10:14am: email from the male parental unit-
Raven:
Are you going to be in the Dorm tomorrow evening, 9ish?
I wanted to call and talk, along with Ian. We'll be leaving boy scouts about then, so we could talk while driving home.
I need a favor from you if you and Ian talk. I'd like you to re-assure him that, if and when he were to go to counseling, that the counselor will not tell his mother or I what is said in the sessions.
He stole someone's gameboy while we were skiing last week. He got caught because he said that it was his sister's and the scoutmaster wanted to check with me about whose it might have been. I searched his room and he didn't speak up until I had the gameboy in my hand.
I yelled and screamed and carried on that night, but I also talked with him when I was calmer and asked him about going back to the counselor we used last year, about the ADHD testing, to see what we could do. His biggest worry seemed to be that there would be no secrets.
I'm getting real worried, nothing seems to affect him for more than a couple of minutes.
So, anyway, I had called last week during the evening, but the answering machine didn't even want to talk to me.
I also needed to check to see when you were coming home for spring break - I need to get the other bedroom turned into a bedroom. You can email me or whatever.
Sorry for the abruptness - I hope the courses (and life) are going well.
Love
Dad
5:20pm: so here i'll gloat about my weekend-
because i felt like i couldn't talk about it in real life, especially after Jess walked in and made her grand pronouncement that she met someone, they're dating, and it's practically like love (all within the span of 30 hours).
what i had to say paled in comparison.
and it seemed like a big deal to me at the time. i guess being drunk matters. or makes things matter. or makes things more important then they really are. or i just do that anyway. so i felt as though what seems like my overexaggeration shouldn't really be made public when there were more, other important things to celebrate.
someone laughed at me for saying that.
this weekend was fun. actually, i thought it was great until sunday night. saturday, i went to ASP with Beth and Michelle for late night. it wasn't a supremely great night. lots of things went wrong. Michelle was dancing and her phone danced out of her pocket and onto the floor. we managed to find the phone, but not the battery. hopefully she's getting a new one today. as if that wasn't enough, someone took her jacket, but left mine and beths. and then ASP itself seems like it's going down hill. they kept playing the same songs (although there were some oldies in there), and when they weren't playing those, the cds were skipping or somehow "sweet home alabama" was the song of the evening. and the floors was gross as usual (but seemed more so) and they had to turn on fans because there were so many people.
i saw "my guy" there, but didn't approach because he was definitely stoned off his ass. although he passed by me several times. the mystery continues.
we left and by that time, it had started raining and it felt almost like rebirth.
i called it quits with that guy i just met online. i couldn't handle the presumed supremism and the lack of emotional communication. can you talk to a robot? yeah, me neither.
i went to bed at around four and woke up at like 12 and cooked pancakes with sarah (the nonroommate) up in the penthouse. they actually turned out really good and were quite excellent with the maple syrup. I GOT TO FLIP THEM. hehehehe. the highlight of my day. after that, i tried to clean my shoes, and sarah and i ended up walking down past dedmon to the river. we spent a couple of hours exploring that whole area, trying to find this mysterious path that we remembered reading about in the papers back in september. i can't wait until it gets warm and i can get up the nerve to bike to places. we ended up creek hopping and then randomly finding a c.d. player behind the baseball field with brand new batteries and a flogging molly cd. sarah made me turn it in ;-). it's kind of creepy back in the woods, i'll tell you what.
after we came back, i got ready to go to va tech to see erin and ended up there around 6:30. we went to dinner at one of those greco-american cafes and had great food. spanokopita and gyros and curly fries. hahaha
we made it back to the room, but slowly because it was freezing there and we ran from building to building because i was definitely undressed for the weather in clogs and a sweatshirt. we watched a bit of shrek in one building and looked out a 7th floor window and talked about suicide in another.
erin's friend had invited her to drink and bring along friends later that evening, but he got plastered before he could call us, so we ended up inviting ourselves over and finishing off the alcohol. i finally got drunk. not to be proud of it, but to say that it takes a lot to do that and now i pretty much know my ultimate tolerance.
erin knows all these guys and they were flitting back and forth between these two rooms. and it was CRAZY. hehehehe. the only thing that sucks about Tech is that a girl's bathroom in a guys hall is pretty rare. pain in the ass when you need to pee. erin and i made several trips to the laundry room, which was an experience in itself because the lights were burnt out so we had to hold the door open to see. i usually ended up collapsing on the floor because it seemed like the most fun at the time.
the first room we were in was cool, but the people were kind of closed of like i felt extremely uncomfortable talking to them, and only mildly uncomfortable after drinking. so it was nice when i switched rooms to go find erin. the people in the second room just gave off better vibes i guess. i don't remember why because it was pretty much blurry for like the first hour i was in there. i spent most of it sitting on a chair like just watching people talk. and when i talk people laughed a lot, but oh well. well this one guy decided that we would watch a movie and that it would be the boondock saints, which i was completely down with because it's a great movie. so between the two of us we managed to convince the room. and even funnier was after that, they had to switch parts around between the four computers to get the movie to work correctly with the greatest efficiency or whatever. that like took half an hour. i thought that was crazily amusing because they're all CS majors but like don't have one complete normal computer between them. and the guy who was hosting the movie had to have special cables because he completely used linux or some other program and not windows at all.
he was the one who interested me the most, and if it's one thing i regret, it's the fact i drank too much to remember why. he was kinda tipsy too. maybe he was the one i talked to most or whatever, but i remember that he was hilarious and he had the greatest movies on his computer. anyway, so we put in the boondock saints and he immediatly starts quotings lines and i find this vaguely annoying so i like lightly tap him and tell him to stop. and he's like, " oh sorry. i'll stop." and then he like immediately starts it again, but it takes me longer to realize it and i hit him again. and he apologizes again, but he's amused or something and so it continues for like the first half of the movie. and i'm sitting next to him and it ends up with his arm on my leg and i didn't mind at all. which is crazy because i definitely have a bubble. mmmm...next i ended up sitting on the floor cuz the trashcan suddenly hurt my ass and i was having trouble concentrating on the movie anyway and his hand drifted down with me to rest on my knee. during the last bit of the movie, i don't think anyone was paying attention: this guy seemed like he was hitting on erin, two of the guys were talking amongst themselves and me and this guy were like playing around. it seems stupid now, but arguing over a cable cord for like 15 mins because he wouldn't let me hold onto it by myself took a lot of concentration, time and effort, and we were both laughing, but somehow ended up holding hands until the movie ended. then the lights went back on and we were talking, but i couldn't look him in the face but i got enough to know he was smiling at me the entire time. i don't know why i didn't go outside with him to smoke, but i didn't and i think that confused him. confused me too. while he was out, i stole his chair, and when he came back he like draped himself over the chair from behind with his legs on mine, but then stole the chair back when i got up to close the window and then seemed a little down when i declined to sit on his lap. i guess the whole innocent flirting thing ended there because i don't remember anything else. and he decided to leave and go to sleep when the computer decided to not play moulin rouge anymore. and he wouldn't stay at all even though i tried to make him and we sat there and made puppy faces at each other.
erin and i left soon after that because it was like five in the morning. and the next morning everyone went out for pancakes except him and i don't know whether i'm upset or relieved.
i wasn't sure if i would still be attracted to him when i was sober. or if he would to me. or if he even was at all. or if i was making it up even though erin said i wasn't. but she's making me go back there after our respective spring breaks, so i guess we'll see. :-/
somehow it just seems juvenile and unimportant in the sober light of day.
but it was fun nonetheless.