Thursday, November 13th, 2003
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5:41 am - please redirect
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4:01 am - ME AND ZAC
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1:40 am
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Gawd what a bunch of bull today! I got up late this afternoon, and called to make sure that I would be able to move rooms. So the manager said that she could not hold a room and that it may fill up....so basically she wanted me to move today. So I called Elizabeth(aka slave labor)and told her to get dressed that we were gonna move today. It took quite sometime but we managed to move everything.
So now were in a nice new room downstairs...it's nice. I be lovin the way the new room is layed out. And we are on the western side of the building...AKA no blinding sun in the room in the morning!
So I thought that Ric was gonna be all thrilled and want to give me some nookie and shit....hahaha I guess I should have realized im talking about Ric....however he did make me dinner. YUMMY Chicken poppers Mashed potatoes and gravy!!!!!
So I found out who the girl that get's pics taken with hanson and is a lesbian is tonite. Apperently I resemble her enough to be mistaken...but whatever she is soooo fatter than me. later..
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Tuesday, November 11th, 2003
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3:03 am
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ugh I hate when I have nights like this. 5 after 3 in the morning...nothing on television....nobody on messeger...Amber is even asleep. All I can do is surf from one boring site to the next. If I had some cash I would go to the Waffle House and drink coffee and write in my journal....but that's probably not gonna happen as I have about 75 cents to my name.
I don't even have anything to be blurting at the moment....I thought that I would come here and let the wordage flow but there is nothing in my head. Ric has passed out.....I mean obviously. There is smut commercials on the television...I would go on a walk but it's FREEZING!!! Im going out of my mind here...aaaaaahhhhh
current mood:  bored
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Monday, November 10th, 2003
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12:30 am
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Well interesting interesting interesting.......
Things have been streamly weird as of late! I just found out that we have just entered the "Harmonic Concordance" and it apperently is aligning the entire planet and opening the doors between the spirit realm and the mortal realm. Now normally I wouldn't buy into all this nonsense if I haven't been totally plagued with depression and wondering why God was "testing me". Then I remembered that in Sunday School they taught that God doesn't test us....Satan does however. So I have been wondering if perhaps I am surrounded by evil to try and drag me away from God. I keep wanting answers.....probably answers that I don't need to get. Yesterday I was tempted to get one of my Wiccan friends to give me a reading. I was also tempted to get my cards that I bought a long time ago. Neither happend for different reasons. My Wiccan friend kept telling me "conditions wern't right" and I think it's that he couldn't do it....because it wasn't supposed to happen or something.
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Friday, November 7th, 2003
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7:18 pm - ooops it's been a few days eh?
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Ok let's take it back a few days to well.....Wednesday
WEDNESDAY- Woke up to Elizabeth's voice cause she spent the night. She helped me get the house defucked and then I called Domino's where I assumed I was already hired. I was informed that I did not pass the MVR inquiry for the job. So I got up and put on some nice clothing. I dropped off the Zales application and went to talk to the Lady at Grand Harbor Imports(a mom an pop peir one poser). Well the manager from Zales immediatly called me on my Cell and was like please take the over the phone interview and then come talk to me tomarrow at 4:30. So I did.
Also went up to books to chill out for a while with Eliz. Saw JJ up there and he got into it with some pagan kid. They were like throwing the fuck down infront of books! So he jumped the fense with a huge smile on his face and was like "I asked him for a ciggerette and he started talking all this eastern philosophy shit...so I hit em!" That is soooo the quote of the week right now....funnyness.
Thursday-Woke up and kinda bummed around getting mentally prepared for my interview. Around 3:45 Eliz came over to hang out and steal one of my favorite skirts :( So at 4:30 I went to the interview and it went great! I got the job and was to start on Friday. So I went out and bought a great jacket to wear to work and a button up shirt and some fucking pantyhose. Went home and kinda had a bad evening. Ric and I were being intimate and i started experiancing some pain...and then I started having flashbacks to being raped and I swear to god almost 24 hours later as it is now...my breath is quickening thinking about this...I need to type something else.
Now today- at about 9:30 my new boss called and informed me that her regional manager put a block on new hires...so I have to wait until the block is lifted. So now im all depressed and am listening to Christian Celtic Music and am trying to get in touch with God and beg him to like let me have this job that I worked so hard to get. Well im on the phone and am going to head up to the mug soon....lol
"Got my bean in a coffee cup next to my seat." Taylor Hanson Penny and Me
current mood:  disappointed
current music: Celtic Worship~Long for Home
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Tuesday, November 4th, 2003
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11:45 pm
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I MISSED THE FUCKING REAL WORLD AGAIN!!!! I can't believe this shit! I missed it last week too. This is soooo not like me. The real world is my favorite show and I never miss it! Well anyway today was some what entertaining. I was supposed to take Elizabeth job hunting but that never happened. Instead I fixed her hair and she dressed up in my clothes and we went to books. LOL when we got there ELISA was the only person on the patio. She needed to leave but she just sat there like a bitch reading her stupid book and I randomly flipped her off behind her back....it was immature but it felt good. I really wanted to just smack her in the head again. What a bitch man....STAY OFF MY PATIO!!!
Anyway Ric is cooking me food so I gotta go.
Peace
current mood:  giggly
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Monday, November 3rd, 2003
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12:45 am - NOTE FROM RIC
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I had an excellently wonderful, lazy, relaxing, day. ZZZZZ I didn't do anything. I didn't work on music or take phone calls. I didn't worry about bills. I just relaxed for the first time in over three months. That is all.
current mood: In the mood of nothingness
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Sunday, November 2nd, 2003
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11:36 pm
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So today was kinda lame. I didn't do too much. I woke up with a headache, Ric poked at me until I went to Ruby Tuesday to fill out an application. They told me that they arn't hiring right now for waitresses....bummer. I also got an application at Grand Harbor Imports. The manager said to come in on Wednesday to talk to her. Im gonna comment on how much I love the store etc....tell her about decorating my own house. I really think that I might make a good worker in the store. Im not the type to just want to stand behind the counter. I like to get into the store and help customers! Who know's....let's just hope that I do a good job.
Right now im watching the matrix on television. May I just say that I hate it when television replaces curse words. I would rather the words just be bleeped of silenced. They so far have used Jeepers Creepers and shucks....I mean come on! So anyway im gonna go watch this movie and get my snuggle on. Tomarrow im going to take in an application to Captian Joes, Zales, and get one from Friedman's and fill it out.
So with my to do list mapped out I will bid the blurty farewell.
GOOD NIGHT
current mood:  chipper
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Saturday, November 1st, 2003
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4:07 pm
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Well things started off really stressful. My husband woke me up having an anxiety attack this morning. I felt totally terrible about it...cause I know that If I had gotten a job, and was working we wouldn't be in the money situation that we are in...therefor it wouldn't have happened. It isn't as if im not trying to get a job. Im always getting applications and dropping them off, calling back...Im just not really a good canadate for a job....I have a terrible problem with working. It will always start off good. Me working just the right amount of hours, I work hard and end up liking the job. Then they see that im a good worker and they start scheduling me more hours and more hours and before I know it my part time gig has become a full time nightmare. My stress level is at peak, im tired, sick, and then it happens. My whole life caves in before my eyes. Every single job I have ever had save Domino's, Claire's, and China Wok I have lost due to time missed for illness!
Things have shaped up a bit though. Ric just called and says that he has a 20 line deal pending, and that he has sold a data card and done an activation. Then I got in touch with Faithe. She is coming over and im trading her 3 yards of white leapord print fabric for some chai tea bags. I need to be getting back to my cleaning and whatnot but I just thought I would update this thingy!
Later...
current mood:  okay
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Thursday, October 30th, 2003
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4:28 pm - Another Hanson Concert Review
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Another Hanson concert under my belt now. The following is an account of the memory of the trip from beginning to end. This is gonna be a long post and If you don't care about reading this information you might want to skip this entry....however this trip was so funny!
OK so I met up with Kat at the college and we went to her house. She ate some food and finished packing and then we left. We had a few stops for some essentials like money, and a smooch from my husband, but then we were on our way 95 North. The weather was absolutly terrible! A cold front was moving through, and it was raining pretty bad. I didn't get to drive quite as fast as I normally do so I knew already that the trip was going to take way longer than I thought.
So we were making really awesome time, but I happened to glance down and my gas light was on! I pulled off at the downtown Macon exit and OMG there were NO GAS STATIONS! So I said a prayer and pushed it to the next exit where we found a cheveron and I put 4 dollars worth in my tank.
We continued on and I called and chatted with my Cousin Adam and we kind of caught up with each other. I wanted to go and visit him but that was simply not possible because of time.
So we finally made it into Atlanta! We found the Earthlink Live with no problem and when we drove up we noticed that there were already quite a few people gathered there, some asleep but mostly awake. As I turned into the parking garage(that I did not use) we saw Patterson and Amanda T. They saw us and waved and we immediately got excited about the evening. So we found out that the garage cost 20 bucks a day and I was not down with that at all....so the search began for some free parking. We found a street with no yellow lines, no no parking signs, and no meters so I parked and we loaded up our arms with our stuff and began the hike back to the earthlink. Ok so we didn't realize quite how far away we had parked. It was pretty much a mile away! So we walked back to the car when we put our things down. On the way to the car Sasha called Kat and it was rather humorous hearing her talk about being in Atlanta but trying to not bring up the part about us being there to see Hanson, and of course I had to be Bianca cause otherwise ....well nevermind that is a whole other story in itself!
So we moved the car closer....but that was after we drove all over looking for Hanson's hotel and the tour bus. We knew that they generally stay in really decent hotels so we looked at the four seasons, the shereton, the Marriots(3!). No luck!
Back at the Earthlink, Amber and Sacha(a different one) had arrived. We were so excited to be all together again. So we talked and joked around for a while and then Amber busted out the percoset! So I took one and crushed it up and snorted it....ahhh that was just what I needed cause the cold was miserable!
Shortly after that I pulled the car up infront of the earthlink so that we could sit in it and get warm. We then decided that the only way the night was gonna get better was to go to the store for refreshments...so I got behind the wheel and began to drive...a little nervously because I was starting to feel the effects of the percoset. So we kinda were just driving along and Kat saw a blue tour bus on the corner of a street and was like Amber is that the bus. Amber informed us that the bus we were looking for was red...so no more than a block later what do we see but the Hanson bus! I was like "How can I find the bus when im fucked up on percoset but not when Im sober?" So we went and gassed up the car and Amber got ciggerettes. We drove back to the hotel and parked behind the bus. We got out and started looking around. We were trying to figure out what room they were in by what lights were on outside....because it was 4 in the morning and as Zac says they are "Fucking Rockstars" (*roll*). We somehow managed to get inside and I went to inquire how much a room was...they were booked! So we used their bathroom and went back outside...after a detor into the garage to see if the explorer was there. We didn't find anything and figured that it was too late for us to catch a glimpse of them anyway so we left.(ugh! this is alot and it's not even to the next day...i'll update in a bit)
Back at the Earthlink things began to really take a turn for the worse. We got really tired, the temperature plummeted and so did our moods! Amber was crying cause she was so cold and miserable, Kat was just like wanting to go to sleep, and I was really fucked up. But finally we were able to snuggle up in our blankets and get a little bit of sleep. When I woke up the sun was up and it was real early. Amber said that traffic was starting to get a little rough and that I should move my car. So I told Kat that we should "go change and freshen up" and we left to go to the hotel. Amber called and begged me to come pick her and Sacha up to get them away from all the crazies and so we did. We drove to a really shitty Days Inn cause nobody would change in Hanson's hotel(pussies! all of you!). We all got changed and we headed over to the Wyndam Hotel where Hanson was staying. I parked right behind the bus. We had sat there for about 10 minutes applying makeup and being silly girls when we were like "is that Zac" and sure enough it was Zac just walking down the street. So Kat asked him to stop and he said that he "Had a meeting" which was total bullshit. So as he was walking off I yelled "SHE WANT'S YOU" and Kat clapped her hand over my mouth and got pissed....I was slightly amused, but I guess in hind sight it wasn't the best thing in the world to do, kinda 6th grade you know? So then the rodie/anoyying guitar tuner told me that I had to move cause he "had another bus coming in" so I moved my car infront of the bus. What? LOL
So we sat there a while and then Isaac came out and got on the bus. So we knew he was gonna come out and everyone was like "somebody get out and say something" so I did. He stopped and was like "what's your name" and I was like "Janet" and he hugged me and said he had to get going. Kat of course was filming everthing up until the point where I shook his hand and hugged him...just my luck.
Anyway so we went to eat at Wendy's afterwards and made our plans for the rest of the day. We figured that we would sit at the hotel as long as possible and try and get a picture with one of them. Well the effort was a bit counterproductive. Not only did we not get a picture but I think that we pissed Zac off cause he was talking to his girlfriend on the phone and we were yelling his name from the car. He was ignoring us. So after that we camped inside the hotel for about 15 minutes before giving up to go back to the venue.
Nothing really interesting to report while at the venue waiting...just about 2 and a half hours of waiting.
So when we go inside, I see a spot that is front row center and I start to run. I didn't realize that the front row was a step up, and I tripped and my knee jammed into the baracade it hurt so much(it still hurts for the record). The concert was awesome. There was one security guard running around grabbing everyone's camera....but he didn't get mine!! The guys did a totally amazing job....and isaac's personal ad during his solo was classic! They came on stage at one point with Dr. Peppers and I yelled "Where's my Dr. Pepper!" and Isaac responded with "I didn't know you wanted one!" OMG how funny!
So after the show we left to run to the store real fast. I grabbed a huge mikes hard lemonade and downed it. After that I was pretty buzzed and we waited outside for the guys. Zac came out first and I started to take a picture but....he was with Kate and out of respect I didn't...plus I really didn't want a picture of him holding hands with a girl. Tay was next my picture of him was amazing! Then Isaac came out. I wasn't able to get one that upclose, but it's ok. So they went into the tour bus, and we stood there waiting for a while.
Well the waiting paid off....and so did flirting with the security guard! He let us behind the baracade where all the other fans were, and we were the last people down the line that Hanson met when they came out. I even got my Underneath Acoustic CD autographed and my picture taken with Zac! After that the bus pulled off and we headed out after bidding farewell to Patterson and company. Crashed at Amber's pad, woke up, got lost on the way home....shittyness all the way home...but once home it was so nice to shower and lay down with my sweetie!
So there is my story....without some of the drama that is just so stupid it's pointless to post about it!
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Monday, October 27th, 2003
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12:21 pm
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Waking up this morning thinking this can't be real!!!
I am actually going to go see Hanson again and im leaving TOMARROW!!!! I can not believe my luck! I am soooo freaking excited about this. Kat and I broke out the box-o-hanson last night, watched things that we recorded from their television apperances, and then we walked down to the mailbox and OUR TICKETS HAVE ARRIVED! It is so exciting to hold that sheet of paper that says HANSON really big on the top. I really hope that we get to meet them....it's my dream to have my picture taken with one of them. Anywhoo I must go....im on the search for my review of the This Time Around Tour's concert.
LATER!
Janet
current mood:  excited
current music: UNDERNEATH Hanson~Underneath Acoustic
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Sunday, October 26th, 2003
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1:24 pm
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yay so the guy came over and he really liked my work! He even asked about my actual artwork! Cheesey smile inserted here. I showed him pictures of some of the business cards that I had done/could do and I also showed him flyers that I had done/could do. He was impressed. I told him that the design for the business card style that he chose would be 40 bucks and he didn't even blink an eye and aggreed that it was well worth it. Like OMG im freaking out! My damn art is finally appreciated and it's even to the point that people would be willing to PAY GOOD MONEY for it. Perhaps I can do Computer aided graphic design as a side project....however I need to get more up on printing companies and stuff cause I did feel a little dumb that I couldn't help him out with what he needed to know with that. Im probably gonna call Paramount Press in the morning and find out what they can do. They made my overhead displays for my 4-H project in 10th grade and they looked good....so im thinking that they might just be able to help me with this project.
He liked the metallicy letters on the Ultra Poster and I told him that I could make them happen....I'll probably use a program like Cool text or something similar and then blow them up real big. The size poster he wants and the Idea he has is like really gonna look amazing. Im gonna work on some prelimnary ideas soon just to get an idea in my head for next friday.
Holy crap there's a bird in my house ahhhhh get out bird!!!!
2 days till I leave for Hanson!!!! OMG im stoked!!! I cleaned out my car today and tomarrow im gonna go to palm club and wash it and more than likley vaccum it out better. I also have to make sure that Rhonda will let me borrow a float so that I will have something comfy to sleep on. HEHEHE camping out is soooo much fun!
Yesterday was really fun (after I slapped Elisa and got into that fight with her). I hung out with Faithe at the beginning of the day. We met up and went to walmart and she covered my difference on my camera that I got! She's such a sweetie. Then we went to Books and she bought a cup of soy milk and we ganked a bunch of natural sugar packets. Then we came home and drank GEVALIA that I got from mom YUM! Afterwards I dropped her off at her house and then I had Elizabeth with me. Poor thing she really misses Tom. She tried calling him all day long from my phone and then like the second I walked through the door from dropping her off he called. Ric was considering going to visit his mom this evening.....im not looking forward to that. I don't really enjoy his mother's company. She always tries to pry into our financial situation, and then she like feels bad that she never calls or visits herself so she like gives Ric money that he never wants to take, and he's always so moody and stressed out when he leaves. I have this feeling that he's really angry with his mother for the way that she used to be when he was a boy. He sees now that there are a whole lot of people who were raised by struggling single mothers(example A: your's truly)and that we turned out pretty ok. I think that he feels a bit neglected because he was always so self sufficiant, and he didn't get a lot of attention. I don't really like to talk about this with him, cause I know that it brings it all back for him and makes it hurt again. I just wish that whatever it was he was feeling towards his mother he would let out....but then again im one to talk....I have the same thing going on with my Dad. Where im greatful for the time that we spend together so I don't want to spoil it by starting shit and arguing with him about shit that happened in the past. It's really difficult sometimes not to tell him how he hurt me as a little girl, and how much it really would have ment for me to have a father growing up. Oh well it's never gonna happen. For some reason I look at him....and I just want us to laugh and have a good time, I don't want to start problems with him, and I want so desperately for him to connect with me...but we seem like we are perpetually on two seperate orbits. aye....
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Saturday, October 25th, 2003
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11:55 am
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omg ok....so I just got back from Elisa's house and as per usual you can't tell her anything about herself, or how she embarassed you, or pissed off in any way she just can't deal with it. So she fucking yelled at me and called me a bitch and a cunt and made some comment about how I was unable to get a job.....so I smacked her in the head. I probably shouldn't have hit her, but I can't deal with her bullshit man....it's driving me absolutly crazy. It is really great having her around sometimes, but I think she's causing more harm in my life than good half the time. She just complains all the time about everything, and never wants to do anything. I try so hard to just forgive and forget all the time....but she never apologizes for her insane outbursts. I somehow knew this was eventually going to happen. She just doesn't realize all the people that she implements. She needs to have her head checked cause she's skitzo as a damn muthafuka. It really sucks that this has to keep happening, but I sit an I listen to her critisims and her bitching, and her complaints and try and make the best of it.....I give her books on Tao to help her calm down her shit and she reads it and is like spiritualized for like 30 seconds and then she's back to her Oh Woe is Me routine....
I keep saying that Im not gonna give her anymore chances and then I do and I feel fucking retarted for it....and here I am sitting at the computer once again feeling retarted for giving her her 5th chance to fucking burn me. Im just gonna plain stop rebuilding the bridges that she burns.....she needn't call again....I think that I am just about through rebuliding burnt bridges.
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10:18 am
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Ok so the party went pretty well up until the end. I got to see a lot of friends that I hadn't seen in a while, and I met some people that I had talked to online just hadn't met. It was really fun and I got way drunk for a while. So once I had sobered up everything started getting a bit shitty. As I was coming down off my buzz I began noticing that there were several people looking a bit "monkey faced". So Im outside talking to ______and she said she was rollin. So Elisa is like OMG do you have another one I haven't rolled in forever and I really really need to roll....like she was feinding or some shit. ______ said that she only had one and that she had eaten it. So Elisa got all sad and then it started.....Her ever popular quest for the elusive bean. I myself knew that I couldn't take one at that point cause Ric was like passing out on a chair and needed to get home and it was late anyway. So im talking to J______ and he said that he could help us out for next friday, and that had he have had some kind of prior knowldge of us wanting that he could have helped us out before. So I told Elisa that if she wanted we could give some money to J____ and that he could have us set up for next Friday when we were supposed to go to Club 5 for a Halloween Party. So anyway.....we go to the ATM and she get's 60 bucks enough for me, her, and Dustin. And we go back in the house. I turn around and she's gone....so im like "OK? WTF?" Well she had went to the bathroom. So then we go in the room where J_______ is spinning and she is all "I left the money in the car" so I give her my keys and at this point im really annoyed because not only is she doing her little feind out thing but she is already drunk as fucking shit, im tired, and Ric is beyond ready to go home....J_______ was just spinning. So I wait and Wait .....and wait and im looking at Ric and he looks soooo tired and im like....Let me go find your fool ass sister.
So I found her and she was sitting outside. So Im all like "ummm hello?" and she's like "I sent R____ on a quest for me. And im like "WHAT!!!!" and then she's like "He said that he can give me a ride home later." So then I do my whole im pissed off but not trying to cause a scene so im gonna be quiet thing. Ric comes out and I grab him and drag him outside and let him know what is going on. So now he's really pissed cause he found out what the hold up was all about.
So then her and R___ and these other two people who we have never even fucking met come out. And they sell her one.....ONE!!!! And then she looks at me and is all like so I guess R___ is gonna give me a ride home. Im WAY beyond pissed at this point...R____ is rollin balls so are the other two people and that's pissing me off....and so im like "Ok Elisa whatever im just gonna leave then." and I storm off in the other direction towards where Ric is standing. So Elisa is like "are you just mad cause I didn't get you one?" So I wip around because now she is really making me like want to strangle her...and Im like "Not as if it would matter cause I couldn't do it tonite anyway, but I already had the situation handled, you didn't need to do this." So she looks at the random girl and is like "you don't have anymore....cause we can just save these and do it later." and she goes "No I don't"
Ok then Elisa is like "well I guess I will save this and do it later" and she's all gonna go home with me. So I just walk off cause at this point I just want to leave her fucking ass in damn Jacksonville and let her screw her life up little by little.
So she takes the damn pill with her......WITH HER. So here I am looking like a damn chump, she took care of herself, so she's all good, J____ is probably wondering what the fuck happend to me, and she's got a damn pill on her that we have to take across state lines. What is worse.....she told me that she would get me one and she didn't. So then in the car im like "Just curious why didn't you want to go through J____?" And she is like "Well alot can happen in a week and I figured that he would forget or find the money in his pocket and be like Oh look 40 dollars where did that come from?" and I was like "He's not like that....he would have helped us out fine dude." and she was like "Well plus I don't know if I need to spend the other 40 I might need it for food or something." So im like whatever and I turn up Hanson really loud just to piss her off cause I know that she was trying to sleep. Ric has to keep telling me to slow down cause im so pissed im driving all crazy....and I thought
"I'll go home and sleep it off.....i'll be fine in the morning"....but im not. Im still just as pissed as I was in the beginning. Not because she didn't buy me a pill so much as that....first of all she knows I don't dig it when she acts like that, second of all she didn't start this shit up till she knew pills were in the house, third it was 1:30 in the morning when she wanted to start doing this, fourth yea like im really gonna leave damn Jax and leave her there, fifth she didn't know the people that she was going through well at all, finally I was so mad I didn't say goodbye to anyone.
She is not going to be very happy today but I am just gonna have to tell her straight that I have no intentions of going to Club 5 with her....that If I go Im gonna go seperatly cause I can't deal with all of her nonsense when this drug is involved. I mean I like to do it....I don't make a big ass fucking ordeal over it....I get it Great I don't....live to see another day.
I just don't understand what it is in her that clicks when she gets around X. It's like she can't fucking stand it or something. This seems to happen every damn time that I go to Jax with her....and im going to stop taking her. She is always on the damn search for it and it makes me have a bad night.....especially since I am generally the one waiting on her to either stop looking so we can go home, or stop rolling so we can go home.
I am so beyond through at this point.
current mood:  aggravated
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Friday, October 24th, 2003
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5:14 pm
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So I am going to a costume party tonite in Jax. Ric and I are dressing up like Link and Princess Zelda from the legend of zelda games!!! He looks sooo cute in his little green tunic and hat! At first I don't think that he was to into the idea until he realized that the costume really made him look a lot like link, and that it was fun to dress like a video game charachter.
MANDY MOORE IS FUCKING AWESOME I WANT HER NEW CD! Ok nevermind LOL
so other than that nothing much is going on. I'll fill you in on the goingzon on the party.
FAITHE I HOPE THINGS GET BETTER FOR U!
current mood:  anxious
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Thursday, October 23rd, 2003
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4:14 am - Jen Reedy
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Why don't you think I deserve my husband? Is it because I have an online journal and I actually journal in it? Or is it because you have seen pictures of him and you think he's to attractive for a girl like me? Is it because your jealous?
I treat my husband very well. I am quite aware that my husband is very good to me. I am aware that I am spoiled, and that he is keeping with the trend that my mother set. I am also aware that Ric and I have arguments just like any young married couple, and that like any girl I journal about it(although with it being online it is open to much more scrutiny and critcism). You don't live my life and are certianly only getting a filtered view of it by reading my journal and looking at my pictures and reading my fictional writings. What you don't get a lot of is:
Well I cleaned the house from top to bottom again. The bathroom was totally gross....sometimes life with a guy is so not glamorus! He makes the pot everytime, but there are these little sprinkles that pop out of the toilet sometimes and leave a not so attractive residue on the ring of the toilet. Then I washed some dishes cause it was totally nessesary that they get done.
I also cooked a mean dinner and rubbed Ric's shoulders. I would have given him some sex....but he was tired from work and wanted to watch the tube and go to sleep....so I let him do that.
And as nice and normal as that sounds it happens like that most nights.
Why would I fill my journal with such OBVIOUS things? Hello im a housewife! That is what we do. We are maids with benifits(ie:love support and comfort from and amazing man). Sometimes life gets out of hand...im 22 for god's sake. When your 22 your life just seems like one retarded soap opera! Especially in a small town.
I think that you have been very judgmental towards me.
I am glad that you have found some sort of entertainment by viewing this journal, and whatever, but you also have to understand that when you make comments about my relationship with my husband....especially your comment about how I don't deserve him, it makes me angry because you are basing this opinion on like 3 sentances that I typed over 3 months. I put up with just as much as he puts up with from me trust me. I have had several people say "I love Ric but I couldn't deal with ________". I deal with it cause I love him.
I don't know who has referred you to my site, but I seriously think that you need your own life. I mean the first few comments that you have made were like ....ok cool someone is reading....but now you are continuously making offhanded comments, degrading me, and even have gone so far as to correct my grammer(which is a very childish way of making yourself seem smarter than me). I think that perhaps you should just forget my about my blurty from now on. If you have a comment you should keep it to yourself, or email me and we will discuss this privately. If you persist on I will simply delete your comments and go on about my life. This is the last time that I will address you publically and waste my time and space. Please stay out of my life....I don't concern myself with your's.
Oh and furthermore:
"p.s. in the last sentence of your last entry, it's supposed to be "you're", not "your"."
im slitting my wrists now believe me. I can't believe I would ever do that!!!
current mood: aggravated
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Wednesday, October 22nd, 2003
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3:55 pm
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HAHAHAHAH Happy Birthday Zachary Hanson!!!!
Ok so anyway now that that is out of the way....im soooo excited about Friday! Eussie is having a Halloween party and it's gonna be really fun! Im also going to Atlanta on tuesday to see Hanson again!!! YAY!!!!
current mood:  silly
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12:01 pm - Another Note to Readers
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Ok im really starting to get bugged out here. Ric has never gotten upset at anything that I have written on my journal. I do remember a time when I said that we got into an argument but that I didn't want to type about it cause we had solved the problem and I didn't want to dredge it up again on the internet. But never has Ric gotten upset from reading the things I have written on here. As a matter of fact I don't think that he has ever even read my journal here. I asked him if he had once and he said that he doesn't read it cause he doen't know the address to my journal or my website by heart.
Ric and I do not have problems in our relationship. We have a loving and very open relationship. He tells me how he feels and I tell him how I feel. We don't "Hold Back" or keep secrets from each other. I have been getting some very intense comments latley. One that was so mean I had to delete it. What is even more lame is that these comments have been coming from people who are really verbal about their feelings about my life but can't even reveal their names. In my opinion if you HAVE THE BALLS to make these profound comments about my life then go right on ahead, but if you do you should at least be prepared to reveal your name.
I don't normally care what people say online, but you are making comments about my life based on one journal where I write my thoughts....no matter weather my thoughts are right or not. Your comments are so many times so off base it kills me! If you were truly concerned you would email me or contact me personally.....you just want to post your haughty responses so that other people can read them and say...."wow that person is wise" well your not wise. You have been very incorrect about most things. And your comments are not appreciated.
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Monday, October 20th, 2003
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10:46 pm
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Ric has a meeting in Jax tomarrow and I have to drive him....errrr we have to get up all freaking early tomarrow. So im off to shower and then go to bed. Peace out!
Janet
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