Matt's Blurty
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Thursday, June 17th, 2004

    Time Event
    I really liked this, but there wasn't a way to link directly to it, so I'm copying and pasting. If you would like to go to the site that I got it from, its I recommend checking it out, this kid is funny, and I like his writing.

    Dear Anne,

    Get away from me. Just stay away. Forget my name. Forget my face. Forget anything you've ever know about me. I'm not the man you called every night. I'm not the man who would hold you for forever. I'm not the man who wrote those words you cherished.

    I'm not the man you used to love.

    I'm not the man I used to be. Please don't ask me for an explanation. You won't like what I have to tell you.

    Just pretend I was never here. I never sat next to you in Calculus. I wasn't your date to the prom. You didn't fall asleep in my arms. Cut me out of your memories. Cut me out of your life. Burn the letters. Destroy the gifts. Sell the necklace.

    I won't be in school on Monday. My house will be empty. My car will be at the bottom of Rose Valley. Any trace of me will be eradicated, extinct. For all intensive purposes, I will never have existed, except in your eyes, in your mind.

    I don't want you to have to try and remember a man that never was.

    Let the rumors spread. Don't try and contradict them. I'm not worth defending. In this town, people feel safe if their fears are explained away by a rumor or two. Let it happen. Let them live in peace.

    Let yourself live in peace.

    By the end of the year I'll be a nobody. A phantom. My name will turn into Albert or Alex. The stories will change. My life will fall into the cracks. I will be that guy who used to do that thing.

    What ever happened to him?

    Don't answer the question, beautiful.

    If it takes you hating me to forget me, then please, hate me. Hate everything we were. Hate everything we ever did. Badmouth me to your friends. Turn to a new man. Make him your own. Let him help you forget about me.

    I'm not worth your memory.

    I'm sorry I can't offer an explanation to you. The one thing you deserve, the one thing I'd love to give you, I can't. I'm sorry.

    I'm sorry.

    Oh God I'm sorry.

    I never thought it would lead to this. I never thought I'd be staring at my possessions in boxes. My entire life is in brown boxes, ready to disappear into nothing. My life is made up of my worldly possessions. It's sad, really.

    It shouldn't be this easy to completely disappear. Thankfully, for your sake, it is.

    I don't know where I'm going; all I know is that I have to leave you. I have to leave everyone. No one deserves what I'm about to do. You don't deserve to know anything about it.

    I never thought our last time together was going to be our last time… together.

    Tell your little brother I went away for a while. Tell him I'm sorry for missing football. Have John take him instead. John loves that kid.

    If there is every anything you need, ask John. He knows about this, I've already talked to him. He's promised me that he will take care of you.

    And yes, you do need taken care of. Sometimes even the toughest stones crack, beautiful. Don't try and deal with this by yourself. Don't pull your tough girl routine. John is a phone call away. Let him help you.

    Don't torture him for answers; he doesn't know any more than you do.

    No one does.

    When you're done reading this, get my box out from under your bed. Burn it. Burn everything that is inside of it. All our photos, our love notes, our poetry.

    Burn it all.

    Destroy anything that reminds you of me. My clothes you wear to bed. The books you pretended to like. The movie stubs.

    Let me fade away in flames.

    For your safety and for mine, please, please do this for me. It's the last thing I have to ask from you. As the man who loved you more than life itself, who held you when you were weak, who made you smile when no one else could.

    As terrible as it sounds, please… please forget about me.


    I Love you Anne, and I'm sorry.

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