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Blackened_Jagged_Heart

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Absolut Fabulousness!!! [22 Jun 2008|08:11pm]
[ mood | impressed ]
[ music | Some tractor bullshit song that is funny as shit ]

I need to buy a new pen yeah, just in case I want to write, and have someone read what I write. I want their opinions on things, life, everything, how about those sidewalks, and what is up with all the road construction, that only comes out when it's really, hot outside? Hmmm? Well, I might just type about random nothings. What I am best at. If I could practice at the puzzle, the hidden pictures, inside of the art, and work on that again, it's been forever history presently, that I have done so, which amazes me that nobody has ever figured that out. To do that, in such a way, that baffles the mind, but when found, is like the treasure of fabulousness! Zoom! Zoom! Zoom! My most favoritest part. Yes, the Grinch, inside of Santa's eye. Beholds the truth within, the words of honey, and moss.

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[19 May 2008|02:44pm]
[ mood | loved ]
[ music | The Red Jumpsuit Aparatus ]

Today the subject is Bendizzle.

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TOO MUCH GARLIC! [21 Feb 2006|07:10pm]
I decide to make something, and put WAY too much garlic in it! *breathes fire* hahahaha I'm such a dork...I couldn't go to the movies tonight. I hope Raven is having fun, and I miss him. *smiles*
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Raven [10 Feb 2006|10:45pm]
[ mood | restless ]
[ music | Tetris theme song ? heh. ]

I have talked to Raven about everything...It would always make me feel better when I would get your opinion before I made any choices in my life. I Value your thoughts, and I always wonder,"What would Raven do?". Now you are the topic of my journal...not that you were not before...if you look at Dr. Ziggy Ruth, Dead Journal, Myspace, you are everywhere. In my heart you are there. Always. I can't live if you aren't happy. Everything I think, and do, EVERYTHING, I think about you while and when I am doing it. You consume my every thought, and I want you to be happy. For reals.

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[14 Aug 2004|11:03am]
[ mood | worried ]

Emperor 0f Souls: hi
BlckR0seImm0rtal: I'm sorry I didn't ignore you
Emperor 0f Souls: what were you doing?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: That movie was on that you've told me to watch forever ago
BlckR0seImm0rtal:
Emperor 0f Souls: oh ok
BlckR0seImm0rtal: Tell me everything are you okay?
Emperor 0f Souls: what movie? ::forgot::
BlckR0seImm0rtal: euro trip
Emperor 0f Souls: oh ok
BlckR0seImm0rtal: or whatever it's called
Emperor 0f Souls: did you like it?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: yeah it's still on, the part about the vatican thingy jigger
BlckR0seImm0rtal: what are you doing?
Emperor 0f Souls: oh ok
Emperor 0f Souls: i was doing nothing
BlckR0seImm0rtal: are you happy?
Emperor 0f Souls: you need to tell me everything
BlckR0seImm0rtal: ok
Emperor 0f Souls: be honest
BlckR0seImm0rtal: it looks like the earth is going to explode outside
BlckR0seImm0rtal: be honest?
Emperor 0f Souls: i am gonna ask you this question, give me an honest reply
BlckR0seImm0rtal: o_0
BlckR0seImm0rtal: okay ask away
Emperor 0f Souls: do you love me?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: do you not want me to love you?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: o_0
Emperor 0f Souls: not a question with a question
BlckR0seImm0rtal: maybe I freak you out
Emperor 0f Souls: give me an honest reply
Emperor 0f Souls: tell me the truth
BlckR0seImm0rtal: and make you nervous
BlckR0seImm0rtal: do I?
Emperor 0f Souls: no
BlckR0seImm0rtal: tell me what you're thinking
Emperor 0f Souls: do you love m?
Emperor 0f Souls: me*
BlckR0seImm0rtal: yes silly
Emperor 0f Souls: is there anybody else in your life right now?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: are you mad?
Emperor 0f Souls: tell me the truth
BlckR0seImm0rtal: my job
BlckR0seImm0rtal: i dont love anybody else
BlckR0seImm0rtal: why are you asking?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: is something wrong?
Emperor 0f Souls: i dunno
Emperor 0f Souls: i thought
Emperor 0f Souls: that
Emperor 0f Souls: you don't love me now
BlckR0seImm0rtal: why would you think that?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: are you being moody?
Emperor 0f Souls: and you might have met someone else better than me
Emperor 0f Souls: have you met someone better than me?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: that's a bunch of shit thinking
BlckR0seImm0rtal: there is nobody better than you
BlckR0seImm0rtal: why are you tripping?
Emperor 0f Souls: i dont know
BlckR0seImm0rtal: did I do something wrong?
Emperor 0f Souls: nope
Emperor 0f Souls: maybe I did something wrong that made you hate me
BlckR0seImm0rtal: but I dont hate you
BlckR0seImm0rtal: do you want me to hate you or something?
Emperor 0f Souls: what happened on apr 23rd?
Emperor 0f Souls: two years ago?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: I know you're just busy, and you get bitchy when you are tired or something
Emperor 0f Souls: tell me the truth
BlckR0seImm0rtal: ok
BlckR0seImm0rtal: are you sure two years ago?
Emperor 0f Souls: i am not sure
BlckR0seImm0rtal: think
Emperor 0f Souls: what about that day?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: *thinks*
BlckR0seImm0rtal: that day I was really nervous
Emperor 0f Souls: what happened on that day?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: wait are you freaking out?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: QUIT FREAKING OUT
Emperor 0f Souls: no, you need to tell me everything
BlckR0seImm0rtal: you're freaking me out and I had a bad night
BlckR0seImm0rtal: I got wax stuck on someones eyebrow and they woke up with their face and arm was all coloured red
BlckR0seImm0rtal: we dont need no education
BlckR0seImm0rtal: pink floyd is on
Emperor 0f Souls: tell me the truth
BlckR0seImm0rtal: I have told you the truth
Emperor 0f Souls: your life was gonna change forever?
Emperor 0f Souls: what happened that day?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: yeah I talked to you about things in my life for years now
BlckR0seImm0rtal: even back then
BlckR0seImm0rtal: you were there and talked to me about it forever remember?
Emperor 0f Souls: i was always there for you
Emperor 0f Souls: and i am always gonna be there for you
BlckR0seImm0rtal: remember I met Danny...
BlckR0seImm0rtal: o_0
BlckR0seImm0rtal: You forgot?
Emperor 0f Souls: no
Emperor 0f Souls: i forgot about the date
BlckR0seImm0rtal: What's with the date?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: I remembered the date cuz I had to leave work and talk to my friend before I left and I literally made myself almost sick
BlckR0seImm0rtal: that made me nervous
BlckR0seImm0rtal: do you want me to go?
Emperor 0f Souls: no
Emperor 0f Souls: i want you to tell me everything
BlckR0seImm0rtal: ok
Emperor 0f Souls: do you love me for reals?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: I haven't talked to Danny in forever because he forgot about me, and stuff
Emperor 0f Souls: i dont care what happened years ago
BlckR0seImm0rtal: and
BlckR0seImm0rtal: where'd you find that date?
Emperor 0f Souls: do you still miss them?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: what the hell are you doing?
Emperor 0f Souls: i am triping
Emperor 0f Souls: tripping*
BlckR0seImm0rtal: why are you tripping?
Emperor 0f Souls: i dont know
Emperor 0f Souls: do you still miss them?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: I miss the spontaneous who the hell are you chats, or fucking with people and stuff, why do you ask all this tell me the truth
BlckR0seImm0rtal:
Emperor 0f Souls: i thought you loved me more than everything
BlckR0seImm0rtal: I do
BlckR0seImm0rtal: are you reading a journal?
Emperor 0f Souls: I hope you are telling the truth
BlckR0seImm0rtal: which one are you reading?
Emperor 0f Souls: i am reading your mind
Emperor 0f Souls: ok
BlckR0seImm0rtal: what is my mind saying?
Emperor 0f Souls: i read the bloodydove
Emperor 0f Souls: and i read your last entry
BlckR0seImm0rtal: what did the last entry say?
Emperor 0f Souls: it said something about that date
Emperor 0f Souls: and how your life was gonna change
Emperor 0f Souls: and you said I miss you or something
BlckR0seImm0rtal: the last entry?
Emperor 0f Souls: yup
BlckR0seImm0rtal: what was the date on the last entry?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: what's the link ?
Emperor 0f Souls: 04/04/04
Emperor 0f Souls: http://www.blurty.com/users/thebl00dydove/
BlckR0seImm0rtal: haha I couldn't leave those shoes behind that was funny
BlckR0seImm0rtal: I had to go back and get them shoes
Emperor 0f Souls: which shoes?
BlckR0seImm0rtal: my black converse
Emperor 0f Souls: oh ok
Emperor 0f Souls: what are you thinking
BlckR0seImm0rtal: I was reading this
BlckR0seImm0rtal: [24 Nov 2003|10:57am]
[ mood | sad ]

I've been depressed I guess, and didn't even realize I was on my way here. To lay down, and listen for my last breath. People have been so demanding of me, I miss Raven. When my world feels like I don't want to be a part of it anymore, I would rather die. He appears and makes it all better..I love you.



Emperor 0f Souls: I love you more
Emperor 0f Souls: I am so attached to you now, theres no looking back
BlckR0seImm0rtal: I haven't even read this journal in forever
Emperor 0f Souls: I read it today cuz I was missing you
BlckR0seImm0rtal: we should put this whole conversation in this journal
BlckR0seImm0rtal:
BlckR0seImm0rtal: ok give me the whole convo from the start
Emperor 0f Souls: ah, then I would trip everytime I read this
Emperor 0f Souls: lol
BlckR0seImm0rtal: no
BlckR0seImm0rtal: you would realize how much I love YOU
BlckR0seImm0rtal:
Emperor 0f Souls: I hope you love me like I love you
Emperor 0f Souls: I just tripped out thinking about this whole thing
BlckR0seImm0rtal: You know we have the same brain
Emperor 0f Souls: I am sorry
BlckR0seImm0rtal: never be sorry

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[04 Apr 2004|11:29pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]
[ music | Blink182-ImissY0U! ]

I was just sitting here thinking. I can't believe how it's been almost 2 years. On April 23rd. At 4:05 p.m. I had my brand new black converse. And my life was about to change forever...

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[04 Jan 2004|10:36pm]
[ mood | thankful ]
[ music | nothing ]

My birthday was good when I got messages from Bhavin. And when my dad called me. That was the first time in so long. And when Bhavin isn't online, I get sad. Isn't that weird? I mean I miss him so fucking much. He just makes me smile. Maybe I get so sad when nothing is going on and I'm sober...hmm who knows. But other than that. I love you~!

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GRUMPY BEAR! [28 Dec 2003|12:32am]
[ mood | grumpy ]
[ music | GRUMPY BEAR! ]

It's freezing today. I woke up and there was snow all over the ground. I just kept putting clothes on until I was warm enough to walk outside and make it to the mall. heh, two dresses and jackets later...so yeah, we were short handed today, but it was fun. I bought Jared a 5 pack of absolut vodka/regular/mandarin/peppar/citron/vanilia. I tricked him at work by asking him,"does everyone drink in here, or is there people who don't drink." and he replied that he drinks like a fish, so I knew that was the right present to get him for the store meeting thingy. *hopefully*I'll find out sunday night. On another note, my dad's been trying to call me I guess...haven't talked to him in forever. I don't know what we're going to be able to say..without there just being silence. Well, anyways. I smoked the house up again. Firealarms galore. Yes I'm good. heh. Well, since there's nothing else to do, and I am becoming totally stupid online. I should just go crash. I mean what else would there be to do that I haven't already done. BEFORE. So um yeah. I seem very grouchy today it seems. And yeah, I might be, but I am dealing with it. And everything is going to be fine. *smiles* If I have any friends left...=\

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[24 Dec 2003|11:07pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

You know, I feel like shit alot of the times, because I was trying to work so hard to get caught up on everything, but money, work, nothing is as important as Bhavin to me. I love you and would be so heartbroken if I ever did anything to hurt you or make you feel unimportant...I wish you would always remember how much you are in my heart and soul, and that I love you tremendously forever~! I would die without you.

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[17 Dec 2003|09:02pm]
DivineSalvati0n: ok, this is what I thought:
you were married and have kids? but I would STILL LOVE YOU. you are old, maybe 40 something? or maybe you are too young 15 something? Maybe you are very very skinny almost bones, or you are fat. Maybe everybody thinks that you are ugly.

I WOULD STILL LOVE YOU AND I WOULD NOT CHANGE MY MIND EVEN IF ANY OF THE THINGS THAT I'VE SAID ABOVE IF TRUE









All the girls in the whole wide world? And you choose me? You are so special, and perfect and wonderful, and words that I can't even say, and you are so precious. I love you~! I hope I never ever let you down. You are just amazing. Always and forever. You , god that's all I can say, is God. *headbutts you* YOU'RE FUCKING EVERYTHING PERFECT!
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[24 Nov 2003|08:29pm]
[ mood | loved ]
[ music | Kittie-In Winter ]

God I love Bhavin so fucking much. He makes me smile when by all means I should be dead, but he shows me how things are beautiful through his eyes, and I love him. FOREVER~!

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[24 Nov 2003|10:57am]
[ mood | sad ]

I've been depressed I guess, and didn't even realize I was on my way here. To lay down, and listen for my last breath. People have been so demanding of me, I miss Raven. When my world feels like I don't want to be a part of it anymore, I would rather die. He appears and makes it all better..I love you.

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[06 Nov 2003|08:10am]
*smashes my head on the table*
*CAN'T*
*QUIT*
*THINKING*
*ABOUT*
*HIM*
I can't believe the job i'm getting, with REDKEN IS IN NEW YORK!!!
well the main one, I will be able to travel...o_0
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[06 Nov 2003|08:00am]
[ mood | thankful ]

Raven is the most best thing ever. Everyone I know usually stops when they get to the massive amount of cement they find, and for some odd reason...How the fuck did that happen? o_0 I love him. He always makes me smile even when he doesn't know he is. He doesn't even have to be there and he makes me smile. heh. That might have sounded stupid but oh well. He is what is a word that means...important? special? everything? wonderful? awesome? I love him? all in one word? I don't know...I am just happy I got to know him.

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[12 Oct 2003|11:15pm]
[ mood | chipper ]
[ music | DMB-THE STONE!!! ]

Today I got caught at the mall, and then I realized I was thinking about the time, and I wanted to so badly talk to Mistah Raven...but then I ended up talking to Jason about his new job, and how he's going to cut my hair for me tomorrow, but then I still wanted to talk to Raven, but he is not online*is sad* I miss him! I wish he'd come online! I'm in the mood to kick some ass! And he's my partner to do so.*wink*

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[09 Oct 2003|01:58am]
[ mood | thoughtful ]
[ music | I LOVE YOU ]

Mistah Raven has been the one from the start, he makes me think about thing, I never thought about ever, and omg he is just the best person ever ! and I wanna say omg i'm drunk, but before i was drunk, i said i loved him, cuz he's the bestestest.!

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[09 Oct 2003|01:51am]
I love you.
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[26 Aug 2003|01:24am]
[ mood | depressed ]

Tonight I just hate feeling like this. I love my friend. I think too much. I'm online too much. I just feel totally retarded. Maybe I am. Why do I always do this to myself? I should just quit coming online. I should be more withdrawn. Yes...Yes I should.

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[31 Jul 2003|06:37pm]
Yes I went and decided to make this "Friends Only" Comment if you want to be added
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