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Friday, May 16th, 2003
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9:45a - coldplay
"The Scientist"
Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start
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9:51a
i want to cry
i have no clue
whats going on
and what has stoped
i cant cry
i cant feel
i wrote in my journal on wed night excatly i wanted to happen on thursday
and it happened
we kissed in the feilds and under the trees
i am so sick
pardon me.
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10:19a
i think the "group" of people are very intresting
and by group i mean the people that effect me the most:
max, ashley, tit, ariel, sara, tamara, helen
i have been reading strangers journals and their all quite boring
maybe because i dont know them
but we
we are writers
and the journals are intresting
because the way the people think
is intresting
im so fucking lame.
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10:31a
i am going to write like 4038094 entries today
i feel like shit
and i am going to take a bath
i dont know why
i am going to listen to modest mouse
and it will be just like when i was acalanes....
but it wont and i cant speak.
i have bruised knees from yesterday
hhaahah
i wrote a song once
and a line of it was
im on bruised knees
please.....
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10:37a
i am going to be honest because no one is anymore
and everything is boring
because everyone fakes everything
just be fucking honest
jesus
max the reason why i am very uncertin is because yesterday
i felt like you didnt care
at all
if you were there or if you were somewhere else
and i am sick of the rollercoster i am on with you
i want to know what life is
i want to feel
i want to run away
and never come back
what is the meaning of life
and is this hell?
life
you are put on a planet
to interact with other people
when you know nothing of yourself
i suppose that you are to discover "you"
in this period as well
when everything perfect ends with have a nice life
what if we died everynight while we slept
or one day
around 2:13 only a certin amount of people asended into heven
and some stayed on earth
what if its all true
all the stories
youve been told
or maybe every single word ever spoken
is a lie
i dont think i love you
at all
i dont know what love is
how could i love something
i dont love any of you
i dont hate any one
but myself
my brain keeps moving
torturing me
and i know you did this to me
you fucking basterd
you did this to my mind and i will never be normal again
i am so sorry
i love you
so much
all i have is you
dont leave me
dont cry
dont talk
dont leave
dont move
just lie here on the tall grass with me
this hurts me
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