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[22 Jun 2004|05:10pm]
This will be my last post.

Thanks to everyone who read and new journal is

Blurty is pissing me off by not working.

So goodbye to this one
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....That her Lord at War would be cruelly slain... [22 Jun 2004|12:30pm]
[ mood | ]
[ music | Evil Influence - Die By the Sword ]

The Twisted Nails Of Faith

"Mirror, mirror on the wall
Shouldst not grave pleasures be my all?
For if I shall see thy Will be done
Grant Me the Witchcraft of thy tongue"

Three moondials froze in the shadow of six
As another soul passed to the grasping Styx
Clutching their trinket crucifix
Bats blew from eaves in a dissonant surge
Omens of corruption from within the church
A fetid, dank oasis still clung to fool rebirth

Alone as a stone cold altar
The castle and its keep
Like faerytale dominion rose
A widow to the snow peaks
Wherein reclined the Countess
Limbs purring from the kill
Bathed in virgin white and like the night
Alive and young and unfulfilled

Was it the cry of a wolf
That broke the silver thread of enchanted thoughts?
Of Her life as a mere reflection
(As the moon's in narrow windows caught)
That opened like dark eyelids on
The sigh of the woods that the wind fell upon

Like a Siren weaving song
From the lilt of choirs choking
Where the vengeful dead

To the Sorceress and Her charnel arts
She swept from ebon towers at the hour of Mars
'Neath a star-inwoven sky latticed by scars
To unbind knotted reins that kept in canter, despair
Shod on melancholy, fleet to sanctuary there,
In netherglades tethered where onyx idols stared

Was it the Kiss of the mist
That peopled the air with the prowess of absinthe?
Lost souls begging resurrection
From Gods upon their forest plinths
Whose epitaphs read of re-ascending to win
Remission from despair through a holocaust of sin

In a tongue hilted in invective rectums
Over signs and seals the sorceress prayed
To Death, to rend the slender veil
That Ancient Ones might rise again

As shadows swelled
The Countess fell
To masturbating with Her dagger
As the Witch gabbled spells
Cumming heavy roses all the way to Hell
As sudden thunder's grue harangue
Announced two pincered worlds

Exuding bane, something came
With the stench of necrophiled graves
To these clandestines
Who shrank from glimpsing horror
That the growls of mating houls inclined...

In pendants
(Natal trophies torn from bellies of desanctified nuns)
A demons, bewinged, bedight
In scum, prowled their circle seeking entry to run
An arctic tongue upon Her vulva
Where rubies smeared to alabaster thighs
Glittered like a contract in the purse of a whore
Receiving sole communion from the body of christ

"If blood is what thou craves, foul fiend
I will yield this witch to thee
If thou wouldst draw a veil for Me
O'er lengthening scars of age and grief"

As the Demon slavered foetid vows
And bore His prey away
In talons itching to perpetrate
The nausea of eternal rape
The Sorceress screaming in His grasp
Spat a final curse to stain
The Countess with the promise
That Her lord at war would be cruelly slain

And She would rot.
On the twisted nails of faith.

Wow, I love that song...I've known it since 2000...too bad it came out before then...

But yea anyway, I decided I'd update finally. Father's Day was boring as fuck cuz everyone was doing family stuff and I wasn' Yesterday was fun. Me, Jackie, Nikki, Jo, Baio, Cortez, and Labay went driving around then bowling...lmao hysterical. Then Me and Jackie had to go home, then last nite was an adventure...but enough of that.

Typical Kitty sick story coming's your warning...

I laid down for a half-hour nap, woke up at 3 to go to work, took 2 steps out of my bedroom and the screaming shits call my name...whoo fucking hoo.

So I didn't go to work. Let's just say I didn't get out of the bathroom in time.

And here I am, still feeling the effects of it...but I'll be ok for tonite and work and such. I hope anyway.

I'm out like a fat kid learning about a new supermarket in town...haha later


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[17 Jun 2004|04:37pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | King Diamond - Blue Eyes ]

So Im feeling pretty fuckin good...Im tired, Im working finally, but Ill be even better when i get my check next week...
Although I have a lot to sort out in my life, and a lot of reconsideration of what I do, who I hang around with, who I talk to, and who I choose to let into my life, Im ok.

Love me, hate me, or think Im fucking insane, I will live my life the way I want. And if I fuck it up, it's my fault.

I know what Im doing...even if it ends up not being the right thing. But as long as I do it my way (and yes Im sounding very selfish right now) Ill be happy. Im sick of concessioning to others opinions. If I get fucked over, I want to be fucked over doing what I wanted to do. Not what someone else wanted.

What Im trying to say is, if you like me, let me do it the way i will.

If you have a problem with that, sucks for you dont it. Haha.

On a more gleeful note, Today...Jackie and I are heading out to Orland to hang out w/ Drew and Rachael...hopefully...the plans rarely seem to work, but we'll see how it goes. But Im excited hehe.

So Ill talk to you guys later on...I love you Jackie.


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[15 Jun 2004|02:27pm]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | Cradle of Filth - Lord Abortion ]

Jesus motherfucking son-of-a-holy-bitch christ...

Yea, so i just offended half the people that read this. Sucks for you.

Anyway...I dont even know what to say anymore. Times like these are why I trust a whole 2 people...

And why I wish I was a girl. So I don't have to deal with stereotypical male bullshit.

Now Im gonna go and try enjoy life.


my pet!

Yea thats right. Cuz Im a badass. So be my friend or fuck yourself.

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... [14 Jun 2004|12:44am]
Shattered, but with hope.

I just want to be with you...because I love you.

And I will always love you.

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I Thought Drama Club was only in High School [13 Jun 2004|10:58am]
[ mood | devious ]
[ music | Cradle of Filth - To Eve the Art of Witchcraft ]

And aren't we graduated?...At least most of us that are somewhat involved in this big confusing backstabbing debacule...

I'm only somewhat involved, but enough where I feel as though I have to say something...

Can't we all fucking get along?
Obviously, no. A lot of times I feel as though I'm a middle link of sorts. Well you know what, fuck that. I'm sick to shit of people talking shit about others, when they didnt even do anything in the first place! And now we got those same shittalkers whorin themselves out for the first-comer...Oh what the fuck. I don't even give a flying french-fry fuck anymore. I'm gonna live my life the way I want, and if you're gonna talk shit about the people I love, or me for being with them, well go fuck yourself. Consider this the end, unless you have an explanation of why you come out of nowhere and stir up shit by being a whore. Or talking shit because you think you're such a badass when all you are is a stupid fucking wannabe rockstar. Fuck you all.

If you have an issue or something to say, I'm easily accessible. Leave a post, call me, whatever. But this shit is ending, one way or another. The line was drawn 2 weeks ago, and it's been mutilated.

That was because of yesterday.

Now, on a good note about yesterday, I hung out w/ Jackie, Jamie, Brian, Brian, Kristine, Jill, and Amanda..? I think that was everyone. We had a decent amount of fun at the carnival, I won Jackie a bigger and blue Pony...hehe...and she won me a red Garfield w/ a shirt that says "Red Hot Lover" anyway, after we got sick of the crap goin on, we all took off over to Kristine's to swim, where we only swam like 20 min. Then we got out and she got in trouble. So we went home.

Then there was my grad party earlier...A blast, with enough people to feed a fucking fatass like myself and a lot more. Plus, money rocks. Thanks to everyone who showed

Now, I dunno exactly whats goin on today, so I'll catch you guys later on...

Jackie, you fucking rock like hell :)


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Carninininival [12 Jun 2004|01:05am]
Yup. Thats where I was today, w/ Jackie...

Lets run down the list of people i saw...Sarah, Jamie, Amy, Amanda, Brian, Jill, Frank, Martin, Keebler, Lorel, Rob, the Roberts *shudder* and more...

I won Jackie a little white pony..and she got me a duck...excitement!

So we talked to everyone and listened to the American English...they rock...then we got white castles and played videogames...she beat my ass at Mean Bean Machine...haha

So Im to me if you like, and if i like you. Laters

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Hehe [11 Jun 2004|01:56am]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | A Shattered Angel song...forget the name of it... ]

What Makes You Sexy?
by eva71
Sexy Body Part IsYour Feet
Special Talents AreLooking Innocent
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

How odd...Me? im as innocent as a prostitute. AND I FUCKING HATE FEET. ESPECIALLY MINE. i think its cuz im white and fat they put that up there...everyone, tell me what you think my answers should be...lmao... was cool. Me, Jackie and Michelle hung out until it rained, then I dropped them off. They are Rock and Roll....hehe....;)

then i chilled w/ baio till like 1...Was fun

Tomorrow hopefully I go meet up w/ Kat and Steve and all them at the carni...if it dont fuckin pour again.

Well im doin ok...So I'll talk to everyone now or later.


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Well Well Well [08 Jun 2004|03:36pm]
[ mood | hot ]
[ music | Soilwork - Ready to Die ]

So I was up till 5 at CJ's playin, Im gonna die at work tonite lmao...well maybe not, just knowing that surviving it gets me money is its just training...i dont care though....

I have the kinkiest craving for ice cream.

Um..lets see...Some people, in particular one who should be glad i dont know them, can die. Dont fuck with me or those closest to me...or you're asking to die. And I have no problem doing it for the right reason.


Well, Im bailing for now. Ill be around...


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Hahaha [05 Jun 2004|11:48pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]
[ music | Taking Back Sunday - that cute without e song that i like ]

Graduation...Oh hear the sounds...of freedom! And no more hearing stupid comments about the people closest to me... As Mr. Shimkus said, "IM OUT BITCHES! FREE!" And for those of you who dont like the people i spend my time with, you can stick it in your ass.

Wow..does it feel good.

Ill miss a few people...but I'll attempt to keep in touch with them in one way or another.

My pup's doin alright...she's on hardcore pain meds until we see the vet...I still feel really bad for her...

Jackie...thanks babe :)

Everyone who's helped me in the last few days...thank you as well :)

I'm finally starting to feel better...well, a lot better than I have been. But its manageable now, and that works for me.

We went mini golfin today...It was a blast hehe

Im out...Ill be around for anyone who wants to talk.

With many meows and purrs,

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Just tack another one on... [03 Jun 2004|12:53am]
[ mood | Sadder than possible, i think ]

So my dog might be dead within the week. Fucking stack the shit one and top of the other, why dont you. Oh wait, it already is. Who am I kidding.

For anyone who met her, she's the fucking sweetest dog on the face of the planet

And we cant do anything for her...until we hear from the vet.

Torture...we are thinkin of putting her down, but we might be able to cure her...

...If we had the fuckin money anyway...

I swear to whatever that there is a fucking plague on my house.

And I am having a lot of trouble with it. This is the worst week of my life.

And once again...I gotta fight through it.

But thanks for the help tonite are the best :)...and thank you too Michelle...for the short time we talked, you helped as well immensely :).


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Oh the Irony [02 Jun 2004|10:31am]
[ mood | amazed ]

Yesterday morning I asked if I could catch a break.

Well guess dog has a fuckin bladder infection.

Someone or something really doesnt like me...and to be honest, I dont blame them lol

But I got the job at UPS...3 30 Am shift...i start next week...

So I guess they cancel each other out...I hope anyways...


2 Comments Post Comment

Thanks [01 Jun 2004|11:55pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | Cradle of Filth - Thank God for the Suffering ]

Thanks everybody...Steph, Jo, Jamie, Rob, and Jackie herself



5 Comments Post Comment

[01 Jun 2004|10:15am]
[ mood | Worthless ]
[ music | King Diamond - Magic ]

Continue this on with the previous post, listed below.
Courtesy of King Diamond

Suddenly I feel so cold feels as if a GHOST IS NEXT TO ME
Cold breath in my ear,
as it whispers: "KISS HER NOW"

Oh.. it was Magic I know
That kiss one year ago, a magic seal of our eternal love
Tonight she went to the Theater alone
But she never came home.....and I gotta find her now...!

I have one question to anyone...
Can I PLEASE, PLEASE catch a fucking break?
Cuz I sure as fuck could use one.
I could fucking use anything right now...Cuz it seems as though, every possible sigh of relief I get, its just a precursor to more and more shit.

And you people why Im pessimistic...

Fuck everything.
And fuck you.
And you.
And you.
And you.
And that person behind you too.
Just for good measure, that last person who talked to you too.

And fuck myself. Cuz I cant do a fucking thing right, no matter how much of my heart, soul, body, and mind I put into it.

Do you realize how much of a fucking failure I feel like?

Do you really have the slightest clue?

6 Comments Post Comment

Fuck All, Part 2 [31 May 2004|11:42pm]
[ mood | Unable to be expressed in word ]
[ music | Samhain - In My Grip ]

There is nothing to say, except...


Look at the line of pain, and tell me if you think Im ok.

There really is...I've nothing to say.

So I'll post this song, by Samhain.

Hot night
Oozing into that thing
It seethes
It foams
It splits the death of love whole

All the things you hold most dear
And the world it dies
In my grip
All the world and everything
In my grip

Hold tight
It comes
Entry level, smooth and quick
To claim its wants
It need only put out its hand

All the things you hold most dear
And the world it dies
In my grip
All the world and everything
In my grip
And the world it dies
In my grip
All the world and everything
In my grip

Your mate
Your life
Everything you are and could be
It owns
It covets
It splits the death of hope whole

All the things you hold most dear
And the world it dies
In my grip
All the world and everything
In my grip
And the world it dies
In my grip
All the world and everything
In my grip

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Fuck All. [31 May 2004|12:26am]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | None - Fuck that ]


I had a family "party" today, which means nothing more than we sit around.

I finally escape at like 9, get home like 11, i called people on the way home, and no one answers.

So I sit here, and Im fuckin lonely.

This same shit happened yesterday too.

...Why do I feel so alone? Even with a girlfriend?

I hate this fuckin feeling.


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I WILL EAT YOUR FIRSTBORN [26 May 2004|11:26pm]
[ mood | hot ]
[ music | Cradle of Filth - Doberman Pharaoh ]

So lets see here...

I'm done. Done. With high school. Amazing, isnt it.

Well it hasnt hit me yet, and I dunno when it will. But...we'll see.

The last day was fun, I said my proper goodbyes and all taht fun mushy stuff. I enjoyed it.

BEING OLD IS GAY. fucking rock. w00t.

Im goin to moraine next week for my registration to be old again.

I need to shit. Just wow. life just hit a reset button. Out into the wild yonder i go...*slaps self for sounding hillbillyesque*


3 Comments Post Comment

I've been scam-fucked...haha I should write a song on it [22 May 2004|11:20am]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | Anal Cunt - I Just saw the Gayest Guy on Earth ]

So I applied for a "job" yesterday, and I should have known it was too good to be true.

It was from so I figured "hey what the hell Ill check it out - I need money" Of course, they didnt tell me crap except that I was sellin something, so meh. I left after they said theyll interview me in 2 weeks.

Jackie came to the rescue later on. She sent me this longass petition to shut them down, and Im like "wow, these guys are pricks." cuz everything was DEAD-ON correct that was in the petition.

So to hopefully find a REAL job lol

Speakin of Jackie...she's awesome. we had a long talk, and i'm feeling really good. Cuz it occured to me what our problems were...and I will not let myself do them again. *repeats to self a million times*

Baby, you rock. I love you.

And on that note, I roll my fatass outta here.


1 Comment Post Comment

[18 May 2004|10:52pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

To put it quite simply -

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why does doing what someone specifically asked piss them off?????
Fucking Christ...
And no, right now I dont give two shits about profanity. Not like I ever do anyway.

4 Comments Post Comment

Pics [16 May 2004|11:20am]
[ mood | curious ]
[ music | Metallica - The Memory Remains ]

I got some prom pics on my tell me when you want them, if you want them.


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