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Thursday, June 3rd, 2004
5:57 pm - hola
you know what hurts strangling oneself never attempt well iam out.

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Sunday, May 23rd, 2004
9:04 pm
Take that.

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Thursday, May 20th, 2004
6:32 pm - and their was nothing no sound no tears no scream just fears..
Hello journal,
iv given you no words absloutly nothing but you give me nothing in retun,why? we have a writing assigment to do a reflective piece on like everyhting since you were 5 and in my head iam writing out this book this novel but than as iam walking down the stairs that in which i trip and fly down iam thinking i will not mention s-i what about HIM? do i say anything about this?wtf do i say will i censor and now this entrie assigment blowe hugely,sigh.I feel lazy,useless,hopeless will this feeling ever leave me alone? i bet not.ugh so last night the werdest thing happened as iam lyeing their to sleep its pitch black the stars on my ceeling done shine dont glow and its pitch black and iam scared i dont know why but this scares me even more the dark i live in i luv it and now iam crying i feel like this big ball of nerves and just aggervation and i cry over the stupidest stuff i come home and lye in bed why do anything else,serouisly. once more me and jessica arent talking and quite really this bothers me. today i spend the afternon lyeing in bed cyring and praying ill suffocate the pillow will smuther me and ill die just be dead,death to come and kiss me take my wrist,NOTHING! oh well.everyone keeps calling me a Russian Jew from social studies at the part when cazsr were killing russian jews and so everyone is poking me calling me a jew for my last name is it my fault my feather was a fucking polish! and after art class everyone poking and iam yellling Iam FUCKING CATHLOIC! agh IAM NOTHING! AH KILL ME!. so our school passed this thing to go to another hs but its by senority and iam lowest ont he totem poll and i ask our princepal a SIMPLE innocent question i ask; on the paper it said if it was a draw itd be a lottery will that be open to the public or behind closed doors? and fucking freaks out on me hell no,not today bucko ivbeen pulled and pushed and theirs no way he is going to ignore my question and he does and i keep saying why cant you answer the question? are you hiding something? ...today was not to be good.its just one of those days were i lye in bed which iv been doing for awhile just sitting here,fuck it

current mood: numb

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Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
5:09 pm
todAy I mApp*ed ouT the PerFeCt g*F buT ShE*d nEveR waNt mE =(
okAY chEck iT out!;
like the type i read about in the books,they type that can take a rag and banage your wrist, the kind that sites with you when your a huge ass mess and you*r crying and shaking and scream*ing becauSe everYone think*s you*r nut*s or the kinD tha luvs you though you*re broken and thinking of this makes me tear evenmore cause i know no one would luv me anyway and its just so aggervating and i refuse to leave my bed iam usless iam going to saty usless on this bed and be lazy and tired and upset to lazy to commit suicide to just blah..anyway....so fuck it.

current mood: stressed
current music: Blink 182-someone out their

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Monday, May 17th, 2004
8:39 pm
toDay*z I brok*e my BracLet! ofF causE i thou*ht it wAz a SnakE so its BroKEN*eD,dAmN.JunE 8Th I sKipp SKewl foR siX flAg*s.WeLL tHeSE DayMEre*s are KillIN*S Me!
luv LEnA

current mood: aggravated
current music: raDio aT @oL

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