:
mmm...so the older i get (by days, not years, this being the formative years of my life...well maybe months) the more i realize
something. i totally just lost my train of thoughts. it has jumped OFF the track roamed into the woods and was eaten by a bear. drats.
so i moved this weekend. the house is killer disgusting and completely fixable. i want to help fix the "fixer upper" because i feel as though it will be something meaningful that i have done, because i don't do many meaningful things. like today i put together my futon after rescuing it from mom's house and i felt like i had conquered the world. people claim it's the little things, but it really is the little things-that keep me going anyway. maybe because i can jump from thing to thing, ya know because they're little- there are lots of them. like from driving 80mph while singing music offkey at the top of my lungs to the futon assembly to cooking dinner to eatting frozen grapes. yes they're quite excellent.
but i'm not trying to pretend like i don't have lows. cuz there are fucking depressive pits everywhere there isn't a little thing. the big things fuck you over, like the fact that i'm working 50+ hours a week for the man and he doesn't see fit to pay me yet. this citrus power person wrote about how horrible money was recently (i skimmed, so sue me if i got it wrong) and ugh, but oh i soooo need it: to pay credit card bills, rent, car repair, keep the monkey off my back, buy shit for college, build up my savings...blah blah blah. OR how this was supposed to be my summer of fun and freedom, and instead it's my summer of red and khaki, entrapment, and controlling parental units (just the other half). i haven't done anything social really, but i say that in jest. it's just not like spring vacation when i did like 40 thousand things a day. plus working the morning shift really fucking kills me; i wasn't meant to be a morning person. i go to bed early just so i can get up early. none of this 4 am shit for me. like it's gotten so bad that i use sleeping pills for their intended purpose on a regular basis because i am a closet insomniac.
the highlight of my summer thus far has GOT TO BE the HFStival, which FUCKING ROCKED!!!! I got my pictures back today and Robert Smith is still hot as a blurry far away blob. :) and the Offspring turned out as black pictures, but I was there and I know that he cheated me and Jess out of the water hose experience but not getting close enough to the edge of the stage. and i saw the yeah yeah yeahs and that sharon o. had the crowd like riotting until she mentioned her b/f at the beginning of the Maps song. poor lonely horny teenage boys now left to masturbate to her pink makeup and fishnet stockings, because she won't be there in person. ummmm and me starting smoking again. oh well. it's a good thing i don't know about the whole packing thing because that's the only thing that keeps me from buying them, lol. mmmm...but anyway robert smith is a dream even close to 50 years old and i almost came out of my body while they were playing their new song, appropriately titled the end of the world. they didn't play any of the my humongously obsessed with songs, but that's ok because they played everything else. actually they just played and that was enough for me. :-)
lemme break it down for ya.... it was better than sex.
i got my eye on the electronics guy. :-) pray for me, k? and i get to see shrek 2 tomorrow!!!!
everyone keeps reminding me of how i was going to marry him after that first movie, and how he got married to cameron diaz as the poorest excuse for an ogre ever. hell i'm fatter and uglier... i'm just missing the green :-(
something. i totally just lost my train of thoughts. it has jumped OFF the track roamed into the woods and was eaten by a bear. drats.
so i moved this weekend. the house is killer disgusting and completely fixable. i want to help fix the "fixer upper" because i feel as though it will be something meaningful that i have done, because i don't do many meaningful things. like today i put together my futon after rescuing it from mom's house and i felt like i had conquered the world. people claim it's the little things, but it really is the little things-that keep me going anyway. maybe because i can jump from thing to thing, ya know because they're little- there are lots of them. like from driving 80mph while singing music offkey at the top of my lungs to the futon assembly to cooking dinner to eatting frozen grapes. yes they're quite excellent.
but i'm not trying to pretend like i don't have lows. cuz there are fucking depressive pits everywhere there isn't a little thing. the big things fuck you over, like the fact that i'm working 50+ hours a week for the man and he doesn't see fit to pay me yet. this citrus power person wrote about how horrible money was recently (i skimmed, so sue me if i got it wrong) and ugh, but oh i soooo need it: to pay credit card bills, rent, car repair, keep the monkey off my back, buy shit for college, build up my savings...blah blah blah. OR how this was supposed to be my summer of fun and freedom, and instead it's my summer of red and khaki, entrapment, and controlling parental units (just the other half). i haven't done anything social really, but i say that in jest. it's just not like spring vacation when i did like 40 thousand things a day. plus working the morning shift really fucking kills me; i wasn't meant to be a morning person. i go to bed early just so i can get up early. none of this 4 am shit for me. like it's gotten so bad that i use sleeping pills for their intended purpose on a regular basis because i am a closet insomniac.
the highlight of my summer thus far has GOT TO BE the HFStival, which FUCKING ROCKED!!!! I got my pictures back today and Robert Smith is still hot as a blurry far away blob. :) and the Offspring turned out as black pictures, but I was there and I know that he cheated me and Jess out of the water hose experience but not getting close enough to the edge of the stage. and i saw the yeah yeah yeahs and that sharon o. had the crowd like riotting until she mentioned her b/f at the beginning of the Maps song. poor lonely horny teenage boys now left to masturbate to her pink makeup and fishnet stockings, because she won't be there in person. ummmm and me starting smoking again. oh well. it's a good thing i don't know about the whole packing thing because that's the only thing that keeps me from buying them, lol. mmmm...but anyway robert smith is a dream even close to 50 years old and i almost came out of my body while they were playing their new song, appropriately titled the end of the world. they didn't play any of the my humongously obsessed with songs, but that's ok because they played everything else. actually they just played and that was enough for me. :-)
lemme break it down for ya.... it was better than sex.
i got my eye on the electronics guy. :-) pray for me, k? and i get to see shrek 2 tomorrow!!!!
everyone keeps reminding me of how i was going to marry him after that first movie, and how he got married to cameron diaz as the poorest excuse for an ogre ever. hell i'm fatter and uglier... i'm just missing the green :-(