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i got an 88.6 on my first anatomy exam and even though everyone will say that it's great, i still feel like an incredible failure; like i could've done better. it's going to be a repeat of biology last year or that's what it feels like. i'm going to get discouraged before i've even begun and quit trying and feel miserable which will then perpetuate the educational cycle where ultimately nothing gets done that drags me deeper and deeper into depression.
i just received an 80 on my statistics exam and feel worse just knokwing that i barely tried. last semester is going to work against me; i didn't have to work at all to get As. i feel like i'm slipping a little and going under (Even though the phrase has been overused lately thanks to evanescense).
i know what i should do, but have lost the motivation to do it. heh, i'm pretty much destroyed in anatomy because i've procrastinated for so long. lab practical in three weeks. 206 bones, 23 tissue types, and 70 or so muscle to memorize.
the other parts of my life have been really quiet. mom hasn't apologized, and i said goodbye to charlie, while alex has totally reversed on his position. i know that at least when i go home for spring break, i can return all his bullshit to him: mental, physical, and emotional. i don't keep fake artifacts even though he gives them so easily. maybe he can melt it all down and make a statue of himself because that's who he worships. the only thing that hurts me so completely is the lack of trust- it's imploded and left me in crumbles, but somehow doesn't really seem that devastating like i saw it coming all along. but people wonder why i have issues with trust.
while you were gone...
*erin visited a couple of weekend agos. we got drunk, chilled with jess, and had a Waffle house adventure in Christiansburg with onion peels
*the day after that sarah (the roomie) and i got our cartilage pierced at the mall. i got second holes too all for the low price of 20 dollars at the piercing pagoda. this is compared to like 40 dollars for each at Gothic (although i recommend them for their tattooeing prowess. my lobes are completely filled up, it's crazy
*scared the shit out of jon, but it's whatever
*saw barbershop 2
(my brain then died)
i got an 88.6 on my first anatomy exam and even though everyone will say that it's great, i still feel like an incredible failure; like i could've done better. it's going to be a repeat of biology last year or that's what it feels like. i'm going to get discouraged before i've even begun and quit trying and feel miserable which will then perpetuate the educational cycle where ultimately nothing gets done that drags me deeper and deeper into depression.
i just received an 80 on my statistics exam and feel worse just knokwing that i barely tried. last semester is going to work against me; i didn't have to work at all to get As. i feel like i'm slipping a little and going under (Even though the phrase has been overused lately thanks to evanescense).
i know what i should do, but have lost the motivation to do it. heh, i'm pretty much destroyed in anatomy because i've procrastinated for so long. lab practical in three weeks. 206 bones, 23 tissue types, and 70 or so muscle to memorize.
the other parts of my life have been really quiet. mom hasn't apologized, and i said goodbye to charlie, while alex has totally reversed on his position. i know that at least when i go home for spring break, i can return all his bullshit to him: mental, physical, and emotional. i don't keep fake artifacts even though he gives them so easily. maybe he can melt it all down and make a statue of himself because that's who he worships. the only thing that hurts me so completely is the lack of trust- it's imploded and left me in crumbles, but somehow doesn't really seem that devastating like i saw it coming all along. but people wonder why i have issues with trust.
while you were gone...
*erin visited a couple of weekend agos. we got drunk, chilled with jess, and had a Waffle house adventure in Christiansburg with onion peels
*the day after that sarah (the roomie) and i got our cartilage pierced at the mall. i got second holes too all for the low price of 20 dollars at the piercing pagoda. this is compared to like 40 dollars for each at Gothic (although i recommend them for their tattooeing prowess. my lobes are completely filled up, it's crazy
*scared the shit out of jon, but it's whatever
*saw barbershop 2
(my brain then died)