LiL LiL LAMB's Journal
20 most recent posts

Date:2004-04-23 10:15
Subject:CONSPiRACY OF THOUGHT
Security:Public
Mood: contemplative
Music:JEFF FOXWORTHY 'YOU MiGHT BE A REDNECK iF...'

life honor goodness society logic gossip infidelity freedom success rights pride
relativism sex health fame philosophy race war friends recongnition movie stars
hatred lust greed peace romance family conformity materialism school music
entertainment alcoholism death security homosexuality CONSPiRACY OF THOUGHT drugs
guns political me fornication self mutilation patriotism religion education politics elvis
i FOLLOWED WORTHLESS iDOLS AND BECAME WORTHLESS MYSELF.

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Date:2004-04-23 10:15
Subject:CONSPiRACY OF THOUGHT
Security:Public
Mood: contemplative
Music:JEFF FOXWORTHY 'YOU MiGHT BE A REDNECK iF...'

life honor goodness society logic gossip infidelity freedom success rights pride
relativism sex health fame philosophy race war friends recongnition movie stars
hatred lust greed peace romance family conformity materialism school music
entertainment alcoholism death security homosexuality CONSPiRACY OF THOUGHT drugs
guns political me fornication self mutilation patriotism religion education politics elvis
i FOLLOWED WORTHLESS iDOLS AND BECAME WORTHLESS MYSELF.

post a comment



Date:2004-04-23 10:15
Subject:CONSPiRACY OF THOUGHT
Security:Public
Mood: contemplative
Music:JEFF FOXWORTHY 'YOU MiGHT BE A REDNECK iF...'

life honor goodness society logic gossip infidelity freedom success rights pride
relativism sex health fame philosophy race war friends recongnition movie stars
hatred lust greed peace romance family conformity materialism school music
entertainment alcoholism death security homosexuality CONSPiRACY OF THOUGHT drugs
guns political me fornication self mutilation patriotism religion education politics elvis
i FOLLOWED WORTHLESS iDOLS AND BECAME WORTHLESS MYSELF.

post a comment



Date:2004-04-23 10:15
Subject:CONSPiRACY OF THOUGHT
Security:Public
Mood: contemplative
Music:JEFF FOXWORTHY 'YOU MiGHT BE A REDNECK iF...'

life honor goodness society logic gossip infidelity freedom success rights pride
relativism sex health fame philosophy race war friends recongnition movie stars
hatred lust greed peace romance family conformity materialism school music
entertainment alcoholism death security homosexuality CONSPiRACY OF THOUGHT drugs
guns political me fornication self mutilation patriotism religion education politics elvis
i FOLLOWED WORTHLESS iDOLS AND BECAME WORTHLESS MYSELF.

post a comment



Date:2004-04-23 10:15
Subject:CONSPiRACY OF THOUGHT
Security:Public
Mood: contemplative
Music:JEFF FOXWORTHY 'YOU MiGHT BE A REDNECK iF...'

life honor goodness society logic gossip infidelity freedom success rights pride
relativism sex health fame philosophy race war friends recongnition movie stars
hatred lust greed peace romance family conformity materialism school music
entertainment alcoholism death security homosexuality CONSPiRACY OF THOUGHT drugs
guns political me fornication self mutilation patriotism religion education politics elvis
i FOLLOWED WORTHLESS iDOLS AND BECAME WORTHLESS MYSELF.

post a comment



Date:2004-04-23 10:15
Subject:CONSPiRACY OF THOUGHT
Security:Public
Mood: contemplative
Music:JEFF FOXWORTHY 'YOU MiGHT BE A REDNECK iF...'

life honor goodness society logic gossip infidelity freedom success rights pride
relativism sex health fame philosophy race war friends recongnition movie stars
hatred lust greed peace romance family conformity materialism school music
entertainment alcoholism death security homosexuality CONSPiRACY OF THOUGHT drugs
guns political me fornication self mutilation patriotism religion education politics elvis
i FOLLOWED WORTHLESS iDOLS AND BECAME WORTHLESS MYSELF.

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Date:2004-02-14 11:35
Subject:THE MAGiCS iN THE MAKEUP.
Security:Public

wow the magics really is in the make up cause now im hot lol.
i realize the last entry is compleatly scrambled but thats how my mine is left after an encounter with ray *sigh*

anywho my friend ashley got a wild hair up her ass last night and wanted to do a compleate make over on me and WOW i look like a girl now hehe. she did my make up really drasticly with black eye shadow and all that good stuff ive so never looked like this before, then shes all let me cut your hair and my hair is short enough so i got scurred but she explained that i needed a haircut to suit my personality, so now i have hair to my neck with layers and its all cute and stuff and with my make up its all so cute hopefully i can get a picture on here soon. after she did my makeup ray came over and hes all damn you look hott lol and then after she did my hair he wouldnt stop staring and everytime he got me alone he was telling me how how i look and how she did a good job and all this sweet stuff. after the night was over he asked me if he could get a darvocet (pain pill) from me so i told him to come downstair with me and i gave it to him then i asked if he would walk with me out to the dumpster and he did while we were walking he was staring down my shirt (i had some major clevage) and hes all telling me once again how beautiful i am and crap haha it kinda got creepy after awile :-\ well we were sitting outside my door talking for awile and he once again told me how him and his chick arent exclusive and that its just like dating a friend and thats it lol. but yea he kept throwing that in there. then i told him how i loved his mouth and he got a blushy, it was so cute. i told him he coulda used a shave cause he hair on his face was prickly and i mentioned how i finally shaved my legs (lol) and he started laughing and hes all "this girl i used to know told me that when girls shave there legs there anticipating getting laid" i started laughing but i told him pretty much yea its true lol, but then i realized he probably thinks i wanna do him now and i dont i just wanna kiss him again so bad. i kinda miss him man hes with his "GF" till monday i think bleh :-x

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Date:2004-02-14 11:32
Subject:"RAY" of light (;
Security:Public

*sigh* ray. wow.

awile ago my kick ass neighbor ashley was telling me about her friend ray just because he has interesting tattoos, one being '2 p r 4 u' on his hand which means 'too punk rock for you' well i finally met him like a week and a half ago, hes really super adorable. there has been non stop flirting between the 2 of us, some of the most memorable moments are when i was painting his nails he was rubbing my leg and trying to hold my hand and it was so cute, when he went to get his nail polish out of his bag he put his whole body on mine and made sure to touch every part of me so i whispered 'cheap way to cop a feel' he laughed hah then when he went to put the nail polish away he did it again but stole my line with this cute lil smirk. AHH hes adorable! ive been hanging out over there every day and ive made the best of friends with all of them im compleately fullfilled for now hehe. about 4 days ago nathan (ashleys husband) was after a piece of ass so i offered to take ray down to my house so they can have there time alone, we went downstairs at like 2:30 am and layed on my couches and we were talking and i commented how it had been so ling since i kissed a boy and all that and i asked if its wierd to kiss with lip rings (he has the snake bites pierced the labret and his tounge 2 times) and he got all quiet then hes all 'wanna try?' i was shocked and i froze haha then like 10 mins later i finally managed to say 'was that an offer' and hes all yea but it passed you by haha then i asked so i cant re open it? and hes all yea but you'd have to work real hard. then i told him how bad i was shaking lol and hes all 'aww how cute your nervous!' then he got down on the floor beside me and kissed me, it was so cute cause he like brushed my hair out of my face and he was so gentel ahh hes an AMAZiNG kisser YUM!. then after making out for like 10 mins he got back ont he couch and i was just stunned still then i said 'is it bad that i wanna kiss you again' and he said 'no... come here' and i did and commenced the hard core making out. FUCK im shaking as im wiritng this just thinking about his mouth lol. he loves his neck kissed alot lol and he was kissing mine and he hit my spot lol and i let out this wierd kinda moan and he laughed but yea GOOD TiMES!. earlier that night before we kissed out of the blue he came down to my house to give me my stone sour cd that nathan borrowed and i had my pants undone cause i walk around my house like that, so we went to my room cause i was watching the OC and i told him he could sit down and he did then i went inthe bathroom to buckel my pants and i came out saying how i should keep them buckeld incase of compony and hes all 'nah be free be yourself' then he unbuckled his pants whole laying on my bed hah then he realized my mother was here so he buckled back up, then i was haing up my clothes and he was telling me about his girlfriend YES HE HAS ONE BUT... hes all 'were not exclusive' just out of the blue it was cute haha i asked him if its a bad thing or a good thing and he explained how its good for him cause of his past he has a problem with spending so much time with just one person. then i went back upstairs with him to hang out with everyone and we had so much fun. every night for like 5 nights we were playing board games and he was always flirting. but i can honestly say i started it cause when i first met him i had just taken pictures with my bitch jenna and i was showing ashley and he wanted one so i gave him one and i wrote on the back ' 2 the sexiest punk rocker, stay cool and keep this forever xoxo summer'. one day while we were playing games i took my camera up to her house and we were taking tons of pictures so hopefully i can get them on here soon but he went as far as letting nathan put the camera down his pants and take a picture, lets just say its not a pretty picture lol the way it was tooken u cant tell whats what. but FUCK hes adorable! i just cant get over it. i went up to ashleys house a few days ago to get a ciggarette and i was telling ray and nathan how i was going to get my palm read and he was so cute hes all u cant go all the way out to moreno valley this late (it was already 4 pm and i ride the bus) but i went anyways cause i figure just because i made out with him i dont wanna be stuck up his ass 24/7 so im gonna go, i went and this lady was suck a crock but she did tell me something interesting i asked about ray and she said hes just for fun and he plays games which ive already witnessed so im gonna have fun with him while i can. bleh i miss him :(

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Date:2003-12-15 04:19
Subject:Drama Drama Drama
Security:Public
Mood: annoyed
Music:death on wednesday 'no regrets'

this past week has been crazy a few of my friends abuse corecidean (a cold medicine) and they had been on this 5 day trip just popping tab after tab after tab and smoking weed and all that crap, well on the 5th day this chick i just met and her bf who ive known for awile were over here and her bf sat next to me onthe couch and he wasnt up her ass like she likes him to be well he took up most of the couch so i put my leg on top of his and she flipped out, i wasnt doing anything bad but she just started crying hard talking about how her bf loves his ex and not her and how she cant make him happy to just take his ring back and give it to (insert name here) and she couldnt stop crying she was on a bad trip, (she had just poped 16 tabs) then we noticed jon who did the same amount with her was flipping out too so we figured it was the pills but jon was getting crazy he kept going off on us every 15 minuets then forgetting what he was yelling about and being a brat a few times i had to pin him down to make him lay down and rest all he needed was food + sleep so we made him eat bread and i had to hold him down till he calmed down, it was crazy. we even had to call some other friends down from nuevo to help calm them down. the next day after a nights sleep they were fine. but it pissed me off cause u could have a lil respect for someones house but they were makin out all over my bed it was sick, my mom was pissed. then they invited there friends over and because there was so many i made them all stay outside well today we got complaints thru out manager haha i thought it was funny cause this is the first time in a long time i had people outside and they do it all the fucking time so kiss my ass. and hello dont live in the ghetto if u dont fucking like it. last night i smoked shrooms crazy shit man, today im good and calm but hungry so im goin to find some munchies ;)
xoxo lamb





'we'll take a ride to go get high,
and if we die we know not to regret'
*rip d.o.w*

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Date:2003-12-15 04:17
Subject:Pure Happiness With a Side of Guilt...
Security:Public
Mood: guilty
Music:no doubt 'just a girl'

ahh something so awesome happend for once, but one of the coolest chicks who's equally obsessed had to watch from the side lines NOT FAiR! i got tickets to the jimmy kimmel taping with no doubt, the whole time i was there waiting + freezing was worth it. but right as i was about to go in i saw miss dee the coolest chick! and knowing she couldnt go in was torture and made the show not as good as it coulda been. i wanna rock out with her + no doubt. i wish there was just one show no one else knew about, that would be awesome!. one day!
boo-yah.
xoxo lamb

'FUCK YOU iM A GiRL!'

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Date:2003-12-05 00:09
Subject:A FiRST FOR EVERYTHiNG.
Security:Public
Mood: gloomy
Music:the silence 'amalie'

Here I am left alone inside myself
A wishing-well paradox of emotion
The Seed that made me grow into this lonely boy
It spits and calls you depressions toy
And she knows me by name

Sometimes even Angels do bleed
(this is how it feels)
But do they pretend its ok?

Stay, stay awhile and watch me bleed memories
Trapped inside the house with me
The day I grew into this ugly boy
This place to call my home is dead to me
And she knows me by name

Sometimes even Angels do bleed
(this is how it feels)
But do they pretend its ok?
(this is how it feels to choke)

So Amelie I had to let you go this dead boy must hide all alone
Amelie you killed the shadows outside this dark wishing-well

Its not about, its not about the things you say it’s the emotion and the look on your face
All the things I used to know and used to feel

Sometimes even Angels do bleed
(this is how it feels)
But do they pretend its ok?
(this is how it feels to choke)

So Amelie I had to let you go this dead boy must hide all alone
Amelie you killed the shadows inside this dark cell
So I wish you well and I know it hurts Amelie
So I wish you well and I know it hurts Amelie
Your fiend the ghost
The dead boy

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Date:2003-12-05 00:09
Subject:A FiRST FOR EVERYTHiNG.
Security:Public
Mood: gloomy
Music:the silence 'amalie'

Here I am left alone inside myself
A wishing-well paradox of emotion
The Seed that made me grow into this lonely boy
It spits and calls you depressions toy
And she knows me by name

Sometimes even Angels do bleed
(this is how it feels)
But do they pretend its ok?

Stay, stay awhile and watch me bleed memories
Trapped inside the house with me
The day I grew into this ugly boy
This place to call my home is dead to me
And she knows me by name

Sometimes even Angels do bleed
(this is how it feels)
But do they pretend its ok?
(this is how it feels to choke)

So Amelie I had to let you go this dead boy must hide all alone
Amelie you killed the shadows outside this dark wishing-well

Its not about, its not about the things you say it’s the emotion and the look on your face
All the things I used to know and used to feel

Sometimes even Angels do bleed
(this is how it feels)
But do they pretend its ok?
(this is how it feels to choke)

So Amelie I had to let you go this dead boy must hide all alone
Amelie you killed the shadows inside this dark cell
So I wish you well and I know it hurts Amelie
So I wish you well and I know it hurts Amelie
Your fiend the ghost
The dead boy

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Date:2003-12-05 00:09
Subject:A FiRST FOR EVERYTHiNG.
Security:Public
Mood: gloomy
Music:the silence 'amalie'

Here I am left alone inside myself
A wishing-well paradox of emotion
The Seed that made me grow into this lonely boy
It spits and calls you depressions toy
And she knows me by name

Sometimes even Angels do bleed
(this is how it feels)
But do they pretend its ok?

Stay, stay awhile and watch me bleed memories
Trapped inside the house with me
The day I grew into this ugly boy
This place to call my home is dead to me
And she knows me by name

Sometimes even Angels do bleed
(this is how it feels)
But do they pretend its ok?
(this is how it feels to choke)

So Amelie I had to let you go this dead boy must hide all alone
Amelie you killed the shadows outside this dark wishing-well

Its not about, its not about the things you say it’s the emotion and the look on your face
All the things I used to know and used to feel

Sometimes even Angels do bleed
(this is how it feels)
But do they pretend its ok?
(this is how it feels to choke)

So Amelie I had to let you go this dead boy must hide all alone
Amelie you killed the shadows inside this dark cell
So I wish you well and I know it hurts Amelie
So I wish you well and I know it hurts Amelie
Your fiend the ghost
The dead boy

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Date:2003-12-04 23:56
Subject:HiGHLY RECOMENDED!
Security:Public
Mood: impressed
Music:'prestisimo vivace' by the silence.

if u have 10 mins and 10 dollors u must go to smartpunk.com and order the silence dvd. its hilarious, not to mention they seriously rock. and im on the cover :). yay! and im on the end of it kinda haha. so go order it!.
xoxo lamb




'find the words from last summer prestisimo vivace'

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Date:2003-11-20 12:46
Subject:woo hoo for the 'gay bracelet crew'
Security:Public
Mood: crushed
Music:bette midler 'wind beneathe my wings'

eep i havent been here for awile, ive been so out of touch with everything. for the longest time i thought me and jonathn were only friends when he was bored but things changed :). me, jon, alex & martin started our own lil 'gay bracelet crew' we were sitting here bonding like nothing else while they were playing with my beads then i noticed they had all made black bracelets then they made me one at one point martin commented that this was 'gay' so thats where it comes from. also they proved to me that im not some lame -o- that they hang out with when no one else will, for the past 2 weeks they have always been here and last night they even spent the night, granted we were all to stoned to even get up but they slept over. and now im extremly sad cause i might loose my lil buddy to the fuckin system. while he was over here his p.o serched his room cause he didnt go to school and now he might get locked up tommorow and i dont wanna loose him *tear*. last night i was having some wicked sex dreams about martin haha (shh) i feel guilty cause i do anything to prevent my friends from hookin up so im not stuck in some akward position and i wont do it to jon because i saw how mad he got with one lil sex comment. we were in the kitchen and martin asked me if i had any porn, i dont. but we got on the subject of the pam & tommy video which is by the way OVERATED! and martin asked if we could watch it together under a blanket with the duct tape (i have a fetish for duct tape and he knows it) and jon got pissed and was being a dick from then on out. all night last night we would wake up smoke a bowl and pass out it was so much fun! they finally left about 4 in the afternoon then came back at 4:45 and stayed till 8ish left for awile then alex & martin show up at 11:30pm talking about jons gettin some at the house and they didnt want to be there, dude the bitch he fucked is so nasty, she has been with each of them, well either they didnt have sex or jons a short cummer cause they both came up here and jon sat by me and his chik sat by martin and they were all over each other but whats sick is that jon had a tramp stamp (hickie) from her so something happend with them. thats sick. well im stoned so im goin to bed.

xox lamb
'we pray for peace with loaded guns."

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Date:2003-10-26 01:38
Subject:SiCK . OF . TRYiNG
Security:Public
Mood: crushed
Music:no doubt 'underneath it all'

i have said it once and ill say it again BOYS SUCK whether there love intrests or siblings they all suck. im sick of trying, im sick of it all. i try and try and try again to spend a lil time with my brother who i havent seen in 8 years, but no hes to busy for me even though hes doing nothing today. wowee he has his "son" with him. its not like his "son" cant come with us i invited him to the movies today "son" and all his excuse "oh i cant i have to get kiki's asthma medicine and im waiting for him to get home from church" ok... the showing of the movie isnt until 5. "oh i cant go today" "fine" "what?" "fine" "dont sound like that" "hmm" "hmm what?" "nothing bye" "what?" "BYE" and i hung up i feel like crying so bad cause come on he has no time for anyone but that damn "son" of his. i was so craving his attention i wanted to keep him on the phone so bad last night that i was talking about everything and anything trying to keep him on the phone. i got a whole half hour out of him. and it wasnt even worth all i was talking about. its so akward we used to be so close but hes changed and its all because of his "SON" pssssh w/e im done.

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Date:2003-10-24 07:22
Subject:quizes yay....
Security:Public
Mood: bored
Music:No Doubt 'bathwater'

I am 31% Emo

Hmm.. I should stop listening to Dashboard Confessional.... enough said... Now that I stopped looking at my shoes, I know how the real world looks.

Take the Emo Test at fuali.com



I am 36% Ska

I know the scene, I've heard the bands, and I am burned out. Well, these things happen. I will now go ahead and go through the same thing with Punk and Emo.

Take the Ska Test at fuali.com

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Date:2003-10-24 07:15
Subject:Disconect Me From Reality....
Security:Public
Mood: depressed
Music:No Doubt 'simple kind of life'

im so drained from everything i havent slept since monday. the reason being i was nervous from all my best buy interviews, im so sick of not being good enough to be hired. how bad is that when i cant even get a temporary job for less then 3 months? im pure shit. i cant do this anymore i drive myself insane. all i want to do is hide in a corner and cry but the emotions arent there i cant cry im so drained. i need a job more then anything and no one will hire me its not fair. if no one gives me a chance im gonna end up another statistic working at mcdonalds for the rest of my life. no offence to anyone in the fast food industry its just not something for me i want retail only. the only good thing in my life right now is my friends and my family i love you all! god let me cry.... i think thats what i need.

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Date:2003-10-18 09:03
Subject:its the inFREDable D... woo woo
Security:Public
Mood: confused
Music:LiMP BiZKiT 'GiMME THE MiC'

just a quickie to say everyone should buy the new limp bizkit cd 'results may vary' its awesome! and during this week u should go buy it at best buy, cause u get a free dvd with upcoming things including the greatest hits of no doubt (main reason of getting anything at all)
xoxo LAMB


PS. BUY 'RESULTS MAY VARY!'

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Date:2003-10-18 09:01
Subject:am i that replaceable?
Security:Public
Mood: sad
Music:LiMP BiZKiT 'RED LiGHT GREEN LiGHT'

yea this might seem like a whiny entry and i dont know why i feel this way, but i do. as few of you know my brother who i havent seen in 8 years recently got out of prison (acctually on my birthday) well i didnt hear anything from or about him till 3 days later when i also found out my dad took off from the hospital and got arrested (haha) but anyways so the next day me and jaz went to visit him in rubidoux and i walked up and i saw him it was so amazng i wanted to cry he was my brother my big brother who i used to idolize we stood there hugging for atleast 10 mins. it was great.

i played a lil prank on him that jaz dared me too by saying her baby was mine, haha he was pissed he made the comment after i fessed up "i was about to loose my shoe in your ass" good times!

we caught up a bit inside and had some good laughs. my brother is still amazing hes alot shorter then i rememberd he's changed alot too he's all muscular and has his tounge, nippel's and lip pierced (i never imagined my brother would be one to get anything pierced) hes more into the tatoos he's also got a shitload of them which of one were both pretty proud of our last name is on his chest it looks amazing. anyways he's got the green eyes i always wanted like really pretty green eyes grr for him getting the good eye gene's.

anyways after awile of him trying to avoid getting to personal (every once in awile he would walk into a different room, its okie cause if i was at home id be doing the same thing) but he decided he had to see his son so we all went to am pm till the bus came and got back out to riverside then jaz went home and we went to wait for the bus to his sons house.

we had an awesome convo about everything. finally the bus came and we got on it just to get off 10 mins later to walk up this hill forever, bleh halfway up it he asks me if i see his son and trys pointing him out to me... uhh no i couldnt see him for shit and he was in front of me the whole time he kept hiding though when we got up to him my brother left me behind *crys* they walked all far ahead in there own lil world. so i called jasmin cause i was quite lonely finally we got to his place i 're-met' his family and felt extremly uncomfterble cause ki ki's grandma kept insisting how we all look so much alike including kishawn (my bro's son) i dont see it but im not gonna question it cause it makes him happy.

well the whole reason to this entry is that i feel replaced i hate the feeling but the way i see it as i was younger then my brothers son when he left me, now this boy who never really knew my brother it getting all the attention i used to have. and it hurts. when i think about it i feel like crying, i havent talked to my bro in 3 days and i call for him but he's always with kishawn. what can a girl do to get attention? ask her own brother on a day out? he'd probably be to busy with kiki.

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