| i cant think of one!!! ahhhh!!!!!!! oh well. this is it now. |
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| 10:44pm 06/01/2004 |
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mood:  disappointed music: tv in background...my own voice. blah!
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okay thought i'd actually write something now. So it turns out that Ben doesn't really like me the way that i thought he did. he has a gf, but i thought that he did still want me. but i was more wrong on that. when he said "i love you" at the end of our convos, he didnt mean it in the way that i thought. he ment it as a friend, like cares about me and that. so yeah im just like fuck him, i dont need him. i dont even know why i even started liking him. now i regret calling him all those times. grrr. and they way he was on the phone too. like i would say something sort of sexyish type thing. and he would do this growl thing that sounded really cool, and i thought that he liked it, but maybe im wrong. he probably did, but cant do anything about it. oh well.
Pam is gonna talk to Dan for me. cuz after i told her about Ben she said something about Dan, and i was like "oh i forgot about him" so she said she'd tell him something for me.
heh. the first time i talked to Ben and was writting about Lifest. and he asked if he was gonna be written down in good regards. ha! well now he's not really gonna be. i dont care anymore. when i found out i cried the whole night and while i was talking to him about it. well heres some of the stuff that we said: the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: i have 1 the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: her name is Brittany the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: i'm certain i told you about her the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: and the half was a joke ¤£º§ê® ƒè†ü§13¤ asshole banana monkey chips on pumpernickle cheese bread with sex on the side...Savvy? says: okay ¤£º§ê® ƒè†ü§13¤ asshole banana monkey chips on pumpernickle cheese bread with sex on the side...Savvy? says: yea you did tell me about her the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: yeah the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: heh the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: i felt bad ¤£º§ê® ƒè†ü§13¤ asshole banana monkey chips on pumpernickle cheese bread with sex on the side...Savvy? says: why? ¤£º§ê® ƒè†ü§13¤ asshole banana monkey chips on pumpernickle cheese bread with sex on the side...Savvy? says: about what the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: because you've been talking about sex and stuff with me, and i KNEW i told you, but Seth said you didnt know, so i felt like i lead you on or something ¤£º§ê® ƒè†ü§13¤ asshole banana monkey chips on pumpernickle cheese bread with sex on the side...Savvy? says: you said something once. that you thought that she was gonna break up with you. and i didnt know what happend since then ¤£º§ê® ƒè†ü§13¤ asshole banana monkey chips on pumpernickle cheese bread with sex on the side...Savvy? says: one thing i dont get is that you are going out with her, then when we talk online you tell me you love me the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: i do love you the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: not necessarily like that the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: i just love you the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: i'll stop if you want me to... the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: i didnt think you'de mind ¤£º§ê® ƒè†ü§13¤ asshole banana monkey chips on pumpernickle cheese bread with sex on the side...Savvy? says: it confused me after i found out... ¤£º§ê® ƒè†ü§13¤ asshole banana monkey chips on pumpernickle cheese bread with sex on the side...Savvy? says: so you dont want to do anything with me. like several months ago you said something about wanting me, but didnt want to deal with the distance and stuff like that the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: i..do.... but i wont cheat.... i wasnt planning on having sex with you while i was down there... i didnt want to hurt your feelings or anything... i dunno the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: i figured i would cross that bridge when i came to it ¤£º§ê® ƒè†ü§13¤ asshole banana monkey chips on pumpernickle cheese bread with sex on the side...Savvy? says: so that kiss you owe me from the first time we talked, whats going on with that the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: well... i guess it would work... since it's owed...er... yeah the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: up to you the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: but yeah, my dad wants the computer ¤£º§ê® ƒè†ü§13¤ asshole banana monkey chips on pumpernickle cheese bread with sex on the side...Savvy? says: i should get going too the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: i love you though... dont forget that the rest of my time, will soon rott away, but screw with whats left, and a price will be paid says: sleep sweet.. ¤£º§ê® ƒè†ü§13¤ asshole banana monkey chips on pumpernickle cheese bread with sex on the side...Savvy? says: i could try. good night ----------------------------------------------------------------------
yeah i dont get it. i was sending him pictures of me before that. and he's all like pretty, and send me more and that. then i hear this? and his friend Mark wants to meet me before he goes to BASIC (i think thats how its spelled) and im like okay... what does he say about me up there, i wonder. and when he does talk about me, he calls me by Fetus to everyone. i was thinking they come down for Winter Formal. but im like i dont care anymore. i think im gonna take Grace with me now. if they come, they come. dont know if im gonna send the slip things up there. dont know if i want to waste stamps, paper, and evelopes on them anymore. im not gonna take that trip up there that i was planning on doing for Spring Break. think i'll do something more worth while with my friends and that. since i didnt get to do that last year, went down to flordia instead.
people say im crazy for cutting my hair then dying it black. other people like it and say its cute. wore my hair up in pigtails today. i think me and Kayla kinda look the same with our hair up. her hair might be just a little bit longer than mine, but its weird. i have the things down in the front though wheni do my hair, cuz i dont like all my hair back all the time, i think its looks weird and not me. and she pulls it all back. i miss my long hair though. i think it looked better with the pigtails. i could do the half in bun half now in better, now it would just look weird and messed up...
well i should be going. oh! one last thing! the cell phone my sis got me. i got it reactivated! yay. costed $15 dollar. then paid like $47.20 for the whole thing. 15 for the reactive and 30 for minutes. so yay. i can work my phone now. muahahaha. didnt know you could pick the number either. Fetus wouldnt work for any of them. they looked something with my bday and couldnt find nothing. i was thinking, then it hit me...13!!! so now the last 2 digits are 13. yay. its cool. well now i go, need the sleep that i probably wont get until like midnight. i'll lay awake and try to sleep, have my eyes closed and all that. but i wont fall asleep till later. i hate that. well night everyone! |
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