total crap   
09:25am 25/11/2002
mood: crappy
yesterday ryan called me and told me he had a bong hit for me.... i love winning. i decided to just rent a room cause i'm sick of being at my mom's. i told bryan, but he flipped out and we got in a fight and such.

the first thing today that happened was while i was talking to shelley on the phone, she got me out of bed and i sleep naked, and theres a knock on the door. my mom tells me to put something on.. i ask who it is and suprise! its bryan. i tell her to let him in she tells me to put clothes on. i had to put something on in front of my boyfriend, who i have lived with for over a year and has seen me naked more than you see eminem on MTV. stupidest thing ever

bry was all pissed off at everything today and i wanted to go home cause i can't love on him when hes angry. i stayed with him, but i stayed all distant from him while we were walking to take bong hits. he told me he felt like i was detaching myself from him and was getting worried. later we come back to my mom's house and he notices my notebook journal is out and he wants to read it..... i really, really don't want him to, but somehow he persuades me to let him feast his eyes on something no one elses have. anyways he found out that i was detaching myself from him and he got all offened when i mentioned that there are such things as attractive guys other than him. hey! its not my fault he doesn't check out other chicks.... that was his own choice.

anyways... other than that, i'm growing a plant and my teeth hurt
a pretty little STD called HPV   
09:53am 21/11/2002
  wel, well, well.... what a day. i skipped my community service and found a new place to work. i gotta go to the boonies and take multiple busses to get there. i have no idea why i don't get my license, my mom told me she'd buy me a car (not a new one or anything) but i have absolutely no desire to get mine. sure it'll get you further places faster, but in the long run it seems to become nothing but trouble.

i beat up one of my good friends today. i didn't plummel him or anything.... just made my point. i am a non smoker (of cigarettes) and despise the little fuckers. i had his lighter and wouldn't give it to him cause he was gunna smoke. later he came over to my house to take bong rips. now, i had been smoking him out all day long... then he comes over to use my bong and doesn't even offer me one. now for those who aren't into the same recreational activities as i am; it is proper ettiqute to smoke out the person who is letting you use their piece... it is even more important to smoke out the person who saves you when you don't have any of your own. now him being greedy i refused to give him his lighter until he gave me a bong hit. well.... he didn't and he grabbed my case with everything i hold dear including his lighter and so i unleashed on him. i gave him body shots until he fell back on the chair then i started to punch the back of his shoulders and the back of the head. he freaked out, took his bong hit out of the bong and finally left.

ok.... so one person is interested in my STD. i have HPV (Human Paplova Virus) otherwise known as genital warts. 8 OUT OF 10 PEOPLE ARE INFECTED, i can't even stress how IMPORTANT IT IS TO USE PROTECTION. i, myself am not a big rubber fan, but its hellava lot better than ending up with an STD. think of how many other STDs there are and the stats on those.... it seems like nobody is clean anymore. HPV has no known effects to men besides ugly little warts all over the penis, thighs, and in some cases the abdomen. in women you somtimes can't see the warts..... most women aren't even aware of it. HPV causes cervicle cancer and weakens immune system and liver in bad cases.
i was one of those bad cases. one day i noticed these weird tiny bumps around the opening of my vagina, down towards my taint (the skin between a pussy and an asshole). bryan and i went to the gyno and he checked me out and told me i have 2 on my lower wall (inside) and one big one right next to my cervix. they gave me a medication called Adalara to treat my outer warts and planned to laser the inside ones off. the cream (adalara) worked really good, but my inside ones were gone my last appointment. bryan didn't have them for about a month, but then they popped up eventually. it is normal for men to show symptoms after the female does because a females cells are constantly turning over and regenerating (its a lovely thing called the rag). the outbreaks will go away anywhere from 6 months to 12 months............ but remember: THIS IS A VIRUS, IT WILL BE IN YOUR SYSTEM FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.... is that really a commitment you're ready for?
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the first hit   
01:15am 20/11/2002
  this is my first entry... it won't be great until i get a hang of this thing. i don't normally deal with these newfangled contraptions (computers) but i'm stuck at my lame- ass mom's house with nothing to do. i can barely talk to my mom. i feel like i'm 5 levels higher than my mom.... talking with her is like trying to hold a conversation with a wall.
bryan (my love) and i are homeless to be technical. we're not sleeping in the streets or anything, but we don't have an actual place to call home. i have to stay with my mom and he with his dad. we don't have a mode of transportation so it makes it really hard for us to see each other. i hate being separated from him, i want to cry everytime i realize hes not gunna be around and not gunna be home right after work and even worse, hes not there in bed at night. i have been living with bryan our whole relationship.... let me give you background about me and bryan so my life won't be so confusing.
bryan's little sister is my best friend. one year bryan was looking through shelley's yearbook, pointed me out and said i was the only cute girl in her school. two years later i really needed to live away from my mom so i moved in with shells. coincidentally bryan just got dumped by his girlfriend in San Luis Obisbo and needed to come back to the bay area. he moved in with his friend jorge, who was dating bryan and shelley's mom at the time. so i moved in and then it started.
the first time i met bryan i told his shells that one day he'd be mine..... and she didn't believe me. we've been together for a year and a couple of months and we show no sign of slowing down. our relationship started out unstable, but now, i haven't seen a relationship as solid as ours. it seems like we were made for eachother. our bodies fit together perfectly when we're laying down, i'm everything he ever wanted in a girl, hes all i've ever wanted.... my pussy is even just as deep as his cock.
oooman...... i didn't even realize how much of nothing in peticular i have to talk about..... stay tuned til next time when i can tell you alllllll about my exciting day at community service.... i'll also talk about my STD..... heres someting scary about my disease... 8 out of 10 people are infected and most don't even know it.
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