THEW40

7:10pm: Because it just HAD to be told . . .
http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1342419

Check it out!
~W~

10:36pm: TerraBM: Hey you
WReality24: Ack
WReality24: hello
WReality24: Sorry. I was off peeing
TerraBM: whatcha doin?
WReality24: eatting crackers and relaxing.
TerraBM: sounds fun
WReality24: I've been talking to Kyle
TerraBM: needed to take a break from work.
Oh?
WReality24: Yeah, well, it's kinda nice.
WReality24: Yeah, just talking
WReality24: Apparently, Kyle wishes he could talk to squirrels.
TerraBM: Kyle is crazy tonight.
WReality24: Bow?
WReality24: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1342419
WReality24: If you wanna read ti
TerraBM: He is hyper
WReality24: it*
TerraBM: your crossover?
WReality24: Yes indeedly dodly
TerraBM: so you wanna talk whilst I read
WReality24: I dunno
WReality24: I gues
WReality24: s
TerraBM: I'm driving you crazy aren't I?
WReality24: No, I'm driving!
WReality24: haha
TerraBM: :-)
TerraBM: silly bear
WReality24: So . . . did I say anything wrong this afternoon?
TerraBM: No, but...I guess I just got the impression that I'm not very high on your list of priorities. I know we shouldn't base where we go to school or our education on each other, but I think it's become so that we don't even think about the other in our desicion.
WReality24: Well, no, not exactly. I want to marry, I just don't know when.
TerraBM: Okay, look, FORGET marriage. Just forget about it, it's too far in the future to worry about right now, we both know we wanna marry each other and that's good enough. ALL I am saying is that...well I would like to know at least that I'm a little more than just...goddamnit I don't know.
WReality24: Well, sweetie, it's not that. You're very high on my priorities. That's why it's such a big deal, baby. It's hard to make my next move without considering you.
TerraBM: Love isn't something you should have to "make time for" Kevy. It's not something your supposed to schedule. I'm sorry, that's just how everything feels lately. Like I'm some task you have to scheduel into your life.
TerraBM: Man, I feel like I'm losing my mind here. Tell me this is all just me, tell me I'm just being stupid.
WReality24: No, no no no. Tricia, it's not like that at all!
TerraBM: then what is it like? Explain it to me again, maybe I'm just not getting you
WReality24: I don't know how to
WReality24: I need to go to school. And I'm concerned that going to AI will complicate matters.
WReality24: THAT's the problem.
TerraBM: why?
TerraBM: I mean, I know why, but
TerraBM: eh I dunno. I'm just being a fricking retard and you should shoot me
WReality24: Don't say that
TerraBM: why?
WReality24: Just don't.
TerraBM: Kay.
I'm sorry
WReality24: Tricia, I'm afraid of having to "make time" for us. Our love should not scheduled into blocks. But I'm afraid it's going to have to be.
WReality24: That's what I'm concerned about.
TerraBM: You know I'll wait for you. No matter how long it takes. I just don't want us to drift apart while I'm doing that. I don't want you to run off to school and suddenly figure out you don't have time for me.
WReality24: It's not going to be like that.
TerraBM: How do you know?
WReality24: We haven't drifted apart since you moved, have we?
TerraBM: no, but we have started fighting ALOT more than we ever did before
WReality24: Well, considering most couples, this is nothing.
TerraBM: But we're not most couples.
WReality24: Each fight gets resolved, doesn't it?
TerraBM: Yes
WReality24: Well, there you go.
TerraBM: So what's eating at me then?
WReality24: I dunno
TerraBM: ~sigh~ I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry.
WReality24: Well, just don't worry so much.
TerraBM: I would if i could help it.
WReality24: Tricia, it really isn't helping things
TerraBM: I'm sorry
WReality24: It's alright, but you really need to relax.
TerraBM: I know...
WReality24: But . . .
TerraBM: no but. Let's just forget about it.
WReality24: No, sweetie. Why are you so worried lately?
TerraBM: I don't know! It's just been eating at me like there's no fucking tomorrow and everytime we talk about it never gets better and I fucking don't know what to do and I know you're getting annoyed with me but I just can't ignore it, god knows I want to but it won't go away. I don't want to be here anymore i want to be with you. I'm insecure all the sudden and I just want things to go back the way they were before everything got so confusing and frustrating and lonely.
WReality24: What is "it?"
TerraBM: I don't know. I can't put a name to it.
WReality24: Well, describe it?
TerraBM: this feeling like I'm just the girl of the moment even though I know better. And everytime i bring it up you turn it into me begging for a proposal. I'm not. I just need to know that I'm more than something your gonna get bored with because I'm not there
WReality24: Tricia, I've been going out with you for THREE YEARS. You're NOT the girl of the moment.
TerraBM: Then prove it. And once again, I am not asking for a wedding ring. I just want to know you're not bored with me that you still love me as much as you always did
WReality24: Tricia, why do you want me to prove my love to you?
WReality24: I love you.
TerraBM: I love you too.
Because...because I'm insecure sometimes. And I'm lonely. And I'm me. I'm patethic and I crave attention. Why is it such a horrible thing to ask?
WReality24: Damn it! I don't understand!
TerraBM: ...I don't know how to explain it anymore than I have.
I'm sorry. I love you.
WReality24: I love you too.
WReality24: Why don't you believe me when I say that?
TerraBM: I believe you! It isn't that.
WReality24: Then what is it?
TerraBM: Sometimes I need something more than an I love you on the phone. I want an act, not just words.
WReality24: Well, it's pretty hard to do that when you're 450 miles away from me.
WReality24: Why aren't words enough?
WReality24: I mean it when I say them.
TerraBM: I know you mean them. I know that. I just miss the tangiblity we used to have. I miss being able to hold your hand, I miss hugging you, I miss kissing you.
WReality24: Well, I miss that too, but I can't concentrate on missing it when I can't do anything about it.
TerraBM: I guess I'm just having trouble doing that right now.
WReality24: It's something I've been doing since you left, Tricia. It's not easy. It's not, but damn it, I'm not going to let it keep me depressed.
WReality24: I don't question your feelings for me. Even when I was all stupid about you and Kyle, I never questioned your feelings for me.
TerraBM: I love you, I'm sorry. I'm not questioning your feeling for me, I'm just scared.
WReality24: Why? Why are you so scared?
TerraBM: Because four years is a long time
WReality24: Tricia, I haven't made any decisions about that yet.
WReality24: And to be quite honest, this isn't helping at all.
TerraBM: I know. And I'm sorry. I'm not trying to interfer. I'll just shut up now.
WReality24: No, Tricia. Be honest with me. What do you want? Do you want me to go to AI? Do you want me to go to school after I'm done there?
TerraBM: I don't care what you do or where you go. I just want to be part of it.
WReality24: I want you to be part of it, but you're making it so hard for me.
TerraBM: why?
WReality24: Because you're question my feelings for you.
WReality24: questioning*
TerraBM: No I'm not!
Look, I'm sorry I said anything.
WReality24: Yes you are! You wanted me to prove my love for you.
WReality24: Okay, okay. Listen, let's just not talk for a while. This is turning into something ugly.
TerraBM: that's not questioning that's wanting to be reassured. it's not the same thing
TerraBM: how longs awhile
WReality24: I don't know. I'll call you. I just . . . I'm upset and I need some time to call of.
WReality24: off8
WReality24: off*
TerraBM: okay
WReality24: bye
TerraBM: byr

11:34pm: WReality24: I'm still upset
TerraBM: It's changed.
So that's all you have to say to me then?
WReality24: I don't know
WReality24: I don't know what to say
TerraBM: Hate me?
WReality24: No.
WReality24: Do hate me?
TerraBM: No, of course not
WReality24: I'm sorry for the way I acted.
TerraBM: I'm sorry too. I'm an idiot and I hate myself for it.
WReality24: Knock off the self-insulting. I really don't like it.
TerraBM: ~sobs~
WReality24: Tricia . . .
WReality24: What, exactly, is the problem?
TerraBM: I've already told you, now can we leave it alone, please?
WReality24: fine, fine
TerraBM: ~continues to cry~...please don't be angry with me. I know you have a right to be, but please don't. And don't think I don't love you, because I do
WReality24: I know all that. But you're just . . . I just don't understand . .
TerraBM: i don't know how to help
WReality24: don't worry about it. just forget about it.
TerraBM: I don't want to fight anymore
WReality24: then let's just forget about it.
TerraBM: alright.
WReality24: I love you
TerraBM: I love you too
WReality24: I don't think ignoring it is going help things at all. We NEED to talk about this.
TerraBM: alright.
WReality24: Can you tell me why you needed me to "prove" my love to you?
TerraBM: okay, maybe I'm using the wrong words. When i say "prove" all I mean is just showing it. Not that you don't now, it's just that i feel left out of your life lately.
WReality24: Well, honey, it's very hard to do that when you're so far away.
WReality24: But you know you're a big part about of my life. That's why I've been considering your feelings so much in this decision.
TerraBM: You have?
WReality24: Yes! That's why I was so upset earlier about what our long-term plans were and trying to make them work together.
WReality24: That's why I've kept coming to you for advice.
TerraBM: ...~dies~ For the love of God...are you shitting me? Because the whole time you've made it sound like just the opposite.
WReality24: No! That's why I've been so upset about this and wondernig why you wanted me to prove my love when I've been trying to make it work for the long term. I want us to be together, that's why I'm having so much trouble deciding as to what to do.
TerraBM: ~hugs, sobs~ I'm sorry...I'm so sorry honey...why didn't you just say that?
WReality24: Well, weren't you wondering why I was so upset when we were talking about school and I was concerned about us?
TerraBM: You made it sound like I was weighing you down.
WReality24: I'm sorry. I guess we just got mixed up.
TerraBM: No shit. (I don't mean that as mean as it sounds)
WReality24: But that's why I was so upset about the whole proving my love to you.
TerraBM: do you understand now?
WReality24: Yeah. I'm sorry.
TerraBM: I'm sorry too.
WReality24: So, alright, well see . . . I told you that we can always recover from a fight.
TerraBM: I'm exhausted...and I haven't cried so hard in quite awhile
WReality24: Wow. That's saying something.
WReality24: (poke)
TerraBM: No, don't, please.
TerraBM: Just hold me for awhile okay? Please...
WReality24: Okay
WReality24: (holds, kisses,)
TerraBM: babe, i need to go. I still have projects to finish, or attempt to finish
WReality24: Hang on
TerraBM: for what?
WReality24: Click to see my video
TerraBM: I see you
WReality24: Put your hand to mine
TerraBM: kay
WReality24: i love you
TerraBM: i love you too
WReality24: It'll be okay
TerraBM: I know
WReality24: This was just one huge misunderstanding
TerraBM: just need some sleep. I'm signing off. Call to say goodnight?
WReality24: I love you
TerraBM: :P yep
TerraBM: I love you too
WReality24: In a few minutes. I need to get ready for bed. When are you going to bed.
TerraBM: when I pass out
WReality24: I'll call you in a little while
WReality24: love you
WReality24: good nigh
WReality24: t
TerraBM: love you too. bye