: vignettes
i want to be swallowed up holy by some gothic cathedral francais
chewed up into tiny little pieces but never spit back out
the sunday supper you read about in fairy tales
i've had the bottoming out feeling of needing to puke for about 24 hours now, either coinciding with my discovery that i'm not the next Mary picked to start a new religion this month, or the roast beef sandwich i had for lunch. it's like some ungodly reaction to perscription medication, in my stomach, undigested. it's not good. sometimes it bubbles like soup on a stove.
i finally got to ride the sky highway, from 495 to 95 south and it was like a dream until i hit traffic. i've never seen traffic on this new stretch of roadway, but somehow i get to personally experience it.
watched most of the basketball diaries today with kat after work. i hadn't seen it since like 9th grade. heh, it seemed so much stupider now, maybe because i've read the book and realized the true purpose of the author. the movie holds no secrets for me.
i haven't slept in a while. driving to mom's house to drop off ian's shit was a new experience. like tunnel vision but it reallys just being gentle waves of light passing the windows, no form, no sound, no lines, nothing. cars appearing out of nowhere but seeming like unavoidable collisions. stopped but still moving in front of my eyes. and feeling like i was just going to gently drift off the planet into the sky and the car would keep moving.
i'm glad i wasn't this lethargic yesterday while i was deciding to ruin my friendship with sarah and have a mental breakdown. cutting would have been inevitable- as it is i just cried and cried and cried, but only after i had to ask permission, which i think must say something about me. that being said, i want everyone to know that this summer wasn't supposed to be slip back into robyndisease summer. really, i had no such plans.
i talked to charlie last night and charles all day today off and on. i swear that boy is schizo b/c sometimes he's all about social ability and then sometimes he's just whiny brat. we're checking him for steriods. as for charlie, i don't know.
john, i'm only dancing. it turns me on, i'm only dancing.
i want to be swallowed up holy by some gothic cathedral francais
chewed up into tiny little pieces but never spit back out
the sunday supper you read about in fairy tales
i've had the bottoming out feeling of needing to puke for about 24 hours now, either coinciding with my discovery that i'm not the next Mary picked to start a new religion this month, or the roast beef sandwich i had for lunch. it's like some ungodly reaction to perscription medication, in my stomach, undigested. it's not good. sometimes it bubbles like soup on a stove.
i finally got to ride the sky highway, from 495 to 95 south and it was like a dream until i hit traffic. i've never seen traffic on this new stretch of roadway, but somehow i get to personally experience it.
watched most of the basketball diaries today with kat after work. i hadn't seen it since like 9th grade. heh, it seemed so much stupider now, maybe because i've read the book and realized the true purpose of the author. the movie holds no secrets for me.
i haven't slept in a while. driving to mom's house to drop off ian's shit was a new experience. like tunnel vision but it reallys just being gentle waves of light passing the windows, no form, no sound, no lines, nothing. cars appearing out of nowhere but seeming like unavoidable collisions. stopped but still moving in front of my eyes. and feeling like i was just going to gently drift off the planet into the sky and the car would keep moving.
i'm glad i wasn't this lethargic yesterday while i was deciding to ruin my friendship with sarah and have a mental breakdown. cutting would have been inevitable- as it is i just cried and cried and cried, but only after i had to ask permission, which i think must say something about me. that being said, i want everyone to know that this summer wasn't supposed to be slip back into robyndisease summer. really, i had no such plans.
i talked to charlie last night and charles all day today off and on. i swear that boy is schizo b/c sometimes he's all about social ability and then sometimes he's just whiny brat. we're checking him for steriods. as for charlie, i don't know.
john, i'm only dancing. it turns me on, i'm only dancing.