2:14am:
A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road...
Girl: Slow down. Im scared.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, its too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BiG hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? Its bugging me.
(In the paper the next day):
A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. 2 people were on it, but only 1 survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug 1 last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.
*it does make you wonder how they knew what he was thinking. but wouldn't it be nice if everyone's significant other obviously cared just as much as this particular guy? i don't even care if the guy is real or imaginary, wouldn't it be nice?*
11:12am:
i don't think anyone understands why kat and i are really good friends. not that there's anything to understand per se- somethings i have learned to take for granted. it's possible that it's because she tends to take my uptight and anal personality in stride because someone has to be the laidback one. she says it's because i make her laugh, but that seems like so little to keep me around for anyway. sometimes i don't know, but most of the time things are pretty clear.
last night or early this morning i should say, we hung out kind of weirdly rambling around our sections of route 1. we both decided that we would sit somewhere, smoke and talk. she's starting to have that target summer that i had 2 yrs ago. and being as she was completely there for me at that time, i see no reason why i shouldn't be there for her now. so we went to 711 and picked up some black and milds. we were at 711 like three times because we kept forgetting various things like money and the fact that 711 doesn't have a bathroom. then we roamed across the street to wendys and realized that only the drivethru was open so roamed back by krispy kreme and past this 24hr spanish bar where people outside were snorting something. that was kinda funny and slightly sad. then we drove to wendy's and got free french fries by flirting with the guy at the window and zoomed back to kat's house so i could pee. after getting unstuck in the bathroom (the door doesn't open from the inside), we went outside and walked around her neighborhood trying to light these cigars with matches that wouldn't stay lit. we're like sitting on the street corner trying to get the matches to light, then trying to keep the matches lit long enough to get the cigars going. so first we tried to light a match and do everything the oldfashioned way. then kat had the brilliant idea of lighting a match with a match, which didn't work. then she tried to make a fire on the sidewalk so that we could light them from there. and finally we had to make a group effort with her lighting the matches and me pulling in on the cigar to keep it lit. i went through two of those suckers and couldn't get to sleep until like 3 am. i love how nicotine makes me hyper, although yesterday it only made my brain work better than normal that late at night and the rest of me was mellow and ready to talk about the impossibilities of stars falling... or shit like that.
there's so much stuff that people don't think about when it comes to retail. i mean people come in buy their clothes and what have you leave, and spend the entire time thinking of the people who actually work in the stores as nothing but personal servants, available to their every whim. no one thinks about the workers feelings. i know even i dont when i walk into a store. i suddenly become the whiny brat who wants everything and anything i want at once. i hope it's American culture and not something in the flourescent lights, because you can change culture, but you can't change the harsh effect of lightbulbs. i've never felt comfortable in this store because it feels like everyone's completely ready to turn around and stab each other in the back as long as it's deemed profitable by the stabber. i don't think that anyone but the most ignorant feel comfortable in their position, because you walk into your store and know that they're going to get rid of you just for the small sin of having incompatible personalities. most guests who come to return things act surprised that they still see me and so often, and i've only been there for a month and a half. or like how omar (very easily manipulated) is suddenly a team lead in electronics and slowly replacing those who are there with how much attention he gets from upper management. he's extremely nice, but just to prove a point, dumb and readily available to follow orders.
anyway, i thought it was just me and my insecurities playing out fears in my mind, but it turns out it's true. kat and i were talking about this last night and she has the proof that my brain already knew through gossip and what have you. people talk to her, but i always already seem to know in my head about stuff like this.
to end this being about kat again. my mother says i do too much and she does too little in our friendship, but i just wanted to point out that being friends with me is usually a fulltime job. like the shit the people do for me as friends would seem inconsequential i guess to most people, and i have no way to repay them but do things for them that are easily seen as me being walked over. i mean sometimes people walkover me and i let them, but this is definitely not the case.