LiL LiL LAMB's Journal
20 posts back

Date:2003-10-12 11:33
Subject:post birthday fun + bullshit
Mood: sleepy
Music:outkast 'hey ya'

xtra crap from yesterday; jenna was supposed to come over on my birthday but when she was about to get dressed her mom showed up, her mom doesnt know we talk so she couldnt leave oh well i was so depressed i wasnt in the mood for anyone i just went to sleep till i had to get ready to go to knotts.

today; even though i was still under medication that makes me sleep deep i got up anyways cause jenna wanted to take me shopping cause she wuvs me ;) so i got up got ready took the bus thinking i only had to wait a half hour for my connection bus to sanbernadino ended up waiting 2 1/2 fucking hours, finally it came i got there and we went to mervyns i was too shy to pick out anything so i made her pick me out something she picked out the CUTEST jeans ever. they tuck everything in woo woo, there black with a kick ass red belt. we shopped a lil i filled out a credit card thing since i can do that now didnt get approved on the spot there gonna send me a letter later, when we left we went to walmart i wanted a credit card there too... hehe there gonna send me a letter too i suspect its cause i JUST turned 18 yesterday, i think my credit is good besides old magazine bills.... so hopefully ill get atleast one lol. but umm yea so we took the bus back she got off earlier then me and i went downtown i got there at 6:30 and my bus was supposed to be there at 7:05 it never fucking showed. i was stranded i was calling anna to beg for a ride i got a bit of an attitude from her but she agreed cause i was scared shitless, it was dark but i had this really sweet but wierd guy singing to me and sitting with me till my ride came well my bus finally showed up at fucking 8:55 but anna was already on the way so i couldnt take it but i hopped on it and got off at dennys to make phone calls cause just my luck my battery died. blah tonite was NOT a good night, i finally got home at 9:45 and here i am. xoxo

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Date:2003-10-12 11:19
Subject:my birthday... woo
Mood: disappointed
Music:baby bash ft. frankie jay 'suga suga'

woo woo i finally turned 18 yesterday, its cool but wierd. i had this lil lunch planned and i invited jamie + kids, jasmin, my brother,jonathan & anna (my cousin). ha! NO ONE showed up at all. my sister had to work so it was just me and my mom, jasmin called and asked if she could come over and hang out with me for awile if it would be okay if she left before cake and ice cream i said okay but it hurt a lil to much so i told her she didnt have to, a lil later she told me she was telling her boyfriend who she see's EVERYDAY that she was coming over and he said 'aww babe i got the day off it was gonna be about us' never mind the fact that she had plans with me for a week, whatever. anna called and said as a gift she was going to take me to knotts halloween haunt and that she was going to pick up the tickets after she came over and had lunch with us, did she show up? NO. i called her and she said she was out buying the tickets and she's pick me up about 7 she finally gets here at 7:30 after me covering for her cause she wasnt answering her moms phone calls i called her mom saying she left her phone at my house. well it later came out that she ate lunch with this dude michael that she see's EVERYDAY at his apt. instead of coming over here OUCH!. dude come on i got ditched on my birthday for guy's it seriously shows u how fucking much u mean to some people. my brother never showed up for god knows what reason. i kinda expected jon not to show up cause hes a teenage drunk and had a party to go to. jamie was about to come over but i told her it was already late and i was leaving soon so we changed those plans, she was the only one that WAS gonna show up. we got to knotts pretty late and went thru most of the mazes got a lil scared but not to much. the supreme scream seriously kicks ass that is the best ride EVER it took us an hour and a half to get on it but it was worth it we got on this shittiest version on the dragon swing and then left at 3:00 am i got home around 4ish took pills and crashed. yay!

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Date:2003-10-04 23:08
Subject:dont leave me....
Mood: guilty
Music:def leppard '2 steps behind'

i was in wal mart the other day and got the worst call, my mom called to tell me my dad was dieing. i bawled all thru the store and made myself sick, the next day my grandma who i have never ever seen or talked to called me crying, telling me they said he might not live. so today i went to see him and make my peace, i havent seen this man in over 2 years and didnt think i could look him in the eye so i left my sun glasses on and when i got there all i said was 'hi dad' and he started crying, i stayed there and talked for awile and everytime i would mention something about me or my mom or sister he would start crying i have never seen my dad cry. he started falling asleep so i walked out to call my mom and jenna ended up calling me so i cried with her for awile, i was seriously afraid to go back in the room my dad didnt look like the same man ive always known. i went back but he was still asleep so i went and sat by the elevators and i went down and came back up and my brother and his mom came, and we went in there and she started crying with my dad, so then i went with him up to dialysis and my bro and his mom came back up there me and my bro sat outside for awile my dad would look over at me every once in awile and wink or smile. i know he missed me. we talked for awile when everyone was gone and he said all he wanted was me and the world, but i dont know according to him he cant make girls but whatever. i stayed there for 8 hours which i didnt expect but my grandmother wanted to meet me and vice versa, but she took forver since she a very high matinence woman, but anyways we went out to eat and caught up on some things. it was very akward. my dad can still die which is killing me inside. i have alot of anger towards him but i love him, hes my dad. when i was leaving he thanked me for coming, didnt say i love you but i didnt say it either a lil dissapointing but im okay.

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Date:2003-10-04 22:43
Subject:Love Bites - Love Bleeds.
Mood: jubilant
Music:def leppard 'love bites''

last night fuckin ROCKED! o man it was the best concert ive seen ever, including no doubt *gasp* i saw the ultimate rock gods, DEF LEPPARD it was such an amazing show. when we got there i went strait to the merch booth and spent $53 and we found our seats which were pretty damn good. watched some people simulate sex, watched some girls make out. and finally they came on and i could not stop screaming me and my sister were screaming and hungging and jumping i almost cried, i admire these guys so much, i felt like such a teeny lol but it was amazing they did like 2 hours then they ended and supirized us with 2 more songs it was soooo amazing, when we were leaving i got 2 hats from rockstar energy drink (they support 151) and almost got into a fight with this guy and his drunk bitch cause they were yelling for everyone to hurry up cause they had to pee i yelled back you and everyone else buddy, alot of people cheered me for that one there all you tell em sister! haha it was great when i got out of the gate his bitch tried to come at me telling me to say it louder so i did being the smart ass that i am and my sister pulled me away. lol. when we finally got out of the bathroom and all that and walked to the front we found our friends that we took and found out they got into a fight with someone too, but there fight was dumb they asked someone to freaking put out there joint, COME ONE MAN FUCKiN ENJOY THE SMELL! dont diss it lol but yea the girl poured her cup of beer on my friend, people are sweet huh? i bought another shirt outside the gate so i spent $63 on souvenirs and dont regret a thing. i found some groovy gloves in the parking lot. and we came home i took pills and crashed, everything was amazing.

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Date:2003-09-28 23:48
Subject:So Much Potential.....
Mood: aggravated
Music:BLONDiE 'call me'

i feel so sorry for joe (jamies son) he has so much potential, and such a sucky life. for awile i didnt bond with this kid cause the rift she caused from her saying my brother was his dad drove us apart, my brother is clearly not his dad but thats not the point. this lil kid is so vibrant, i wish i had money to take him cause i seriously would he's 6 and hasnt even touched a class room, he can do so many things if only his mother would put him in school, he dances all the time he sings and he has a pretty good voice. it just saddens me cause all he does is sit here and play with toys just to get in trouble if adrian wants it and doesnt get it. it all sucks. adrian is the most spoildest kid i know, if joe has a car adrian wants all he has to do is scream and joe gets hit for not giving it to him, joe isnt aloud to run when we go outside cause adrian HAS to win anything and everything, he is seriously gonna resent his brother when he grows up.

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Date:2003-09-27 19:33
Mood: shocked
Music:Phantom Planet 'lonely day'

so yea im still missing brian, BUT im even more pissed at him. he's never lied to me and maybe it was intentional but he still had me worried and cant even fucking call anyone. when he left my house saturday evening, he was supposedly going home cause he needed to work on monday he wanted to see his son he wanted to go surfing and all this shit, i found out the night before last night he didnt even leave riverside yet, he might have gone back now but its 4 days to late to when he was supposed to be back at work. it pisses me off cause he didnt even call me, i never expected him to lie especially not after how sweet he was when he left. im thinking he really got fired thats why he came down here in the first place. nothing much has happend around here excpet its getting tense around the house with jamie and her kids here just this month we have gone thru 30 rolls of toliet paper and about $800 worth of food. i think there putting her out on the first i can care less is she leaves i just dont wanna see alexavier (or joe or adrian) being raised in a hotel again. i have already noticed so many things in this lil guy hes funny he's always smiling, hes a lil piggy he drinks so much formula and boobie juice (breast milk). he sleeps with his mouth open and when we tell him to close it he gets this lil cheese grin like he's laughing at us, he's just so adorable. right now he's laying in my arms so sweet.

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Date:2003-09-25 22:08
Subject:Thanks Bro
Mood: blah
Music:Nick Lachey 'This i Swear'

bleh my brother was supposed to call today from prison and he didnt, see ALL boys suck whether there lust interests or family he was supposed to call at 9am and since i havent talked to him for 2 years i was really excited and have been up all day, grr to him. the only excuse he can give me now will be he got put on lock down. its either that or he was lying and wasnt really gonna call. either way sometimes this year or early next year im going to visit him so he better watch out lol. i went to the docs today and she put me on a higher dose of prozac and shes putting me in counseling and on some program to loose more weight, but hey ive been doing good i lost 7lbs in a month woo hoo! see thats the only thing boys are good for i didnt eat much while brian was here and i lost weight. but yea i was thinking about him all day and replaying everything in my head and getting more and more sad, i just miss him so much.

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Date:2003-09-22 23:36
Subject:Post Brian Blues....
Mood: hopeful
Music:Evanescence 'my immortal'

ehh i forgot how much my depression meds make me want to sleep, i recently started taking them again due to the fact that i constantly feeling like shit, i called my doc and he recomended i start them, so i did and all i want to do is sleep come 10 pm. im making myself stay up as late as possible so i can sleep in a bit. im still having trouble getting over the fact that brian is back home and probably hasnt given me more then a second thought, i miss him so much and dont know what to do. its crazy though last time i hooked up with brian (almost 3 years ago) there was a bunch of guys flirting with me and after i hook up with him again, once again theres guys flirting hardcore, can they sense that i hooked up or something? is it an unavoidable attraction? i dont know but i was at ralphs shopping and i called for a cab and the guy joe (24) answerd the phone and started flirting, i found it adorable. he asked how i was and how old i was claiming it was a new policy they had, then he called me back saying he was sending a V.i.P taxi for me and then called again saying the guy was pulling up and his name was dale sure enough this nice ass black grand marquis (i think) pulls up to take me home no markings on the car or anything, he said it was cause i was special (aww) we ended up talking awile then i sent him an old picture and he said he's call me back cause he was gonna go write some sex notes to me haha. he never called which bummed me out a bit but then tonight he called asking why i havent called i told him he said he'd call me back, well he thought i said id call him back so we talked a bit, and he wanted to come over but my moms a bit bitchy right now so its not a very good idea + im really super tired from my medication, so i called him back and we talked awile and he's quite interesting..... woo hoo maybe some fun for summer? finally.

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Date:2003-09-20 22:02
Subject:Kill Me..... Please?
Mood: crushed
Music:Evanescnece 'taking over me'

so.... i ended up hooking back up with my ex, if u even want to call him that. we ended up going swimming and he told me that NOTHiNG was gonna happen between me and him, i told him what made him think i wanted anything to happen? i mean all i wanted was a kiss lol. i love his kisses yumm ;) we came back to the house and he got in the shower then i went to after him and he started with his flirting, then asking why i was being cold to him (cause i kept shutting doors on him when he would sit there and watch me) i said i couldnt help it, when i got out of the shower i went to hang my pool clothes up and he was in the darkness of the kitchen just watching me, sometimes it gets freaky. so then i went and sat in the bathroom with the door open so it could cool off a bit before i got dressed (i was in a towel) once again he sat there staring so i closed the door, then when i got out he was in the kitchen and he's all "come here" in his sexy voice, i was playing it off im all "what" and he's all dont be afraid so i went over to him and omg i was standing with my back to him and *insert girly giggle here* so yea things progressed quite fast and it was kinda exciting cause a few people were asleep in my house so yea we got freaky in the kitchen then stopped with the fear of being caught so we went into the bathroom but we'd most likely get caught there cause everyone has to go pee all the damn time so he put a condom on and we walked up the the office (where i work) and got freaky in that bathroom, it hurt like shit man, it felt as if i was loosing my virginty all over again i couldnt relax cause it hurt so he stopped, talking some shit about how he cant do this to me, like he felt it was his fault fuck that i wanted him, but we ended up going home and arguing alot cause he thinks im some young dumb horny teenager, UH NO if i was i wouldnt have gone 3 years without sex i was proudly practicing abstinence, or the real reason i was waiting for him to come around cause i love him with everything i could ever be. i was kinda angry cause of what he see's me as. but yet the other night he was complementing me on how smart i was gahh boys suck fucking monkey dick, they thing girls dont make sense... i didnt want him to leave on a bad note, i didnt want to not see him again over something so dumb. he apoligized alot anyways. so i sucked it up and kissed his ass and left it at a good note. we hugged, he left and im here wanting to die, my heart is shatterd. but its something i have to deal with to keep him in my life. right now i have a 3 day old baby sleeping on my chest this is the highlight of my day.

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Date:2003-09-19 20:16
Subject:crazy shizzle ;-P
Mood: confused
Music:aaf 'glow'

wow, after alexavier being born my mind has been in 10 different places at once, yesterday i had so much shit to do, this is everything i went to visit jamie + baby and went to starbucks after then i was on the bus and anna (sisters cousin) asking me if i wanted to go to the movies with her cousin her and this guy shes trying to get, basicly she needed me to run interference so she can get some, then my mom calls me and jonathan is here waiting for me i havent seen him in well over a month cause his phone got disconnected THEN when i got here i was trying to talk to jon & alex, trying to get ready for the movies and brian calls me (my first love) and says he wants to come over and stay the night so im like FUCK i wanna stay and hang out with jon & alex and i wanna spend time with brian but i also had my "first date" i was going nuts. so anna was rushing me to find a movie theater & a movie to watch and jon was talking to me and brian was really upset so i said bye to jon & alex told brian that id be back just for him to make me feel like shit and say "yea yea go to your movie have fun bye" so i went and watched dickie roberts (cute + lame) i thought id be home by 11 the movie didnt let out till 11:45 so when i got home i hung out with brian and we talked all night till 6am when we both crashed. then today i chilled out but brian is still here and he can be sweet at times but shit he says makes me want to choke him, then jon & alex came over twice and were waiting for jamie and the new baby to come home ahh i wish i could hide for awile.

*sorry if this sounds really scrambled my mind is gone right now*

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Date:2003-09-16 18:43
Subject:Dear Brian....
Mood: confused
Music:Simple Plan 'Addicted'

I heard you're doing okay
But I want you to know
I'm addict
I'm addicted to you
I can't pretend I don't care
When you don't think about me
Do you think I deserve this?

I tried to make you happy but you left anyway

I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you
But I want it and I need it
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over
Can't forget what you said
And I never wanna do this again

Since the day I met you
And after all we've been through
I'm still addict
I'm addicted to you
I think you know that it's true
I'd run a thousand miles to get you
Do you think I deserve this?

I tried to make you happy
I did all that I could
Just to keep you
But you left anyway

How long will I be waiting?
Until the end of time
I don't know why I'm still waiting
I can't make you mine

I'm addicted to you

*this song is perfect for the way i feel, except i do want to do it again, i want no one but you*

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Date:2003-09-16 18:26
Subject:Why Did He Have To Go?
Mood: sad
Music:Simple Plan 'Addicted'

ahh man i hate this feeling, i love brian so much he still has my heart even after almost 3 years of not seeing him, i still have love for him, is that pathetic? he called me sunday saying he was down here from newport and that he'd probably come over, i got dressed and he never showed the next day he said he was coming over i got dressed and he didnt show till 9pm even though he was supposed to be here around 6, his dumb ass walked the wrong way lol. we went swimming well i didnt i chikend out and only got in up to my thighs lol but then we came home he got in the shower and there was lots of flirting, he lost alot of weight and kinda looks sick but still he's sexy. we sat up together till 2:30 just talking about everything, i loved it but today we were talking and i asked him when he was gonna come down and see his friends again he said "i dont have any friends" i asked him what am i!? and he said your just a female that fucking broke my heart, but i cant stay mad at him. im just so sad i wanna cry. he said he was leaving his swim trunks here for when he comes back, he did. thats a good sign right? we had the most awesome conversation and it was like he was never gone. i also found out some interesting things that suprised the shit out of me. all i know is i feel dead inside cause hes gone, i didnt know he still had my heart.

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Date:2003-09-14 20:46
Mood: anxious
Music:No Doubt 'too late"

omg, i dont know if i ever mentioned how in love i was with jamies brother but my god i talked to him for awile today, hes down here from newport, god i miss that boy he might come over, im afraid ill jump on him lol. he sounded sooooo good, and he's hella sexxxy. he's changed alot though.... he's a surfer now, he's someones father. thats just weird to think he has a 2 year old son. ahh im freaking out hoping he'll come over within these next 3 days he's down. when he said he might i got in the shower and all that good stuff. but he's not here yet *cries* when i was talking to him i asked him why doesnt he move down here and he said why? so he can not have a job and not do anything? i said no cause people miss you around here, and hes all WHO!? and i said me fool. hehe smooooth ahh ima dork. but yea all in all it was a good convo he asked me for my number so he can call if he was coming over i gave him the house number and told him i was gonna give him my cell number incase i was online when he called. and hes all "ooo summer's giving me her cell number" hehe i guess u would have to hear it to laugh. but yea, im hoping he'll come over. GOd let him come over.

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Date:2003-09-14 20:35
Subject:Last Night....
Mood: bored
Music:no doubt 'new'

i was SUPPOSED to go support some friends at there video shoot yesterday (shimmer 57) but no i had to go to a 5 year olds birthday party, it was fun but i would have rather been elsewhere. delay after delay we finally got on the bus to go to mo val after an hour & a half ride we finally get there and anna pulls up in the truck and adolfo pulls up in her car. adolfo has had a crush on me for a while and i discoverd my fondness for him too.... problem is hes 16 and im gonna be 18. well we finally got to the party and after saying hello to everyone and there damn mama we went for food YUM! my mommas potato salad rocked as usual, we went and sat by the dj this dude strait played some vanilla ice! haha it was gweat. this lil girl is so spoiled she had a dj a ghetto pool 2 pinatas a hawaiin themed party and tons of gifts. it was boring untill it got dark and it turned into an adult party hehe. i just sat around talking to michael while catching adolfo staring at me kinda creepy there. but its all good. everyone was dancng at one point to straight up wab music, i went to wash off the lilo toy from her cake and got stuck in between my aunt and uncle dancing trying to make me dance im like NOOOOOO lol i finally escape just for her aunt to kinda hit on me :-x i was talking about dancing and shes all "shoot girl i thought u were asking me to dance. i wanna dance" then i went back outside and it was a kinda slow song and i finally gave in and danced with my uncle and i was so embarresed i cant slow dance for shit and on top of that all the guys were wistiling, ahh good times :-P. finally we got to go home and i got stuck in the boring sleepy truck while jamie and my sis and michael were having so much fun in the car at one point i called cause they were swerving bad. fucking michael pic'd his hair into an afro it was so hilarious. but yea it was an alrite night im just really sad i couldnt be there for shimmer. :(

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Date:2003-09-14 20:32
Mood: amused
Music:aaf 'glow'

- Your co-worker tells you he/she has 8 body piercings... and none are visible.
- You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house.
- Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
- You can't remember ... is pot illegal?
- You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
- A really great parking space can move you to tears.
- A low-speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
- You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits, a fab exercise facility and tofu takeout.
- You're thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between aromatherapy and conversational Mandarin.
- Your best friends just named their twins after her acting coach and his personal trainer.
- It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH 2003."
- The three-hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a horrific 9 car pile-up, but by everyone slowing
to rubberneck at a lost shoe laying on the shoulder

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Date:2003-09-10 20:53
Subject:soooo crazy....
Mood: sympathetic
Music:'double dutch bus' DEDiCATED TO JENNiFER.

its so crazy and sad how life can be snatched away from you. my brothers ex girlfriend, passed away last weekend at the age of 31! she was so young and i didnt really care for her while she was alive cause she did put my brother where he is now, but today i went to her funeral and god, its so sad. she just had a new baby less then a month ago, this baby has to live never knowing her mother. i know she wasnt the best mother but i really belive she was gonna do good this time. its just so sad. i was strong the whole time until jamie saw the baby and began to cry her eyes out which made me cry. blah. even though they will never see this i am sending my condolances out to all her kids and her fiance. im so sorry ernie, ernie jr, lydia, k-lonnie, k- leah & baby erykah.

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Date:2003-09-07 22:18
Subject:Car Show Day 2? --- Hell No!
Mood: crappy
Music:the silence 'dead ashes cosentine'

bleh, we had all intentions of going today, but we were really tired and sore, and i called mike (guitarist of <151> & stigma) to see what time they went on he said it was early around 3 (we were planning on going around 4 ish) then he also said everything was gonna be ending around 6 pm so we figured there was really no use in going. so i told him "well incase i dont see you guys good luck and have a good set" he said thankyou and added "but try to make it if you can" that just made me bummed :( i know i just saw them 7 hours before i called him but still he made me feel bad cause i had the choice to go and didnt. so to get over my bummer mode we made plans to go see dickie roberts former child star, fuck my plans have never turned this bad before. me and my sister left an hour early with the craving of bacon cheddar cheese fries from jack in the crak (most obvious pun, who doesnt use this phrase?), we went and ate and went to catch the bus to meet friends at the terminal, well come to find out there bus goes all the way from sandbernadino to fontucky to ontario then to montclair before coming back to riverside so they went on an extra hour and a half ride because the stupid bus route changed. total bullshit we had all intentions of waiting for them but we went to find a shady spot to hang out and my cold started catching up with me then i felt flu symptoms coming on and i have my girly thing *cries* so i was feeling really icky, so we hopped on the last bus home so i could go rest till they came down but then we realized on sunday buses stop running at 7 in riverside so the girls ended up going to there movie theater and we stayed home all the better i guess cause im sooooo sick. damn fonTUCKY and there icky air.


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Date:2003-09-07 10:05
Subject:Car Show Day 1
Mood: sore
Music:<151> 'reject'

my god im so tired, the day started i woke up got ready and left out to sanbernadino, got there ate and started our journey to fonTUCKY. after 2 bus rides we finally got to a place where it was supposed to be a 3 block walk to the gates FUCK THAT, it was well over a mile to the first and another 3 blocks on top of that cause they werent letting anyone walk in at the first one, we had all intentions of taking a cab the rest of the way, but we got really hyped up hearing all the cars so we ended up walking it fuckin shit it was so hot. once we go to the gate we realized we had another 4 blocks to walk thru the parking lot alone, this place is fuckin huge. we walked about 2 of it and the moss motors van came by to pick us up and take us the the gate it was some courtesy shuttle SCORE! when we got there we rested in front of this huge fan that felt so good these fuckers kept bitching we took there fan but fuck it there were 3 others, let them walk what we just walked THEN talk to me. so we found the "X TREME" stage and i saw the lead of stigma so i went and asked him if they were playing today and it came out hes also the lead singer of trak 13. so we went under this tent to watch the show and bleh they werent very good. the band it self was good but his lyrics didnt fit the music. he sounds alot better in stigma they sound dead on creed. we got up and walked around after an hour or so and there were so many awesome cars. finally the guys of <151> (bitch! shut the fuck up, hehe J) *sorry inside joke* so we went and said hello and talked to a lil bit of everyone, sonik has to always do something to me, the last time i saw him he tried to make me smell his finger. (lol) and this time he ran a key chain thingy over my head i had this picture go thru my head of it catching on me and him like pulling me down hehe. then i asked mike for a favor if we could put our back pacs in the van he said sure then he turned it on us, he said with this sly lil smirk "so can u do me a favor?" we had to walk all the way out to the front again to give wrist bands and laminets to alex & his girlfriend and rick (there management team). we got lost and kept calling them, finally we found them i ended up carrying this pretty heavy box of stickers all the way back but when we were walking thru the tunnel i was walking beside alex's gf and she was swinging her arms and knocked my camera up and i realized my batteries got knocked out, i couldnt exactly go back to find them cause it was a steady flow of people pouring thru these tunnels. so finally we got back to the stage right when they were checking the sounds and i was gonna help alex sell shit but no one was buying before the set, what pisses us off it that <151> had the biggest crowd and the best turnout and yet they get the shortest set. iTS A CONSPiRACY, THEY DONT WANT US TO BE HAPPY. they played all my songs except REJECT even though we kept screaming it lol boo to X 103.9 so when there set was over we went to watch them pack up there stuff while talking lots of picture with each member we got a group shot! how awesome is that? for the alomost 3 years ive known them its hard getting those guys together for one picture but finally we did. YAY. when we went to take a picture with jimmy we had sonik take it was he was so high we said at the same time "and you didnt share?" funny shit man. finally we went and sat down to watch some band that seriously took away our good mood and put us to sleep, they were not the kind of music that should be performing on that stage on top of that they had a longer set then <151> im so pissed its not right. FiNALLY they ended and it was time for the wet t shirt contest im sorry but i was looking forward to seeing this lol its interesting. 1 girl would keep taking off her shirt and throwing it she didnt care she was naked most of the time. but shit she won $200 if i had a cute body and some balls i woulda done it too. then we were on our way to the amusement park and got on this flatbed truck thing to get a ride and after awile it turned into the BOOBiE TRAiN! the guys of kroq were all drunk and tryin to see more boobies lol it was awesome but this lil brat and was with us ruined it all by bitching and complaning that she was "embarresed" and wanted to get off she only wanted to cause she wanted to play with these lil boys. after 1 and a half ride around it was the end of the ride so we got off and went to try to find the bleachers to sit on and we came across some really smelly porta potties but we had to pee so bad so we left our things on top of these coolers for the lil girl to watch but no she was so much in a rush to find the boys she picked up our bags and was rushing us. so we went walking and about 3 or so blocks away i realized the things we bought for our mom's fucking kaleigh (the irratating hoochie) left in the place we made her jump the fence and go back in but supposedly security stopped her, i think she just sat somewhere for awile and didnt even try. so we continued walking forever and finally got to the front where our ride was. and we came home about 2 am? now at 10 am im ready for more lol im sore and tired and i got a bad ass cold but woooooo for day 2!

xoxo lamb

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Date:2003-08-30 23:33
Subject:uhh.... yea
Mood: okay
Music:coldplay 'the scientist'

gosh i was so freaking embarresed the other day, me and jenna went to pick up the wrist bands for the car show at X 103.9 and after i wanted to wash my face cause we had been walking in the heat for over an hour. well the bathroom downstairs wasnt open but a girl said there was one upstairs, so we go up there and only the mens is open, so i walk in with jenna right behind me and a dude is using the wall john. OMFG, he looked right at me it seemed like i stood there for an hour and it was less then a minuet, i turned around and started pushing jenna and screaming for her to get out almost pushing her down lmao! we finally follwed a lady with the bathroom key into the restroom and we snuck around corners to make sure he didnt see us again.... GOOD TiMES! ahh jamie is like in really slow labor, its scary i told her she better not pop on my couch or shes gonna be scrubbing between contractions lol. but yea it looks like im gonna be in the room with her. the only thing to worry about is a babysitter.
xx lamb

o yea im finding it extremly hard to type this as my nails are about to pop off, i need a fill really bad.

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Date:2003-08-28 12:18
Subject:O JOY!
Mood: drained
Music:AFi 'girls not grey'

so yea... im not entirely upset its a little extra compony so im not so lonely during the day, but jamie is here. yes adrians mom. she had absoulutley no where to go and the womans about to pop she can go into labor ANY time i just hope its not when were alone. that'd be freaky, and im not cleaning up the mess haha. adrian is being a little asshole, i cant stand his mood swings when his mother is around so thats pissing me off, also my grandpa is supposed to show up at anytime so thats fucking with my head... today i met up with jenna to go get the wrist bands for the car show she won. we also went to the piercing place, the girl is brave haha she got her nipple pierced i was there and i watch and OMG she screamed a lil but she laughed it off im sure it hurt cause my hand was a lil sore heh. but yea she got it done looks good lol as weird as that sounds. we also walked long ass ways cause she kept reading the bus scheduale wrong i finally got back to riverside at 7ish and my last bus home pulled up right when i got there so i jumped on it but i fucking had to get off at the store to get dinner, i was pissed and on top of that they over charged me on cheese and made me wait an extra 45 minuets, grrrr to ralphs. it was so dark by the time i was gonna walk home, then i saw rosalee i was so tired and kinda scared to walk alone all the way home so i just came right out and asked her for a ride, yay for me i got balls ;) when i got home i jumped in the shower from sweating all day boy that felt good. now im watching the vma's and FUCK that opening act was awesome it was britney & christina singing like a virgin, then madonna singing hollywood then missy elliot came out to i wish i was there :(. o and sexy britney and madonna kissed open mouth hehe. umm yea... i called bruce the other day and he called me back like 15 mins later which shocked the hell out of me just to say he would call me back in 20 cause he was cleaning his bathroom, how sweet he coulda just left me hanging like ususal. sad thing is he never called back :-\. o well yep thats it for now.

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