Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Randall Harris' Blurty:

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Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
12:00 am	It's happening all over again, but this time earlier! please excuse the shitty writing, its been a while. Welcome back to MHS I hope you all had a great summer. "please don't blow it" words from our supportive principal. new classes, new rules, new teachers and a new I.D. attempt. New this year to the student body is identification carried in a pocket or back pack not around the neck. No more lovely orange necklaces visible to the teachers to make sure we belong there. No more worrying about random people entering the building and doing awful things. Good thing the rule is if the teacher asks you for your ID you must show it to them. Frightening. Maybe they did it because those necklaces were too much for the budget. Maybe it is because too many children were getting strangled by the strangless mechanisms. Or maybe it is because the marlborough high school can't enforce their rules. It was a simple rule. No ID, detention. How many teachers did that all year? I can't think of any. Laziness or kindness, either way the rule was wear your identification badges every day for the whole school day, not wear it when you want. The teachers job was not to enforce this rule if they wanted to, not to be afraid to tell their students to wear the badges and get complaints on the IDs. We were told to wear the IDs and we did not want to so we did not and look what happened. We won. No more IDs visible around the neck. Now they are in the pocket. wow. Whats the point then? you might as well just tattoo bar codes on our wrists, make it mandatory to wear white long sleeve shirts and khaki pants with black shoes and no make up or accesories. Then all our problems would be solved. No discrimination. No vulgar words on clothes. No distractions in class. and if a teacher wanted to know who you were, you could just pull up your sleeve and they could have little scanners to check and see if you were branded to be in this school. Sounds good to me. It's a great example to look back on and show people who are worried about authority and rules that if you have numbers that will not obey the rule, and no one to enforce this rule. You will win. But we shouldnt have to look back at our school and see this pathetic shit. You can't even enforce a simple rule like wearing an ID. What does this mean? You can make rules to make school appropriate and safe. or something like that. I'm tired. Good to know the years starting off right though. It's always nice to come back to a win. Pathetic school. Don't be afraid to use some force. You have hundreds of kids to teach and form into adults. Show them what authority should be or show them nothing. just close the school. quit your job. fly down to mexico and volunteer to teach poor people addition. They will listen to what you say because they'd love to get an education for free. Though I don't think its really free. Public schools in marlboro. I hope not in other towns but I would not doubt it. No actual payments to the school from the parents. The payment is the children learning nothing. Learn from experience, observe their teachers and their power hungry methods or unmotivated teaching. Fuck the streets. we dont need to fucking re do the streets or pipes. if we didnt have streets we wouldnt need cars, the environment would be happier and people wouldnt be as fuckin fat as they are now. Put the money alone you pay the "police" you put on the streets to "direct" traffic and put it into the teachers pay checks. You need motivation to enforce rules. This is a public school just saying you have to do this wont work. But that isnt even the problem. Its the teachers. You need to give them what they want so they will give the parents what they want, an appropriate education. Just forget about our streets. Let them go to hell. force people to do shit for themselves and either fix the streets or walk places and not be fat fucks anymore. One more thing. New rule for marlboro. If you want to be a police officer you need to be able to run a 3 mile run monthly in under 30 minutes. If you can't do that how are you going to catch some young delinquent? YOU FUCKING WONT. Go work at Dunkin Donuts. This message has been brought to you by me, if you don't like it, don't read it. My girlfriend is beautiful Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: ataris-saddest song (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 18th, 2004
1:32 am	Insert penis into vagina. An equation so simple, which leads to such a complex product. A product of priceless value. Granted it’s much easier to open a book then to read it, having sex is much easier than actually having to manually create a child. The point is the steps we take to create life purposely are simple actions. So we must learn that from day one we must live with a simple life style and take part in simple actions so that we may eventually obtain our priceless product of life. Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: fan above my head (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 3rd, 2004
2:45 am	I have an amazing girlfriend this week was amazing. Maine. FOOD. beach. paddle ball. train. PISH POSH. futons. fluff. peanut butter. chicken. water. fried dough. HENNA. jesus. terminator. 24 cent bathrooms. chille. farts. HARRY. the fam. no tv. no aol. fireworks. the moon. boogie boarding. rasta ball. knives. swords. club wear. clubs. white boys. gangstas. drive bys minus the guns. pirates cove. driving range style mini golf. pictures. life guard tower. DIGGING. moat around tanness. sun burn. tan. poop. happiness. smiles. painful walk. 23 cents! rite aid. marshmellow guns. CUSTOM. purse through pier into ocean. PIZZA. shoe soles. paper napkins. GAS. pepsi. GOOD RADIO STATION. lack of marlboro. not missing. laughing. hand in hand. arm around shoulder. lips on lips. fingers in fingers. aloe. STENCH! grammy. papa. alcohol everywhere. thinking of stoddard. thinking of how close a # is. 8 months ! can you believe that already?!? wow AllieMAZING. I love you baby very much always and forever plus a little bit of eternity your bear Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: my girl in my head... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 27th, 2004
3:39 am	is it possible for a person to be a completely different person in the matter of a year. not just change, like a new person. not new like I used to be a heroin whore and now I work at walmart. new like "mental disorder" I think it would be around that. what you would call it. what if there are really many different personalities in every brain its just the actions we take place in form all the personalities into one. but if there were a stray one and then all of a sudden it took over. what would happen. would you be considered dead. does death mean bad things. or is death just a change of personality and body. or is death a rebirth. or is death a transportation service. thats what it is. a company no one really understands until they have their package delivered. its sort of like a mystery package you dont know what it will be where it will be and when it will be but when you do get it the company provides transportation to an unknown location. THE TRICK IS TO FIND THE COMPANY. yep. if you found out where it was located one could discover where when and why everyone would go on that trip the company provides. You could maybe even bargain with them. take the load of their shoulders. play what many people like to refer to as "god". do you believe in god or do you believe in death. why do you think you hear people say death is near or death is coming. ITS BECAUSE THEY KNOW WHATS UP. they have found the location and know what the fuck is up. next time you hear that even if its some homeless dude in the street. talk to them. SEE WHAT THE FUCK IS UP. because maybe they can help you out. so maybe you dont want to know when you are going to go. but what about where they take you. maybe there are different packages. and what you have to do to get a certain package. their has deffenitely got to be a good and bad package. but then there must be vip package and hero package and villan packages. you know you just have to pay attention. i dont understand why people get scared when they hear that DEATH is coming. shit be happy you get a free ride somewhere and with gas prices this high anyone would be glad. right. well at least get excited about going somewhere new. unless you get the villan package and get stuck in a place that you've hated all your life and its just on repeat. ouch. DEATH is simply explained just hard to find. see everyone is dying its just no one knows where they go. or what goes. or what happens. but its all over. DEATH is in the air. you dont know if the company is there unless they tell you. thats why you hear it sometimes in movies or from people that are thought of as crazy in the streets. come on they are just ambassadors lookin to find a friend to help out because they are lonely and want to get out of the business. but since people think they are crazy no one really talks to them but they can help you out! so next time you hear that talk to them. DEATH AMBASSADORS can come in any forms if you see it in the tv. TALK TO YOUR TV. what have you got to lose. you may gain some helpful information. so just dont be afraid of death. they tried to contact you earlier in your life but you didnt listen. but no matter what in the end its not that bad. its a cycle. but it happens over a very long period of time. perhaps its different solar systems. you get taken away by death via wind or rainbow and go to a new planet in a galaxy far from the last one and each time DEATH takes you you go to a knew galaxy until the first galaxy you were in comlpetely restarts. like 65 million years ago here. its all in the flow. you just gotta go with it. and DEATH might change your life form too based on your DEATH plan. like if you get the villan plan you go to another planet as a rock or water but if you get the vip or luxury you could arrive as a wealthy being. you will never know unless you give DEATH a chance. Current Mood: exhausted (Comment on this)
3:37 am	Unless...you don't give a shit The ability to see is an amazing thing. If there was no such thing as sight then we would not have been able to evolve into such an artistic world we live in today. It allows us to learn and discover new things without even having to open our mouths pay money or get off our couches. We are provided with free television stations and on those stations sometimes we are fortunate to receive programs on idea, inventions, historical events and locations. The television, the cinema, cable television. It's all evolved into an amazing motivation to stay indoors and enjoy the commercials that suck unsuspecting people into buying their over priced products and eating food while sitting on the couch rotting their eye balls out, though learning and discovering new and unusual things. Cable TV, VCRs, DVD players and game systems are all wonderful attributes to the increasing population of over weight people. Over weight americans. Americans have money children are spoiled get what they want and when they spend all day inside playing video games or watching the tv they see the ads get either the items that cause fatness due to staying in or not keeping active or just food itself that is unhealthy. A new generation of people is in the making. Blame it on technology which innevitabely must go on and keep getting better and better, in some eyes, but in reality it is just getting more appealing to the consumers and sucking them in. Soon the world will be a gigantic piece of technology. No more need for natural resources exept for when the power companies need new power sources. The age of children staying indoors when its 70-90 degrees out, not even that even if its sunny out but cool, whatever. Not taking advantage of the healthy free things in life that we dont appreciate. We could blame children staying in due to crime and abductors or terrorism OR the parents of the fat ass children could take some time our of their days and go out with them. Go for a walk even, jump rope, throw a ball, go swimming, go boating, go biking, anything its not that hard and if you think its hard...the more you do it the easier it gets. The world is becoming a place where its ok to stare at a computer or tv screen all day, its ok to waste money and perishable items, its ok because we have surplus, its ok to get divorced. Like no big deal if you pledge to love someone till death do us part (if not) and then some and then throw it away. I mean grow up while your kids are rotting their eyes out and thinking they are some big shot because they won some level and have some cool game bull shit you cant even be mature enough to know oh I am so happy lets get married now I know you so well is just the whole new person thing. You have to see if that feeling lasts not go right off and marry each other. Marriage is a huge deal, if you are going to commit to someone dont be a fuckin moron. Dont have kids and then realize you dont want to spend forever with this person. Dont fuck with your kids heads like that, they have enough shit as is in the normal world. Take for instance the lack of motivation by the industry to get outdoors. Of the ads you see on t.v. there are not many that encourage getting outside. Maybe the jeep adds or whatever but the rest are just bla bla bla do this buy this its great to keep you indoors. then influence of other kids so if you raise your kid to be outside enjoy the outdoors and so on then you send them to school where you have the spoiled kids that dont want to deal with crying kids and give them what they want. Public or private it wont make a different if anything private schools would be worse for that matter, stereotypes are bad but you might as well figure the kids that go their parents want them to go to a nice school and give their kids whatever. who knows what the motives of half the parents out there are but its just no good. Public schools just piss me off. Private schools are made to have cocky kids, and Religous schools are made if the parent is just asking for trouble. Just send them to a school where they can at least choose a little for themselves. Go to a religous school and from day one they are learning that religon is the only way. You dont even give your kids the chance to be what they want to be. You dont know who they could be so just let them choose. They could either be some commander, a preist or a terrorist. No one knows unless they are given a choice. Some parents just dont get that while they are responsible for the child they dont need to form the decissions for the choices they will encounter later on in life then. So the idea is think about the bigger picture when you act. Current Mood: exhausted (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 24th, 2004
4:11 am	Schwinn Green fur This year for the 4th its going to be amazing. Stoddard, fireworks, barbaque, lake, fireworks, family, chilling, happiness and ALLIE. My girlfriend is going to be up there with me. Sleep over with me which clearly means late night walks through the woods down to the lake to look at the stars. Its gonna be perfect. My yearly fireworks show should be bigger and better than last years seeing that there should be a good number of people who will wanna view the show that means the demand is higher and more fireworks will have to be purchased! Fireworks at the lake, fireworks at the house, fireworks in the yard. The show is going to burn the whole forest down. Even if it rained it would be ok because Allie will be there, in front of the fire place or out on the porch just listening to the woods. Brainstorming ideas for the letter I want to write to a certain someone in order to achieve a certain something. Wisdom teeth are all gone and my summer is going by quickly with doing nothing. Beach friday. Right now I must get some sleep the bicycle work needed for tomorrow is gonna be semi-rough but then we get to end it with a movie night celebrated with everyone. I will work on having better entries by the end of the week. Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: Birds waking up with a hint of sunlight (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 8th, 2004
11:42 pm	Are you the type of person that enjoys watching... people get into trouble or are you the type that does the best that you can to help them out instead of just sit back and get pleasure from other peoples punishments? my girlfriend and I officially have the perfect lives right now. its 12:14 a.m. the date may ninth. a wonderful date. not a perfect date a wonderful one. because it signifies how you have a life you are living and then it gets so good. you think what did you do to deserve the perfect life already. people have to wait till they are so much older and mature to get love and happiness. why was i so lucky to get it now. why am i so lucky to have allie. why have i been blessed with such a perfect creature. I couldnt even come close to matching how good of a person she is. No where at all to how smart. And then beauty...yeah right. Skin color, hair, eyes, lips, smell, touch, voice, insides, heart, mind, soul...just amazing flawless and perfect. The ultimate gift of life. You make me so happy allixer I love being with you I love having you as my girlfrienf and I love having us be us. you and I = phenominal (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 2nd, 2004
11:34 pm	11:40 p.m. and you should be asleep. ASLEEP. ASLEEP. ASLEEP. why go to bed just to wake up for school. why go to school just to wake up for work. why go work just to wake up for your boss. do you work for yourself. do you work for your boss. do you make money for yourself. do you make money to pay the grocery store. do you make money to pay the bills. do you make money to pay taxes. do you make money to pay for people that cannot speak english yet insist on going to english schools. why. why. why. ill tell you why. there is a teacher. there is a schoo. there is a prison like building. there is a prison like building with a school running out of it. out of control. with a principal taking the last steps before chaos breaks free. teachers. pathetic. rules. unenforced. when enforced, punishments are pathetic. students taking over. teachers being walked over. trampled. laughed at. the loudest voice is not always the right. and. this is why the teachers are starting to quiet down. they understand now. if only the teachers could undserstand students. not A students i mean come on. student government was announced. oh i wonder if all those kids announced got a c on their report card if they all wouldnt cry. i bet they would. maybe the principal will be overthrown and the student politicians will take over. they could probably make things better. but then. they would be taken over. and chaos would come. peace would come. freedom would come. an early summer. if you run an institute that teaches pupils how to act and put their knowledge into lifes everyday tasks there really ought to be some good teachers. people that will teach nontextbook. people that will explain. people who will help. people who will care. people who will understand if something is wrong with a child. people who will not abuse the priviledges they recieve by becoming a mind former. teachers hold a dangerous power. usually for one year they have the power to burn materials into your mind. other people check that they can teach the text book stuff. but do they check what they actually teach. do they check the moral teachings they give out everyday. do they check the behavoir of teachers as much as they do students. how many teachers a year get fired because of behavoir or violence. well. do we check backrounds and current life situations. mental stability. drug alchohol anything testing. no. because public schools are priviledges the students are given. a chance that all people will get the same education and be given a chance to succeed. well. our teachers are what give us the chance to succeed. not the state. the state would be nothing without its students and its parents. the state would be nothing without human beings being taught correctly how to act. the city. our own city. well. city hall lets say. pretty safe there. nice and low. main street. roof tops all close by. gun store right next door. porn. suits. resturaunts. churches. bakeries. clothing stores. if you go into boston metal detectors. barracades. police. security cameras. city hall. unlocked doors. maybe security. probably worse than mall security. this city hall. this state. this city. the public schools. the mind formers. the people that form minds in just a year. its ok a teacher messes up once. its ok for them to mess up period. do they mess up or does the school mess up. does the school mess up or does the superintendent mess up. does the superintendent mess up or does the city mess up. does the city mess up or does the state mess up. does the state mess up or is it the states people. is it them or is it society. culture. the way of life. the united states of america. life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. bill of rights. for the people. written by those A students on student government. the politicians for the city. the superintendent. maybe. the teachers in our schools. doubt it. you need what to be a substitute teacher in our school. condom with clean piss. some fake documents and you are in a classroom with students. children. teenagers. young adults. the future of the world. put in the hands of the A students that just dont give a fuck any more or just have to much shit to deal with and lose track. students lose track of school. students lose track of hope. students lose track of life. and the future equals nothing. Current Mood: exhausted (Comment on this)
Friday, April 23rd, 2004
12:42 am	Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be born? Have you ever pondered the forgotten feeling of being born? Do you ever wish you were back in your mothers womb all curled up and comfortable? In this world do you sometimes feel unsafe? Now, thanks to new discoveries. We can help! Come on down to our newly patented facility where you can experience it all over again. The process is simple. Step one: Drive on down to our remote location where you will then be transported under ground to our plant. Step two: Fill out some simple waivers and undress. *we offer full body massages before the process if desired* Step three: Step into our latex based hot tub. You will experience ultimate comfort and an all around safe feeling once you enter the artificial womb. Step four: Steam is poured over your body, but what you dont know is it is sleeping gas...you fall asleep and your head is safely placed in comfort gu. Step five: As the gas wears off the tub is drained and you are sucked through the bottom of the latex tub, where you will be greeted by giants. We'd like to thank you for your time and appreciate you coming in to see us. Our phone number is : 1-800-gtppdot Any questions please call. We also have the opposite of birth, can't really say it on this advertising source but if you'd like to experience that we have experimental workshops for that too =) I love my girlfriend. I always have fun with her. I will cherish the day we become legally bound together. Step six: If you do not wake up that is why we had you sign the waiver. Current Mood: horny Current Music: the very quiet noise from the computer. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, March 29th, 2004
11:20 pm	Theres always a fine print. Even when spoken. SO NEXT TIME YOU SAY YES, BE CAREFUL. Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: jazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 9th, 2004
10:47 pm	So just chill...till the next episode So lets say you dream. So lets say you dont remember all of your dreams. So lets say the dreams you dont remember are images of your future. So lets say you think something is familiar but in falsereality its just your mind remembering your unremembered dreams! So lets question why I say lets when its clearly one person. If you go to school you are most likely going to encounter a friend. Friend turned bad. You turned bad. You turned your back and got stabbed. You dont know cuz you were blindfolded the whole time! Lend people a hand and they will give you an arm. If they give you a fingernail shaving back then they are no good. Show thanks for kindness. It will get you places. Getting places is good. Experience is knowledge. Knowledge is grand. Grand stands are just excuses for stalkers and serial killers to do what they do. Klostrofobic and their anger kicks off. Dont forget that. Forgetting things doesnt help you, unless they are dreams. Surprises can make you smile. Surprises can give you denial. Deny the fact that you are evil. Evil is the key to good. You gotta have good to have evil cuz in reality. Evil is not evil it is good that is evil, perhaps "good". For good is different then "good" in society today. So heres where you must stop and think. Before you think anything. Don't think at all. Its already too much work you've done for this entry. If you die you are merely born into another world. A world of dark. A world of Heaven. A world of whatever you believe happens in the end. But either way its a new world. A world with the potential of new things and new wonders. So why fear death. Because death is the unknown. But if you have an idea of what happens after death you will not fear death. Thus live worry free. So don't read this anymore and figure out why you arnt afraid of death and then...kill yourself! *disclaimer* RQH productions is not responsible for any human who kills themself. Should anyone be responsible for that? I mean if someone kills themself. Its another person we dont have to pay for in some indirect way with our tax dollars.Mass suicide is good for our economy!*disclaimer* I have this girlfriend that is amazing, but you can't have her so kill yourself *please see disclaimer* Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: I'm not gonna lie...Biggie smalls and some thugs...Notorius? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 6th, 2004
3:33 pm	I love you bear. Always. -a* Current Mood: horny Current Music: heh heh heh (Comment on this)
Friday, March 5th, 2004
11:54 pm	and the award goes to...KEN If you were to organize an event for a high school having to do with different males from different grades and different talents, would you make it so seniors won every year, or make it based on who should really win. Would you base it on who has the crowd’s vote or who looks best in front of the crowd? Who if won would be the perfect role model for the student body or would be the perfect person to look back on and just smile. Depending on your superiors like a principal or city official you might have to see to it that the winner had some sort of advantage. Like if you had a principal over your head that liked to rule her school and regulate everything to have a positive learning environment. The winner may have to be a student who would abide to all those rules and regulations to perhaps promote her idea of the perfect student body. A winner who is seen as the good kid to all eyes set upon him. Maybe just maybe there could be some sort of silly thing where seniors always have to win. Maybe just maybe if a senior did not win then it would be seen as not right. Oh my. We couldn’t let that happen, have a year that is different from the rest. The final five kids were a good crew if you’re into that sort of thing. 3 juniors and 2 seniors. The great conflict arose between the two seniors. You have the good kid and then the funny kid. When your two judges are city officials and then the final judge some Barbie who was sung to by the good kid. I think you all know who was obviously going to win. This world we live in today is pathetic. You get this competition that is going to be highly publicized and what do you know, the judges are politicians and Barbie’s come out to get the spotlight. Of course if they come to high school fundraisers and agree to be judges they must be doing their duties to the community and be good people. Now I tried to research information on the two politicians because I thought maybe if I knew more about what they did and who they were I could have a little more better writing under my finger tips but no such information was found. The search contained little effort and as for Barbie she wasn’t even considered in the search. From both sides it helps when you sort of get to know the people you are writing about. Makes things a little easier. So you have this slightly retarded adult who likes to do shit on TV and then figures oh wow people actually watch my show I might as well just try to run this town while I’m at it. The guy fails because his only votes are from people who should die and he starts losing his publicity. So he decides to give back to his community and become part of an act in the show. WOW. Now here’s where you must think. Is it for the publicity or, could the man just have decided well maybe I should help my fans out! I’ll become part of their act. Make it funny and wild. I’ll become a great public figure who is seen as a teenager friendly adult. Yes. No. Yes. No. Remember the both sides theory. It’s a great theory to go by. Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: Scar tissue...Red Hot Chilles (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 26th, 2004
11:25 pm	Golden Goodness Don't cheat because cheaters win. Winners don't lose because they don't cheat. If you eat nothing then nothing will be eaten and the world will grow. Growing leads to the end of the green house effect. We don't want to over heat do we? We don't want to over heat do we? We don't want to over eat do we? We don't want to get fat right? We don't want to be ugly. We need people to like us right? If there is no one to like us, can we like anyone, in the long run? Black socks lead to a happy man. Good playing leads to a happy man. Theoretically Bad playing leads to a happy man too. Isn't it about having fun? No pressure? No stress? Or do we want to win? If you fight there is always a period. You have the power to control the comma. Comma means you keep it going. Period means you say hello. Say Hello to the new. Say Hello to the new things. Say Goodbye. Leave the pain. Leave the train and take the bus. Bus's pollute. Pollution fuels global warming. So should we eat. No point in not eating if you take the bus. But then again, bus's bring you to the place. The place where winning is nothing. But makes us so happy? Happiness leads to smiles. Smiles lead to suicide. Suicide from unreality. Friend ship is key. Love is key. Happiness is the lock. Keys slide into locks. Unlock the lock. Lock the key. Key is to find the unlocked lock. Poland springs is clean right? Because it is private. not tap. So students here are no good. mhs is tap water? we should be just like poland springs? Private school genre. Classy. Appropriate. Yes our Srm. Noslrac loves to form us. Make us her little pigs. Pigs to eventually be sent into the world. Made by her. The good ones she gets credit for. The bad ones she sends to another school. Send kids away to a bad school. They get better? they get worse. Its all your fault. Its all their fault. Its the parents fault. Or the environment. Do you know? I know. Do they know? I don't. There are only so many commas a mind can handle. There are only a few periods the mind cannot handle. Some more drastic. Some less drastic. Don't push that key. Look out for that tree. If you hurt it we will get over heated. Global warming. Don't forget. Pollute and you die. Global warm. We all die. It is innevtiable. Why be afraid of death? Death is life. How do you know you are living. You are in the womb. Earth is your womb. Our atmosphere is your womb. "global warming" is simply you getting ready to be born. Once our earth "burns up" you are given birth. You die. But in reality you are being born. When you are born you are brought into this world. So when you "die" you are brought into a whole new world. Thus a new life. The cycle. The theory. The imagination can lead you to many places. Don't dig to deep. There are only so many commas one can handle. Armed robbery, dont be afraid. Fight back. Do not fear them. If they shoot you get born again. If you die you get born again. If you live, born again. Why fear things in life? Reason is because of the things you aquire while you live. You arent gonna go not fearing death if you have loved ones. Family. Dogs. Bonds. Properties. or hair. Right? Right. Be good. Being good is undefineable. Think of what you like. Do it. That is good. Don't go based on Srm Noslrac.'s idea of good. If you do. You will become a robot. If you like that. Do it. If you enjoy life. Do your self. Current Mood: horny (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:08 pm	so good for jazz band... It is innevitable that sometime in your life you will be put in a group and there will be a goal you all will strive for. There are always the people who are dedicated to succeeding and bringing the group with them to "win" and then there are the weak links you could say of the group. Even though they may not drag down the group they still are the thing holding you back from being better than good or great. the type of link that wont break and ruin everything but the kind that could get stronger and in the long run make the whole chain unbreakable. When you win in life whether it be a game race or other type of competition you automatically become overwhelmed with joy and happiness that your hard work and team effort finally paid off. Crying jumping up and down or simply clapping when you hear you have won, everyone has their own method to expressing their emotions just as in any other case. The conflict arrises when you are the "weak link". Knowing you could have put more effort in and done better, but still your group wins. How are you supposed to feel. You clearly don't deserve to be rejoicing, you did serious amounts less of work and yet you get the reward? Thats not right. If you don't work for something but still end up getting it, oh sure woo hoo you win, but in reality do you really win? No. Congratulations to the marlborough high school jazz band on a gold medal. You deserved it. Current Mood: exhausted (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 10th, 2004
6:42 pm	In one moment you can be happy and the next dead. Breathing is a natural action. You do it without even thinking about it. So why do you ask what the scientific name for nipple is? Because you are bored with life. You need new things, new places, and new adventures. Off into the woods, off into the wild, off into peace from the world. The computer is evil. How many teenagers these days can go away from home and say I miss my mother and father rather then their computer. The computer is the gateway drug to misery. Becoming blind and not being able to see the new mustn’t be fun. The screen rots our your eyes. Using the Internet as a shield is common with the cowardly folk. People like to be loud. People don’t like loud people. Whistles or yells in the halls should be punishable by execution, by the flowers in our school. Teachers are the bullied. Bullies are the teacher’s pets. Icicles in the summer are harder than ever while snowballs in the North Pole melt. Moldy air is inhaled each day. Public school unwelcoming “insult” and change. Jobs not being done well. Light in day. Dark in night. Night light, dark day. “We are on the same team”. Death. Funeral. 21 gun salute. Silent music. Band = emo? Watch frozen to 12…am or pm? 7:20 our lives get changed for the good. 7:20 we are shaped into a respectable body. 7:20 we are names on pieces of plastic. 7:20 we are pledging allegiance. 7:20 code black and orange. 7:20 11-9. 7:20 smiles. Killer clowns smile. Little babies smile. Martians from outer space smile. Sometimes the sun smiles too. The head on first communion doll, falls off? Your head falls off. God abandons you? You abandon god? Your life is a mystery until you die? Mysteries are made till the day you die, or night. Hamburgers are not made from ham are they? Cow burgers anyone? Here is a cow. The cow ate the computer. You look into the cow’s eyes every day. You miss the cow when vacationing. Not the. Ice is either scraped off or you sit in the car while heats melts ice off outside. Be careful. Bad cop turned good, good cop turned around. Corruption and greed. Feed the population. Fear is unnecessary. Family is an obligation until you begin living. Heaven created hell. Hell is up. Down is sideways. Look behind and they come from the front. Look in front and you will see. A mirror. BE CAREFUL. Mirrors break and you see the truth. BREAK THE MIRROR. Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: captain planet (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 21st, 2004
6:41 pm	back in the day As each minute passes us by we each get older in different ways. Maturity, age, attitude, looks, thoughts, your whole self could be changed in just an instant, and in just an instant you can find one thing that brings you back to all the memories of you and your friends when we were so different and when really thought of, so young. In the form of pictures, stories or scars the flash backs can come at any time. Sometimes they can make you feel happy and you should keep the item which brings these memories close for those sad times and may help bring you out of your troublesome times or they can also bring back the depressing times and not make you feel to great in the present. For myself this time is a great thing. It goes back to a time when I had no worries. No people in my life I will ever regret meeting, and hope to keep in my life for a very long time. But it also lets me look at myself now and see where I have gone. Everyone should do this at times, just stop life. Take a day away from everything and analyze what they are doing and where they are going. How they have changed and if they have changed the way they wanted to before they had changed. Looking back at problems is not always a bad thing you just can't look back and regret, it will get you down. Just look at all the "shit" from the past and think it was just a lesson. Thats one topic for the day and that now you will know how to deal with it the rest of your life. Just a little strengthening lesson. keep the memories close just in case the present gets rough. memories are great healers. or strengtheners. Current Mood: horny Current Music: O F F (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 11th, 2004
9:22 pm	New York City If you go to New York City make sure you go to Queens and Brooklyn. I will live there at least once in my lifetime. You have nonstop resturaunts, any type of food you could want, they have. I had vietnamese food, very different from my normal mac n cheese and coffee cakes but none the less enjoyable. The 0-10 degree weather did not help much but it kept off mass amounts of people on the streets. My fathers brother lives in Manhattan a block away from central park in one of those apartment buildings where the back window is the lookout into many other windows. It was rather interesting, like live TV. hundred or more lit windows to look at but what caught my eye most was the three water tanks on top of buildings, neither the three at the same height and with the clear stary sky just kept my eye for a good ten minutes. My uncles apartment is very dim, candlelight with a beautiful soundsystem producing beautiful jazz to ease the mood even more. The huge window that allowed me to be entertained for a bit and right under that his 5,000 dollar bike. That night, we stayed in the Hotel Pennsylvania. Now if you have ever seen the Shining then I suggest you stay in this hotel. Its beautiful elderly feeling makes you wonder how many dead bodies has this building seen. Our first room was big, earthy colors and unmade. Olive green bed sheets rustic red chair and a maroon couch with a slit open coushin. We changed from that room. 1697 was our new room. With a view of the empire state building with the moon in the distance it made up for it, even though the walls had cracks in them and the TV remote was out of order. The bathroom was black and white tiles. The shower I dared not venture. I took a few pictures of the antique radio and furniture in the rooms. Before my slumber a casual walk to the chandelier lit lobby and back to see a lovely cockroach on the wall. Some may be grossed out by this dim lit, dirty, bug filled, old building but I fell in love. On our search for the right trolley we spent an approximate 3 hours total underground waiting, thus I got to hack with the ivory colored tile wall, dirty dirty ground, and my self. It was a good time indeed. I was wondering if I shouldn't get a cup from the trash and ask for money to sponsor my trip to the olympics. Who knows someone may believe me. If you dont have a life or dont like associating with people, move to new york. Sure theres tons of things to do with people and things to meet people but there are many things one can do by ones self. For example upon arrival in Brooklyn my uncle greeted us and we walked down the street 3 blocks to meet my aunt. Coming down the street was a three kings parade. The street we are on is the parade grounds weekly for anything from a ten person parade to a 100 float parade. It was quite humorous I said it was our welcoming parade. The interesting thing was the participants ranged from religous people to salsa dancing and salsa musical groups performing on floats. I couldn't help but laugh a few times due to the fact the police escorts at the beginning of the parade, equestrian style could not stop one of their horses from relieving itself and the whole parade was shifted over to the left in fear of the "cow shit" said a little African American boy. Driving to and from New York you do have plenty of time to think. I thought about many things. My future, my life, my family, my friends, the things I have, the goals I should conquer, and so on. You go to a place where everyones lives are so different yet they all had to work so hard to get to that spot you realize its time to get working. Even if one has a very small apartment in New York City you know they are hard workers and really want to be there, thus they know if you work hard enough you can get what you want. Theres always an opportunity in New York. On the way home I thought of my uncle, before we left he showed us some videos. He works on broadway now on Gypsy but before De La guarda and he was in some short films. He makes a great mobster, I am very proud. Some interesting ideas in these movies. One of these films was called the things we do. It goes through and the last line is, " the things we do for love " if you are interested I could explain it to you. But that train of thought led me immediately to my girlfriend. I wished she could have been there with me. I want to give her the world and if she was there it could have been a start. Even though she could not be there with me I brought a lil something back for her. I love being able to say that is my girlfriend, or talk about my girlfriend, or recieve gifts from my aunt in brooklyn for "you and your girlfriend" it makes me so happy people know what we are and what we have. My uncle and aunt are beautiful together. I didn't know if anyone could look better than them. Perfect location, wonderful lives, and true love found when least expected. I look at it now and smile cuz I know its just a foretelling for me. A beautiful life, a beautiful location, and an amazing wife. Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: grand theft auto 3 in backround (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, December 1st, 2003
10:50 pm	have you ever thought... what if the person who means so much to you in your life ever got cancer or some severe illness and had only a short time to live. How would you cope? could you? I just watched this movie about narcotics officers and how one of em lost his wife to cancer I believe and how every night when he got home he'd lie down with his head on her lap and she'd rub his head and sing to him. Sing him to sleep sometimes, even while she was dying she still did that for him. Through all her pain she still found the strength to please her husband. It's love. Granted it was a movie. The theory is still there. true love true sacrifice and true loss. what do you do after you lose someone who means so much. Are we just setting ourselves up for an innevitable fall. You marry and then eventually they die. You end up dying cuz you loved them so much. I think its worth it. If you can honestly say you love someone and can deal with them your whole life. Whats the point in worrying about the end. You might as well cherish the time you have together now, make it an amazing time. Prove to the world that you've found your perfect match and that you are extremely happy. Make everyone jealous and wish they had your happiness. Act as an idol. death is innevitable, but happiness is not. Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: the silence of noise (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 30th, 2003
9:03 pm	Learn to appreciate the radio Do you ever miss something a whole lot? Well take that feeling multiply it by 2 then by 1,000,000 and then by 1,000,000,000,000 and then you wont even have the feeling I have right now. Mexico has been determined as a positive. The aunt has said sure. This summer is gonna be like woah. Mexico I hope for a few weeks, we will see how it gets planned out. I figure we don’t need to go places every day just chillin in Mexico is good enough. Like every weekend do something and the other days walk around the city or watch the baby. Crazy tan, crazy times, crazy memories. With the most perfect person to share it all with. If you’ve ever been to Mexico, and I don’t just mean Cancun or Acapulco. You really learn to appreciate life and what you have. You can’t go a day without havin someone beg you for food or money. The houses are just shacks and if you’re lucky enough to have a house you have insane security and always are at risk of being killed or kidnapped. It’s a third world country but its value to me is worth more than my own home. The house my aunt has is beautiful. A pool, A yard, kitchen, living room, fireplace, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. With 2 outside for the pool. Huge walls for security and a 3-car driveway with a lil roof thingy. Also a guesthouse with its own garage kitchen bathroom and everything. And even its own garden! Every time I leave I immediately miss it more. I just think of all that I have on the flight back home flyin over all the shacks and smog covered cities. The people all laugh when I try to speak Spanish but while I was there for three weeks it really got ok. My aunt would send me to get the water and I would always be successful. This summer will be great. I will get to show the perfect girl, the most perfect place in the world. Except all the other times it wasn’t…perfect. It was great but it was always missing something. Someone and now that I’ve found her and she will be with me next time. It will be the best trip of my life. Current Mood: horny Current Music: ROARRRRR (6 Comments |Comment on this)