ... day in n day out lol.... i'm madd tired right now .... i cant sleep for nothing .... the past couple of days i have been chillin .... been writing .... doing the damn thing .... flowing ... all kinds of stuff .... having some sorta fun .... i jus wish school would be open already .... itz too cold to do nething outside so when i'm at school i chill wit my friendz .... n then usually afterschool we go to tha spot n chill .... thas all good with me ... lol ... but no one has been at the spot all week .... itz like tha spot jus died .... oh well .... when we have school monday thas when it will come alive again ....
tomorrow i am going out with my mom ... i guess itz wut u call bonding time or wutever .... hope we dont get into ne arguments cause i would hate that .... we are going shopping ... lol .... so i guess i'mma cop like 4 pair of shoes some jeanz n some shirtz n then jus kick it with mom til we go to the music store .... i got like 6 cdz i wanna buy ... the best part about all this is .... I DONT HAFTA PAY FOR SHIT lol .... itz all momz ..... cool with me ....
aight so like two years ago i wuz talking to this guy larry or wutever we exchanged numbers n stuff but we like never called eachother .... so i got online yesterday n hez online n he goes wutz up n i'm like chillin .... so he goes i havent talked to you in a minute .... n i wuz like i know .... n he goes i lost ur number n i wuz like i lost yours too .... n so we exchanged numbers again .... n he wuz like yeah wut u getting urself into tonight i wuz like i dunno .... probably chillin with friendz so he goes oh aight thas cool ... so i asked him did he have my cell number n he goes no .... n i wuz like u can call me there whenever .... n hez like why cant i call your house n i said you can .... lol ... he wuz all disappointed at first ... lol ... it wuz cute .... so then i told him i wuz getting offline n he goes okay .... 5 minz later my phone ringz n he goes i missed talking to you ... lol awww .... i wanted to die .... that wuz sweet but he cant play a playa .... hez trying to run game .... i cant have that lol .... but hez sweet ....
okay now here comes the part about tony .... me n tony are like the best of friendz now .... i talk to him everyday .... so he IM'd me n goes hey beautiful ... tryin to run game .... lol .... not gonna work ... lol ... so i said hey n he goes you know i want you back .... lol ... naw dont say that tony .... not gonna happen .... so we talked for like an hour n then i wuz like i'm gone .... peacez .... so he called too ... lol....
alll these guyz .... ugh ugh ugh .... only interested in Jessie .... so sorry .... lol ... welll
I'M OUT muahz ....
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| blah |
[13 Feb 2003|06:48pm] |
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music |
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subtle invitation by mariah carey |
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ugh... i'm mad tired right now ...
well i'm kinda sick .... so i dunno ... i might not go out tonight... but i'm planning on it cause i aint stayin home ... jus cant do it ....
Moving: well after a long conversation with my sister last night i have decided that i am moving to philly with her instead of choosing between my parentz.... thas my decision ... i mean fuck the drama ... if i stay wit my popz then momz will be mad n disown me .... if i go wit my momz popz will be mad ... so i aint stayin wit neither of them i'm jus moving in wit my sister.... this is the smartest decision i ever made for real....
my cell: okay so madd people have been callin leaving madd voice mail messages n shit so i wanna say thanx for all the love ya'll be sending ... lol... ya'll are madd cool .... muahz ... madd love to all ya'll ...
momz: she aint coming home til tomorrow morning .... i hate when she does that shit .... another reason i aint goin wit her cause she causes all the drama in her life ya know....
report card : this mami made the honor roll once again ... tryin to get me a 4.0 .... but if not oh well it aint the end of the world ya know....
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| been a minute |
[08 Feb 2003|08:41pm] |
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mood |
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subtle invitation by mariah carey |
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Since my girl shay told me to update my journal i will...
Today wuz an ordinary day ... went out wit jessie ...
went shoppin ... bought my cell phone n jus chilled ....
then when jessie left i called him n we were both drunk
lol ... it wuz funny n madd sweet at the same time ...
he told me i wuz the best thing that ever happened to him
awww... ya'll my babii can spit game lol.... we were like
sayin i love you every 2 minutes ... it wuz cute ....
so he goes sing for me n i'm like wut do u want me to
sing n he goes wutever u want as long as i hear ur voice
so i'm like ok so i start singing this christina aguilera song
n hez like i love you we're gonna have some cute babiez ...
lol... so then all of a sudden u hear him singing i love you
n i'm like who u talkin to ... n hez like i'm talkin to you ...
n i'm like ur sooooo cute when ur drunk as hell ... lol...
so we talked for like an hour .... then i talked to shay ....
Shay iz the coolest... shez a sweetheart n she has madd
love for tupac two thingz i love ya know.... lol....
shez a real nice person so she told me to update my journal
and i did so there lol.... well i dont really have much to say
so i'll leave it at that lol muahz....
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| Crazy Shit |
[31 Jan 2003|03:05pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Bad Girl by Lady Saw |
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Damn Damn Damn
I love it when we dont be havin school ...
I didnt get home til like 5 in the morning cause i went clubbing .... i jus left my computer on n everything i feel bad for the people who wuz tryin to holla at me last night cause i wuz out ... lol .... on the real when i woke up i went straight to the club n it wuz fun as hell ... i walked out wit like 10 numbers .... i aint keep none of em though lol .... jessie would kick my azz ....
so ne ways crystal called me at 8 n told me to jump in tha shower n roll over there so i did ....
T Bone : OMG we were lit like muthafuckin candlez in crystals house .... T Bone his real name is Tony hez 24 n hez like my big brother or wutever .... we wuz lunchin off that hard shit for real .... we wuz talkin about all the sit we used to get into .... like therez this bitch name kelly who livez down the street n we wuz talkin about the day i threw this steak n cheese in her face n how i wuz all gangsta or wutever .... thas the only reason people fuck wit me cause i'm real n i'm gangsta ...
Renee: omg tbonez mom iz sooooooooooo fuckin funny .... she came down to crystalz n we wuz talkin about all kindz of shit .... she wuz like tbone u'z a bitch lol .... she be off the realness no bullshit .... n we were talkin about how i slapped the shit outta kelly one day cause she wuz talkin madd shit or wutever .... me n renee have sooooooooo much fuckin fun .... like the time we wuz drunk az hell n we were about to fight these to indian dudez cause they hit my lil brother rob .... we were soooooooooo fuckin drunk n renee came out there in her bath robe lol .... this lady be trippin but i call her mama cause shez madd cool .... n we wuz talkin about the time me n her were bout to fight this other bitch at the pool lol .... i'm tellin u this gurl iz funny as hell .... she wuz like crystal dont sleep on Dee she'll fuck u up in a second n wont give a fuck lol .... then we talked about the time we were drunk as hell in the park tryin to walk home lol ....
crystal: okay she iz a lunchbox on the real ... we wuz all dancing to reggae n outta nowhere this broad gets on the table lol .... u have no idea how funny that shit wuz ... lol .... then i started crankin the gogo n shit n she sat down cause she cant beat her feet n i can .... lol ... that shit be funny though i wuz like carryin her off the no bullshit .... but thas my dawg ....
Tiffany: this whitegurl is off the chain .... shez like madd cool .... she wuz all trippin n shit ... shez like the white version of crystal ....
Jessie: I didnt talk to him all day ... I miss him .... but oh well i'll holla at him sooner or later ...
Tony: I talked to him today for a minute he wuz like he loved me n all that shit .... sorry but i aint feeling getting my heart broken ever again .... so aint nothin goin on there .....
The Car: me n mikey wuz in the car today n we murked around the corner when we saw the fedz ... we wuz like oh shit n we got all nervous n mikey had like a pound of Dro n Boat on him n i wuz like shit nigga let me out right here i aint fittin to go to jail for no bullshit that i aint even smoke feel me!?!.... i know u do .... so he murked to the hide out spot we got in LP in let me out then went around the corner n parked the car then he came back n stayed wit me for like 2 hourz .... n this boy haz madd game but he jus aint have enough to scoop me ... he wuz tryin hard az shit to holla but u know that aint happen .... I'm with Jessie .....
well i'm out holla ....
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[30 Jan 2003|07:00am] |
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mood |
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music |
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Half Crazy by Musiq |
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I dont even know where to begin ....
Karen: she thought i wuz mad at her for some strange reason ... I dont even know how to get into that whole story....
Nikki: Shez having a rough time for real .... I'm going out there tonight so i dunno ... Hopefully she will be okay ... I hate when she getz all depressed n shit ....
Went to the doctor today n i didnt listen to ne thing he told me .... something iz goin on but i really dont care even though it could be serious oh well if i die i die fuck it ya know ?... I'm not quitting sports for ne thing I love sports they are my life for real sports n singing is all i've ever known .... that n writing....
Tony: He called me the other night ... therez a lot to that story ... I'm takin him to prom n jessie is cool with it ... We have some closure to the whole relationship so itz cool ... No one likes Tony though ... itz a lot of drama but for some reason he still has part of my heart n he always will ....
Jessie: I love this boy .... hez like sooooooooooo sweet .... his Birthday iz February 1st he'll be 21 .... yay he can buy me liquor lol no seriously i dont know wut i would do without him .... i dont wanna know either hez the sweetest .... Me n him talked for a long time the other night .... hez all like he wants to marry me n stuff n i said okay u have no idea wut ur getting urself into n he goes i'm getting myself into a lifelong relationship with the girl of my dreamz .... i'm sooooooooo not the girl of ne onez dreamz .... i have no idea wut this boy seez in me but itz wutever .... so i'm goin shoppin for him tomorrow .... hez such a sweetheart ....
My bro: he says that jessie is the perfect guy for me n that i deserve someone like him .... I love my bro hez the best in the world i swear ...
Whitegurl: Me n jessi patched thingz up n everything is back to normal .... i told her i wuz moving n she really didnt have a response i'm guessin cause she dont want me to move ....
Dave: Dave is my buddy my sweetheart .... hez the chillest nigga i know in the neighborhood.... he hasnt been over here since last friday so maybe he'll drop by today .... hez so cool .... n we talk about everything .... i guess itz cause i used to mess wit him .... so we're like madd comfortable with eachother.....
greggie: alls i can say is i love greggie .... lol
momz: madd drama almost got caught cheating on my dad the other day not good ... my mom jus needs to divorce his ass n get the fuck outta here for real ....
popz: he actually took care of me yesterday ... see this is the popz i love to death .... well we didnt argue ... we talked about everything like wutz goin on between him n my mom n i realized that my mom jus drives him crazy cause she hurt him n thas why he acts the way he does .... I seriously feel for my dad ....
-Outz-
-Peacez-
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| something iz up |
[29 Jan 2003|03:12pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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candy rain by soul IV real |
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school: we had a two hour delay .... damn i love PG County schoolz .... I got my teacher to raise my grade to a B because i needed a B or i wouldnt be happy ....
Gym: I played some hard street ball today cause people wuz pissin me off i got elbowed so hard that the inside of my mouth wuz bleeding a lot .... but i kept playin ... totally overworking myself .... by the next period i had double vision .... i wuz dizzy ...had a headache.... n i couldnt move much n i wuz shakin n it felt cold though i had like 3 shirtz on n i still feel that way .... so my friend jason told my third period teacher n at that point i couldn't even talk straight.... so my friend heather iz all freakin out n shez like put ur head down n try not to move to much n she lookz down n my hand iz like shakin like madd crazy so they called the nurse n i had to be escorted outta class in a wheelchair .... n my heart wuz hurtin like hell .... n everyone wuz like scared as hell for me .... n i wuz like fucked up .... so my dad came n got me n i dont really remember much else .... so i'm home jus bein dizzy n shit ..... gotta go to the doc tomorrow ..... well i'm out love yaz all .....
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[28 Jan 2003|03:06pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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funny by gerald levert |
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TonyDCustis: back
BabiiBlueShortii: okay
BabiiBlueShortii: so wut did u say ?
TonyDCustis: what was the last thing i wrote to you
BabiiBlueShortii: u told me that u kissed her twice
BabiiBlueShortii: n i didnt let you explain
TonyDCustis: that about all of it
BabiiBlueShortii: did u really expect me to let you explain?
TonyDCustis: i wish you woud have
BabiiBlueShortii: i wuz hurt
TonyDCustis: see if you would have let me explain you would not have been
BabiiBlueShortii: yes i would because u still kissed her twice
TonyDCustis: but not on my own free will
BabiiBlueShortii: if u say so
BabiiBlueShortii: so wut r u sayin tony?
TonyDCustis: y dont you belive me
BabiiBlueShortii: i asked u wut r u sayin?
BabiiBlueShortii: that u didnt want this to happen?
BabiiBlueShortii: i dont understand tony .... i gave u my heart .... my virginity n my everything wut more could u ask for ?
TonyDCustis: hey
BabiiBlueShortii: hey
BabiiBlueShortii: did u get wut i said ?
TonyDCustis: baby gurl you know i never ment to hurt you the way i did
BabiiBlueShortii: i havent been to your house since
TonyDCustis: and you know that i love you with all of my heart and if i woul d have known that us breakin up would seperate us for life i would have not even came home for break
BabiiBlueShortii: so wut do u want from me honestly ?
TonyDCustis: to know that you wil lforgive me and that even though we dont go out that we are still friends
BabiiBlueShortii: lol thas it ?.... ok i forgive u
BabiiBlueShortii: n it didnt separate us for life ....
TonyDCustis: naw that not it i want you back in to my life
BabiiBlueShortii: in ur life how ?
TonyDCustis: well i guess not now since your taken but i want you to be my girlfriend again
BabiiBlueShortii: if itz meant to be it will happen
BabiiBlueShortii: u always have my heart i swear
TonyDCustis: i know i messed up
TonyDCustis: ask my room mate i never stop talkin about you
BabiiBlueShortii: why?... i'm not that special
TonyDCustis: yes you are
TonyDCustis: you are the first and only gurl i love next to my mom
BabiiBlueShortii: u were always there for me
BabiiBlueShortii: all that mattered wuz u
TonyDCustis: i am here for you
TonyDCustis: i will never go away
TonyDCustis: my love for you is still strong
BabiiBlueShortii: mine too
TonyDCustis: :'(i love you so much
BabiiBlueShortii: tony i love you too
BabiiBlueShortii: i'm still takin u to prom
TonyDCustis: :-)
TonyDCustis: i still wann ago
BabiiBlueShortii: ok
BabiiBlueShortii: dont ever think that i dont love you
BabiiBlueShortii: that will never be true
TonyDCustis: i know
BabiiBlueShortii: but if u knew wut i went through
BabiiBlueShortii: there wuz no eatin no sleepin no talkin .... i wuz cryin all day everyday it wuz bad
TonyDCustis: :'(
BabiiBlueShortii: are u ok ?
TonyDCustis: i really never meant to hurt you
BabiiBlueShortii: babe itz ok i forgive you
TonyDCustis: :-)
TonyDCustis: lol
BabiiBlueShortii: brb
TonyDCustis: ok
BabiiBlueShortii: back
TonyDCustis: hey i love you so much but sleep is over poring me
TonyDCustis: *powering
BabiiBlueShortii: ok
BabiiBlueShortii: i love you too
BabiiBlueShortii: bye
yeah itz me n tony but no i aint back wit him yes i love him but no he aint gonna get me like that .... so yeah we talked lol .... but i'm still wit jessie .... i'm a lil confused but ummm i'm stayin wit jessie
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| blah blah blah |
[20 Jan 2003|03:35pm] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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All I have by Amerie |
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Aight i'm at my auntz house right now ... jus chillin literally about to fall asleep cause she has no instant messenger ... damn i'm gonna die lol .... well a lot is going on at the moment... i have been doing a lot of thinkin these past couple of days ... i aint gonna lie about that you know wut i'm sayin .... so yeah letz jus start talkin bout my day
Nikki : ugh this had me cryin for wut seemed like hours .... my best friend is cutting herself once again ... i dont want her to go down that road n i wanna help her so i asked her why she waz doin this shit n she goes because of the shit thas goin on at home ... fuck .... i know exactly how she feels ... right now she doesnt feel loved by anyone .... and i know how that is ... i spent like 5 years of my life like that .... n the best feeling in the world is having someone love you seriously ... so she has a total of fifty cuts on her body n it scares me n it makes me feel soooooooooo terrible because i cant do nething about it .... i wanna be able to help i really do ... which is why she wants me to move out there ... n i will eventually .... but when she told me everything i knew i didnt have a choice ... i have to move out there ... because she needs me n i need her too .... so itz like ok i dont want my best friend to die or ne thing n i want her to be happy .... so i told her to give me a month .... but i'm not sure if i can jus pick up n leave in a month .... time to go get me a decent job so i can buy a house .... i dont know ... i told her that she could come live with me but she wuz like she hasta to have a place for her lil sister too ... so i'mma try my best to do wut i can to get a house out there or an apartment i dunno .... i jus wanna help her out ya know?!?.... this shit blows my mind cause i could hear the pain in her voice when she wuz explaining everything .... i dunno .... ugh .... i dont want neone to feel like that especially my best friend .... okay lemme tell you why nikki is my best friend ... shez my best friend cause when i used to cut she got me away from that .... how she did it wuz crazy but it worked .... every cut i had on myself she did three one day i had like 20 cutz n this gurl had 60 jus to stop me from doin it ne more ... which is why i love her soooooooo much shez like really sweet .... so i stopped cutting .... n then yesterday she started up n i wish she would've called me or something for real .... i dont want her to get hurt emotionally , physically or mentally .... but the truth is we've both been through all the various stages of hurt .... so i know how she feels cause i've been there ... n she knowz how i feel cause shez been there .... therez an unbreakable bound there ... seriously .... i'm madd worried about her right now .... i dunno wut to do .... i'll prolly go see her tomorrow ....
Chrissi: havent talked to her all day but hopefully i will when i go home ya feel me!?!.... I told her everything last night .... she now knows everything about me .... n i feel soooooooo relieved that i dont hafta hide ne thing from her ... i jus hope she doesnt ever end up like me ... she deservez better than ne thing i ever recieved for real ... thas why i spoil her with nothin but the best for real... I've always wanted a lil sister so now that i have one i'mma treat her like the princess she really is ... ya feel me .... Love you Chrissi
Jessie: Thingz with me n him are fine ... hez a sweetheart .... we'll be moving together in June or so .... yay for us lol ... then i have college .... This boy iz jus a real sweetheart ... i swear i dont know wut i want lol .... everyboy i have been with has been a sweetheart .... wut makes him different?... lol i know him .... n he knowz me ... all of me ... the most darkest painful secrets .... he knowz .... thas cause i trust him .... thas wutz so different .... lol well i dont feel like typin ne more
BYEZ
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[19 Jan 2003|09:45pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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i dont feel like typing ne thing right now ....
Dee iz a lil emotional ya feel me ?... n
i dont feel like being bothered with ne thing
maybe tomorrow ....
peacez
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| Been a minute i know |
[18 Jan 2003|08:05am] |
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mood |
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sore |
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music |
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Some song i wrote two years ago |
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hey hey blurty people
i have been through a lot of shit lately ...madd drama ... madd violence .... madd bullshit ....
Fight: I fought this 21 year old guy name Kasey like two days ago ... it wuz bloody it wuz straight violent ... n we both ended up hurtin like madd crazy .... it all happened cause he wuz tryin to holla at me n i wuz jus walkin away n his friendz boosted that shit up or wutever so he came n grabbed me ... n i wuz like dont touch me i dont know you like that Nigga ... n then his friendz wuz like damn u got straight carried .... n then he grabbed me again n pushed me up against a wall or wutever ... then it wuz all curtainz.... I rocked his jaw for real ... i came with this ill ass two piece n knocked the nigga down ... he got back up n hit me like i was a fuckin man .... n i thought i wuz gonna lose this fight for real but i wuz so fuckin angry that i didnt care .... n next thing i knew i kicked that nigga right in his nutz n started throwin shit at him .... i picked up a brick n smashed his azz wit that ... but this motherfucker wuz still gettin up so we went toe to toe ... which is wut really fucked me up ...but still we went toe to toe ... he got like 10 hits in before i jus started beatin his azz .... i'm talkin straight blowz to the body n to his face .... i must have hit him like 20 times .... n then he jumped on me .... n i think he probably cut me around that time but i didnt realize it til yesterday ... i have a big azz cut on my back .... so i jus know i head butted his azz off of me n started stompin his azz .... n then i called my boy chex n told him wut happened n told him to come get me .... so he did .... n he wuz pissed ....
The break up: Theres no more keith .... after that argument we jus went our separate ways ....
n it wuz a bad break up lol .... but i had to let him go ... truth is he deserves better ....
Jessie: I am with Jessie now ... we talk every night .... Thingz are like they used to be before jessie went to jail ... truth is jessie deserves a lot better than me too .... but ... he says he doesnt even deserve me .... who knows .... i think its cause we were already together so itz easy to be attached .... i'mma always love Jessie hez my babii for real ....
Jorge: okay Jorge wanted to kiss me the other day at school but i wuznt havin that ... hez such a fuckin asshole sometimes .... he goes oh well i wanna kiss u but i'm not ready for a girlfriend .... lol ok ur not a playa at all .... u cant play a playa cause u jus end up played for real .... n i told him well i dont wanna kiss you n i dont want a relationship wit you ne way cause ur not my type .... i've been there done that n itz wutever i mean this guy had my heart on the real n then he played with that shit so itz cool i got somebody which he is pissed about .... fuckin boyz are stupid .... but itz cool i got me a Man ... therez a big difference
The deal: My boy R wants me to start doin the Weed thang .... but i aint tryin to get caught up in sellin that shit feel me?... i'm better than that ... n I dont need ne more money ... I got enough as it is ....
Popz: Fuckin asshole .... thas all i can really say about him .... hez fuckin up ....
Chrissi: I dunno wut the deal is really .... we havent really talked about much so who knows .... a lot of shit is goin on in my mind now n i wanna be able to talk to my lil sis about everything but i dont think i can not yet ne way .... in due time everything will come to surface .....
Nikki: shez mad at me .... cause i wont go see her today .... oh well i have my reasons ....
O-U-T
Peacez
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| Goodbyez suck |
[10 Jan 2003|05:19pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
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music |
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goodbye by jagged edge |
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been a minute
sorry .... been thinkin a lot .... me n keith got into the biggest argument over some stupid shit cause he aint wanna believe me ....
Keith: aight we argued ... i told him i aint wanna talk to him .... we argued even more .... n then he goes wut u doin so i said i'm thinkin n then he goes about wut so i said i'm thinkin about u n then he goes u werent thinkin about me this whole time dee so stop ... n i wuz like u jus dont understand n he goes well wut dont i understand n so i said forget it i dont even wanna talk ne more i dont understand why u dont be believing me .... n then he goes cause u werent thinkin bout me .... n that made me soooooo sad so i said okay forget it u bout to make me cry n then he goes u aint gonna cry Dee n then i said Bye n hez like why u leaving ?.... then he goes Dee i'm sorry but i aint feel like talkin so i aint say nothin but i did cry though cause today jus aint a good day ya know ?...
Jessie : OMG jessie got out of jail today n i wuz the first person he wanted to talk to ... we talked for wut seemed to short though it wuz an hour .... lol ... I love Jessie hez such a sweetheart n I'm goin to Visit him this summer .... seriously .... i love him hez like madd cool .... he wuz like he wantz to marry me lol .... thas sooooooooo cool ..... maybe who knowz .... lol therez a possiblity for almost ne thing ....
Moving : I'm moving in 1 month where ?.... i have no idea why? cause of my dad my momz cant take this shit ne more ....
Homecoming Dance: Oh yes homecoming dance is tomorrow .... I'm going ... of course .... i should be home before 2 .... cause after the dance me n my friendz are going out n chillin then i'm going home ... lol .... then the next morning i'm goin shoppin ..... tomorrow i gotta wake up madd early lol well not madd early jus before 11 am cause i hafta go get my hair did lol n my nails done .... n then i hafta run around with sean for a while .... gotta be home by 6 to get ready though .... n then i hafta go to heatherz she wantz to put make up on me lol .... ugh i dont do the make up thing but for her i will ... lol ....
Shopping: I'm gonna spend some money .... Not on myself ... this is all for Christina ..... yup thas right chrissi .... all for you .... feel me!?! ...
well today sucked .... i got in a lil fight wit some guy so i wuznt really feelin today cause wit madd threats out on me against my life i wasnt really pleased wit everything ... but itz wutever ... if i die i die .... nothin i can do to stop that shit .... feel me!?! .....
i'm out
PeaceZ
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| ugh |
[06 Jan 2003|08:00pm] |
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mood |
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energetic |
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music |
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jump by mystikal |
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Yeah i got a lot to say but i aint tryin to type it all u feel me!?!
lol i know i'm lazy az fuck u dont gotta tell me ....
Keith: he wants to marry me ... soundz like fun doesnt it?.... oh yeah i'm 17 n my boy wants me to marry him ... Ooh wee ... cant wait ... yeah i love him but naw itz too soon for all that other shit ... love is weird like dat .... Hez my boobear but still it aint like that not yet lol
My dad: oh hez a fuckin asshole .... now hez treatin my mom like shit too ... N i aint likin it too much
Chrissi: I called her last night it wuz cool to talk to her .... shez got a cool voice .... though she says she loves mine ... i dont love mines cause itz straight gangsta .... shez got this lil innocent voice ... itz so cute .... well i did get her them jordanz ... lol though she told me not to ...We've been talking a lot lately which i think is madd cool...
thas all i wanna talk about Peacez
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[04 Jan 2003|03:04pm] |
Yo ... wut tha deal?...
I dont have much i wanna talk about ... seriously i'm doin a lot of thinkin n right now i'm more confused than ne thing feel me ... see wut thinkin does to you ... lol ... naw but seriously ... i'm jus gonna go now.... sorry if i get everything straight then i'll update later ... aight?... peacez
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| fuck it i'm happy |
[02 Jan 2003|05:17pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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when the music stops by eminem |
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today wuz real different ... had a lot to think about ....
School : it wuz madd cool ... I am tired n hungover but still school wuz madd cool n I cant wait til tomorrow.... I get to see a bunch of people ...the onez that matter most .... Greg ... I get to see him cause hez outta jail now ... yay.... I am soooooooooo happy now ....
Keith: Havent talked to him yet ... i wanna talk to him though ... I miss him like crazy .... Ahh itz drivin me crazy ... I jus wanna talk to him ... but right now i'm a lil busy .... sometimes it gets me down .... but hey itz cool We r together .... n jus cause we havent talked once or twice doesnt mean ne thing different feel me!?!
Christina: I haven't talked to her today ... I probably wont talk to her today which sux cause shez the only person who stays makin me happy .... I guess keith n her are like the two most important people in my life at the moment .... Itz jus hard to trust people .... But i trust christina n she knows i do ... yay for that ....
Maaza : Maaza aka Mazzypop or Flames is like my lil sister also ... except shez more than jus my lil sis ... feel me!?! ... I love mazzypop ... shez real cool .... Shez my rascal n it sux that i'm leaving her this year ....
Eoanna : Aight me n Eoanna have a lot goin on ... we hafta work together for this project n we're determined not to let each other fail cause we wanna graduate this year ...Eoanna is like my big sister ... shez cool as hell ... I try to make sure she doesnt fail cause that jus aint right .... so if i hafta do her work for her to pass then i will ... seriously .... I jus want her to graduate ... she deserves it ...
Greggie: Oh boy do i love greggie ... greggie is awesome .... love you greggie ... well we talked for like 30 minutes today so thas all i can say about that ...
Nikki: Havent talked to her today ... i probably will later i'm not sure ... if i call her lol .... well she has a new boyfriend so u know how shit goes .... I'll be ignored for a while .... damn that sux but itz cool i'm used to it ...
Dottie: talked to her today .... it wuz madd cool ... had somewut of a lot to talk about ....
My dad: Hez sick so he hasnt said much to me .... Thank god ... lol i think i gave him my cold ... which i caught from my friend Sean ...
Writing : Damn i've been writing a lot lately .... like 5 poems a day .... i dunno why .... jus hafta get shit off my chest ....
Tony: Hez dying .... yeah hez dying .... something iz wrong with his heart .... n itz driving me crazy cause i still love him .... n i dunno wut to do .... ugh .... it jus hurts ....
Thas all for now ....
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| New Year |
[01 Jan 2003|01:32pm] |
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mood |
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drunk |
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music |
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Dangerously In Love by Destinyz Child |
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My New years resolutionz
BE HAPPY
Get My Priorities straight
Dont play Keith
Go to church more often
Read the bible
Thas right thas wut i'm gonna try to do ....
Keith : I talked to him and i miss him sooooooooo much i dunno i think sometimez he iz too good to be true ...
seriously hez like too sweet though .... my bro sayz i deserve him ....
My bro: I love my bro .... hez my alcohol supplier lol ... naw thas not why i love him i love him cause he takes care of me n he helpz me through a lot of stuff ....
Me: I have a hangover u wouldn't believe .... despite wut u think some alcohol jus aint ur friend ... well not a great supply of it ne way ... lol .... I got in a fight .... last night .... didnt get my new yearz kiss .... did party though ... lol ... but it didnt feel right to kiss someone other than keith so i jus didnt kiss ne one ....
Christina: I'm talkin to her now .... I have a lot i still think i need to tell her .... i jus aint sure when i will tell her not that she doesnt have a right to know ... itz jus that i'mma lil scared to tell her shit like this .... feel me?... kinda scares me cause right now shez the only person i know that aint gonna disappoint me .... it jus drives me crazy cause i dont wanna scare her or nothin ..... ugh .... i dunno
My popz : ugh ... hez blowin me ... i have a feeling i'mma hafta throw handz again .... fuck it ... if he dont care then i dont care either ..... fuck him .....
thas all for now ....
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