Tesco Mutherfuckin Vee's Blurty

Special
I'm still feeling under the weather and it's beginning to piss me off. I know why I'm still shanked. I have this tendency to go apeshit on the day during an illness when I feel well. I'll wake up feeling grand, get a couple of cups of coffe in my ass, and mistakingly think that my spry steps are indicative of a healthy state. Of course, the "healthy" feeling is just an ebb in my lathargy and symptoms, not to be mistaken for the end of my illness. As soon as I begin to whoop it up, the shit hits the fan and I realize that I've gone too far. Not long after my dumb ass gets all physical and reckless will the relapse set in for the kill.
Saturday I felt "one hundred percent better, yo! Yeaaaah!" and decided that mowing/edging the yard and cleaning the pool would be a good idea. Of course, with the Sun wearing me down, I had a misjudged feeling of weakness. I thought I was all good and just tired from lawncare and Sun exposure. So did I go inside, take a shower and lie down? No. I decided that the next wise decision would be to hop in the freshly cleaned pool and exert myself with a vigorous swim. So, as my body sunk further into weakness, I flopped around like an enthusiastic retarded kid swimming with dolphins. On Sunday morning I woke up with no voice and a fever of 101.

Retard.