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Katie

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hmm. yeaaaaa. [06 Aug 2003|03:14pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | "last song" by All American Rejects ]

warped tour was good. my birthday was friday. it was ok. i got a guitar. i love it. shit happened on wednesday, before my birthday. i can't explain.

to rachel: i read you're diary. to put it blunty, i hate you and think you're a real bitch. i am not stupid and can think responsibly. i think you're incredibly immature and you feed off of drama. you love talking about people and putting others down. you always wonder why you don't have any friends. maybe, and really, this is just a thought, maybe it's because you're such a fucking bitch! no, i'm not kidding at all. you really are. you don't know what happened that night. you don't know if it was my fault or who's idea it was or who's stuff it was. YOU DON'T KNOW SO DON'T JUDGE ME OR ANYONE ELSE INVOLVED BASED ON IT! learn the facts first.

to elizabeth: you're a fantastic friend of mine. you're the best friend i have that lives here. i <3 you big time, but you should let rachel know before i do. because i shouldn't be put in the situation where everyone hates me because they all think it's my fault and think i'm stupid and immature, etc. i don't care what you say to her as long as you let her know that it wasn't just me. it wasn't just anyone. there should be equal blame put on everyone because this was everyone's "stupid" decision. not just mine.

to dusty: keep your fucking mouth shut, asshole.

to matt: i love you! <3!!!

that's all i have to say.

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can you hear me smiling when i sing this song for you? [28 Jul 2003|09:16pm]
[ mood | hyper ]

guess where i am? i'm in Virginia Beach with Sam. Sam is my friend that moved to Hawaii a couple of years ago. i love Sam. for my birthday, Sam got me the Vans Warped Tour. guess where Sam and i are going to be tomorrow? at the fucking WARPED TOUR!!! am i excited? hell yes. very. very excited. i got two shirts today. one is a get up kids shirt. the other one is a taking back sunday shirt. they're both quite lovely. i think i'm wearing the get up kids shirt tomorrow to the warped tour. man, this week is just great :-D :-D :-D leave me notes, they'll make me happier :-)
<3,
Katie
P.S.- i <3 Art-- Today is gonna be the day, that they're gonna throw it back to you, by now you should've somehow, realized what you gotta do. I don't believe that anybody Feels the way I do about you now. Backbeat the word was on the street That the fire in your heart is out. I'm sure you've heard it all before But you never really had a doubt. I don't believe that anybody feels The way I do about you now. And all the roads we have to walk along are winding, And all the lights that lead us there are blinding.. There are many things that I would Like to say to you, I don't know how. Because maybe You're gonna be the one who saves me? And after all, You're my wonderwall. Today was gonna be the day, But they'll never throw it back to you. By now you should've somehow Realized what you're not to do. I don't believe that anybody Feels the way I do About you now. And all the roads that lead to you were winding.. And all the lights that light the way are blinding. There are many things that I would like to say to you, I don't know how. I said maybe, You're gonna be the one who saves me? And after all, You're my wonderwall.. I said maybe, You're gonna be the one who saves me? And after all, You're my wonderwall.. Said maybe, You're gonna be the one that saves me, You're gonna be the one that saves me, You're gonna be the one that saves me..

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good day sunlight, i'd like to say how truly bright you are. [25 Jul 2003|12:49pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | "ten minutes" by The Get Up Kids ]

man. i'm happy. really happy right now. in 3days. THREE DAYS!!!! i'll be in virginia beach with Sam :-D :-D!!! then, on tuesday, i'll be at the fucking vans warped tour!!!!!!! Wednesday, we're coming back to Pocomoke. on Thursday, MATT IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! i'm incredibly happy! my brother also gets back from PA on that day so we're taking a huge trip to the mall. then, friday is my birthday!!!!! one week from today. i'm so happy, this is going to be a great week! lots of people are coming to my birthday party and i just can't wait! and i get to see Sam and Matt and it's just insane. i haven't been this happy in a long time. i wish i could talk to Art right now. he always catches me when i'm in a bad mood. but right now, shit. nothing could make me sad. :-D!!
<3,
Katie
P.S. - ten minutes to downtown is ten minutes too far when my heart is saying you're crazy. maybe things are getting better (maybe things are getting better) maybe things aren't so bad (maybe things aren't so bad) don't be gone when i get home you're all i have. if i had to explain it, i wouldn't know where to start, it's like you're falling in love while i just fall apart.

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i do hope i won't learn to make the same mistakes that you would [23 Jul 2003|02:29pm]
[ mood | good ]
[ music | none, actually. i just turned it off to go downstairs ]

hmm. i spent the night at elizabeth's the other night. that was fun. not much has been going on with me. i downloaded some Tool today because i like this song that was in Rob's profile a whole lot. i sent my birthday party invitations out yesterday. i walked to the post office and back. twas exciting. i'm going to go take a shower soon. i reccomend the band "Pictures of Annie" to anyone who is reading this entry right now. they rock real hard. i'm going to buy their cd and some buttons :-). hmm. next week is going to be fantastic. i go to VA beach on the 28th and i get to see my Sammy Sam :-D! DJ moves to florida that day, that's really sad. on the 29th i'm going to the vans warped tour with Sam :-D!!!! we're going back to Pocomoke the next day. on August 1st at 5:00 pm at 219 11th Street (my grandparent's house) my party will kick off. after we all eat, we're going to venture to my house. we will open presents there and play games and have karaoke and have a grand ol' time. everyone will spend the night and it will be fantastic. i can't wait! oh i can't wait at all!i think i'm going to start writing a list of what i want today. i'll be putting the pictures of annie cd on that list along with the pink button and the heart button. woohoo. ok. that's all i have to say now :-).
<3,
Katie

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wanna go for a ride? [18 Jul 2003|04:43pm]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | "Zero" by Smashing Pumpkins ]

there's lots of people at my house. i spent the night at elizabeth's last night. before that, her, mark, and i went to salisbury and went to the mall. it was fun. today, my brother and i hosted a halo party at our house because we got a lan party xbox hub yesterday, woo. lots of people. hmm. i took some pictures, but not when everyone was here, so you can't really get the full effect and i don't feel like adding them to fotki right now. i did add two new albums to fotki today though, they're pictures from last night. elizabeth and i walked by dj's house last night and he was outside so we went and talked to him. i took pictures of him because he's lovely. ::shrugs::. i don't work today, that's a really good thing. i do, however, work tomorrow, but not until 10:30 which is much more reasonable than the usual 7:30. 7:30 am is just an unheard of hour on a saturday during the summer, i mean honestly. i think when school starts i might try to find a new job. i'll have stuff going on that can't be worked around, and that's not good when i have a job that doesn't allow me to flex my schedule at all. i'm done writing. i want to talk to Art, i think he should get online.
<3,
Katie
P.S.- i don't think you trust in my self-righteous suicide, i cry when angels deserve to die, in my self-righteous suicide, i cry when angels deserve to die. FATHER father FATHER father FATHER father, father into your hands i commend my spirits, father into your hands, why have you forsaken me? in your eyes forsaken me, in your thoughts forsaken me, in your heart forsaken me, oh, trust in my self-righteous suicide, i cry when angles deserve to die, in my self-righteous suicide, i cry when angels deserve to die

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really, i could care less. [16 Jul 2003|12:46am]
[ mood | crappy ]

i hate being sad and pissed off for no reason. i hate crying. i hate how emotional i've become. i hate guys. i hate that i have no fucking notes whatsoever on my pathetic diary. i hate knowing that this is because i have no friends. i hate living here. i hate not getting attention. i hate being ignored. if someone walked in and shot me dead right now, i could really care less.

2 comments|post comment

it's cold where you're going i hope that your heart's always warm [15 Jul 2003|07:33pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | "Ender Will Save Us All" by Dashboard Confessional ]

hmm. i just got off work. it wasn't too bad, the kids were pretty good. their mommom brought them mcdonald's for dinner, so that made it even easier. look at my icon, i made it. my brother saw it today and he was like "where'd you get that from?" me: "i made it" him: "really? wow, you cut that out very well". that made me very happy. i'm getting good at this designing thing. that's all i have to say.
<33,
Katie
P.S.- this vacation's useless, these white pills aren't kind, i've given a lot of thought on this 13 hour drive. i miss the grinded concrete where we sat past 8 or 9 and slowly finishing laughing in the glow of our headlights. i've given a lot of thought to the nights we used to have. the days have come and gone, our lives went by so fast, i faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor where i layed and told you but you swear you love me more. do you care if i don't know what to say? will you sleep tonight or will you think of me? will i shake this off, pretend it's all ok, that there's someone out there who feels just like me? there is.

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it's just the thought of you in love with someone else [15 Jul 2003|02:51pm]
[ mood | jealous ]
[ music | "Waste of Paint" by Bright Eyes ]

hmm. i woke up, brushed my teeth, got online, talked to Art, took a shower, talked to Art more, Art called, i talked to him on the phone for about 3 hours, we got off the phone, i got back on the computer, tripp brought subway home, i had 1/2 an italian sub, i looked at fotki to see if anyone left notes on our photo albums, they haven't, i checked my journal to see if i had any notes, i don't, and now i'm updating. i work from 5-7. my hair smells good. it's soft as well. i'm drinking milk, i hate milk. i hate girls named lindsay that guys named Art go out with. my teddy bear rocks. he's hot. he doesn't have a name, he needs a name. i'm done.
<33,
Katie
P.S.- will my number come up eventually? like love's some kind of lottery, where you scratch and see what's underneath? it's sorry. just one cherry, i'll play again, get lucky...and i wanna scream out that it all is nonsense... but just then my knees give under me, my head feels weak and suddenly, it's clear to see it's not them, but me who's lost my self identity. and i hide behind these books i read while scribbling my poetry like art could save a wretch like me with some ideal ideaology that no one could hope to achieve and i'm never real it's just a sketch of me and everything i made is trite and cheap and a waste of paint, of tape, of time.

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i guess that it's typical to cling to memories you'll never get back again [14 Jul 2003|10:34pm]
[ mood | pleased ]
[ music | "Bandages" by Hot Hot Heat :-D Bright Eyes is up next. ]

elizabeth and i have made 5 albums today. they are: http://public.fotki.com/KJTgreat/cupcakes/ http://public.fotki.com/KJTgreat/lovely/ http://public.fotki.com/KJTgreat/ive_slept_alone/
http://public.fotki.com/KJTgreat/i_dont_care/ http://public.fotki.com/KJTgreat/coke_is_better_than/
go look at all of them. and leave comments. i'm the one with the black shirt on, elizabeth is the other one. we are super people. my knee hurts really bad. i should get that looked at again. i'm supposed to have an appointment with my orthopedic surgeon every 6months. i haven't gone in two years. i really like this font, i've decided, it's lovely. i don't want to go to work tomorrow. ::shrugs:: it's money, i'll deal. atleast i don't have to go in at 7:30 on saturday, that's a tres tres bien chose. (very very good thing). i wish he would get online. right now. he got on earlier when elizabeth and i were on a picture taking adventure. and he got off before we got back, i was sad. that's all i have to say now. i'm not in a very creative mood at the moment, sorry. :-\
<33,
Katie
P.S. - into this song i send myself and with these drinks i plan to collapse and forget this wasted year (this wasted year) well devoted friends, they dissappear... i guess it's just like breathing, but not wanting to, there are some things you can't fake.

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[14 Jul 2003|06:01pm]
i spent the night at Elizabeth's house last night. we went to salisbury and saw "the pirates of the carribean" it was very good. today, we took lots of pictures. before taking lots of pictures we made cupcakes, they were delicious and we have pictures of them here: http://public.fotki.com/KJTgreat/cupcakes/ yay! there are also pictures of our walk here: http://public.fotki.com/KJTgreat/coke_is_better_than/ it was a great day. i <3 elizabeth! yay! we made a special cupcake just for DJ and we went to his house to give it to him and he wouldn't come downstairs and get it. so he sent his brother down cuz he's a lame whore and we gave the cupcake to his brother. i bet he didn't eat it, i bet he said his brother could have it. that makes me sad :-(. that is all :-)
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this is where i say i've had enough. [13 Jul 2003|11:57am]
[ mood | satisfied ]
[ music | "saints and sailors" by dashboard confessional. ]

oh good, i made a new journal. it's really ugly, i hope that can be fixed. if it can't, i'm going somewhere else. anyways. work sucked big time yesterday. the kids were terrible and their mom was home, but i stayed anyway because she was really sick. because she was so sick, i had to take all three of them to a birthday party. at the birthday party there were 7kids including the three i brought. at one point, all the parents went inside to eat, leaving me to watch all 7kids, there were three 2 year olds, two 4 year olds, one 5 year old, and one 6 year old. it was hell. so. i've been thinking about him a lot. maybe it's because i always talk to him before going to bed, which leaves me thinking about him, which leaves me dreaming about him, which leaves me thinking about him when i wake up. or maybe i'm just an insane obsessive psycho. ::shrugs:: who knows. i cried a lot last night, i don't even know why. i saw league of extraordinary gentlemen with my brother, it was good. we got home, i got online, talked to my friend Art whom i haven't talked to in months. i was hoping "he" would get online, but he didn't. then Art was telling me about his new girlfriend. and i got really sad all of a sudden. and just kept getting sadder as the conversation went on, and i cried a lot. i hate crying. this morning was quite fantastic. tripp woke me up by giving me a sausage, egg, and cheese mcgriddle from mcdonald's. those things are so good. it made my day. i got lots of lovely buttons to put on my bag yesterday. i got other stuff too. Mark and i are expanding our DVD collection, it's going well. hmm. i'm done writing now. i always write too much. ::shrugs:: i needed to put all that somewhere.

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