| Too long |
[26 Apr 2009|09:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 exhausted |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
peace and quite |
] |
It has been way too long since I have wrote in here. Years actually. A lot has happened in the past few years. I have changed in so many ways physically and mentally. Well I finally got rid of that Ian character. I got sick of all his mind games and he finally moved to Arizona so it makes it easier for us to not talk. I later found a guy and fell head over heels in love and ended up getting married to him last August. Right before we got married I found out I was pregnant and went balistic. I was exstatic to have a baby I was just so affraid of gaining weight along with stretch marks. Well durring my pregnancy I tried to work out to keep the weight down and eventually I had to stop because my hips were spreading too much and causing to much pain so the doc told me to stop. So I ended up gaining almost 50 lbs along with horrible stretch marks. My daughter is now 2 months old and I have lost 30 lbs and have 20 more to go to get back to my prepregnancy weight. In 49 days I am going to Vegas with my husband and want to be at least down to my normal weight. I need to loose an average of 1/2 a lb a day to get there. Its doable I just need your help. I remember how supportive everyone here was and really motivated me to stick to my goals. So I need you now again more than ever. I am a disgusting blob and need you to make you beautiful to the bone. I have missed you all so much and hope to be updated on how you all have been.
|
|
| back again |
[18 Apr 2008|02:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Agalloch - ...And the Great Cold Death of the Eart |
] |
Hey girls!
I have been away a long long time. Most of you wont even remember me I guess.
Anyway, since my life changed drastically, and my weight as well ( Ever since I was on this comm I went down from 134, my hw, to 119, my lw.) I went up from a stable 119 to 137 in the last 7/8 months.
So yeah, I'm back again.
Hating how I look
Hating how I feel
And with a burning desire to get back to 119 again
So this is me:
Age: 21
Height: 5.7 inches
Weight: 137 lbs
LW: 119 lbs
HW: 137 lbs
STG: 130
GW1: 125
LTG: 119
When I hit my LTG some evaluation will be done and new goals most likely will be set. This simply HAS to stop.
Motivation: Wanting to "feel" pretty
Self control is nearly none existant
Food is all around and the root of all fatness
Interests:
- Art in all it's forms
- Beauty in all it's forms
- The darker side of life
- MUSIC: Black/death/melodic/doom/folk etc metal, classical and drum&bass mainly (some pop too)
- Reading
- Painting
- Drawing
- Psychology
- History
- Philosophy
- The dreaming mind
- The human brain
- Sociology
- Religions
- Fantasy
- WoW
I most likely won't update my personal journal, so feel free to ignore my weeaboo shit from 2 years ago there. But if you'd like to talk: contact/comment me!
|
|
|
[21 Jan 2008|11:33am] |
Name: Anj
Age: 18
Ht: 5'4
HW: 140
LW: 114
CW: 137
STGW: 130
LTGW: 110
Im sick of feeling this way....i spiraled downword with my self control and ballooned up in weight. Im sick of seeing the girls in the hall who are size 0's and wishing my size 7 and even size 9 jeans would be drowning me....it all started when my best friend of 4 years gave away my secret journal to my father, and all my friends found out...thats when i stopped using blurty. up until that point this was a safe haven for me but now im away from home, away from her, and ready for a new start.
|
|
| question |
[01 May 2007|10:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 curious |
] |
does anyone eat well six days a week and kinda just eat however they want for one day a week? it worked really well for me last summer and i'm wondering if i should do it again. but would i lose weight faster if i just restricted every day? i'm afraid i'd break down and binge after a few weeks. and if i don't have one day where i go over 1000 cal i'm thinking my metabolism would go into starvation mode if i don't boost it.
what do you girls/guys think?
|
|
| hello. |
[02 Mar 2007|06:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
tell me-p diddy ft. christina aguilera |
] |
Stats:
Name: gina
Age: 16
Ht: 4'10
HW: 110
CW: 104
GW: 90
i know that everyone believes that short girls are skinny but we have a harder time at maintaining that. well, i do anyways. its hard for me. ana has been a pretty bumpy road... sometimes i have an occasional purge. my cravings get in and out of control and i hate it. i hate being compared to girls that are skinnier than i am, and well, comparing myself to them as well. i have INTENSE anxiety issues and i always feel that people are talking about how chunky i am and how fat my legs are... it really makes me hurt.
and my ana hasnt helped me all that much. it gives me some strength tho. the strength to have a disease, a disorder and not tell people about it. its a battle, it is.
and sometimes i break down and cry. when i cant cut calories or when i cant fast. i literally break down and cry and lead myself into a depressed state that lasts for days.
its so hard... so hard.
but im not gonna stop. and i want to be strong...
and ill be here for anyone that needs help.
here's and update for me that ive copied&pasted from previous journals:
so as of right now i have not eaten anything besides a hash brown today, and that was for breakfast.
and strictly to make it so that i dont fall asleep in class or pass out.
because i refuse to eat anything else today that consists of anything besides carrot sticks and crackers, unless ill have a way of getting rid of it.
so thats it for today, right now.
i think im gonna go for a three day fast, thats my goal for trying to start over.
and then ill get into a longer one.
so i'll update later.
much love and blessed be.
|
|
| I'm the new girl |
[31 Jan 2007|10:07pm] |
Hey, I'm new to this community. I was a member of thinandhealthy, but I got busy with school. Being busy has also meant gaining weight. I'm sick of my anorexic guy friend making fun of me. I'm gonna try the whole fasting thing. It needs to happen, and it needs to happen now.
Stats:
Name: Carly
Age: 20
Ht: 5'4" (I hate it that I'm short >.<)
HW: 135
CW: 125
GW: 112
I really need some support and help. I'm emo and tend to hate myself alot, so if you guys have any tips or things that have worked for you, please let me know. I've got one: Check out "Who's Your Daddy" by Benny Benassi on YouTube. Skinny, skinny, lovely girls to inspire us all!
|
|
| i need sum thinspiration |
[31 Jan 2007|05:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crappy |
] |
hey im neew to this onlyne journal thingg. but i want to introdeuce mysulf. i am huge && weigh 195, can u imagine? i kno i did this 2 myself but i need help fast, my fast is starting tomorrow, && hopefully i can go until the end of feb. wish me lucck && plz send any thinspiration my directun. i will be 130 lbs, i just hope i can get thur before i start college. help!
|
|
| I'm new |
[09 Jan 2007|11:40pm] |
I'm new here, quite obviously, and I thought it was time that I made an introduction for myself.
My name is Sarah. I am here for reasons many of you are here: I want to be a different person.
I am not morbidly obease, but I am not skinnier than a rail. I would love to be. No wait, I would die to be.
I want to say that each day gets easier, but in some ways it feels harder to do this everyday. But I feel determined to make this work. I feel it is easier to live as a thinner person and as I lose weight, and as my body feels lighter, but I can sometimes feel the energy level go down too. I have cut out most of the sugar I used to eat. Today alone I only had the suagr from a piece of fruit. Well the suagr in my diet has been abscent for several days anyhow, and I want to say that it is contributing to me feeling better. I never really drank soda or had candy or any of that, but other things with sugar. It's like a wonderful brain-chemical release.
I am also recovering from recently being sick, so I am not sure if that is why I feel tired or if its that I really have not been eating a whole lot lately. The tiredness is what makes each day feel so hard to get through. I feel as though I do not have a lot of energy sitting still, but in moving around and doing. (Is this normal?) This tends to make sitting at a desk during the day feel unbearable.
I have been eating a lot of grapfruit lately-has anyone had any good experinces with that?
Oh boy, does it sound like I am killing myself off? That isn't my intent- I just want to look good is all.
I also want to point out that I follow a vegan lifestyle by the foods I eat (and the clothes and other items I buy.) I have done my research and know my limits on following this. That part of my life has never been a problem.
It's the new elements that somewhat bother me throughout the day. Not being around food all day has been a big help. Out of sight and --obsessidly-- out of mind. I feel like I am becoming anorexic lately. Even my tummy swoops in more than it used to. (I find that sexy. And no I do not look emaciated.) And I feel that people of the past (pre-now me) would agree that there is a change in me.
Thats me for now.
Thanks for listening. I hope I made sense up there. ^^
|
|
| aww fuck |
[28 Nov 2006|09:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drunk |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the avett brothers |
] |
winter makes me eat more. it's cold, i get hungry, i eat more this time of year. i fucking hate it. i pigged out today. fuck.
|
|
| Tips/Suggestions |
[11 Nov 2006|12:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
-Drink Green Tea, contains about 2 calories and supposedly burns fat!
-Imagine the boy/girl that you like is sitting across from you every time you eat, you don’t want to look like a sloppy, disgusting fatty in front of them do you?
-Things with alot of fibre in them will fill you up quickly
-Drink a diet coke when you feel hungry
-If you receive junk food as a gift, throw it away immediately so that you wont be tempted to eat it.
-Put a rubber band on your wrist and if you start thinking about eating, snap it, you then start to associate eating with pain.
-Drink a glass of water every hour it'll will make you feel full.
-Drink lots of COLD water
-Take multivitimins, they'll keep you looking healthy.
-Sleep at least 6 hrs a night, less than 6 hrs sleep stimulates your appetite by 15%.
-Write a 'wish list'; include all the things you will do when you lose weight.
-Reward yourself when you lose a certain amount of weight/have stuck to your food goals for a week... this gives you something to aim for. But NEVER a food reward.
-Sit up straight; you'll burn at least 10% more calories just by doing this.
-Play an online game. Many at Shockwave.com are insanely addictive
|
|
| Thinspo. songs if needed |
[11 Nov 2006|11:39am] |
Skinny-Filter
Courage-Superchick
Hips Don't Lie- Shakira
Creep-Radiohead
Bleed Like Me-Garbage
She's Falling Apart-Lisa Loeb
Anna Begins-the Counting Crows
Cars and Calories-Saves the Day
All My Life-The Foo Fighters
Big Isn't Beautiful-King Adora
In Hiding-Pearl Jam
You Make Me Thick-SNFU
That Day-Natalie Imbruglia
Beautiful-Christina Aguilera
Lucy at the Gym-Jill Sobule
Anorexic Beauty-Pulp
Tunic-Sonic Youth
Feed Me-Julia Hatfield
Paper Bag-Fiona Apple
4st 7lb-The Manic Street Preachers
Ana's Song (Open Fire)-Silverchair
|
|
| no reason |
[22 Oct 2006|01:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
ween |
] |
i am so craving a lot of food right now... but i'm not even hungry. sometimes i just want to eat just for the sake of eating. i hate feeling like this. i think i'll go get a coffee to get my mind off of food.
|
|
| adderall |
[03 Oct 2006|08:40am] |
|
wowee does that suppress the appetite. i took one yesterday, had a great workout, and didn't eat all night! but i also didn't sleep all night. that's no good... damnit. but it's probably never a good idea to take adderall after 9. next time i'll take it in the morning so i can be nice and awake during the day. god, i can't believe i'm awake right now. i just couldn't fall asleep last night (i went to bed at 2). when i finally did "fall asleep" i woke up probably every 15 minutes. i ended up just getting up an hour early. hence, the early morning blog. god, if only that stuff didn't last so long. and i had a great time until i tried to get to sleep. if makes you feel way awake, but alert, and ready for anything. i guess some people don't like it, but i sure did (not including the no-sleep shit).
|
|
|
[07 Sep 2006|10:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
curious |
] |
So, my Mother gave me Hoodia...
I'm not terribly overweight, I just have that unwanted belly fat, and maybe a little too much on the thighs.
Has anyone taken it for 30 days or so? Is it safe?
|
|
| feelin good! |
[07 Sep 2006|07:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 rejuvenated |
] |
reasons to stay skinny:
1. i feel light
2. boys can lift me easily
3. i feel good
4. i look good naked... sex!
5. it's good to be skinny for theatre
6. my stomach fills up so easily i barely have to eat anything
7. it takes less alcohol for me to get drunk... fewer calories to injest
today's been good. i'm happy for once
|
|
|
[05 Sep 2006|08:08pm] |
|
I've been sick lately so I haven't been able to eat really. Although it completely sucks to be sick, it has been nice not being able to eat. Hopefully I'm losing weight now. Plus a couple pukes here and there has got to help :)
|
|
| happy september!! |
[01 Sep 2006|11:20am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cheerful |
] |
hope everyones august was great, and i wish you all to have an even better september!!!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
|
|
| today i've got a plan... |
[31 Aug 2006|07:01am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
brek--lite strawberry-banana yogurt & 1pkg strawberries and cream instant oatmeal--i know the yogurt is 100cal, but i forgot how much the oatmeal is...
snack--green grapes! yum!
lunch--campbells "soup on the go" chicken w/ mini noodles--80cal
snack--more grapes...?
dinner...not so sure yet.. i might just skip dinner altogether, actually..:0
plus, i've got light white cranberry juice and tons of water...
this morning while we were getting ready for work i saw a bag of jerky on the table.. so, even though it isn't mine or cori's, i took a small piece... it was tasty, and i'm sure it wasn't very high in cal, just because most jerky isn't...:)
anyway.. i think i am going to go and do me a little workout in the fitness room.. hopefully that will wake me up, too, because i am D-E-A-D tired...
♥
|
|
| one of my closest friends left for college |
[28 Aug 2006|02:09pm] |
she left on yesterday... so saturday night a whole lot of my friends hung out... we did some crazy stuff.. around here saturday night at the skating rink is 'freak night' so we went there and water balloned the kids... its so ironic and funny because we all used to go there 4-5 years ago when we were freaks slash punk rock... whatevvvv...
but anyway.. we went to the diner afterwards... i got a choc milk, split a frie with my home girl jamie, and got some mozz stick.. which jamie had one or 2 of.. and for dessert i didnt get anything but jamie did and she insisded i help her eat it... i had about 5 bites of cheese cake...
and i kept it alll dowwnnnn....
yesterday my momma took me shopping for some clothes for school and a new bag. all was well until she said.. 'im getting hungry' dun dun dun duuunnnnnnnn so we went to tgifridays.. we split 2 appitizers... which we didnt even finish.. the one was some cheese nachos with guacomiolie and crap.. and the other was a mix of mozz sticks, buff wings, and something else i cant remeber...
i kept all that down too...
and so far today.. its only 2:00..
i had a mango- 135
and baby carrots-114
------------------------------
249- total
i still have to go to work.. hopefully all will go well...
ill probably bring my carrots and some italian dressing and lighty dip them...
and so i dont get all antsy on break ill bring my crochet stuff!!
mm wish me luck luck luck!!
|
|