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Blurty for Thepaininmearse.
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| Sunday, October 3rd, 2004 |
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well look who's back!!!! ahhaha i'm sorry for the break. it's time to return to blogging. soon. |
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| Wednesday, August 18th, 2004 |
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why can't i take everything at face value? why can't i just stop looking right thru into their souls for once? why couldn't i look her straight into the eyes? .. cheap perfume, ciggs and alcohol. and i still smell of her. |
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| Sunday, August 15th, 2004 |
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rule number one for assessing a gurl's attractibilitty: does she sound feminine? don't. ask. just don't. ask. |
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| Saturday, August 14th, 2004 |
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| i've never ran so fucking fast in the past year. scratch that. i think i need to lie down. | ||
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thursday. at the lounge talking to my friend. friend: "so what kinda music are u guys playing? "(refering to TLT) me: "oh we're kinda bodering on punk rock" friend: "wha so old still play punk rock" me: "..." strike one. friday. just got back from the island and still in the army suit. optician: "here you go.. here's your new frames. u reservist ar?" me: "erm nope... do i look that old?" optician: "heh.." strike two. saturday. on the bus on the way back from work after 2.4 and the works. in the army suit again. some kid's mommie: "girl come come... quick get in don't block the way" momma looks at me. i smile. momma: "see la.. keep uncle waiting for you." uncle sia. strike three. my army uniform ain't no ordinary uniform... i bet it multiplies my age by a factor of three. |
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| Friday, August 13th, 2004 |
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| i'm getting mindfucked by a book. checkback later | ||
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| Thursday, August 12th, 2004 |
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things i've learnt in the past 4 days or so... 1. smoking clears up ur complexion. 2. mah jong is best played throughout the whole day non stop all the way for 24 hours. 3. it takes at least 2 satchets of instant coffee to make a powerful anti-sleep potion. 4. Sunrises over singapore are overrated. 5. Sunsets over singapore are overrated. 6. i really miss the feel of the wind wrapping around my body. 7. the feeling of not being contactable for 4 days in a row is splendid. 8. i could really get used to that life. 9. i'd smoke if it was hellofalot cheaper. 10. between stoning and reading a good book, the good book wins hands down. |
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| Monday, August 9th, 2004 |
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good evening everyone... Doubleyellowline 2004 15th Aug @ the Substation. My Squared Circle The Leaven Trait =) Gloria Moren Tea Estate Kate of Kale |
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why. why can't i do anything. i'm weak. powerless. useless. why did u let me meet so many people but not allow me to do anything. every single one of my problems seems so trivial when placed side by side with this and yet i can't help. . why. why me. i can't do anything. i'll take in all the demons but my soul isn't worth enough to fight death. i can't do anything and it fucking hurts. |
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| Sunday, August 8th, 2004 |
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sunday, 8th august. thus begins the experiment. i've nothing left to lose anyway. |
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| these lyrics shouldn't mean anything to me now. | ||
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| Saturday, August 7th, 2004 |
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hanged with jon, darlyn, 2 ruggers and feng the whole afternoon. haven't seen yifeng in a looong time man. she looks more like a nus student when she wears her jeans. nice bangs too. it's relaxing taking long walks alone. helps me clear my head. but i still dont' know what to do anymore. |
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let this be the last time i give myself up as a buffer. Don't give me all you poison Don't give me all your pills Don't give me all your hopeless hearts Don't make me ill |
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| but there are times when i'm just about to turn my back when the everything holds me back again. | ||
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| i've just received the best advice from botak that made my entire month. | ||
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trashing the mall is alot more fun with the homies. we almost wrecked every shop we went into and pissed off afew shoppers with our over-friendlyness. seriously.. singaporeans need to lighten up more. who says people can't have fun on the bus? it wasn't even at the expense of others. just ourselves. society needs some anti-depressent. like up their asses so it'll work real quick. watched Fahrenheit 9/11 with bo and zw. could be better.. especially after seeing bowling for columbine. won't really consider it a mindfuck... just a lil summary of everything we already know. what am i doing with myself? where do my priorities lie? me: if u were me what would you do? bo: you should ask yourself that question. and i'm back to square one. i'm running again. running away when everything gets too tough to handle. running at the slightest sign of failure. i'm sorry i have to push everyone away. no one would understand. even if you could it'll consume you too. and i can't live with that. i should go. |
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| Thursday, August 5th, 2004 |
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it wasn't my intention to bleed. i swear i didn't want to. but it's happend and i can't help but want more. i want to bleed it all out. i want to look up from the work and see my creation come alive. i want to feel. pain. i want to feel. i want to remember how it's like to feel the pain at the slightest touch, to have my whole mind and body consumed pain that i can do nothing but think about it, yet appear whole to the world. what the hell is going on with me. why can't i be normal like any other kid. why can't i just bleed my heart dry just let me die, slowly, painfully. let me savour every minute of it, every breath, every sensation. just. let. me. die. if only i had a pretty knife.. ahh yes.. the wonders of falling in love with a knife. |
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| Wednesday, August 4th, 2004 |
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tired. life's alot more peaceful without a phone. |
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| Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004 |
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was checking out this gurl on the bus at my place.. from Pjc. she was wearing her school skirt as if it was micromini. didn' get to see much thou cuz i sat right in front of her. but when i was getting off i turned around and our eyes met for like 3 seconds. she has the most amazing eyes i've ever looked into. nice. " you might be convinced that she's worth the wait... but are you worth her wait?" this is not good. by the looks of things i might not be able to play for the guys this friday. shit. not good. not good at all. |
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| Monday, August 2nd, 2004 |
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Ladies and gents... THE LEAVEN TRAIT Live Ngee Ann Poly, 6th Aug @ 4.30 pm we'll be playing... 1. Never understand 2. Saddest song by Ataris 3. Insomnia 4. Cureless 5. Somewhere on Fullerton by Allister 6. North Star and my brand new favourite original...... 7. Everlasting fall =))) check uus out!! |
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Blurty for Thepaininmearse.
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