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Sunday, August 3rd, 2003
11:50 pm
so im tired and retarted and im putting together a teeshirt of robert smith, sfs, kadsjfkalsfm and a million other things then im going to iron it on a tee shirt ye ha

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Saturday, July 26th, 2003
10:27 pm
i heard the neighbors phone ringing then i heard "hello"
intresting... so i am going to take college prep courses at venture and fashion classes at dvc and HOPEFULLY i wont hate venture since i am not satisfiied with ANYTHING ................
i worked on my car today with my fffafter and it was really really extreamly nice
im trying to fine cure teeshirts but i think its impossiable

so i heard rel came by
i think thats awsome, but you should have came in my room
COME BY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love random visits from people
they rock...later skaters

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9:37 am
okay so i have 4 days off and two are already spent
thursday i went to telegraph with my mom i sold hella clothes at bufflo
and got these cloth red slip-ons that are made by even picone ahhhh famous designer from spain!!!
and a white and red polka dot A-line skirt
and two shirts from tomcat (YEA TIT!!!!)
then i took my mom out to blondies and then we went to the mall and i tried to take back this ancor purse at torrid and the chick was like "this has been used" and my responce was "uhhh no it hasent...." knowingly i had worn it for the past 20 days....LOL anyway
i got this purse at mervens with a HUGE buckle on it ITS SO HXC
hahaha so me and ash are getting baptised together with has its irony
and then were having a HUGE after party and max is coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
soooooo then on friday i went dt wc to a jazz concert with my mom and max
and then we went to rasputins
and on sat we went to the movies and max saw a movie with my step dad witch i find funny....i gtg later

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Saturday, July 12th, 2003
11:26 pm
sorry everyone for never being online its just that, mm
and for what reason?
to have a grand in the bank by the end of the summer
it can happen
but i need to learn to tell the 17 year old boys NO VODKA FOR YOU!!!!
i have to put my foot down instead of pretnding i think their fake id's from "canda" are real.....ahahhahha
any whoo no my job is fun i just press buttons and walk around pretending to help peple when really im just a pain in the ass to my managers okay lets take a vote

should jasmine,

A- go to AHS next year and get really smart
B- go to venture and get really rich, and not go to college
or C- test out of high school and go to DVC???????????????????????????????????
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm intresting
i work with this girl
and she reminds me SO much of sara rosenburg

max i love you

you all better get your asses up and visit me
the only person that has was aaron which i find odd
a really old typewriter
a pair of dogpile pants
and uhhh all of the jack keraouc books....anyway

modest mouse and on the road end up in the same place for me
kind of like the sky and maxs eyes
i associate weird things togeher
like rob from sfs and charile from perks
just because their both skinny with shagy hair
and HOT

i think i should think
im confused....

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Wednesday, June 25th, 2003
9:58 pm
you leave me speachless

i used to think you were not complacted at all

i think its me

i am complacting too much

your right, maybe we shouldnt talk for a long time......

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Thursday, June 19th, 2003
8:57 pm
work is awsome/frustrating
i am on regerster one
my schedule for this week:
its really fun the kids who work there are awosme and we have fun "closing" at night doin waky things in the isles
i failed my permit test (SURPRISE)
so i have to wait till thursday to take it again and by that time ill have forgot everything i learned anyway....

I FELL so grown up

driving, working

how awsome is my first check going to be??????????????
367 DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

for 52 hours somethin like that
im probally not gunna be online for uh...FOREVER
because for once in my life
im busy...and its so odd....

honey bunches of oats; i love you.

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Saturday, June 14th, 2003
9:54 pm
oaky soooooooooooooooooooo
today was so awsome/amazing/one of the best ever
me and ash got on a bus
rode it to bart
(my first time on bart without rents!!!)
then from downtown l-town we
took a cab (with a drunk driver) achem
to maxs house
hung out there
then took the same cab to bart
and then to downtown w.c.
then hung out there
went home
but for the simple reason
it rocked.

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Friday, June 13th, 2003
2:28 pm
i got the job at longs!!!!!!
i get 7.75 an hour
and I GOT TO SEE MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we went to this park/concert thing in concord
and we went to the bookstore and looked at "vintage playboy"
lol anyway....we snuck into the janitors closet and bathrooms
and it was a blast!

okay my week:
tongiht- nicks grad party, ash spends the night
sat- take science final in the morning, me and ash get lost on a bus
sun- church, art thing in SF with parents
mon-driverstraing untill 330, FIST DAY AT WORK 6-10 pm
tue-same as mon
wed-same as tue
thursday- drivers training, concert park thing with max again (hopefully)
friday- LAST DAY OF SCHOOL ANDDDDDD "finding nemo" with youth group...........

current mood: thankful

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Wednesday, June 11th, 2003
2:01 pm
okay so this is intresting..
i am in a private investager class...and i am not joking
i asked if i could go on thier internet and they said..uhh yea okay...
so this chick is teaching how to be a private investager and im listening and its very intresting
you take this class for 10 weeks, get ceritfied and can get a job
i have a INTERVIEW on thursday morning for longs..........EVERYONE CROSS YOUR FINGERS, PRAY TO GOD, OR uhh yea WISH ME LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i need this job
really bad

max, sorry i was in a horriable mood
but ive been feeling so bad lately
about myself...

ash what i ment was
when i met people,
or get to know them better,
i never see them for themselves
i see them how I want them to be
how I can get inspired by them
and i neglect the fact they make mistakes
they are human
and i dont know i guess i reflect whats in me
for me to see that in them
so that i see whats in me better
if that makes sence
i dont know
i just am enjoying being a lone right now
not on the phone, not hanging out,
just A L O N E
i am sorry but its me its how im feeling
i still want to get lost on saturday
take the 206 and never come back

oh mirror in the sky what is love

music can go away except for the following:

the cure

i need a new journal
i was in this store...the Z gallery
and i found ariels old french diary
and i remembered reading it while sitting on her bed
and it being in her back pack
and writing in it when i spent the night
and then i found the small silver hearts
she gave to the people she loved the most....
me sara tamara
but i left mine at her house
and i really want it
--if you still have it will you send it?
--do you even read this?
i left it by accident
i hope it didnt make you feel like i didnt want it
i remember when i was little i gave people SO much
anything they wanted, if i had it, i gave it to them
and if they left it in my room, after i had given it to them
i would cry
thinking that they didnt care
but it ment a lot to me because i thought it would make them happy
and i wanted them to be happy
but they left it and didnt see that

on thursday i find out if i have adhd
even though i know i do....
do i get meds for that?
i am taking a sleeping pill tonight
mom took one
and got out of bed at 12 today and shes STILL drosey and MOODY

for the first time
i got lepard shoe laces
a black opal ring thats HUGE
a red cuff watch capris that rock.its cold in here...
so yea it was awsome
but i felt like crap last ngiht for buying so much stuff for myself
selfishness leads to unhappiness-mmmmm max

truth. im out.

current mood: groggy
current music: a private investager teachers voice

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Sunday, June 8th, 2003
5:41 pm
helens writings are genious
tamara played gilman!!!!
ariel has changed
ashley is sweet but not what i thought she was
i havent talked to tit for a long time
i still want to go see sara at her house and talk to her all night
max is my everything.

max and i are going to eat pop tarts
he will have maple i will have starwberry
his will be hot mine will be cold
and we will eat them on china
sitting on my roof
watching the sun rise
with tons of blankets
because life is so short.

i wish i knew what i was doing this summer
i need a job
just for an outlet
to get away from this place
i need to stop complaing
about this situation because i do have a good life

i get to talk to the most amazing person that is all i need
i have a mom who loves me
but is really upset at the way
i am not conforming to how she wants me to be
i get to walk to pleasent hill with ashley SOMETIMES
i get to do what i ever i want with my room
its so rad right now
i get to have a bunny
and dye my hair
and pierce my ears
and.....walk to the thrift store

i have orange roots and black hair

i love you honey!!!

current music: stupid music its all the same

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Tuesday, May 20th, 2003
10:55 pm - HA HA

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in we use answering machines! to screen calls an! d then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. (THIS ONE ALWAYS BUGGED ME!)

9. Only in we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their
mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money
called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest
traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they
are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


In case you needed further proof that the
! human race is doomed through stupidity,
here are some actual label instructions
on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while
sleeping. ( and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how??...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on
bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and... I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese! food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this

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9:22 pm
okay so today......
i woke up
made french toast for ONLY myself
i went to jimmy funeral
it was really catholic
and beautiful
sara and i were driving from the church to the burrial
we looked in the review mirror
and as far as you could see was a line of cars following us
it was awsome
then everyone *everyone being, my ENTIRE family*
went to this hall sort of thing
it was really nice
i played pool with my cusins i havent seen since i was like 4
and it was reallly fun
mom gave me 2.50 cents
so i spent one dollar on pool
and a dollar and 50 cents on the jupebox
i played the best songs, they had an awsome selection
a little marly, a lil pink floyd, a lil fanky sinatra
then i danced with my uncle willy, who is uhhh 70 ish
lol and then, he bought me a drink
hes so awsome
i heart him
then called max
oh max and his mind games

then went "swimming"
a.k.a. = sitting on a blow up thingy floating around and not getting wet
but i loaded on my sunblock, yo
i aint getting no cancer
thats fo sho
then went to mexican with mom it was really good
then cleanded house and now time to go....

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Monday, May 19th, 2003
12:36 pm
why is fiona apple everything i want to be?

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12:00 pm - so now were drowning in birthday cakes...
okay last entry, i must say was rad
but i forgot to mention that
i had a dream about max last night
and he was in front of me playing his guitar
it was a black electric epiphone or whatever
it was old and he wouldnt look at me and play,
he was avoiding eye contact
and i was just staring at his fingers floating on the srings
in the frets
i cant remember what it was that he was playing
but it sounded very familiar

i love you honey.

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11:40 am
one my wedding day
i want to father daughter dance to landslide with my dad
the thought of me dancing with my dad to that song brought me to tears this morning
i cant imagine anything as wonderfull, except waking up to max everday
that would be better than ANYTHING
tainted love, best emo song? i think so...
blondie, best new-york-art-rock-band? i think so...
landslide, best song EVER? i think so...

you know those photo booths at the fair and stuff
that produce 4 picutres??
i want to smoke in one of those
that would be so awsome

helen is rad.

i love you

and blood brothers are okay...ish.....
its odd, like hardcore tecno

guesss whos a hippie?????????????
ill give you a hint

shes listening to white stripes RIGHT NOW
and swaing her body as best as she knows how to
and she can only see out of one eye, the other covered with
a wavey/straight/messy/black/bob

i put the left over maragritas in the fridge last night
woke up craving one
but NOOO they had to melt......GR says the bear.....
wooooohhhhhhhhhoooooooo oooooohohohoh
okay uhh im trying to describe the guitar riff in this song,
duh duhduhduhduhd
du hu du dh udhdudh

jasmine is a bum
with-out a job
with-out a education
with-out money
all i have is
but i am so happy right now
and everything is awsome

are you bring the flowers today?>
cause i think you should
oh and if you forgot....

i love you

this song is so rad
X 9428029348204893
im gunna fight em off
a seven nation army couldnt hold me back

and im talking to myself at night cause i cant forget
back and forth through my mind behind
a cigerrett

current mood: amused
current music: white stripes- seven nation army

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Sunday, May 18th, 2003
7:32 pm
ash i love you
and i dont want you to think im into all this church junk
cause i am really not
but i am happy that i know your going to heven with me
i love you
did you like my hair today?
mmm cause i did for some strange/ odd reason
okay so im stupid
and max is perfect what else is new

is the most perfect song
its so wonderfully beautiful
i love it so much
and feel sorry for anyone who hasnt had the pleasure of hearing it
cds jas needs:

jimi hendrix- the experience
grateful dead-anything
black flag-anything

jared made my mix it has:
the clash
the adicts
glass heart-blondie (awosome song!!)
tainted love-soft cell
seven nation army-white stripes
wonder wall-oasis
i guess he forgot to put
nice day for a white wedding-billie idol
hahaha aww awsome song
im a nerd i have to do homework
and write cause i havent really wrote since friday
and i need to get it out
i have to get my clothes out after they dry
vaccumm the grostest carpet in my room
ahahah its so dirty it has sand (thanks courtney) and grass (thanks max) everywhere
i dont know
ohh the plate is okay and moms just "upset"
and i "dont need to talk to him every second"
i took that as a shaft
yea tit
later skaters

current mood: happy
current music: LANDSLIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Saturday, May 17th, 2003
7:29 pm
i have no clue whats going on and i wish someone would call me
i spent the night at taylors
we didnt do anything
and her dad was pissed we came home at 1 without calling
we went bowling which was fun because i am so talented at bowling
there were these kids there that were hella rad
one was wearing a nerve agents tee
and a chick was wearing a exploited jacket
uhh then we went to lords this was all in castro valley
then we went to applebees and me and tay split 2 baskets of motzzarella sticks
they were s o g o o d
while riding in dans car we listened to relient k
the song about sadie hawkins dance
in my kacki pants
theres nothing better
oh oh oh
it was really really funny
i baby sat courtney on friday
we went and played at civic park

i am going to take a shower and wash my hair
and then tomorrow
take ash to art on the main in wc
i hope she goes with me THIS TIME achem....

i feel lost and hopeless
and everything means nothing.

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Friday, May 16th, 2003
10:37 am
i am going to be honest because no one is anymore

and everything is boring
because everyone fakes everything
just be fucking honest


max the reason why i am very uncertin is because yesterday
i felt like you didnt care
at all
if you were there or if you were somewhere else
and i am sick of the rollercoster i am on with you

i want to know what life is
i want to feel
i want to run away
and never come back
what is the meaning of life
and is this hell?
you are put on a planet
to interact with other people
when you know nothing of yourself
i suppose that you are to discover "you"
in this period as well

when everything perfect ends with have a nice life
what if we died everynight while we slept
or one day
around 2:13 only a certin amount of people asended into heven
and some stayed on earth
what if its all true
all the stories
youve been told
or maybe every single word ever spoken
is a lie

i dont think i love you
at all
i dont know what love is
how could i love something
i dont love any of you
i dont hate any one
but myself

my brain keeps moving
torturing me
and i know you did this to me
you fucking basterd
you did this to my mind and i will never be normal again
i am so sorry
i love you
so much
all i have is you
dont leave me
dont cry
dont talk
dont leave
dont move
just lie here on the tall grass with me

this hurts me

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10:31 am
i am going to write like 4038094 entries today
i feel like shit
and i am going to take a bath
i dont know why
i am going to listen to modest mouse
and it will be just like when i was acalanes....
but it wont and i cant speak.

i have bruised knees from yesterday

i wrote a song once
and a line of it was

im on bruised knees

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10:19 am
i think the "group" of people are very intresting
and by group i mean the people that effect me the most:
max, ashley, tit, ariel, sara, tamara, helen
i have been reading strangers journals and their all quite boring
maybe because i dont know them
but we
we are writers
and the journals are intresting
because the way the people think
is intresting
im so fucking lame.

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