Wednesday, March 30th, 2005

Time	Event
12:39a	yeah i know its been ages. But alas i am here once again. I really have no clue what i have written here in the past, but for some odd reason i feel like i need to make my self known tonight. I cant sleep...oh well. So im here in boston, one of the great cities in the United States, yet alone the world...yet I feel so damn alone. I miss having friends I could call at all hours of the night whether it be because i was freaking out over something, or just simply to talk. Last year, sitting outside of west with Ben and Linsey...at 3:30 in the morning just because i couldnt sleep, ya know those nights when you toss and turn and your damn brain just wont turn off and all of a sudden it feels like the weight of the world is falling on you. All i had to do was go over to my computer, take down my away message and all of a sudden lins ims me shocked that I was still awake. Within a few minutes I am outside infront of my dorm with ben and lins, shaking while I spilled everything that i was worrying about upon attentive ears...after i finished we sat for a bit longer chain smoking talking about how we wish things were different, what we wanted to do. Its nights like that I felt as if someone cared, and i felt that they knew that I would do the same for them...and on many an occation I did. Then everone went on their own ways...and i was left behind. Northeastern is a great school and I am having an ok time here. But i just miss the closeness of my friends at UNE and home. I guess part of this is stemmed from going home for the weekend. I had a really nice time...saw skull at quinnipiac, but that is a story for a different time. I went to the beach and just sat and staired at the sky, then i saw jana and shannon...gosh how I miss those girls. and now my brain is starting to slow down as i realize that I have to be up for an 8 am Discrete Structures class...ahhhh how i hate math...oh well we all make mistakes. I really just want to be back on wes's boat, in his back barn with the banana crew, shooting the shit, daydreaming, playing with the bonfire, sleeping in my car........ ohh..under the weight of life, things seem brighter on the other side..... Current Mood: nostalgic Current Music: Paul Simon ~ America (Comment on this)
9:08p	ehh randomnes So I guess that I really should start using this damn thing. I guess it might be a good outlet or something. So if you are reading this, and you /actually/ know who I am....please realize that this is an outlet, take it all with a grain of salt. But for now a survey type thing...later some more thought LAYER ONE: full name: Alan Jeffery Gordon (I guess my English name should be good enough....) birth date: July 8, 1985 birthplace: Bridgeport, CT current location: Boston, MA eye color: Blue hair color: reddish-brown height: 5' 10" righty or lefty: lefty...lets hear it for being possessed by the devil LAYER TWO: 0your heritage: Russian, Jewish...so basically nothing in the end. (its a long story and requires a few lessons in Russian and Jewish history...damn Diaspora) your perfect pizza: veggie? goal you'd like to achieve: save the world LAYER THREE: your most overused phrase on AIM: umm does '...' count? your thoughts first waking up: wow that was f***** up...or wow I actually slept, weird your bedtime: if I do sleep, 2 or 3 am your most missed memory: oh so many, hiking in new Mexico, bonfires and parties in the woods at Wes’s house, nights on the beach at UNE half drunk smoking cloves watching the ocean...I don’t know, so many happy times have been had LAYER FOUR: McDonald’s or burger king: eww? single or group dates: well for serious dates single...group things are really impersonal when I comes to the whole dating thing chocolate or vanilla: vanilla cappuccino or coffee: espresso?. or European style coffee LAYER FIVE: smoke: yeah, sometimes...not regularly anymore. and weed makes me paranoid... cuss: on occation..usually in Yiddish sing: yeah I like to, I need to practice more though take a shower everyday: yeah I guess...we all have those moments when we don’t...don’t we? have a crush: yeah...and we are going to leave it at that do you think you've been in love: don’t get me started... do you want to go to college?: Yeah I like it here so far...what kind of a biased question is that?? like high school: I like my friends from high school...but Fairfield can do dirty things to your mom... want to get married: I guess at some point, if the right person comes along. I’m in no rush believe in yourself: ehh sometimes think you're attractive: not really think you're a health freak: I used to be...and I just don’t really care anymore...I like to be healthy...but as my great grandmother used to say...everything in moderation get along with your parent(s): yeah, most of the time...they are good people. A little nuts but all in all good like thunderstorms: yeah, esp. when they are snow storms play an instrument: guitar LAYER SIX: In the past month... drank alcohol: Yes. smoked: yeah...damn cloves...tasty little fuckers::hangs head:: done a drug: well what is a drug? hard drugs (ex. coke, crack, heroin)? no way.. made out: yes gone on a date: umm...sort of gone to the mall?: prudential center count? eaten an entire box of Oreos: nope. eaten sushi: yep...mmm been dumped: No. gone skating: no made homemade cookies: nope gone skinny dipping: no dyed your hair: surprisingly no!...that will change shortly stolen anything: ehh i've never been able to bring myself to do that...stupid karma LAYER SEVEN: Ever... played a game that required removal of clothing: yes been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes. been caught "doing something": something. no, someone? now that’s a different story been called a tease: hmm.. gotten beaten up: no shoplifted: Nope changed who you were to fit in: nope LAYER EIGHT: age you hope to be married: I don’t know numbers and names of children: 42 Describe your dream wedding: umm..i don’t know how do you want to die: climbing the side of or falling off of something impressive... where you want to go to college: well im at Northeastern, I wanted to do go to UC Berkeley...but my dad wasn’t thrilled with me on the other side of the country what do you want to be when you grow up: Please, someone give me ideas...superhero? what country would you most like to visit: the most?? oh geesh..well right now Russia or Israel...maybe India.. LAYER NINE: In a boy/girl.. best eye color? blue or green best hair color? blue short or long hair: short or really long height: normal best weight: ehh it varies...I guess proportional best articles of clothing: t-shirt and shorts best first date location: Acadia best first kiss location: no idea... Current Mood: lonely Current Music: Keane -- Bedshaped (Comment on this)

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