Casper's Journal

10:23PM - ?

When at first my eyes drift across your face
so as i trace my lips a smile fades
seeing such beauty takes me back again
towards times where i was alone
my heart skips a beats knowing that youre there
my pulse rising to the brink
heart just rising up and out of my chest
to witness your beauty for itself
My life hangs closely or so i wish it would
close to yours and almost one
i beg you please sweet dear kiss me now
for ill know then youll never leave

Current mood: flirty

Current music: this kickass opera

12:06AM - treatment

you probably dont care but if you want to know about my treatment center look at this website http://www.youthcare.com it makes it look so cozy but believe me it isnt
-Rachel AKA Casper

Current mood: horny

Current music: sex and the city

5:18PM - anonymous

i n f o r m a t i o n
01. name: Casper Rachel Steve Whitey whatever you want to call me
03. sex: a little of both ;)
04. b'day: june 30th
05. sign: Cancer
06. siblings: MY brother that im just starting to get along with
07. hair colour:fucking brown *grr* oh but i will dye it oh yes i will
08. eye colour: Hazel
09. shoe size: 10 1/2......i think
10. height: 5'7

r e l a t i o n s h i p s
01. who are your best friends? since i just got home my best friend would have to be Brock of Marie
02. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? no :(
03. did you send this to your crush? No
04. did your crush send this to you? No

f a s h i o n | s t u f f
01. where is your favorite place to shop? thrift shops
02. any tattoos or piercings?just some 12 gauge ears cuz my dad is an asshole :)
s p e c i f i c s
01. do you do drugs? Used to definately
02. what kind of shampoo do you use? garnier fructis
03. what are you most scared of? ummmm tell you the truth im afraid of drugs now
04. what are you listening to right now? self recordings
05. who is the last person that called you? Alex
06. where do you want to get married?I used to want to get married at the beach but its fucking cold there
07. how many buddies are online right now? 8 i dont know anyone yet
08. what would you change about yourself? I want to be skinnier and get rid of all my damned acne

f a v o u r i t e s
01. colour: burgany, red, black, sliver
02. food: strawberry kiwi ice cream
03. boys' names: Que
04. girls' names: Krysttel
05. subjects in school:English , Art or science
06. animals: yorkie
07. sports: Ultimate Frizzbe(sp)

h a v e | y o u | e v e r
01. given anyone a bath? Yes
02. smoked? Yes
03. bungee jumped? no but i want to
04. made yourself throw up? yep
05. skinny dipped? Yes
06: ever been in love? Yes
07. made yourself cry to get out of trouble? Yes
08. pictured your crush naked? Yes
09. actually seen your crush naked? Yes
10. cried when someone died? Yes
11. lied? Yes
12. fallen for your best friend? yes
13. been rejected? Yes
14. rejected someone? yes
15. used someone? yes
16. done something you regret? hell yeah

c u r r e n t
clothes: jnco shorts, combat boots strawberry shotcake shirt
music: morrison poe- glitter girl
make-up:black-lipstick eyeliner eyeshadow and glitter
annoyance: its fucking hot!!!!!!!
smell: CINNAMON
favourite artist: Anne geddes
favourite group: MSI
desktop picture: Moe Poe collage
book you're reading: Alice Hoffman The River King, kickass book
cd in player: the southern treadkill- pantera

l a s t | p e r s o n
you touched: Myself
hugged: Brother
you imed: Drew I think
you yelled at: Alex
you kissed: now that was a long time ago, I think it was Bobby *sniffle*

a r e | y o u
understanding: usually
open-minded: Yes
arrogant: No
insecure: a little
interesting: Ive been told
random: Yes
hungry: Yes
smart: Ive Been Told
moody: yup
hardworking: eh
organized: not so much
healthy: kinda
shy: depends
difficult: Yes
attractive: You tell me
bored easily: Yes
messy: Sometimes
responsible: Yes
obsessed: yea
angry: not now
sad: not now
happy:sometimes
hyper: often
trusting: yes
talkative: Yes
legal: ?

w h o | d o | y o u | w a n n a
kill: Frank
slap: myself
get really wasted with: cant do that anymore
get high with: definately cant do that anymore
look like: a pretty me
talk to offline: ANYONE RIGHT NOW IM FUCKING BORED
talk to online: jon

r a n d o m
in the morning i am: tired as all hell
all i/you need is: Music
love is: a best friend who you happen to fuck and be in love with

w h i c h | i s | b e t t e r
coke or pepsi: mountain dew
flowers or candy: none of the above id rather get something intersesting and original *hint hint*
tall or short: at least as tall as me

o p p o s i t e | s e x
what do you notice first: *shrug* havent been out long enough to know yet
last person you slow danced with:fuck if i know
worst question to ask: would your mom join?
who makes you laugh the most: usually jon but i ahvent seen his ass in a long time
who makes you smile: who doesnt
who gives you a funny feeling when you see them:it used to be jon
who has a crush on you: fuck if i know

d o | y o u | e v e r
sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone to IM you: Yes
save conversations: sometimes
wish you were a member of the opposite sex: sometimes
wish you were younger: i wanna be older
cry because someone said something to you: Yes

n u m b e r
of times i have had my heart broken: too many
of hearts i have broken: Who knows
of guys i've kissed: cant keep count
of girls i've kissed:cant keep count
of continents i have lived in: 1
of tight friends: ?
of cds i own: probably 100
amount of scars on my body: hell if i know
of things that i regret: alot

y o u r | t h o u g h t s
i know: im wierd
i want: a life
i have: fucked up
i wish: i were different
i hate: you
i fear: death
i love: you

f i n a l | q u e s t i o n s
01. do you like filling these out: sure
02. how many people are you sending this to: 0
03. who will send it back: 0
04. least likely to send it back: 0
05. gold or silver: Silver
06. what was the last film you saw at the movies: return of the king
07. favourite cartoon/anime: Family guy
08. what did you have for breakfast this morning: bagel
09. who would you love being locked in a room with: dunno
10. could you live without your computer: No fucking way.
11. would you colour your hair: Yes
12. could you ever get off the computer: Yes, but I need it
13. habla espanol: fuck no
14. how many people are on your buddy list: ?
15. drink alcohol: no more
16. like watching sunrises or sunsets: Yup
17. what hurts the most: you

8:19PM - Today was interesting

today was interesting, I woke up at like 7:30 and had to force myself back to sleep. Then i got ready to go to the mall with my brother and marie. So I get to her job at noon, and it appears that she isnt there but her car is in the parking lot so i ask and wow shes still there . I get a choclate Milk with my brother and sit to do nothing for oh about an hour. Then I ask to talk to her and she comes out to tell us that she now doesnt know when shell get off work. I get alittle mad but i dont show it. So me and Jason (my brother) go walking around. I saw a thrift shop so i immediatly went there and found a good shirt for only 1 dollar. Then we venture to target. We ate lunch there and I shopped for clothes, no luck of course. and I got this tight necklace of a metal rose and some foundation. We somehow at some point ended up by starbucks and I called my dad to pick up up, he saide 40 minutes so we went back to target and got slim jims and drinks. end story.

other than that i saw my grandparents and they could get over how *cute* i looked. It kinda made me sick to hear that but at the same time i felt all special and embarrased.
shut up i hear you laughing.
Anyway now my brother is over at my moms house and im stuck all alone :-(

Ill probably end up writing again tonight, i have no life
-Rachel AKA Casper

Current mood: dirty

Current music: MSI

2:50PM

img src="http://images.quizilla.com/G/ghettokitty/1047299736_entrancing.jpg" border="0" alt="entrancing">
You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Waaah! You're so LOVABLE! Everybody likes you,
because you're a great person to have around
and it's always happy about everything ^^.
congrats! and...can I hug you?? plz! ^///^


Yet another personality test ^-^ (nice anime pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Fight Club!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

TO SUM IT UP IM PERFECT>...........................................WHO WOULDVE THUNK
-Rachel AKA Casper

Current mood: giggly

Current music: none

1:49PM - hey

Well I got into Pompano High I just have to be on this probation or porole thingy for a while. And my dads being an asshole and monitoring what im wearing, and he wont let me dye my hair. yup home sweet home *sigh* I dont get to go to school today and I have to wait until monday. I guess i should be happy. my problem though is i have nothing to do. sorry i have nothing interesting to say. because nothing interesting is going on. I NEED NEW FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-( right now i have absolutely no one to talk to. because all my old friends did drugs, yay for me

GOD SAVE ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Rachel/ casper

Current mood: cranky

Current music: mindless self indulgence

2:17PM - boredom

You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.


What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla
GURU
(Submissive Extrovert Abstract Feeler )


Rachel Gillman
Like just 12% of the population you are a GURU (SEAF)--kind, knowing, giving. Like Buddha of old, you can be a persuasive speaker, and you use your creative talents to further the objectives of your heart instead of your mind. But be careful that your friends don't take advantage of your relaxed nature, that's what happened to Jesus.

Above all, you like going with the flow. And there is probably nothing in the world you haven't smoked. That's cool. Oh yeah, you like to talk a lot. That's cool, too. Whatever.

12:22PM - havent talked in a while

Everyone I have known is gone, or have forgotten about me. Treatment sucks, but it did help me. I now have to find new friends, go to a new school. Pretty much get a new life. Its so hard. I dont have anyone to talk to. Im alone, sitting at home, all day, with nothing to do. With all these restrictions. I came home so happy, but since Im trapped I have nothing let to do, and have become numb and bored. At least I had friends at youthcare. Please Save Me G-D, you are all I have to count on.
-Rachel AKA Casper

Current mood: numb

Current music: none