| 1:20a |
well what a night my moms wedding, it didnt really hit me that i had my own house till my dads g/f asked my aunt if she could smoke inside and my aunt said dont ask me ask anthony its his house. it fealt weird, i am 19 with my own house how many people can say that. i fell as if my mother abandoned us, my dad says i should always love her, i am mad at her and i am the type of person that holds grudges if u do me wrong i will make sure u know about it. i fealt the wedding was a joke, but the truth is my whole life is a joke, i am a 19 year old with a house. i dont know i guess i shouldnt feel sorry about myself but i cant help it i feel empty inside and the more i try to act happy the more angry i become i feel like i am putting on an act and i am pissed i just want things to be back the way they where, today i feel as if i lost a part of myself and in the ceremony when i gave my mother away to gill, the fact was i was in reality giving her away she has always been there and now she wont be. it is sad but i guess that is life, life is about change either u keep swimming or drown. the way things r looking now of days all i got to look forward to is a burial at sea |